Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hi everyone

Had a good meeting y'day and ran into a woman I'd met in detox last year. Three of us went for coffee after the meeting, and exchanged numbers, which is the first time that's happened to me in this town. Was very uplifted by it y'day, but battling depression again for the most part. Things are coming to head with mum in London - next Monday she has to formally accept a long-term placement in the home she's been in for five weeks, and relinquish her council flat of past 37 years. With the loss of that goes my last home in the UK. Lots of strong feelings around it, end of an era. So much of my sense of belonging and identity is tied to the place, despite that my home's now Australia.

Good for you Phil planning on a meeting after your slip. There's a guy in our group who relapsed for years, yet still attended meetings throughout. He's now five years sober. I finally understand what the 'keep coming back' is all about.

Hard to share all these details but know it's important I connect
Best love everyone, Stay well x

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hi Kayla, Mary and Phil. Good to hear from all of you today. Phil just get right back on track. Follow Mary;s wisdom. Kayla, so sorry about your Mum. It is so hard as they age and things change.
Started at step one with the women;s mtg tonight. A couple of months ago I thought I might be powerless over AL, but not that my life was unmanageable.......well my husband had just walked out...........duh...My counselor had to point that out to me! It's amazing how our alcoholic minds try to fool us and usually do, until we start fighting back.

Great story too from someone who saw someone in the rms walking out of a package store today. She questioned what he was doing. Going fishing, he said. She said what is that? A six pack. She asked if he really needed it and what for. She ended up taking it back from him and bringing it back in the store to get his money back. Came out of the store and gave him the cash. They hugged and he said he was thankful for her being there.
It seems she was running late, had to stop at the bank etc and ended up there later than she would have if the ATM was working. Her thought was the higher power intervened and that;s why she ended up there when she did.
What a great story, don't you think?

Winefree

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

WF, I love all these divine intervention stories, and seeing it at work in my own life, when I take the time to look. Hope you're doing okay with respect to your husb. Take care and share as much as you need x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Winefree;660671 wrote: It's amazing how our alcoholic minds try to fool us and usually do, until we start fighting back.

Just catching up and WF, you sure hit the nail on the head with that one. That is precisely why we have to just keep coming back and trying as hard as it takes to finally prevail, and then as Mary pointed out be vigilent to our graves if need be - ever watchful for AL who is patient in addition to cunning, baffling and powerful.

Mary I love all of your advice and I thank you for all that you share here and of course a special thanks for your help with my specific questions. It is obvious from your posts that you have an experienced sponsor who has guided you effectively through the steps you have completed so far. I've been floundering around and it shows! But I'm learning a lot about how things DON'T work and I guess that is knowledge too. Yes, when I'm back in the saddle aka driving and attending meetings again, I definitely have to sort out my own sponsor problem and then forge ahead.

Phil, I am sorry about that 6-pack but very glad to see you right back here and talking about meetings. And a sponsor to call whenever you need to if someone stands out to you back home. It is common to agree to a "temporary" situation so it is more comfortable for either of you to make a change down the road if it doesn't work out. (I do have that "temporary" clause in my own arrangement which I'm sure will make what I have to do easier!) In my short tenure at AA I have heard many, many stories of people on the edge of drinking, and talking of sponsors who in a phone call, talked them down from the cliff. (WF, that is a good story you told about the people at the liquor store!) I'm willing to use every resource that is offered in order to stay sober. I think it's worth it. We can do this Phil. Don't ever give up.

Kayla I can relate to what you say about noticing these little miracles in our own lives if we take the time to look. I turn a blind eye way too often.

I am wobbly today and heading back to bed shortly. But wanted to say hi to my friends and let you know the surgery went fine. Dad's too, although his road to recovery will be a much longer and more painful one than my own (which will be very fast if all goes as expected). I can't thank you guys enough for all of your thoughts and prayers.

I am hoping Mr. D will drive me to the Saturday morning AA meeting I usually attend and I can get a ride back home from there. Only problem is getting Mr. D up that early LOL!

Mean time, I will be continuing the Step 4 work while I'm home bound!

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Just a quick hello to all.
Being AL free is paying off in relation to my marriage. My hubby is moving back home tomorrow so we can start anew. It will be good to have him home after 3 mos.
Now I just need to stay on track and forge ahead to a better life.

Starting out on step 1 and step 2 in the step mtgs yesterday and today. Seems like a good place to be right now.

Winefree

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Wow WF! That's beautiful. The very best of wishes to you, and your family.............G.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

DG: Glad you're doing OK. Take care of yourself...& if you can get to a meeting, that would be great!

I too love the divine intervention story.

I'm doing well. The pink cloud is wearing off a little. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for my sobriety...it's just that I'm not as high on it as I was. I can see the effort involved in leading a sober, productive, spiritual life. It doesn't come naturally. I have to work for it.

That said: I'm putting one foot in front of another today & am going to a meeting tonight. Tomorrow, my Sunday night group is having a picnic to celebrate 25 years, & I'll be going to that w/my husb. I'm starting to feel a part of the groups, & people are starting to get to know me a little. It's taken almost 4 months, but I'm doing it.

Love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hello all.

Mary, the phrase "effort of leading a sober life" stood out to me in what you wrote today. For me it takes effort, and I'm not just talking about effort not to drink. It takes effort to not only do the things I like to do each day, but to do the things I don't like as much too, and not put them off. It also takes effort to really examine my motives and reactions and THINK before I respond to things rather than just go off the top of my head which is what I used to do - often my initial instincts are selfish and childish and I'm trying to be a better person than that and grow up. That is work for sure!! I feel good about the results when I can reflect back at the end of the day and realize that in some small ways I *am* learning and growing. It sure doesn't happen automatically for me though!!

Mary I'm not sure if that's the sort of thing you were talking about but that's what I thought of. Your picnic sounds fun and it's so nice to hear that you are getting to know people and they are getting to know you. I think you are a wonderful person and I'm sure your AA friends are glad you have joined them!

WF - YEAH!!! I am so happy for you that hubby is coming home so you can work on things. I don't know what other issues you may be dealing with besides the role that AL played in things. In my own marriage, we found that AL played a MUCH MUCH more significant role in things than we ever thought. My perceptions about what AL did to / for me as a person and as a wife were just SO bizarre and off track and not even close to reality. Things are so much better now. I hope it works out that way for you and Mr. WF too.

DG

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

What a great thread this is. Very considered and insightful.
Thank you all.
I'm very grateful for my sobriety and find the effort involved in being, and staying sober reaps a great reward.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

DG: Yes, that's exactly what I mean. The AAers say: "Do the next right thing for the next right reason." No, it isn't always easy. That's another thing I've heard about the AA program: It's simple but not easy. I love the idea of always examining my motives. That means I don't get to go on auto-pilot. That's not good for me. I do think that living mindfully (& wo/numbing out) will get easier as I go along, but for now, it's an effort...well worth the effort, but still an effort.

Popeye: Great to see you here.

Love, Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Popeye: I clicked on your photos. Very cute kitty. Mary

Cindi: Are you there?

Mary

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hi all
Just a quick burst of typing for me. DG, so glad you're doing okay, and your Dad too. WF, really happy to hear things are going in the right direction with your hubby. Mary, enjoy your picnic! Popeye, hello and welcome. Glad I have you all to check in with ...

I'm hanging in there with meetings, and some serious downs. Talked to my mum in the home tonight - trying to prepare her for tomorrows meeting with social services, who are about to officially require her to relinquish her flat, and agree to staying in the disability home full-time. As mentioned, she's young (67) so it's a huge ending - she said to me tonight she never imagined her life would end this way, in a home paralysed with MS. I'm trying to support her at a distance but she doesn't track things well - so much denial. Doesn't denial so totally obscure our view?

Anyway, this is the tip of the iceberg. I am struggling, no two ways about it, and there's only so much I can say about that here. Having D & A counselling in the morning - very much need it. Narrowly escaped picking up a drink this afternoon. My poor other half. Once again he had to talk me down.
BFN, love to you all x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Good morning all! In case anyone new is lurking and doesn't already have this link, here is a nice link to daily readings. Daily Recovery Readings

Mary, you made a point yesterday that really hit home for me this morning when I read this part:

Walk In Dry Places

Pats on the back
Self-esteem
Recovery from a compulsive illness such as alcohoism often brings "pats on the back." This praise is a welcome change from the criticism our problems once raised.
We should accept such pats on the back graciously, but without taking the personal credit this sort of praise implies. We can become addicted to praise seeking, and we may even invite it as a way of building up self-esteem.
Moreover, much of our challenge is still ahead of us. The real victory may be in learning how to live after we've established our initial freedom. We learn that all human beings must face issues such as boredom and pain, which we tried to avoid with our drinking. We may get few pats on the back for our success in this everyday living, but our healthier lifestyle is reward enough.
If I receive praise today, I'll acknowledge it graciously, knowing that such praise is not necessary for my well-being.

I have a huge ego and I really have to watch that when examining my own motives. I also have a ways to go moving past the "thrill of success" in an egotistical way in my sober life. This reading reminded me of what a woman said in a meeting quite some time ago that I haven't forgotten. She was talking about the level of celebration we share over anniversaries. She said something like "in our excitement we should never forget to that to our families and those we have hurt, we neglected our responsibilities for years and are now simply doing what we should have been doing all along." In other words - don't expect everyone to rent a hall and hire a band and have a parade just for us finally becoming the sane, responsible people that others in our lives have been all along, often carrying our weight in things.

Anyway...long thoughts for this AM!

Popeye it's good to see you here as always. I like your avatar - it looks relaxing!

Kayla, I cant' imagine how difficult it must be to try to help and support your Mom long distance through this difficult thing. Your post made me think of my own Mom who would rather walk across hot coals than have to leave her home. Thinking about your situation and trying to imagine what I would do if it was my own Mom made me realize that I really CAN'T "fix" everything the way I would like to. I can understand why this makes you want to drink - it would have me thinking that way for sure. I am glad that you have somehow managed not to drink, for the reasons we all know and love too well. I hope you will keep hanging in there one moment at a time - whatever it takes. Thank goodness for our other halves sometimes....

For me I am continuing Step 4 writing today - it feels good to have this underway. I need to get my sponsor stuff sorted out - I can see that I won't be able to fully do this without help from someone who has been down the road so to speak. It will all come in time - I'm not stressed about it. Mean time I feel even better today and have still not taken any prescription pain meds. So if this trend continues I will be driving to an AA meeting tomorrow morning. (the traffic is light at that time so it's a good time of day to see how that goes!)

Have a good & peaceful day one and all. Kayla I will be thinking of you and your Mom.

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hi my AA friends,

I am here, Mary. Thank you for asking.

I have been reading this thread a lot but unable to go to AA meetings for the last few weeks. I have been traveling or working erratic hours. Because I went to rehab, I am not allowed to drive on the company plan. So I have to cab it everywhere until I go through 6 weeks of random testing. That starts this week. It will be interesting to have to deal with this while at the client, too.

In the evenings at the hotel, I have work to do and usually with other colleagues.

It has been stressful. I want to get back into going to AA regularly.

However, I am sober and using MWO and this thread and the AF thread as a mainstay.

Thank God you are all here.

Love,
Cindi

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 6 - 12

Hi All Checking in since I didn't get on-line yesterday.
Hubby is home, so we will start anew. My drinking not only sent him out of the house, but into an affair, which I only learned about 2 wks ago. He is home now, so we need to sort through all of this. Marriage counseling a must. I truly don't think the affair would have happened if I had stopped drinking sooner. He just didn't think I would ever quit and gave up on not only me, but us.
So time for renewal, forgiveness and building a new life, AL free of course.

Cindi, hang in there with your travel. Kayla, you too. Definitely not going to help if you pick up the drink,. it won't change anything and only make things worse.

Love the Daily Recovery Readings on-line. I check them out almost everyday. Actually mostly when I take a break at work. It gives me time to reflect. Recently purchased a 12 Step Prayer book with many prayers for staying sober. Started reading them in the morning and before bed. Helps me with my higher power, which for me is God.

Take care all and enjoy your Sunday
Winefree