Saturday, September 9th

[cv1]

Saturday, September 9th

Hello all..it sounds like most of the storms have passed, so that's a good thing. I'm still abs and am on day 6 of my cleanse, despite the chinese delivery and the pizza delivery, so that's a good one for me. I made some really interested salads using all kinds of fruits and veggies so this journey is helping me and I think the combination of the cleanse and restricting the food is taking the mind off of thinking about drinking, because alcohol is acid-forming and it's a definite no-no on a cleanse.

But geez, major trigger this am...my daughter has been having rough issues with her teeth after having bulimia and I've already gone through several thousand in root canals alone and they just keep breaking off, so she asked her father to co-sign for her and he had his secretary and also her stepmother return the call and say call if you need help but save your money and it will be okay...geez...so it's right back on me again and I'm really irritated, only because everytime I've helped her out in the past she has stiffed me and I don't/won't go through it again because she needs to grow up and stand on her own two feet and take care of herself instead of putting dvd series, movies, cable, wireless, cellphone, nails and all of the other "extra's" ahead of necessities and expecting me or someone else to pick up the slack.

So I take her to the dentist, I'm arranging some payments, etc, and all she can do is argue, grouse and act extremely ungrateful.

If her teeth weren't so darn awful and it's inhibiting her ability to progress socially, emotionally and career-wise, I'd make her deal with it and save her money and use her insurance (she's already used it all this year).

Anyway, the whole episode made me want to have a drink and a nice bite to eat, but I haven't and I won't because I came on here and vented, so thanks for that.

If I ever get the shop, I promise I'll stock it with all kinds of fun things, including infrared-sauna's and some other really good fun stuff that's all good for you. Indeed, I'll have to have a second session for the ladies stocked with all of the knowledge of Dr. Lark (www.drlark.com) because she is an MD specializing in women's health for about 29 years.

Thanks all. Have a great abs day!

[Bambino]

Saturday, September 9th

Good for You CV... You sound like a Fab mummy. Obviously your little girl isn't so little anymore - ... teenager?

Teeth are SO ruined by bulimia... and I know that you want the best for her, I know I am younger than you ( I think ) but have no children so maybe I have no place to speak, , but, you have pointed out the 'teeth' issue'... if she is a teenager, then appearance is paramount at that age. Boy's , etc - if she's intested in her nails, then she will be bothered whether her teeth are pearlies?
You sound like my mum... I dug my heels in and said - ' I'm not Bovvered ' knowing full well that she would pull out all the stops to make everything right - but do you know, the day she said ' ok then. well we won't do it - you just carry on' -
WOW - That was a reality check !
I asked my dad for a new horse when I was 14 - tried the same 7 year old thing that worked the first time - sitting on his knee and saying ' daddy can I have a new pony ' .... NO WAY - They were wise to me then.

It's harsh kindness - and in my opinion, I think they should have said ' NO' a lot more when i was younger. And this I think has carried through into my adult life. Liz wants her own way - Liz usually gets her own way. I could go on and on about how I've got my own way through having a little sulk... it's wrong and selfish. I reckon I will write a ' My story one of these days because I never have done before - bearing in mind - you may have to take it in shifts to read it !!! And I have been speaking with Nancy quite a lot these days and she has been a great help with guidance and healing.
And I drink because I feel so guilty about all of the selfish things I have done .. I feel like I've been a sh*t -- it brings to mind that song by Tracey Chapman - Mountains of Things.

Anyway I've gone off track and a bit maudlin...
I'm ok - It just makes you upset when you actually THINK about how you have been.

I'm not going Loopy Liz - Keep Kool everybods !!!

Anyway back to CV - see - this is how self centred I am - I start off talking about CV and her daughter, and manipulate the conversation into ME ME ME...
This situation is being addressed through books The Life Recovery Bible and a book suggested on here by Allen Carr. And ultimately through my friends here.
Even though you have put me off painting my bath panel !!!!!!

CV just have a good girl to girl chat with her, I know she probably won't want to... We all know what it's like to be a teeny.

Love to you both :h

And naturally to everyone here
sorry - I always have a rant hour at this time of day day - between
6 and 7pm GMT - I would advise give it a wide berth at this hour !!!!! hee hee

P.S Listening to Nina Simone - Best Hits - It's Excellent - anyone heard it. She's now singin - ' Times, they are a changin' - I'm sure that's an Irish song. She has such and adverse variety of songs - Gospel, mowtown etc just all really uplifting ....
right going now.

Love you all
Sorry for being Ranting Rabbit !!!!





God Bless those who lost their lives 5 years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you in heaven and your families who miss you dearly.

[cv1]

Saturday, September 9th

Liz, thanks for the words and the thoughts. They are so true and it is difficult to stay "objective" and firm. She is actually 22 now and I had to go down to New Orleans and get her out after Katrina, so she is in a much better place all around on the surface. It's just difficult to draw the line between helping her boost her self-esteem and letting her manipulate her way through life.

I don't want that for her because it eventually catches up with you. Anyway, I know that you've had a rough go of things lately too, but try to pretend you are a duck sometimes and just let the feelings wash over you like water on a duck's back. You feel them, but they don't penetrate to continue to get more attention then they are worth. It's difficult, but it can be done.

I'm not sure of the thread but someone mentioned a while back that it seem like drinkers were like vinyl records or cd's with a scratch in them, so they just keep returning to the same place and playing the same bit over and over.

Keep trying Liz and we can all get that scratch smoothed out so that we can continue to enjoy the rest of our life's music that's ahead.

BTW, continue to stay strong and good for you for dumping the rest of the bottle!:l

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday, September 9th

A Quick Break!

Okay, Gabbs, so which font is it that you like better??? This one or the other?? Probably the other...

I'm just dwaddling because I should be vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen floor. Yuck. I hate cleaning. That's what I want. I don't need a big house. Just a housekeeper!! That's my wish in Absville!!!

At any rate, my sis should be here in a few hours, so I'd best get to it! I love our little dream town.

I'm being self-absorbed too, these days. I can't wait until I have a little more time to devote to REALLY taking care of myself, as well as devoting more time to all of you, too! I feel like I just pop on, talk about me, and leave!! Thanks for your patience with me!!!

Lots of love,
Kathy:l

PS: I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don't want to clean!!!:upset: :boohoo:

[lushy]

Saturday, September 9th

CV, I have to agree with Bambs. I know YOU want what is best for your daughter but SHE has to want it more. If her teeth are not her priority you should not be bailing her out especially when she is spending money on other, in my opinion, much less important things. She is an adult now. She needs to be treated like one. I will never forget when my parents put a down payment on my first car for me as a college graduation gift and then paid for the first few months of payments while I finished my internship. I was not purposely taking advantage of them when I finally got a paid job; it was just that a car payment was not part of my monthly bill paying routine. I know my mom felt "guilty" asking me to take over the payment but I realized then that it was time to be an adult. My recommendation? Don't pay for her dental work. Especially if she is not grateful about it. It would make a world of difference if she were over-the-moon grateful to you. I have one daughter and while we have a ton of fun together I am a HUGE believer in making kids take more responsibility in their lives than parents seem to do these days. I am considered one of the "stricter" parents in her group but she is also the nicest kid in her group. Continued good wishes on your cleanse. Are you not just starving?????

[cv1]

Saturday, September 9th

Lush, I agree with you so I'm taking out a loan for dental and have told her that I expect her to make all of the payments and that I will have her sign a promissory note so that if she defaults, it's not like the other times when she was a teenager and I was stuck with the bill. Although it will be in my name and I'll pay it off more quickly, I'll give her the 5 years of payments to me. I think this is the best way to go at this point because she has literally rotted her teeth and they are broken, brown, etc, so I'm looking at a minimum of 6 crowns in the front of her mouth and a bridge...

My cleanse is going really good, on day 6 now. I'm not starving but taking herbs 5x and bentonite psyllium shakes 3x plus eating fresh vegetables and fruits. No meat, no acid food, just the alkaline stuff, which can get kind of boring, but I've found some great no-salt herb seasonings and dress the salads with that, EVOO and organic apple cider vinegar. I love basil and pesto so I've been working on an acceptible substitute that doesn't have the parmesan in it. I'm being cautious and careful not to let myself get carried away but I am beginning to feel better and I've lost 6 lbs so far.

How are you doing? And everyone else?

[pansy]

Saturday, September 9th

September 9th

Hey abbers,

Haven't been on much this week. The two times I tried to get on were both times when the site was down. Had a slip last night, but otherwise abs is going really well. So far, 6 out of 9 days alcohol free. One day I drank a bit much, two days slips but not much consumed. Not too shabby. It is back on the abstrain for me. Somehow, I have always needed to work up series of abs days to get to my long distance periods of abstension. Anway, it is nice to know that I can do more than a week without much difficulty. Perhaps I shall aim for a two week period with no slips next. This is a hard time to start abs. Sort of reminds me of one of the airplane movies. Lloyd Bridges portrays this wacko whose lines went something like this "looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue, drinking coffee, etcetera ...." I guess I feel the same way this week.

New job is going very well, so that has alleviated a lot of stress. I am really so fortunate. At this point, I know I made the right move. My hours will be really long starting next week because I am now directing 4 major projects, plus writing again for publication. The return of relentlessly busy weeks is quite welcome as there will be a dramatic reduction in how much free time I will have. Unstructured time is a killer for me.

Hope things work out the way you want them to Gina. It is so hard to make those decisions sometimes! It is very good that you have the weekend to decide. Sounds like a good plan to enjoy those little ones. I bet your baby looks so cute in his uniform.

Mackeral, saw the picture of your little guy on yesterday's thread. He really is so adorable. I imagine he just loves his costume, too. Did he want to sleep in it?

Still visiting the hospital daily. In fact need to get my butt in gear and get out there in a few minutes. Thanks to all the folks who have been so supportive of me at this trying time. Things are getting better every day.

Have a wonderful evening in absville!

Pansy

[Bambino]

Saturday, September 9th

CV I know what I said before, but if i were in your position. I would do exactly the same. I think childrens jobs are to test their parents to their very limits, and she know that you WILL NOT have her walking round with wonky teeth - I had a fixed brace on both top and bottom teeth from the age of about 13 to 15 - wow - Tjose boys just were waiting in line !!!! FOR Metal Mickey !!!!

But I now have nice straight white teeth, and I know that it wasn't through the NHS , my mum and dad paid for it, so it's just lately , ( as I've mentioned before ) that at the age of 35, I am growing into an adult, I know it's a bit late - but I seem to be a late developer and I appreciate it now... perhaps I have been SO wrapped up in myself that I've always relied upon them to bail me out when troubles occur - which they always do !!! . I was a DORK I rode ponies and played the piano and violin - until I was 15, when all of my friends had boyfriends, went to disco's, tapped off ( made out ) ( AND HAD BOOBS !!! ) - Not Me !!! I was a good girl - THEN... BUT THEN I learned that actually I could do the hell what ever I wanted... But went hell for leather and went way over the top- which I think is still inside me today..
I think that if you are restricted as a teenager, when all your friends are going out to disco's - and believe me - no-one would have wanted to snog me - but just to go out with my mates would have bee a learning curve when you are 13, 14, 15 etc. But my dad would not let me. So the upshot is that there was MURDER ( not litererally of course ) and when It dawned on me that actually, - I CAN go out, - well it went right overboard - now this could have been prevented I think if my father had been a litle more lenient... They were School Discos for Crying Out Loud.

Now. as I always do , I have digressed once again.

I really willl sit down and type out the reasons why I get angry, and why I drink - I know them all myself, that's why I think talking to a councellor is futile. My problem is , is that I dwell upon them, but since I have MWO, this has dissapaited ( spelt wrong ) since I find my lovely convo's with you soothing and calming.

And if Everton Fan's who don't stop screaming WE Beat you Liverpool B**stards as they walk past my house very soon are going to get the sharp end of my tongue ( as my father says ) - I think it means being shouted at, but never questioned it. because never quite knew what it meant - it's Irish I tink !!!!

Gosh I'm like Ronnie Corbett on his Big Chair ( Then Two Ronnies Show )
I'll get back to the point.
CV. Yes - Get your baby 22 yr old's teeth done... this is a VERY important turning point in her life.
But as my mum said to me - - you want it - you have to pay me back for it. ( that was for my first car ) - see at tht time I STILL expected them to say - oh - just have it. But there is a time to draw the line.
A flash pink RAZR phone isn't going to get her anywhere. Nails need to be backfilled every 2 weeks. Teeth last a lifetime, and it is the rirst thig people look at ( and the eyes ) .

Sorry fot yapping on... Lee has been MIA for nearly 12 hours now - only playing on the other side of town...
Still

I've been a stalwart, and not drunk a drop - although I hold my hands up to being a bloody bore !!!


:H

[Mackeral]

Saturday, September 9th

Evening all, i managed to get out fishing for a couple of hours, but this time it was different...There was a twist......Fishing?.....A twist?.....How i hear you cry ...Well get this, my eldest Heather turned up at the lake with my mobile because i forgot it....She always makes fun of me fishing saying its an old mans sport and other various digs....So i asked her if she wanted a go while i phoned her mum....And i'm not joking within 30 seconds she had a fish on...I've never seen such a look of shear panic...and the high pitched noises that were coming out of her mouth only dolphins could understand....I could'nt stop laughing...Anyway i left her to it and she caught her first ever fish ( a roach of about Half a pound)....That was it then i could'nt get my rod back off her...Her eyes transfixed on the float...I think i got a new fishing buddy.

Poking my nose into what CV had to say about her daughter...Kids & young adults are so clever at minipulating their parents...One minute they are the spawn of satan..but the next ( usually when they want or need something ) they turn into angels...They can tell you exactly what you need to hear..They can play parents against each other ie mum said i can when mum dosn't know anything about it, and there are millions of little tricks they have to get money out of you. This ones my favourite my brother needed some extrs cash to go to the pub with his friends ( he's 26 btw ) so he went into my dads money jar, its one of those huge wisky bottles that you throw all your loose change in but never spend. Anyway he took out loads of 2ps 5ps 10ps and then took em to my dad who is a taxi driver and said do you need this for you money pouch ( hes a taxi driver ) My dad thinking he was being kind and helpful took the loose change off him and gave him a ?20 note saying thanks they will come in really handy......My brother is a bloody genius...But i know if one day i need a favour off my brother...I have the power.

To answer your question Kathy about what do men do instead of cry when their down......That is a tough one..I been thinking about it since you asked the other day, and all i can think of what i do is nothing....I just bottle it up...I think but i'm only guessing thats what a lot of men do. Men, well the men i know dont talk about stuff like that, makes you look a bit soft i think. I can talk to Lisa about anything but sometimes i dont want to ....I'm the Husband....The Dad...I'm the one whos supposed to fix the problems, not have them...Anyway thats what i think anyway.

Right i'm gonna go and do some reading and stick my nose in at other places around the boards.
Well done Gabby i could tell you were enjoying your stint as Mayor..You can do it again anytime...I enjoyed it as much as you did..
Goodnight all...Saying that i'll proberly be back in a bit...Love Macks:l

[Lou]

Saturday, September 9th

Hey guys

Guess i fell from grace massively...been on a bit of a wierd one all started of by a really strange thing that happened to me the other night....i went to bed at half 10 an woke up the next morning as far as i was concerened. but appparently not..half hour later was on phone to my mum telling her i wansnt the real louanne that i was the other one that doesnt give a f**k and that i was the louanne that hurts the other one..scary huh!! then i apparently proceededed to have an hour long conversation with my nan convinced that my mum had been in the house when she hadnt...i have no recolection of any of this and i had not drunk...scared the hell out of me though cause the last time i tried to od i said to my mum...its like someone flips a switch an i dont know im doing it then later i switch back an realise an im like oh s**t!!! im begining to think i have 2 personalities...i think the little girl inside of me who has been screaming for help for years is starting to really come out an im very very worried about this.
Bambs i dont know how to delete my personal messages so i can get more...someone please speak to me as i just dont know whats going on at the moment! i feel normal right now, but who the hell is the person im becoming in my sleep...or am i even asleep???? am i going insane? alll i know is i am worrying and scaring my family to massive extents, an as i said i feel fine now...but i was fine when i went to bed the other night then apparently woke up half hour later a different person which i have no recolection of...im scared to say the least.
Bambs if you can either tonight or tomorrow give me a call on my mobi

love you all... sorry for bein scary

Lou-Lou x x x x x

[Mackeral]

Saturday, September 9th

Hiya Lou, i swear to god i was gonna ask how you were doing on my last post, but i went off on a tangent about something else..
That does sound really scary, and i know you've talked to doctors already...And i think you said they were crap. Did they mention any possible therapy or drugs that could stop this from happening?

[Lou]

Saturday, September 9th

Hey macks

im supposd to be seein someone bambs recomended on tues for an initiall assesment but iv had to lie about where i live to get it as my docs jus arent interested, if i get accepted ill get a course of threrapy..but what i want more than anything is just to be properly assesed an diagnosed with whatever it is i may have...an stop bein treated for the wrong thing which i am certain is makin me worse...oh im sorry babes...im just in such a mess at the moment an it jus seems like noone wants to help....iv scared my family half to death by bein this other person an all i want is a big hug an someone to take care of me...im so scared

sorry!!!!


Lou-Lou x x x x

[Mackeral]

Saturday, September 9th

Bambs was on chat Lou, i think, i got a message to her through Lucky to phone you....
You dont have to be sorry for anything, i just hope to god you see somebody that can help you as soon as possible...

[Lou]

Saturday, September 9th

Scared

Macks..im so scared, tried to private message you but im all fulll an dont know how to clear it...feeel so siily but i cant stop cryin.....jus wanna feel better. thanks for your help sweet heart gosh im in such a mess!!! x x x x x

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday, September 9th

Hey, Lou-Lou,

I'm going to do this in two parts. To delete your messages, just go to the box on the right hand side of the message that you want to delete and check it. If you want to delete all the messages in your inbox or sent mailbox, check the box at the top right corner. It will then check all the messages down the page. Then at the bottom of the page, there is a drop down menu and when you drop it down, delete is one of the selections. Select it and then hit "go". Either all the messages, or the messages that you selected will be deleted and you will have room again.

You have to do this once for both your inbox and for your sent mail. I'm going to write you another post about your experience next.

Kathy