AF Daily - Friday 7/23

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Yep, Greenie,

Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones!

I think you will choose the right ones.

Your daddy needs the right ones and so do you.

Love,
Cindi

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Well it's a stabby day for sure!! I've been walking around with a cloud over my head for 2 days and can't figure out why. This morning I had to go back into the house as I forgot my cell phone. The lock has been giving me problems but a shot of DW-40 or whatever the hell that's called seemed to do the trick-EXCEPT FOR THIS MORNING!! Could NOT get the lock to turn. I was on time for work-even going to be early but not anymore. After 15 minutes of cursing, banging, jiggling I broke down and cried right on my steps. Then I realized i had a key to the back door but it required scaling my 5 foot high chain link fence to get there!! In flip flops!! Luckily one side of my yard is fenced in by my neighbors 3 foot high chain link so with the help of a chair in her yard I was able to get over that, undo the bungee that keeps the dogs out of the veggie garden and get into my house. Probably will need to do that again tonite!! By the time I got back in my car I was dripping sweat, had no makeup left and was lucky I didn't rip my pants or break something.
I too am SICK of doing EVERYTHING myself!! I do have my nephew to help with the yard but he's away this week and the yard has become a jungle so I will be out in the 90+ heat tomorrow mowing and trimming. Yes, Greenie, I know exactly where you're coming from with the work, the heat, the dirt. I wish I could help you with your "tools from dad's house" problem. No matter what you do, it 's still all you and you had no say in the first place. I'm so sorry. Take some time to be nice to yourself and some pampering. That's a lot of emotion to deal with at once. A solution will present itself when the time is right and when it's not so overwhelming to you.
Marshy-have a fabbie trip! Can't wait to hear all about it!!
Gaia, Bear, Cinders, M3, Lav-hope the day gets better for us all!
Bear-so glad the counseling session worked out so well. Enjoy the bands!!
time for lunch and then I HAVE to buckle down and put a dent in my work flow this afternoon so I don't have to take it home with me.
:l

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Greenie :H:H

That's what I fear - my grandson having some sort of total meltdown in a store & me having a heart attack over it - no way!!!!

M3 - CYB works for me

I'm with you bear - look for Young Flesh - screw the mature stuff Cindi, been there, done it :H

PM3 - You are in great company here. I think it's safe to say we all hate those extra shitty days.......... hang in there!!!

Well, I've stocked up on all of EB grandson's favs for the weekend. His drink of choice these days is Motts reduced sugar white grape apple juice He likes it straight - from the sippy cup

Wanted to mention FatFreeVegan has a nice Creamy Zucchini Basil Soup featured today.
Good use for all the zucchini but it is just too hot for soup, shame!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

I made zucchini basil soup 2 days ago! I added an avacado and wowed it! I don't care if it's hot. If I have something homemade and ready to heat & eat, I'm thrilled. Thrill in a bowl - it's what's for dinner.

Slowly making garage progress. FH said he could be released if someone could look after him for a couple days. I can't. I can visit him and help him from a distance, but I can't handle him in my space. I admit to be struggling a little with that. I'm not just a green bean, I'm a human bean. I can honor my boundaries with compassion, not guilt. repeat. repeat.

Wanted CYB, must be..... all of a sudden I feel a bit cougarish.

papmom... I soooo feel your pain.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Hi Again,

Greenie, I think you are absolutely making the right decision by not having FH in your home to take care of him. You are setting up healthy boundaries and having him stay with you and taking care of him would only lead to resentment and anger...and we know what that leads to. He needs to put his Big Boy Pants on and find someone else to take care of him.

Bear, Good for you for working things through with a counselor. Be very careful going out to see the bands tonight. As you well know, it is a challenging environment to be in when you are newly AF. Are you able to go without drinking? Do you have an exit plan?

Papmom3. Hang in there. I'm glad that you were able to have a good cry.

And a big pat on the back to all of us who are not drinking alcohol to manage our life challenges!!! ((pat, pat))

M3

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

FREE TO GOOD HOME: One husband. Good at yard work, dog training and assisting with odd jobs such as building and mounting a bat house. Handy with household projects including light plumbing. Is NOT compatible with short haired women.

I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and my eyes feel like golf balls with spikes on them, but we may be making some headway here. I have resisted the urge to RUN LIKE HELL to a bottle OR an alternate housing arrangement. That in and of itself is a miracle. I have also had the opportunity to examine some underlying issues SOBERLY. (the fear and running part of me) I have also had the opportunity to improve at how I draw a line in the sand that is reasonable, and work through it with Mr. D.

Geez men are a lot of work.

Hello to all and I am sorry to read of the bad karma day pretty much all around. The good news for all of us I think is that this too shall pass, and tomorrow is a new day. Mean time...

One thing is for sure.......there will be NO drinking AL for THIS doggygirl today. (murder maybe, but no drinking AL)

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

As crappy as I've felt today (on top of getting virtually no work done because we are shortstaffed and I've been on phone duty all day), there will be NO AL for this girl tonite!!
Rocky Road, yes, AL NO!!

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

DG - I can't believe you're getting such a hard time about this! And it's such a shame that something you were pleased and excited about has been turned around and criticised so much. Horrible. I hope you are making headway and get it sorted out soon.

Papmom - good for you, hang in there!

Right, I'm packed and off early tomorrow. Back in a week or so. Be good, everyone! (BTW, remember the email I sent to the woman I like who was leaving town? She finally replied today - hadn't got internet connection in her new home until now. So at least the lines of communication are open ).

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Marshy have a fabbie time! Good news on the leaving woman.

DG, WTF? :b&d:

m3 thanks for that - I needed it.

My car is in the garage. 2 bicycles are in the kitchen but I can work with that. :H

Let's all raise our glasses of fizzy water and lime because I know.....
ONE THING'S FOR SURE, THERE IS NO DRINKING AL FOR THESE GIRLS TODAY!!!

Fig fest at greenies in the AM -- wear bathrobes.

[auntiegriselda]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Hello again to all,
Sorry some of you are having a bit of a down day. It's actually been good here in spite of the boiling heat and humidity. We had a brief thunderstorm that broke it up a little.
I went to the Humane Shelter today and walked two dogs! I really wanted to stay home and veg again but made myself go. In spite of getting somewhat overheated I had a fabulous time! The first dog I took out was fairly small but she had a good time. After our walk I took her in the playyard and she hopped in the kiddie pool, then rolled on the ground before jumping on me! I was pleasantly dirty!

I am now 5 days AF going on 6 and have no intentions of drinking tonight!
DG, hang in there. I don't remember who said that it could be your DH is feeling a bit inferior to you who has done so well and is feeling better. Changes, even good ones, are sometimes stressful.
Greeny, I agree with the others. I think FH should let someone else care for him upon discharge. I don't remember all the history but it sounds like it might not be a good thing.
Everybody look for help with yards, garages etc, or leave them till it cools off! I have a guy who comes every two weeks and mows in about 30 min. It's wonderful and worth every penny.
I'm still struggling with my grown daughter, who is now 40, living with me. She doesn't have a job except part time babysitting and pet sitting. She has a new girl friend ,whom she met in a group, that she's been hanging out with. My DD doesn't contribute to the household at all other than doing some cleaning. Last night she came in after being out with this friend and went in the downstairs BR. She came out with two rolls of toilet paper in a plastic bag and was taking them out to the friend in the car!! Have you ever heard of anything so stupid?! I was just flabbergasted. She tried to hide it from me and then said it was only one roll when I plainly saw two! She said the friend didn't want to stop at the store! I'm trying to get her out of here and am talking to the therapist about it but can't seem to make myself throw her out esp in this heat. She says her friend has no room for another person to stay! I could write a book about what this. Somehow she's been endowed with a great sense of entitlement. Long story.
Sorry to go on so long.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Love,
Auintie

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Greenie, I missed that. Too bleedin' right you shouldn't be looking after him!

On that note, I really am off.

:bedtime::bedtime:

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Auntie, congrats on Day 5 going on 6 despite "life" which does tend to keep going on whether we want it to or not!! :H I'm sure things will eventually work out as they are supposed to with your daughter - especially now that you are sober and clear headed to consider everything without old AL sticking his nose in things. Sounds like the volunteer work is very satisfying for you and that is terrific. I think doing things to help others gets us "out of ourselves" and out of our tendencies towards pity parties (I can't drink! Wah wah wah! Poor me!!). All god. The image of dirty doggy jumping on you made me smile!

Marshy, have a ABBIE FABBIE time! I'm really happy to hear that your Woman of Interest got back to you!! Hope that means you have something to look forward to after your hiking.

Hello again to everyone - I promise to write more personally to each of you - my good friends - once there is more juice in the batteries.

I am getting ready to wind it down for the day. Too hot for gardening - if stuff is rotting out there, so be it. Movie watching and prezel / ice cream eating is in my near future. To summarize, of course this thing with Mr. D was not all about hair.

His piont of view:

1. Long hair is sexy!
2. I only dated long haired women because they are sexy!
3. My wife cuts off her hair!
4. She is no longer interested in sex with me!

My point of view:

1. I cut my hair!
2. Mr. Doggy thinks I am no longer pretty!
3. Mr. Doggy doesn't love me any more!
4. Run!!!! I better find a new apartment and get ready for a lonely single life!

Both points of view are obviously flawed. :H M3 you are right that silent treatment is a form of bullying - well put. And that is not a good way for us to non-communicate when trying to sort out our differing and equally flawed points of view.

What we agreed this afternoon:

1. I have every right to wear my hair any way I want and he needs to accept that.
2. My reasons had nothing to do with Mr. D or with sex / sexiness.
3. It's OK for him to not like my hair and I need to accept that.
4. His dislike of my hair does not equal rejection of me.
5. We both need to do our acceptance in a way that we have no resentments - move on.
6. Happiness is a choice and that is the way we both want to live one day at a time.

Rarely is there a situation where one of us is totally right and one of us is totally wrong. There is always something to be learned, and a growth opportunity for both of us. Before when he was using / I was drunk, we never got far enough to find the learning and growth opportunities. So this is new for us. Hopefully, we will get better at sorting out our differences so it's not always this painful of a process.

I think we're OK. I'll see how it feels in the morning. One thing is for sure.....

Thank you all so much for being my friends, for listening, and for offering support and input. That means a TON to me!!! :l

DG

[auntiegriselda]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

DG I admire you and Mr. Doggy for having such an important conversation. You're so right that it's very difficult to have those necessary talks with Al's nose in our business!

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

WOW. The man has talked! Glad to hear things are getting sorted in the Doggy household.

Auntie, hang in there.

Perhaps that collected stabbiness - what was Greenie saying about the moon?

I had a long talk today with a colleague who has a 'beautiful mind'. He wants me to do more work with him next year. AAhhhhh. Then I went to a concert. Sublime. My head is clear. Life is good.

Good night all.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday 7/23

Hey DG,

I bet that if you have sex with him, all will be well in his world!!

Seriously, sounds like you are working it out maturely.

Marshy, Have a great time!!!

M3