September Serenity - week 4

[rustop61]

September Serenity - week 4

Hi Papmom

Cross posted. Well done on sticking to the lemonade. I know how difficult it is when others are drinking around you.

Regarding AA, I went a few times and to be honest it was nothing like the meetings I read about on the AA thread here. I found it quite depressing. People kept going over and over and over the same stuff. It could be that because I had not reached rock bottom that I could not empathise. Maybe if you live in a big city there is more variety of meetings. That's my two cents worth but keep an open mind and try for yourself.

Rustop

[paguy]

September Serenity - week 4

Hi Papmom: Sounds like you had the same computer virus I battled last week. Glad to hear you were able to get it fixed. I installed PC Tools Spyware Doctor with Anti-Virus and my system has been running very smoothly. Those dang viruses are nasty!

[Rusty]

September Serenity - week 4

Hi Everybody,

Just got back from my workout-ah, that felt good! People in Tennessee are soooo nice...even my fellow workout colleagues were extremely polite!

Rustop-You have my interest piqued...I'll google MBSR! I love this thread...I learn so much from the people here Where do you live, by the way? In the UK? Forgive me if you told us and I've forgotten

Papmom-I have some VERY strong opinions about AA...especially if you live in a small town. I have had several negative experiences with people from AA over the last 18 years....way before I ever started drinking. Have you ever thought of Women For Sobriety? It is a great option to AA. I will send you a PM later today as well. Good for you for sticking to the lemonade with the temptation all around you, and for being so gracious about turning down the beer and wine. I think telling people you're quitting for medical reasons is just fine. People understand that and it doesn't beg for more explanation. Lots of people can't drink AL because of negative interactions wtih meds.

John-when my drinking was at my heaviest and on the odd day when I would overdo it with the AL whilst traveling, believe me, there were a few mornings when I woke up and couldn't remember where I had parked my car in the hotel parking lot!

Off to work! Have a happy AF humpday!

Love,

Rusty

[Lavande]

September Serenity - week 4

Happy Humpday everyone!

Busy, busy people here - nice

Now that Autumn is officially here the temps have decided to rise again. 90 degrees today, 88 tomorrow & 92 on Friday. Something is wrong!!!!! I was living the cooler, dry weather.

Chill, I envy your day today ~ sounds very nice.

Sooty, you're getting as goofy as me! I swear I don't know what day it is half the time, let alone the date! Did you think we killed too many brain cells in the past?

John, glide back into work slowly now - don't overdue & make yourself goofy like some of us.

Rusty, wishing you safe travels. Can you squeeze a few of those extremely expensive car mats into your suitcase? I'm sure someone would love to have them!!!!

Papmom, that computer virus is the very same one I had here. It's everywhere - including the college campus where Mr Lav works. Such a pain!!!! Hope your company leaves soon, ha ha!

Rustop, you're right about the circle of life with the hens........they did have an excellent life here. I'm not feeling as bad about it this morning as I had feared. Maybe I will turn into a real farmer some day!

OK, time to get moving.
Wishing everyone a very happy humpday!

Lav

[Chillgirl]

September Serenity - week 4

Rusty - I think you cope amazingly with all the traveling you do! You take it in your stride and never complain, I hope you enjoy your time at home next week.

Paguy - early mornings are my favorite time of day too, I love to wake up just as the sun is rising, especially now I'm sober it always feels like a chance to make a brand new start.

Papmom - this computer virus is really scary! Well done on sticking with the lemonade..

Rustop - your meditation course sounds simply Devine, right up my street...

Just before I left for my lunch party today I had more tough news from my ex re our financial situation and the stress in my head felt like a bomb ticking about to explode. I really craved to escape the horrible buzzing in my brain and wanted so badly to get blind drunk into oblivion.... A coach took myself and 40 guests to the restaurant and before we had even set off champagne was passed round. I think today has been the toughest day of my sobriety and I had such a "fuck it" mentality going on in my head. The party went on from 1pm till 9pm this evening and boy was the booze flowing! But I didn't touch a drop and even passed on the champagne ice cream for dessert. God alone knows how I managed to get through this......

I'm up at 5am tomorrow and flying to the UK to stay with a girlfriend for a long weekend, I hope the change of scene does me good.

[papmom3]

September Serenity - week 4

Chill- I'm so sorry you got more bad news right as you were leaving for your party BUT.......
:wave::applaud::yougo::yougo::bow:rockon:

they only allow us 6 emoticons but I wanted to give you one for every glass of champagne you passed on today!! You are my hero right now!! you are truly the epitomy of your avatar and username. Have a fabulous visit back home and I sure hope that divine providence will provide you with a smashing opportunity that you just can't pass up.
Hugs and more hugs (no smilies left!!)

[Chillgirl]

September Serenity - week 4

Papmom - you are such a beautiful open hearted person and I got true warmth from reading your post, I'm already in bed but I so wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you. It actually just really struck me how difficult today was and i'm a bit dazed that I got through it, this is when I realize there has to be some devine intervention helping me along.....:l

[Guitarista]

September Serenity - week 4

Hi everyone,

Geez Chilli, your day sounds like bloody hell. Great stuff on getting through that. It would test the greatest of patience! I reckon your UK trip sounds like it'll be a big breath of fresh air for you. Have a great time!

Computer virus would just totally piss me orf! Glad you're back typing your impression's of the world from your respective, and much valued perspectives, P3 and Pa.

I've only been to 3 AA meetings Rustop and Rusty, spread out over 2 year's, and in my small experience, found them quite different. I suspect it's a lot to do with the mix of people, and how that particular meeting is run. Whilst the AA format is probably a universal one, i see they can have a quite different feel to them. (RB would have much better insight than me) The last one i went to was great, small group of 8/10 folk's, well run, and i found it beneficial. My first one was small, in a dingy basement, and whilst i got a lot out of it, i didn't feel it was the mix of folk for me, though it can alway's change as new folk drop in. The 2nd meet was a bigger and more 'celebratory' or a cheerier atmosphere somehow, so as they suggest on the AA thread, it can take time to find a group we are comfortable with. As for AA meetings in a small town/community situation, i understand how that is a difficult step to take.

Have a great week all!

[cyntree]

September Serenity - week 4

Happy end of hump day --
Chill - OMG, you are really being put through the ringer...BRAVA for your fortitude today - I hope that you will give yourself huge hugs on awakening, knowing that you had a narrow escape from a horrible hangover start to your trip to the UK. (UUUUGH - traveling hung over, the worst, and I seem to have a few of those memories...) I hope you have respite and lots of love surrounding you on your trip.

Hello all else - sorry, only a quick chance to jump on and read today's posts, still behind on the first 4 pages...Lav, I hope that someone told you to celebrate that you had given your old 'girls' a wonderful life, and not to worry about anything else. Funny, I woke up thinking about that. And whenever I see the full moon, I think about you not being able to sleep - I hope you will get some zzzzs tonight. Papmom, I found AA to be totally about which meeting you are in...that said, even with a good group, it was not for me. I have done much better without it, but lots of people are helped...I think there is no one way, just find what works best for you, and don't waste any time feeling guilty about it!

Full moon blessings on everyone -

[rustop61]

September Serenity - week 4

Hi everyone

Chill - I so admire your strength. If you can handly Al the way you are then you will get through this financial crisis no problem. Enjoy your time in the UK.

Rusty - I'm in Ireland and our friend Sooty is in the UK and we are both doing the exact same course!! Came across it separately and happened to post about it here. Small, small world we live in. Looks like a lot of us ladies have more in common than just our addiction to Al.

Guitarista and Cyn - you are probably right regarding trying different AA meetings. It's hard in a small community and the two different ones I tried were much the same. I agree with you Cyn, there is no one way, just find what works best for you and dont waste time feeling guilty about it.

Hope everyone else has a great Thursday. Am off now to do my 40 minute meditation.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

September Serenity - week 4

Good morning all!

No virus for me, just getting up too late. I really would love if the time changed as I have already changed my time. I am just sleeping so well, and it is hard to get up when it is still dark.

Papmom and PA, I also had weird experiences at AA many years ago and am not into it. But, again, the group makes the difference.

Chill, you did a fantastic job AF at the party It is agony to be in financial crisis. Just reading about it is painful. I just wish there was something positive to be done so you could get control in your life back. I am glad you are going on a weekend trip. Maybe something will come of it in the UK. Sending you strength and peace.

Rustop, that meditation course sounds wonderful. You are lucky to have found it.

Rusty, you sound great, I feel guilty hearing about your workouts. For the first time in my life, I havenot exercised for months. Just no time. Hey, is that an excuse?

PA, hope you are feeling better and getting back your mobility and freedom.

Lav, you sound busy and productive, good to hear you are doing so well.

Have a great AF day.

[paguy]

September Serenity - week 4

Good Morning:

It is a foggy morning here today so there was no waking up to a beautiful moonshine (that is a shining moon ? not the hard stuff!) And, no dreams of alcohol last night ? just a dream that I acquired a 2nd Westie. I would LIVE to have a 2nd dog but it is not at all practical right now.

Got back to work yesterday and felt pretty exhausted at the end of the day. Not too much craziness happened while I was out so that?s good news.

Chill ? enjoy your trip to the UK. I think a change in scenery will be good for you during these trying times. You are doing amazingly well considering the circumstances. Keep up the great work.

Regarding AA meetings ? I attended a few about 11 years ago during one of my early attempts to stop drinking. At the time, I was only interested in attending a group with other gay men and women ? just thought it would be easier for me. I think I attended a total of 4 meetings and then stopped. My recollection is that from my perspective, most of the attendees had reached rock bottom and I didn?t feel like I could relate with many of the people. Also, the meetings I was attending were in the city and it was a 1-hour drive for me which was not very convenient. I have looked into AA meetings that are more local to where I live now and there is a group that meets at a nearby hospital ? just 10 minutes from home. I think I may eventually gravitate towards seeing what those meetings may have to offer me.

I want to tell all of you that my participation here in the MWO community has really strengthened my confidence and resolve to remain AF. And, I am feeling that my ?virtual? anonymous interactions here will actually make it easier for me to participate in a more public forum. I think later this Fall, once I become mobile, I will give AA a try at one of the local chapters. The fact of the matter is that I am surrounded by alcohol in all of my social surroundings and I think it will be helpful to have a group that I can relate with that reinforces my AF status.

Nice to see your post, Star!

Everyone else - hope you have a great Thursday!

[spedteach]

September Serenity - week 4

Morning everybody,
I'm not running right now because it's raining. I'm loving it. We've had a long dry summer. My feet are fine if I limit my mileage. Go to the podiatrist on Oct. 4th. Last time I went for this they were talking surgery! Thinking of you Paguy.

I did AA for years, hundreds of meetings, really gave it a try. Meetings vary a lot but eventually it all comes down to the 12 steps. I am not a religious person but they told me that didn't matter. The steps say you must believe in a higher power (their euphemism for god), understand that only god can get you sober, confess your sins, have said god remove all your character defects. Then step 12 says spread the word to all others that suffer. If that's not Christian based, I don't know what is.
Too early in the morning to rehash my anger with AA. Like Cyn said, everyone has their own way.

My son and his fiance will arrive on Sunday. Maybe I will finally stop trying to clean an already clean house. Woke up at 1:30 this morning and my mind immediately starts churning, things I have to do, things I must worry about. Somebody throw that meditation class my way. A week from today is the day 12 people are staying at my house.

These computer viruses sound awful. Paguy, I've never had a virus. Should I install something on my computer right now?

Chill, how hard it must be to be experiencing financial woes and attending opulent luncheons by the sea. Don't you just want to shout out, throw some of that $ my way? Have you read "House of Mirth" by Edith Wharton? Lily Bart, the heroine, lives a lavish life style and barely has a penny to her name. Great classic read.

Lav, you're already a farmer in my book!

Star, how is your son?

I need to find a job for today. Later.

[Lavande]

September Serenity - week 4

GM friends,

Yep, got lots of fog here this morning after a wild evening of thunder storms with lots of lightning!

Shelley, I ended up buying the latest version of Norton to protect my computers..........the older antivirus software I was running just wasn't doing the job anymore. I picked it up at Best Buys for around $80. You don't need to be picking up a virus now with so much going on in your life

John, glad the return to work wasn't too bad for you. No more Oprah watching for you!!!!

Chill, I hope your visit to the UK is good for you!

Well, I have work waiting, a guy scheduled to come coat the driveway this afternoon, chick care & EB watching on my plate today.
Better get to it!!!!!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday.
Lav

[sooty]

September Serenity - week 4

Evening all, late check in for me - busy day and choir tonight so bedtime soon for me!

Hope you've all had a good day - see you tomorrow
love Sooty