AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

[Marshy]

Morning abbers,

I'm sitting here with a silly plastic hat on waiting for the hair dye to do its thing. Oh the joys of being 29 . Actually, twas my birthday last week (29 again!) and the GF took me to the seaside for the weekend to a fabulous hotel overlooking the sea. We ate too much, walked along the sea front, wandered about in art galleries (I bought a dinky little triptych of beach huts) and spent a lot of time in the huge bathtub in our room that was on a little podium thing in a bay window so we could lie in the bath watching the sea. It was lovely.

I was reflecting afterwards about how different it was from previous (drunken) birthdays and how much things have changed in the last few years. I'm so glad I made the decision to quit and went through all the crap to get out the other side.
Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't had a chance to catch up yet. Been out there living the sober life!

Have a good day everyone!

[mario]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Hi marshy and happy belated birthday to you,

Just chillin out myself,

Hope everyone has a good enjoyable day.

[Marshy]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Thanks Mario

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY MARSHY!!:bath2::day5:

Good Morning fabbies!

Hey ho Mario! Nice to see you!

I've been quite busy myself and it isn't going to let up soon. I thing the bathroom tile gets ripped out this week so I've got to hustle on the wall paper removal today. Ewww...

I went to a spend-the-night girlie birthday party last night. However I did not stay. I had planned to come home and sleep in my own bed and it was nice that I could as I was the only sober one there. When questioned about not drinking and asked my reason.. you could have heard a pin drop. All the alcohol induced chatter and laughter stopped ~ it was sort of strange. I simply said I didn't have a cut off button and it was more effort than I was willing to to exert to try to limit myself to a glass or two, and that I absolutely loved feeling great all the time. The questioning person said "Well when I dont' drink for a couple days I don't get all sweaty and shakey so I guess I'm not an alcoholic, right?" I smiled and said I guessed that was something everyone figures out for themself. And the party resumed... So here I am on a beautiful sunday morning feeling grand, and like marshy.. loving being on the other side.

Everybody have a great AF day! You're doing great racking up the days, weeks, months!
Uni, keep steady!

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Hi fabbies!

HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MARSHY!!! Sounds like you had a FABULOUS time with XNGF at the seaside. It really is wonderful to contemplate the difference from life with AL to life without AL. For me it's been like going from black & white to color. (now I want to watch the Wizard of Oz!) Love the mental image of sitting in the elevated tub and looking out at the sea. So happy for you Marshy!

Hi Mario. I love seeing you here these days!

Greenie, I love the description you gave of your exchange re: AFness at the party. I love your honesty. You never know - that honesty may help someone who was in the room if they decide they need it.

Uni, I've been thinking about you. I hope you are having a good day today.

I forgot about the time change so thought I was up plenty early and planned to go to AA at 7. OOPS. I am wanting to start putting away the winter clothes and getting out the spring stuff today. We'll see how far I get with that!

My heart goes out to the people of Japan. What a horrible disaster. I hope the nuclear plant issues come under control.

No room for AL in this girl's life today.

DG

[Lavande]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Good morning Abbers!

Apparently I forgot to tell one of my dogs about the time change

Happy belated 29th BD Marshy! Nice that you were able to get away
Come to think of it - I haven't seen the Atlantic Ocean in nearly 5 years & it's not all that far away.

Greenie, stripping wall paper was my specialty in the last house. It was seriously old, embedded with dust & made me sneeze like a crazy woman while working on it :H

DG, YB is on his way to Danville, IL this weekend to watch the basketball team (from the college where he works). He usually flies there & back but decided to drive this year. If he gets lost in your neighborhood, give him a kick

Time to go take care of my feathered kids.
Hoping to get some new Lily pics today, she's growing already

Hi Mario!

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Lavande;1075632 wrote: If he gets lost in your neighborhood, give him a kick

:H:H:H

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Doggygirl;1075611 wrote: You never know - that honesty may help someone who was in the room if they decide they need it.

I agree. I think the sudden silence was an indicator of some "reality checks" going on.

[Sarasmiles]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Happy Sunday, Abbers!

And Happy 29th, Marshy! :day5:

Hey to everyone else. I loved hearing about what you said at the party, Greeneyes. Very good way to explain it to people. Last night I had a very painful time with my husband. Friday night he had definitely had too much to drink at a party. I tolerated it okay, since it is a rare thing. He typically has two drinks a day and seems to be okay with that. Last night I watched him down one big cocktail (all rum, with lime juice and sugar) with a friend who came by. They each went to make a second and I felt this mix of rage and anxiety well up in me. It was not jealousy. It was contempt. I know that sounds harsh, but that's what I felt. When our friend left the room for a moment I told my husband "I think that's too much...you got drunk last night, are you going to do it again tonight?" He looked tense, and put the drink aside.

Later we talked and he told me, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you watching what I drink and counting my drinks and disapproving of me..." It really felt like a knife in my heart. A criticism of me; like he was wishing to be with someone more fun and easier and who would enjoy drinking with him. I know I read a lot of that into what he said. But anyway, I am left realizing that I need now to figure out how to accept this difference between us, and not judge him or be angry when he drinks. It's either that or we can't be together. In the past I've decided I'd better try moderation again so that I could drink with him. I've wanted to eliminate that feeling of contempt and superiority by joining with him in having drinks. I can't do that again. I can't drink moderately. So I'm going to have to learn to live with his drinking and my not. Any advice would be greatly, greatly appreciated. I'm scared.

We're off for a hike with kids and dog. Love to all.

Sara

[Marshy]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th



My dinky little triptych.

Doggygirl;1075611 wrote: So happy for you Marshy!

Thank you.

The news from Japan is horrendous. That one town where 10,000 people are missing... god, I grew up in a town not much bigger than that and it's like the whole place has been washed away.

Greenie - when my sister was quite drunk at Christmas she asked me why I'd stopped drinking. Can't remember what I replied now but I think people are curious especially if they drink too much themselves and wonder if maybe they have a problem.

Sara, that's a tough situation. My girlfriend doesn't drink very much and never drinks when we're at home (because of me) and she's fine with that. Only a couple of times when we've been out somewhere and she's had a couple of drinks have I felt... hmm, maybe that she wasn't being very thoughtful about me. But then I have to remember that's it's my problem, not her problem. I simply can't drink. And also, if she wants a drink then I want her to be able to have one. It's different, of course, because we got together when I was sober and I told her straight away I was an alcoholic and it wasn't any kind of issue for her. It must be different if you've been together for years and used to drink together and now you have to stop. I'm sure it's something that will get easier for you as you feel more comfortable in sobriety. That early time is difficult in all sorts of ways.

Lav - any progress with YB? Has he still got the beard?

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Marshy;1075705 wrote: Lav - any progress with YB? Has he still got the beard?

Yes. So I will know who to ..... umm..... wave at when he drives by. :b&d:



Sara, have you tried to have a discussion about drinking /alcohol and where it does/doesn't fit into your relationship / life going forward? I know with Mr. Doggy if there is something I wish he would do differently, I need to talk with him about it in a calm moment, which is NOT usually right after I have glared at him for doing *whatever.* (although I often forget that and continue to attempt these conversations at the wrong moments! :H Someday maybe I will learn!) When it comes to drinking, I am fortunate that Mr. Doggy sound a bit like XNGF in that booze is just not that important to him so things like not drinking at home are no big deal. Whew. I feel VERY lucky about that considering what a drunk I was when we met. Sara, these changes are not easy within relationships. Hang tight and be patient. And you already know drinking is not the answer.

Marshy I like your triptych. I didn't know that's what they are called. This forum is so educational!

Grocery shopping done.
Fruit salad made.
Break is now over.
Off to change sheets and then pack up some sweaters and cords.

One thing is for sure.

DG

[LVT25]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Hello friends,

Man am I tired! Two late nights in a row at my son's basketball tourney, and then the time change. Ugh!

Sara--we need to talk! My hubby and I were drinking buddies from the day we met. When I quit, he did not. And he is not a social drinker. He drinks more nights of the week than not. Sometimes he seems to control his intake--other times not so much. It has been a real issue for me, that I don't need to go into here. I will pm you. :l But please don't buy into the trap that you have to DRINK to be his partner and friend. :h

Would love to respond to everyone's post, but I need to deal with some things before we head out for the Championship game!

Happy sober Sunday all.:h

[Cassia]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Hi all

Been a bit MIA for a while as I have only had access to my iphone and I always like to post 'sub sandwich' threads on here so thought best wait til I can get a hold of the laptop (hubby is kinda clingy with it! WAIT TIL I GET MY IPAD!!!)

Anyway, I have been lurking if not contributing.

Marshy - happy birthday! It sounds like you had a lovely weekend away.

Greenie - very interesting conversation with your friends. I had a similar - OMG moment with my work colleagues last week when I told them I quit drinking. It was like I had said I eat small children for dinner - total shock. Then they asked why and I said that it was becoming an issue in my life and I don't have an off switch. They said they were very proud of me not in a mocking way but in a good for you for doing something about it. Was still very strange!

Lav - how is the beautiful lily?

Jenny - thanks so much for getting the thread started a few days this week!

Sara - I haven't spoken to you much so hello and welcome back! I think the situation with your husband may partially resolve itself through a frank and honest conversation about how it makes you feel when he drinks. One thing I would caution is that you have to be truly sure why it upsets you - is it because he is an ass when he is drunk or reneges on commitments etc - things that impact on both of your happiness. Or is it because you want to be able to drink too and there is a bit of contempt there. Because if its the second instead of the first then its really your issue that you need to resolve internally. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh. I, like DG and Marshy, have a partner who isn't bothered about drinking and actually has quit with me (although that was his choice - if he wanted to drink for be it for me to stop him - he has an off switch!). I know that I would be annoyed if he drank but deep down that would be because I couldn't join in.

Hello to everyone else.

So, what's been happening in the wonderful world of Cass - well quite a bit actually. It's eight days until I go to the States so I have been confirming all my appointments and putting a rocket up people where necessary. I have also been sending messages to others to try and get appointments as I am trying to leave no stone unturned. This may be the only proper shot I have at getting a job in the US without an actual physical move. I have arranged for two letters of recommendations which I will bring with me as well as photocopies of all my qualifications. Damn, I have a lot to do this week.

My best friend has quit drinking for Lent - she was getting very depressed even after a couple of drinks and decided to join me in AFness to see if it is the drink that is giving her depressive issues or its something deeper. We will see.

My other friend is also considering going AF after making a royal ass outta herself at a work's function. I had to have a very uncomfortable conversation with her and she needed to apologise to some of my colleagues who she hopes to do business with. It was not good but so easily could have been me - there but for the grace of god.

What else - my cat had surgery this week after getting into a fight with his archnemesis - looks like the cat got his tongue literally as there was a huge tear in it that got infected. He is totally fine now but was pretty miserable.

Hubby was also sick this week and for the first time EVER...I didn't catch it. I put it down to AF, lots of exercise and generally taking better care of myself.

Today is my 81st day! I am well looking forward to my 90th on the 22nd which, coincidentially is the day I leave for NYC to make a proper life change for me and my husband. AWESOME

love to you all,
l x

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

well, while I'm avoiding the wallpaper project, let me just read cassia's post...


Awesome! You sound good and solid with all that going on!

[Lavande]

AF daily - Sunday, March 13th

Good look samich there Greenie :H

DG - YB is currently beardless (thank God)!
But he certainly is sporting a pretty stupid look on his face these days........ not in the mood to go into it at the moment.

I decided to surround myself with happy people today so I'm cooking dinner & waiting for the kids & grandkids to arrive

I'm wearing my Polish Chicken T shirt today - I'll try to remember to get someone to take a picture of it. The hatchery sells them & I just got it

I told you it doesn't really take much to make me happy

Hi Cassia - you sound great!!