Joyful June - Week 2

[rustop61]

Joyful June - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Sun is shining again and have had my walk so feeling better. New week, better choices food wise. Like you Pap, I want to become a gold member of WW and I know I just need to keep going to keep myself on track. I'm a bit like your friend Star, I can easily eat as much as hubby so I really have to watch my portion size.

Exams for the next 4 days and then thankfully it is all over. I will be so, so glad. Off now to pick her up something tasty for lunch and am going to drop it off at the school. She is in until 5 p.m. today so its a long one.

Big hello to everyone. Have a great AF week.

Rustop

[Jolie]

Joyful June - Week 2

Morning everyone!

Busy busy weekend for me - graduations/weddings - good weekend all in all.

Lav - have you been outside yet this morning? Absolutely beeeutiful. Now I could get used to weather like this - wish the whole summer could be like today.

Feeling kind of off-kilter lately. Had trouble falling asleep last night - anyone ever feel like they just aren't sure what there purpose is here or that they really aren't being productive? I don't know what's wrong with me - mood swings, just feeling kind of restless with myself - I think I need to find a new hobby or something. Jeez - I know what was taking up so much of my time before January but I still haven't found something to make me feel productive/useful.

Sorry - don't mean to be negative and it's such a beautiful day out that I know I need to pick myself up out of this funk and get on with life!

Chill - that is seriously mind-blowing about the job offer. Is there any chance that you are considering it?

Rustop - Hope this week passes quickly for your daughter and you - I know how hard it is being a parent and watching your children deal with the pressure of exams. Your a good mom!

Howdy to Star, Papmom, Guitarista, New Grange and Mario - hope you guys all enjoy your day!

[paguy]

Joyful June - Week 2

Good Morning Friends:

Sorry I've been out of touch lately. Life seems to be so full and keeping busy with work, my garden, and my running! Just finished 3 back-to-back weekends of races and I am very pleased with my results. I managed to finish in the top 10 in my age group for 5 of the 7 races I ran this season and I am happy with that accomplishment.

I mentioned to Lav that I think my subconscious is telling me to stay VERY busy as I approach my 1-year anniversary. I am just 1 month away right now and I just don't even want to think about alcohol.

Papmom - I appreciated reading about your dream where you downed a beer without even knowing it. I am so nervous that something like that will happen to me and I will have lost a year's worth of hard work. I think once I pass the 1 year mark it will be easier?

This time of the year is more challenging with all of the outdoor events and spending more time on the patio and out in the garden. This was always the time to have a cocktail in my hand. To replace that impulse, I have become a proficient weeder - another tactic to keep me busy. :H

Chill - Good for you! The job offer back in Portugal tells me that more similar offers will be coming your way. Stay confident and be patient!

The comments on the impact that stress has on poor eating habits rings so true for me, too. I can be in such a good place with my nutrition and eating and the minute I face off with a stressful situation, I find myself craving junk food. It is so hard to control those impulses when the situation strikes! And, Star, YES - portion control was a huge part of my physical transformation. Especially at dinner time, I would eat at least 3x the amount I should have eaten. What's that saying: Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper?

Well, folks, I hope you all have a pleasant week. I'll try to be better at keeping in touch this week.... Stay well....

[paguy]

Joyful June - Week 2

Good Morning, Jolie - Crosspost!

[Rusty]

Joyful June - Week 2

Good Monday Morning Oh Joyful Friends!

Everything went just great this weekend at the wedding, except the weather!:upset: It was very cold and rainy until yesterday....and even with the sun, it was too cold to swim, but I had a great time dancing at the reception, and the food was incredible at both the rehearsal dinner and the reception. I could tell I had had fun when I got on the scale this morning.:H I spent much of the time transporting my aunt and uncle from the hotel to my mom's house....I about lost my mind as my aunt is very shallow and repeats stories two or three times when she just told you the same story the day before. It turns out I was fearful about nothing when it came to my sober aunt. She was nothing but kind and gracious, bubbling over with gratitude that I would spend so much time with all of them (3 uncles and two aunts were guests). She made NO comments about the status of my AF life, thank God! Even with boatloads of effort, I have not managed to overcome my anxiety over anticipating negative situations....even if the event is a year away. I must try harder to beat this because it is a colossal waste of time.

Rustop-sorry about your daughter's exam. That was disappointing for sure.

Papmom-sorry about the $$$$$ to have to retrofit the brakes on the Paphut. Glad the drinking dream was just that....a dream.

Lav-we have so many deer in my neighborhood that I have to be extra careful when driving at night.

Star-I am with you about cleaning. I always love a clean house. I have a very faithful 27-year-old Latino man who cleans mine....he calls me Senorita. My nosy SIL thinks it's very peculiar that I have such a young, Hispanic man cleaning my house. So I decided to yank her chain. The other day, he was here very early in the morning....and I was doing paperwork, and my SIL called and she shouted, "He's there already?!!!" And I said, "Yes, he just stepped out of the shower, and man, was he ever good!" She just gasped.:H

Chill-how exciting that you were offered a job in Portugal! I think Jupiter is aligning with Mars because it seems like opportunities abound for you.

Has anyone heard from Paguy? I am concerned. I will e-mail him in a little bit.

Well, time to get some work done....but of course, I'll be back.

Have a wonderful AF Monday, everyone!

[Rusty]

Joyful June - Week 2

Paguy...sorry, cross post. There you are! I have missed you!:h

[Rusty]

Joyful June - Week 2

Jolie-I had those same thoughts all weekend....very unsettling...and I feel like I have to develop new hobbies, too. Soooo, I have decided to take my mother up on her generous offer to buy me a new bike. I used to love to ride bikes and so now, even though I'm rather nervous....I have the benefit of being AF. The last time I rode a bike, I had been drinking and you can imagine what happened....I ended up in the ditch. Good thing that I wasn't on a road...it was a biking trail and I landed in the grass.

[Jolie]

Joyful June - Week 2

Rusty - we are on the same wave length! I have had an old bike for several years that my Dad gave me. It needed a new seat and a new tire. I seriously started thinking about getting it out of the shed, making the repairs and riding again (I haven't ridden for many years but like you - always enjoyed riding a bike). Come to find out my wonderful hubby got rid of it! I'm hoping to get a bike for my b-day so we'll see.

[Stargazerlily]

Joyful June - Week 2

Good morning all, I have time for a quick post, then off to work.

Bike riding is so fun,and I am sure sober you will not go off into a ditch. I like it cause it is easy and fun. It is a good way to enjoy the weather.

Thought, I too feel empty at times, and I wonder if it is just me. Who says I have to be busy all the time to be fulfilled. I like to garden, read, talk to friends, exercise, bike, I mean, how many more things do I need to do? Could this be a symptom or characteristic of someone who is fond of their alchohol, the, "more, more, more," or, "I am not good enough," or something like that? I don't know, but like rusty and jolie, I felt that way this weekend, needing more interests or something to fill the empty space. To all, please comment.

Ok, off to work.
To all, have a great day, AF.

[Dewdrop]

Joyful June - Week 2

I?m glad to hear everyone is good and Chill it?s wonderful to hear all your news ? job offers, dates, trips to London, Wayne, your life is really turning around and isn?t it fantastic to have so many choices and opportunities. P3 you are such an inspiration on here with your energy and lively outlook, we all have down days and it?s great to see you bouncing right back. And while you might not be able to go off touring in your little paphut at the moment you will be able to one of these days so keep dreaming because you are half way there ? and you know if I win the lottery your problems will be solved sister :l John lovely to hear from you and glad you are well ? hang in there you are so close.

Hi to everyone else and trust you are all well, I?ve had a good weekend and I?m off for a bath and an early night with my kindle and some meditation. I introduced my little granddaughter to Maltesers (Mars) at the weekend and I?m getting grief from her parents ? any thoughts?

Dewdrop :h

[ladybirdheart]

Joyful June - Week 2

It seems in reading many of the posts here that emptiness is a factor that either draws people to consuming too much of all sorts of things in the first place or is a feeling that is left when we take those things away. Years and years ago an elderly Chinese friend of my late mother?s told me the ?Western? preoccupation with this seemed really silly to him as he was always trying to feel empty, I am not sure I understood it correctly but it was as if there would be a space there that would be filled instead with his true being or soul. I am sure I listened politely while downing a large pastrami on rye and a vat of gin and tonic:H. I guess it is a perspective worth working on. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

Joyful June - Week 2

No one noticed that I've been missing since Saturday night :H

A thunderstorm finally blew through here to break that nasty heat wave but it fried my router & I had no internet access until just now. The cable guy finally got here this morning & said you need to go to Walmart & buy yourself a new router ~ so I did

Jumping in on the discussion of feeling emptiness.........
I'm glad it's not just me!!!!! Yes, my spouse has hit the road but honestly he hasn't mentally been around since he turned 42 (he's 58 now). That's when I started filling up my emptyness with a vat of Chardonnay. And since I don't do that anymore the void is back. The grandkids have filled some of that space but there's still enough left to leave me feeling annoyed, at times

LBH, I keep watching the news about the fires & thinking of you!

Chill, in addition to wandering deer, I live amidst tons of spiders, the occasional black snake, lots of cute little toads & I can hear the two sheep next door (they get noisey but so do my hens) :H

John, congrats on your races - good job Buddy especially in this nasty, humid weather!

I hope everyone has a great Monday evening!
Lav

[Cassia]

Joyful June - Week 2

Hey all.

Sorry I have been a bit igcognito! Work has ramped up already and iwant to make a good impression so I have been working my butt off. I got some really positive feedback today from my boss so it's all going well. I feel confident in my job and know that I will be an asset to the organization. It makes such a difference from the last place where I was so stressed out all the time with no reward.

Got some bad news today. My hubby found a lump on my cat. They don't know if it is cancer, we have to keep an eye on it and if it becomes red or hot then it could mean big trouble. I am really upset because haven't seen him in a month and I will devastated if he can't come to the states. He's my wee pal. I hope everything is ok and my hubby will defo take good care of him.

So it's all go for everyone. I am very excited for my six months next week! Can hardly believe how quickly it has gone. I truly love being af...it just takes all the complications out of life.

Love you all.

Xx

[papmom3]

Joyful June - Week 2

Lav-that is not true! We thought you were still chasing EB! :H

LBH-thinking of you in the midst of those fires! Glad to see you post as that means you haven't had to evacuate yet.

Cass-keep on making those great impressions!! as far as your cat goes-I've had experience with lumps-one of my cats lost her tail to cancer later in her life (the amputation saved her life) and I can tell you it NEVER got hot or red so please tell your hubby to tell the vet to do a needle aspiration at the very least. My dog also has a lump in his chest and the aspiration came back negative for suspicious cells so I can rest easy that this is just a fatty lymphoma.

Emptyness: Yes, I do think it is the major reason why I fell into a bottle of PG every night. Think about it: Here I am finally in my fifties, no social life anymore as I've gained a ton of weight, haven't had a date in decades, work 2 to 3 jobs (well at least that isn't true anymore), I come home every night to my wonderful pets but there's definitely something missing plus I start a new job that I don't particularly like. I've always probably drunk too much but from 50 to 53 I definitely went over the top. Nothing much has changed except that I don't fill the emptyness with booze anymore. I shop, I come here, I try to read, I quilt. I used to do agility. Sniff. I think it's going to be a very long time before I can be comfortable with just being and not trying to fill up every second with things to do.

Dew-what are Mars????

Hope Chill is having a fabulous time at the Wayne Dyer event!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Rusty-so happy to hear your weekend went just great and that your sober aunt left you alone!! Yea!!

PaGuy-so good to hear from you!! Your running has really taken on a life of it's own hasn't it? So glad you're being very successful with it. I can't wait to get back to agility some day.

Have done OK with WW this week and tonite I did do a 20 min walk with doggie when I got home. The more I stay on track the easier it will be I'm sure.
Going to try to get to bed early tonite. I'm probably the ONLY person in all of New England NOT watching the Stanly Cup tonite. :H

[paguy]

Joyful June - Week 2

Hi Folks:

The 'emptiness' question is an interesting one. It sounds like several of us have been following the 'keeping busy' program lately; I know I have. For me, I think keeping busy is a way for me to stay focused on what I am trying to accomplish and remain AF. Perhaps, my fear is that if I had down time I would be vulnerable to thinking, 'Oh well, if I only had 1 drink, it wouldn't hurt.' I just don't want to go there because I know where it would lead me and it would destroy everything I've worked so hard to accomplish.

Emptiness, loneliness, lack of purpose, fear of facing my own demons? Where does it all start and end?

If I think about it long enough, it does seem to me that I am most fearful of having a lack of purpose in my life. I have always been very 'career oriented' and now that I am coming to the end of 20 year relationship with my employer, I need to replace that relationship with something else. Thus, I've focused on improving my fitness and health and that focus has driven alot of my behaviors. Not being a parent, it is hard for me to relate to raising children but I am wondering if what I've been feeling is any different than the 'empty nest syndrome'?

Hope everyone has a restful evening....