friday af daily 1 July

[bear73]

hey there - I drank last night wine with OH.
This is scaring me and i feel like i have more of a pull towards alcohol at the moment - 3 times in a week. I want more of it when i have it.

This stops now.Going to have a positive day - doing funding app, gym and massage then packing and prep for trip.Day 1 - for the last time here. Time to stop messing about - and thinking - maybe doing is what is needed. I have a real tendency to procrastinate in life.

Team member seriously ill and posted on wall today - made me think why am I trying to mess myself/health/life up when I know I am happier AF.
JFDI. (just f***ing do it)

[Marshy]

friday af daily 1 July

Hello abbers!

Bear, Spiritual River has lots of good advice about ACTION. Spiritual River | How to Stop Drinking Alcohol and Get the Addiction Help You Need

July already! I feel for all of you who don't want to join in the raucous festivities of July 4th. I don't like those occasions when everyone else thinks you should be out celebrating (drinking) like New Year's Eve.

Thank you all for the good wishes about my mum yesterday. What a great bunch you are. Dad says she's improved a little over the past couple of days that she's been on a higher dose of steroids. (I had to come back to London to go back to work, although my boss is being great about me taking time off at the drop of a hat to go and see mum when I want to). She's sleeping better and other things have improved a bit although she's still confused a lot of the time. Hopefully that will slowly get better as the steroids take effect.

As for the drinking thoughts - I know it will happen and I know it would be madness to follow through on them. My mum was always very supportive about me giving up and drinking and she would want me to be healthy.

DG- if I knew how to work ebay I'd have a look at the condom tin (don't think I'd bid though :H). How funny that it's so sought after.

Right, I've got a few things to sort out before work later (including arranging for the window replacements - builder's dust, ugh) that I've needed to do for a while but haven't been able to sort out - feel like I've been holding my breath about mum and now there's a slight improvement I can concentrate on a few other things.

Have a good day all.

[Doggygirl]

friday af daily 1 July

Top o' the morning (or afternoon, or evening) fABbies! Condom tin update: $510 with 3 days to go. :H or :egad: - not sure which! Marshy, if this link works, you will be saying $510??????? for THAT?????? (which is what I am saying!) Antique Condom Tin - Shield Brand Exceptional Quality | eBay

P3 - awesome news on the doggy save!!! I do think there is cosmic purpose to our lives. I have no idea exactly how it works, but I'm sure you were *supposed* to be there for that little doggy yesterday. You ROCK P3!

Lav - so glad your family helped you have a good day yesterday. Sounds like your new bedroom is coming right along! What color are you painting it? (my apologies if that was discussed and I missed it!)

Kaz - another gorgeous photo of your flowers!

Det - Pig-o-rama!!! I'm glad you are feeding yourself well. Much much better than the alternative.

Greenie, so happy for you that the boundary setting is going so well.

Here is a hearty :b&d: for any H's, FH's, YB's, XBF's, etc. who need one.

Bear, I hope you find a way to stop the madness. When I read your post it just made me think of how it felt in 2007 when I relapsed, realized my mistake, and just couldn't get in the groove to stop it for more than a few AF days at a time until 2008. I guess I needed to go through that just so I understood CLEARLY how dangerous a relapse really is for me. It's not like I can drink today, and just hop right back on the wagon tomorrow. It's just not that simple. Learning that lessont he hard way was necessary for me I think. Maybe for you too. I hope you manage to reign it in a lot sooner than I did. Were you out with OH? Or drinking in your house?

Marshy, I'm so glad to hear your Mom is feeling a bit better. It's awesome that your boss is understanding about your need to travel back and forth as the situation evolves. ((((Marshy)))) What have you decided about Greece?

What needs to be reigned in around here is my EATING. Sugar on, sugar off. I'm sick of it. I joined a challenge in the fitness section for July - clean eating, more moving, no drinking challenge - something along those lines. So I set my July goals and I'm in. One day at a time I'm determined to make it a sugar free month. The rest of my goals are a piece of cake if I can manage that one sugar thing.

I ordered a couple of 2 piece bathing suits (well, BIKINIS :H) for Turks and Caicos next February. I have some work to do for that to be appropriate!

Well, since alcohol is "the jet fuel of sugars" I will not be drinking any of that today. I'm going to try out my Belly Butt and Thighs DVD which is still in it's box, and also try to get in 20,000 Steps today. That aught to keep me out of trouble!

Hello to any fABbies I missed yesterday, and all yet to come.

DG

[Marshy]

friday af daily 1 July

DG - I had a look! Amazing it's worth so much. How funny.
The Greece thing: we're due to fly next Thursday so I don't have to make a decision until the boarding gate I suppose. I've spoken to my family about it and they are happy for me to go, including mum as much as she understood at the time, I think. I've looked into how we can back in an emergency and it won't be that easy - there's only one flight a week back to the UK from the island we're staying on but there are flights to other European countries on different days so we could get a flight to Paris or Amsterdam and get back from there. Or there's a ferry from the island to Athens and we could get a flight back from there but the ferry takes 12 hours so it's not the quickest option. It all depends on how mum is and whether she improves over the next week.

Lav - nice to read that you had your family around you on a difficult day. Is your daughter as mystified/surprised by the whole YB situation as you?

[momof3]

friday af daily 1 July

Good Morning All,

Marshy :lSorry to hear about your mom. Sometimes the medications (especially a mixture of them) can really cause confusion, anger, etc., especially in older people. My mother-in-law was recently treated with steroids for pneumonia and it made her incredibly disoriented and mean (she has a tendency to be grumpy and mean anyhow but this was extreme). Once she was feeling better and off the steroids, she didn't remember what she said or did (or at least that she was telling us). My heart goes out to you. I went through my dad's terminal illness and it was an incredibly stressful and sad time. Hang in there my friend, stay strong, and draw on the love and strenth of XNGF. Your dilemma with Greece reminds me that all we have is the present moment. I hope you are able to go and enjoy it as much as you can during a time such as this.

Bear, Relapses are scary because we never know when/how we are going to be able to regain control. In my experience, I found that the more relapses I had, the harder it was to get back on the wagon. When I quit, I honestly did not know I had another one in me so I vowed "never again." How did you happen to have a bottle of wine with OH last night BTW? Did you go out? Was there wine in the house? I hope you can put your big girl bad ass roller derby pants on and stop messing with the devil.

Greenie, I read your story about ticks, dust, and construction and it gave me the heebie jeebies! I have pulled several ticks off of my girls this summer already. One is on antibiotics as a preventative measure against Lyme. I found one in her head and it was already pretty big. My memories of construction and disarray are still strong in my mind so I can really feel for you. It is very disruptive to the mind and spirit. I hope it is all over soon. Also, good for you for keeping boundaries with Ex#2...not easy I know. Hmmm Ex #1...is there romance rekindling there?

DG, I am having struggles with sugar too. Especially in the evening and first thing in the morning. Why do you think that is? I should get the book that Sheri suggested on the thyroid thread. Seems like I might gain some insight there.

I injured (or should I say re-injured) my back this morning getting out of the car to go to yoga. It has been on the edge for awhile and just a little twist did the trick and brought me to my knees. I'm in bed now with a heating pad. Hoping to get in to see my doc later today.

Det. I LOVE sunflowers. They make me feel happy. I planted several Mammoth sunflower seeds in the garden to the side of our house. Hoping they get huge.

P3....Here she comes, to save the day! Good rescue of the little lost dog. So many would have driven by and who knows what would have happened?

M3

[momof3]

friday af daily 1 July

Double post. How did I do that?

[Lavande]

friday af daily 1 July

Good mid-morning Abbers!

So many distractions already this morning :H

bear, I'm sorry that you continue to choose AL this week when you say you don't want to drink. What do you think you need to do to take that final leap into an AF life?

Marshy, after years of taking care of my Dad at home I finally had no choice but to move him into a nursing home. He needed 24 hr attention that I just could not give. After he was settled in there I went ahead & left on my 10 day trip to Germany, a river boat tour. I talked to his doctor ahead of time to make sure he understood my Dad's wishes, my Dad had become very confused. Unfortunately my Dad passed away 2 days before I got home but I knew that his wishes were fulfilled & he was well taken care of. My presence wouldn't have made any difference, one way or the other. That trip by the way was the one I planned for my 25th wedding anniversary but YB suddenly, without warning refused to go! I was so angry & hurt I took a girl friend & went on the trip anyway I hope your Mom continues to improve so that you are able to go 7 enjoy your trip. And yes, my daughter is as mystified as I am about YB's behavior!

DG, I may have to borrow that whip of yours......I am beginning to feel the need to lash out here if you know what I mean :H

M3, so sorry about your back. I hope your Doc helps yo out. That sounds like a muscle issue am I right? Feel better soon :l

I really need to get busy around here, my doga are starving!!!

Lav

[LVT25]

friday af daily 1 July

Hello friends,

A really quick post this morning as I need to head to work to patch a road at the cemetery that washed out on me yesterday evening. If you don't hear from me again, I probably fell into a big deep hole with my tractor! :H

Just wanted to comment on Det's sunflower pics. A few farmers around here grow them and I LOVE them! When their heads get big, they follow the sun. It is just beautiful and I am in awe when I see a big field of them. I wish we grew them on our farm!
I have planted some ornamental sunflowers in the past, but the next year I end up with a bunch of weeds so I quit. I might try it again though--might be something to fill the big empty space in the monster garden.

Have a great sober day all! (That means you too Bear!) :h

[AAthlete]

friday af daily 1 July

Morning guys and happy Friday to all. Bear, I won't pile on, but agree with others that it gets harder and harder to quit each time, and that ability should never, ever be taken for granted....

Headed back to Nebraska today with my son for our annual guys 4th of July trip (back to see my family). He loves it because fireworks are legal unlike here, so he saves up his allowance for that. Course he also loves to see Gma!

M3, so sorry to hear about your back! Funny how you can kind of sense those things coming, isn't it? Marshy, glad your Mom is doing better and I really hope that you get to take your trip - you deserve it!

Had a weird drinking dream last night, but it was funny because I remember starting to wake up and thinking "this is a stupid dream - I haven't drank for over four years!" Funny how our brains work!

[momof3]

friday af daily 1 July

Back again for a quick visit.

Lav...yes my back is muscular.

AA, I knew I was headed for disaster with my back but kept pressing on...ahhh more learning and re-learning. Have fun with the fireworks and the noise with your son. Sounds like good father and son bonding!!! How old is he now? Also, if you don't mind me asking, you mentioned that you went through a divorce? Was that recent or a past marriage?

Bear, AA has some wise words...the ability to quit and stay quit gets harder and harder and we should never take it for granted. It is scary, baffling, and powerful this addiction to alcohol.

Lav, Your story about YB and the trip to Germany made me appreciate how long his struggle (and your struggle with him) has been going on. Sorry he is being a dick head of late but that is his choice to remain that way or to work his way out of it. I hope you are able to find some peace and joy regardless of where he is in his life.

LVT...watch out for those potholes. Hope all is well with you and please let me know if you come around to DC again. Please leave some room in your schedule for me so you can get a private tour of some really cool things that many tourists don't see.

After reading all of these posts about sunflowers, I just had my girls go outside to water them. If they bloom, I would like to mail all of you some seeds in the fall. We can start a sunflower crop across the country next Summer!!

M3

[Doggygirl]

friday af daily 1 July

Hi again fabbies! Just finished a long walk with a tad of running thrown in. 13,000 steps total which should be somewhere around 10K (maybe a tad shy of it). I jogged (ran!) for more than a mile but less than 1.5 miles. I wasn't planning to jog but the spirit moved me. Now I wish the spirit would move me to sort out some boxes in my basement and get rid of some crap. :H I like having my pedometer on - it really does motivate me to walk more throughout the day. And do some of that stuff that is always recommended - park farther away in the lot, take the stairs, etc. This pedometer rewards me with Weight Watchers activity points. It's like getting gold stars or something. :H

M3 - I am so sorry about your back!!!!! I'm glad you are resting it and hope your doc can get you in. I think there are so many things that can cause sugar cravings. Some stuff I read and end up shaking my head - can't really relate to that. Then I will read something that DOES seem to resonate. (but I'm not sure if what seems to resonate is what's medically correct!) A book I read recently that I found interesting is "The End of Overeating" by David A. Kessler, MD. He used to be a FDA Commissioner. He writes about processed foods, and how the industry really does conspire to create foods that are addictive in nature. He references a lot of studies with rats that make sense - totally mirrors my own behavior once I get started with addictive substances. For me, I suspect it's the addictive qualities and similarity to AL more than it is related to blood sugar problems - which I believe can cause a lot of cravings too. (and I'm sure other conditions as well) I too noted the book Sheri mentioned and I want to read it. I don't have issues with morning cravings typically, but LOOK OUT in the middle of the afternoon! And just like with AL, once I get started it's hard if not impossible to stop. Wow - I love the idea of a bunch of sunflower crops all over the place started from your seeds!!!!!

Marshy - I really hope you are able to not only go on your vacation, but manage to relax and enjoy yourself. I think it's good that you are figuring out your "get home" strategies. If nothing else that will give you peace of mind!

Awe Lav. I'm glad you went on that wonderful trip with a gal pal rather than cancelling. I'm handing you the :b&d: and I hope you USE IT!!!!!

LVT - you know how to patch roads????? WOW. One of our dog training friends is extremely self sufficient in that sort of way and Mr. Doggy fondly calls her the Prairie Woman. I think you win the award as MWO's Prairie Woman!!!!!

AA - your trip with your son sounds really fun. Travel safely!

One thing is for sure....

DG

[Kaslo]

friday af daily 1 July

Good morning Absters, wrote a long post and poof, again. keeps happening to me. Anyway, I wish you all a great summer day. Bear, I liked the thread that Marshy posted, well worth a read. Marshy hope you get to someplace comfortable with your mom before you go. I had a relevant experience, but I dont want to get too advicey... ha ha. M3 thats not good about your back, and I hope its resolved soon. DG visited your auction site, what a hoot! Lav, I would like to send my DH of with yours to some azalian mountain range. AA have fun with your son, it sounds like a great time to me. I will be spending the day at work but not all of it. Hope to finish soon and get into the pool and garden a bit toward the end of the day. Here is a shot from Mexico, from several years ago. For how I feel this fine morning.

[Bean]

friday af daily 1 July

Top of the morning to you all!!

I am full of the joys to not be hungover and it's my first Canada day (I'm a Brit abroad) and the most BEAUTIFUL day here (right Kas? Kaslo and I only live about 30 mins from each other. When the weather is good it truly is one of the most stunning places on earth thought lately it has been rain-cloud-rain-sun-rain-rain-cloud-thunderclap-rain on a roughly 5 minute cycle!).

Bear, I am sorry you are struggling. I often found the frustration at myself for saying one thing and then doing the complete opposite more awful than the hangovers because it made me feel so powerless. I can't offer much in the way of advice since I'm an AF neonate myself but I did read an amazing post by Photoman in the Meds section yesterday.

Don't even know why I went there as I don't take meds but he wrote a few things that really resonated with me. The comment that really stood out was how he cringes when he hears people being mainly AF but having a drink here and there, because it keeps the connection to AL alive. That rings so true for me and I think I can understand how you're feeling this week. Drinking seems to provoke the desire for more and not just in the immediate moment but for the few days following, as if your body remembers so then it craves. Sometimes it's about gritting your teeth to get through that bit and and then being able to properly start being AF. When you feel a bit crappy and low, physically and mentally because of drinking, it's easier to think you may as well have more but when you string a few AF days together and feel so much better, I find I am WAY less compelled to drink because I like the feeling of being healthy and happy.

Maybe you're not quite done yet? You know you 'should' quit but for some/many reasons, you just don't want to/can't...? Again, I have no idea how or why the resolve and commitment appear. It's a personal journey for everyone. I hope it happens for/to you soon.

Everyone else....keep on truckin'!
This July 1st will only come round once in our lifetimes. Let's make it a good and sober one.
Bean

[Doggygirl]

friday af daily 1 July

Kas, another fabulous piccy! Enjoying the pool sounds GREAT. Wish I could be an uninvited guest today for that!

Bean, you sound terrific today! Enjoy this moment for sure!! I saw the post you are referring to and I almost replied to it. I thought it was awesome as well and I could totally relate to quite a bit of it, even though I don't take meds either.

Well, off to the library. Something I would have been in NO shape to do in the old days mid afternoon on Friday. (Friday starting a holiday weekend??? I would have been passed out for the first time today already!)

One thing is for sure..

DG

[Bean]

friday af daily 1 July

Oh, I KEEP meaning to ask Lav (but anyone else as you all seem to know), what on earth does 'YB' stand for? I know it's your (ex) husband Lav but can't for the life of me figure it out and it's been bugging me. I don't need another excuse to drink... Ha ha. Just kidding.