monday 11 July

[bear73]

Hey all - i had BAD drinking thoughts last night - at party - people drinking lots of wine and cava .People were talking of how much fun they'd had out drinking at weekend,how mutual friend who had quit for a long time was drinking again,what a great night etc etc.
Group bonding etc etc I had a lovely time tho without alcohol - didn't feel left out and was laughing lots.Felt bit insecure when there was talk of someone i have rift with being there the other night being really friendly to my friend (my old issues of insecurity).

So I bought a bottle of white wine - BUT on way home thought - I don't want to drink - I'm caught up in the fake glamour of it all - remember how it went last time - combined with - just have one - how do i know if i really have a problem - maybe i could control it once a month etc etc.

So i didn't drink - I remember the smart stuff that says you have so many opportunities not to drink when you are tempted - from buying it - opening bottle - pouring it - taking it to your mouth. It worked - feel really shaken BUT it's a wake up call.
Today I am really glad I didn't drink.

[AAthlete]

monday 11 July

Bear, glad to hear that you thought through the process and realized what taking that first drink would do to you (and where it would lead). We have to remember that we are not like others when it comes to drinking, and that is just the cold, hard facts. Their weekend fun of drinking is not something that is possible for me, just as a fantastic meal at a seafood house is not possible for someone who is allergic to shellfish....

Now, the next questions is - did you get rid of the bottle of wine or is it still sitting around somewhere?

Whew - back from a 1 1/2 week vacation and man is it challenging to get back into the swing of things! Hate to admit it, but it was nice to be away from all the drama and petty issues at work and home - but I guess that is why they call it vacation! Really makes you appreciate getting away from it all though.....

Morning to all, and happy Monday!

[Doggygirl]

monday 11 July

Hi Bear. I too am glad you didn't drink! Did you throw away (or rid yourself some other way) of the bottle of wine you bought? I think a real advantage of not keeping any AL at home is precisely as you said - when it's not "right there" we have to go through multiple steps, and have more potential stopping points. Sounds like the new team is going to be fun. I am learning to accept that in larger groups of people, I will not like everyone and everyone will not like me. That doesn't have to be a crisis or a reason not to be part of things. That's just life. I have to like me - that's what matters.

I posted some stuff this morning at the tail end of yesterdays thread but also wanted to add a shout out to TDN!!! So glad you are staying focused and making the most of your time in rehab. I hope you learn lots that will help you on your journey once you get home.

WE NEED RAIN!! I can't believe how extreme the weather has been this year in temperature and wetness. We were flooded out a month ago, and now dry as a bone. It didn't drop below 80 last night so a brutal summer day is in the making. I hope it brings thunderstorms and RAIN!

The events of the weekend pertaining to my stinkin' thinkin' are in sharp focus in my head. Observations / lessons:

1) AL is SNEAKY!!!
2) For problem drinkers, the "fun" is very short lived and then the problems/consequences begin.
3) Very very good people (the trainer is a very good man in his heart) do really crappy things when they are drunk. That was quite a look in the mirror.
4) Excessive drinking (which is the only kind of drinking I am capable of) puts all our stuff at risk - family relationships, friend relationships, the priviledge of having a drivers license, everything.
5) I had to take Mr. Doggy to the emergency room last night. (everything is fine) I suppose it's not accident I got that big reminder about the importance of being sober in the same weekend all those other reminders came along.
6) As a side bar to the events yesterday, Mr. Doggy mentioned something that happened a long time ago (more than 3 years LOL) and I had NO RECOLLECTION of it. And I reverted to that age old behavior of dodging and darting and trying to figure out what it was I forgot without saying I forgot. CRAZY. Insanity indeed. I'm sure glad I dont' live like that any more.

I would say that if my head was drifting in a bad direction, it is certainly not any more. I TREASURE my sobriety!

One thing is for sure..

DG

[Doggygirl]

monday 11 July

X-Post AA! Great minds think alike on the disposition of the bottle. So glad to hear you had a nice relaxing vacation - truly away from the day to day stuff of life!

DG

[Lavande]

monday 11 July

Good morning Abbers!

bear, glad to hear you thought things through & didn't drink! Now get rid of that bottle of wine. I haven't had a drop in my house since i quit & that's a good thing!!

Good morning AA! Returning to life & work after vacation was always a bummer for me. Somehow by the end of the week you just seem to be back in the swing of things though

DG, hot & humid here, ugh. Heatwave #4 is underway
Grateful for the AC of course but hiding in the house is not the way you should spend the summer, you know?

Time to get my animals fed & figure out what I doing today
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Monday!

BTW - the garage snake was not visible yesterday when YB was here yesterday. I don't think he looked too long for it either. Maybe it slid out the same way it got in - kind of YB-like

Lav

[Doggygirl]

monday 11 July

Lavande;1145397 wrote: DG, hot & humid here, ugh. Heatwave #4 is underway
Grateful for the AC of course but hiding in the house is not the way you should spend the summer, you know?

I was just saying to Mr. D yesterday that WE WUZROBBED of any really NICE weather this spring/summer. I think I can count the number of really glorious spring / early summer days on one hand. And I wouldn't need all my fingers! Mother Nature is whipping up a wild one outside at this moment. I hope 1) our power stays on and 2) some actual rain comes with all the bluster.


BTW - the garage snake was not visible yesterday when YB was here yesterday. I don't think he looked too long for it either. Maybe it slid out the same way it got in - kind of YB-like

So YB made an appearance? WHERE THE SAM HILL ARE THE DETAILS!!!! Did you :b&d: him?

DG

[momof3]

monday 11 July

Good Morning All,

DG, Great insights on alcohol and lessons learned!!

AA welcome back from you vacation.

Lav, No snake in the pie for YB, huh?

Bear, WTF were you doing at a party with people who were drinking (one of the biggest triggers there is)? It's good that you did not drink the wine but why did you put yourself in that situation in the first place? I know this sounds harsh but it honestly it doesn't seem like you're really even trying.

Lav and DG. Temp here tomorrow is going to be 100 but that is not all that unusal for the Washington DC area. But, this kind of weather doesn't usually show up until August and we've already had 3 or 4 100+ days this summer. Hate to see what August is going to be like.

Off to get more work done on my back today. I'm hoping it works out the last few kinks. I want to get back to working out.

Jenny, in yesterday's thread you asked how others celebrate when they don't drink alcohol. One of the most significant things I did was to first turn my thinking around. That is, I worked hard to not think about alcohol as a reward. Rather, I would say, why would I want to poison myself after all of the good things I've done today? Here are some AF things I do to celebrate:

Have a pedicure
Take a really nice bath scented with lavendar oil.
Make myself a really cool and refreshing fizzy drink. Cranberry juice w/ seltzer and a twist of lime is one of my favorites.
Go window shopping
Treat myself to a nice dessert at a small cafe
Go to the movies or watch a movie on Netflix
Take a yoga class

Also, one of the things I did early on was to put the money I would normally spend on alcohol aside every week. They I would take that money and from time time spend it on something like a pedicure or a massage.

[Bean]

monday 11 July

Hi everyone

I just want to say how much I appreciate the comments and support re my latest decisions to try moderating. At this point I have no idea how it will go but I want to give it a shot. If nothing else, I was getting frustrated with inwardly not being 100% committed to being AF and therefore not feeling that I want to call every drinking episode a 'relapse' but still coming here to the AF thread! I have worked very hard this last year to rid myself of guilt and remorse around drinking and right now am in a good place with it.

I do intend to be mostly AF as I really enjoy all the benefits that have been documented so many times on these pages. But I would like to think that I can choose the way I behave around AL from now on. It may be that I just decide to be AF anyway but my intention is for that decision to come from an empowered place, because I know it is the best thing for me and my health, rather than because I feel powerless which leads to 'deprivation' thinking and then to drinking.

And...if I am just here coiling up a very long rope with which to hang myself, I guess I'll find out soon enough! I'll continue reading here as I always find much food for thought and who knows? Maybe I'll be back soon.
All for now.
Bean

[Determinator]

monday 11 July

Zooming... be well AFers xxxx

[mario]

monday 11 July

Havent been around much lately all of a sudden I am getting more work than I can hope for,hope it keeps coming,hope you are all good and well.

[bear73]

monday 11 July

hey all - thanks for input.

Wine is going off for birthday gift to someone!

I know AA approach says to stay away from alcohol in early stages but smart and rational recovery doesn't - this was a small house party of abut 15 people not a huge boozy do - quite a sedate affair really,it's just alcohol was there as it would have been had I gone out for food - there was food as well.

Trying to find my way and pleased I didn't drink and I am more vigilant as a result.

[Doggygirl]

monday 11 July

M3 - I hope your back is feeling much better by now with ALL kinks removed!

Bean, on that "powerless" thing. When it comes to AL, if I drink it, I AM powerless in the sense that I cannot fully control what happens next. Maybe by some miracle, I would only have a few (I've NEVER had one, so I'm sure that wouldn't happen1). Maybe there would be no bad consequences. This time. Problem is, it's a crap shoot. I cannot fully control my AL consumption in a reliable fashion. (for me, it's remarkably UNreliable!) That doesn't make me a powerless or helpless person. It makes my willingness to see that I AM powerless in that regard a wise thing. And my choice not to drink AL and take a risk a wise thing.

Admission of powerlessness is not a bad thing. At least it's not for me WRT AL. In fact for me, it's an honest thing and a very good thing. (I was stuck on the whole "powerless" word for YEARS and that helped keep me stuck in active alcholism....)

Anyway...I'll shut up now.

Hey Det! Are you making movies today?

Mario - what kind of work do you do? (probably already asked and ansered a million times, but I missed it! Or forgot it!) Good in these economic times that you are busy! What a blessing.

Bear, I guess you will have to figure out what does and doesn't work for you to stay sober. That is what matters in the end.

Mr. Doggy still not feeling well today. He had hoped for a day of mainly rest. A PIA guy at one of our biggest customers insisted Mr. D make a road trip.....get this....because he forgot his password. ull He could not take another pain pill before driving, and is hoping the pain is not so bad he cannot drive home. Oy. So I am staying close to the phone in case I need to make the road trip to fetch him. Another good reason to be sober. You can bet I would NOT have been at this time of day a handful of years ago.

DG

[jennyneric]

monday 11 July

Hi all! thanks for the responses!

OK last night around 10 my mother in law calls and tells Eric that his cousin and her children just got here from Roswell, NM. Eric says OK I'm getting in my car and coming over. He had already drank a 6 pack (his norm) and my son wanted to go also. I said call me when you get there. I was mad, but I tried to be diplomatic. So I went to bed, I had to work the next day, and woke up at 1:30 and they were not home. I called and my son said "daddy said we're staying the night" so I asked to talk to Eric, You could here him singing and talking loud in the background. So he gets on the phone, says he's to trashed to drink and that they were staying the night. This made me so mad I didn't sleep much the rest of the night. I guess they got home around noon today. I saw on the bank card he stopped and got gas and a 12 pack. What I want to know is what did he think was going to happen if you drink 18 beers in a night! Of course he couldn't drive HELLO!

Questions: Should I be angry? With the incident at bosses house 8 1/2 weeks ago should I just try and ignore it? Further more why am I angry? I know I'm angry but really why? Him not coming home makes me mad, the fact that he just didn't wait till today makes me mad, the fact that he seamed surprised that he couldn't drive makes me mad, but really do I have an argument? The other things are the fact that I do not like his mother, his sister, or this cousin and he went to see them at such an odd hour makes me angry and the loss of control of the situation makes me angry. But I really feel that all that has way more to do with me than him. Thoughts?

All I can think is revenge and turn about is fair play. That's not good either!

[ThreeDogNight]

monday 11 July

Rehab Day 7

Still doing well and focusing on staying strong and positive. I am noticing that some people here are not coming to the groups or are cutting out early, etc. Some have gone to half days. All are on some kind of meds, but I am feeling great taking all of my supplements and drinking tons of water. Walking for an hour at 6:30 a.m. and also walking everywhere I can. Can't get to an AA meeting tonight, as it isn't within walking distance, and the two women who have cars arn't going. But we do a lot of talking together while we sit outside and eat dinner, and that helps.
I'll keep posting.
Thanks for the support!

TDN

[greeneyes]

monday 11 July

TDN, you are shining!! I'm thinking you can call a local AA phone # and someone will come pick you up?

Jen, everything else aside... who you like/don't like, that night at bosses (that's in the past - leave it there), that he got home at noon (would 9 have made a difference? prolly not), etc. the one thing that really stands out is he put your son in the car with him and drove off after drinking a 6 pack. Only you can decide whether to be angry or not - knowing that you can't control what his behavior. However I do think you could and should exercise some control over whether your son gets in the car with him under those circumstances.

DG, PIA indeed! Hope he is well compensated for it.

bean and bear I sort of get what you're saying about your relationship with AL. My brain doesn't want to engage in that right now beyond simply saying beware. And like det said, know thyself. That means the lying alcoholic part too.

M3 hope you are unkinked. The fizzy drink and cafe desert (with a nice hot tea) ring my reward bell too.

Lav, the little pic for todays weather was reddish orange and the word HOT. :H

I can't see page from here so I'll have to come back.