AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

[Treya]

Treya ? Congrats. That is really an accomplishment. I don?t think I am quite ready for the temptation of being around others that are drinking.

Hi Abbers,
T.O.T.M. to you all
I was just thinking yesterday how dependency is slightly different for all of us.
For some the initial few hours/ weeks/days are really taxing. For others it's the middle -when you've gotten through the rough stuff and the seeds of doubt creep in - and for others still it's having gotten throug the first few months and staying sober that's the hardest.
For me, initial stopping has never been that hard but it's sustaining the sobriety that I haven't cracked (YET!)
I guess that's why there's a wise saying "Anyone can stop drinking. Staying stopped is another story."
But somehow this time I feel different. I'm ready for the attacks of the vapours, the "Do I really want this enough?" conversations that I'm prone to have with myself. I'm ready for the "You're not DRINKING?" comments I get from 'friends' who look at me as if I've just come of the space shuttle. I'm ready for the "I've had enough of this sobriety crap" after a few months when I've had a bad day. I'm sick of those negative thoughts.
I know the thoughts will come. I am ready and I'll deal with them as they arise, neither judging them or myself for having them. The witness in me will observe them and let them go. No matter how tough the day is-it is only a day and everything passes. I will let the drama pass and I'll remain sober, with hope, getting stronger and stronger by the day.
Have a wonderful day abstainers!
Treya

[ItsJustMe]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Good Mornin? Treya ?

Your post this morning is extremely insightful and one I can strongly relate to. So far I?m doing pretty good. I still have cravings at the witching hour but they are manageable. Using some of the techniques I have gained from the ?elders? on this board (I said that on purpose to get a rise out of a few choice people? oke: ) I am pretty much able to get past it all. However, I do worry about the future. I have a very stressful job. I?m worried about that day where I make a huge technical mistake or decision that ends up going sour. It?s those times that I see myself going into self destruct mode and when I will be most vulnerable. Right now, my mind is telling me I don?t need a drink. What happens when my mind is occupied with worrying about something else? Hopefully by that time, not drinking will be a habit.

Question for our gang that has been AF for a while ? Do you still constantly have to be thinking about keeping AF, or does it just become habit. In other words, I don?t worry about me eating dog crap out of the yard. I never even think about it. (Actually comparing dog crap to Al is pretty good! :H ). But, will I one day be that way with Al ? the thought will just never occur to me and I can be normal like everyone else?

Ok, that was a pretty heavy subject for so early in the morning.

Greenie ? what you are doing sounds dangerously close to a remodel ? just without moving things around! I know you have to be glad it has come to an end.

M3 ? I am waiting at the foot of my driveway with my suitcase waiting for you to pick me up ? so hurry! A trip to the beach is just what I need!

DG ? have fun at lunch. If he is buying go someplace expensive. If you are paying or going ?dutch? then get a happy meal at the golden arches!

Good day to all the gang that checks in today. I will try to check back in at lunch to see what everyone is up to.

What post would be complete without the IJM thought of the day?..
How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

IJM

[AAthlete]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Morning guys, and thanks for getting us started. Treya and IJM - you both posted some pretty insightful comments about what it takes to get AND stay sober. Found an interesting article yesterday on CNN that attempts to address the thought process we go through when we're drinking...

Addiction: The disease that lies – The Chart - CNN.com Blogs

ITM, to answer your question, it really does become a habit in time. I no longer have thoughts about drinking, even when stressful situations arise in my life. I've put together a toolbox that I can pull from to handle pretty much any situation (assuming I am willing to actually use those tools, which is sometimes the hardest part). In a nutshell, it all involves having a plan of action to deal with stressful situations that come up (and they will come up), and as Treya mentioned it can even be handling comments about not drinking. It can be exercise, meditation, having a 'I'm not drinking because line ready, calling a sponsor, going to a meeting, etc. - but the one thing they all have in common is that they involve a plan of action. Sitting on our hands and wishing it away never works, right?

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

[Lavande]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Good morning Abbers!

Thanks for waking us up Treya
Keep ignoring the mind chatter & you will get stronger each day!

IJM, as one of the official 29 year olds......I will tell you that NOT drinking did become a new habit for me. When something stresses me out these days I don't automatically think I Need a Drink!!! I think the trick is to hang in there long enough for the new habit to form & become ingrained in your thinking

M3, my daughter & I talked about go to Rehoboth Beach for a few days but never got around to making reservations. Now we're hoping to go to the mountains for a few days maybe in September. All depends on who is available for animal care here Hope you have a great time.

I have an appointment an hour away from here so I need to get going. Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[universal]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Morning all!

I am not far along enough in my sobriety to be able to answer that question, however I do have a tool box and start my day with morning meditation asking for the compulsion to drink to be removed out of my thoughts for the day. I am finding that helps.

I am back at my trailer - heaven!!!! Supposed to be hot so I will be lounging by the pool with my water and a book.

Check in later!

[Treya]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

However, I do worry about the future. I have a very stressful job. I’m worried about that day where I make a huge technical mistake or decision that ends up going sour. It’s those times that I see myself going into self destruct mode and when I will be most vulnerable. Right now, my mind is telling me I don’t need a drink. What happens when my mind is occupied with worrying about something else? Hopefully by that time, not drinking will be a habit.

Hi It's just me,
I know where you are coming from too. I too have been in stressful jobs and like most who drink, have drunk more at stressful times. Many of us are actually not fighting the stress per se, but the difficult emotions that accompany the stress. Mostly we don't know how to deal with those feelings, such as anxiety, fear, guilt -whatever it is that makes the stress ten times as bad as it needs to be and so we head for the wine bottle which temprarily numbs the fear. My husband has had a very demanding job for most of his life and he deals with stress as if he was born to it. I am absolutely convinced it's because he deals with the problem at hand -minus the emotions! He doesn't add emotions to the equation. He looks at the problem objectively and uses his creative problem solving skills to sort it out.
I believe we can all do that because as human beings we are endlessly creative when we remove other needless distractions like worry and fear. At the back of your anxiety there may be specific fear that you could name - such as being judged as not good enough, (one of my own favourites from the past) It might be helpful to think about what it is you specifically fear and bring it out into the open -the only place you can deal with it. Then use your rationality to take the fear to bits.
Remember that you are human -not perfect -but just a normal human being who is doing your best is a sometimes difficult world. Be kind to yourself and trust that you have the skills to cope with whatever life throws at you minus the booze.
Sorry if I'm being rambling on. That's the mood I find myself in today!! lol!
T

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Hi fABbies! Waiting for the insurance lady to call to hopefully get our health insurance settled for the next year. What an expensive pain in the ass this is. At this point, I just hope she ends up CALLING so I can get this wrapped up. These documents seem to be written in a different language.

Treya, thanks for kick starting us this morning with great food for thought. Fear is a huge driver for me too. Had to first stop drinking in order to then figure out a different way of handling it.

IJM, I used to be the biggest worry wart alive and can still catch myself heading in that direction at times. When you think about it, what does "worry" actually accomplish? NOTHING. It's NOT an action item! Mr. Doggy said to me one day (my aha moment) "Worrying is something to do to make yourself believe you are doing something about something, when in fact you are not." If I have done all the real action I can about something, then I need to mentally move on.

I do not think about drinking in response to stress any more. No guarantees it wont' happen at some point, and I have the action tools in place that AA mentioned. These days when I have a drinking thought, it's way more random. Like something is mis-firing in my noggin'. I know I must remain vigilent though. My last episode of strange thoughts about drinking involved a strong urge (stayed on my mind for more than a day off and on) to buy and drink some O'Douls. That is just not something I have done in a long long time, and I recognized that as stinkin' thinkin'.

Bottom line? Yes, for me it got WAY easier after a year or so AF. BUT...am I normal??? No. I am an alcoholic and as such, my brain will suggest a drink to me from time to time. I must be prepared for that with an action plan. I am no longer worried and fearful about that. It's just a fact of my life.

AA - I liked that article - thanks for linking it.

Uni, I wish I was with YOU today!!!

M3 - Then I wish I was going to the beach with you right after that!!

Lav - then when I get back from the beach with M3 I will just go to the mountains with you and your daughter!

It's like a travel agency here. With popcorn.

Well, I need to find out what is going on with my insurance lady.

One thing is for sure..

DG

[Marshy]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Hello Treya (I missed your arrival - are you in UK/Ireland?), IJM, AA, Lav, Uni (good to hear you're doing well), DG (congrats on going back to education! That's great), and all to come.

I haven't caught up with everyone's goings on yet, but from yesterday:

Greenie, stingy with travel pix? The cheek! The food was... lots of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on many things... peppers and tomatoes stuffed with rice and veg... something called "wild greens" in English on the menu - vegetable I didn't recognise (a bit spinachy) which was steamed and dressed in olive oil and lemon juice, that was delicious... salads with huge tomatoes and feta, the best fresh tomato sauce I've ever had on pasta... my girlfriend loved the lamb chops and chicken skewers (I don't eat meat). And we had a starter in one place of thinly sliced cucumber, garlic, lemon and oil that was amazing. Ice cream for afters or warm walnut pie or slices of watermelon. On the way to the beach every day we called in at the baker's for cheese pastries, bought huge, sweet nectarines and peaches at the fruit shop and a big bottle of frozen water that slowly melted in the heat so we had chilled water all day.

Kaslo - sorry to hear about your mum. I can imagine how incredibly stressful that must have made your trip home. I was dreading getting a message to call home while I was away.

IJM - motorists here would KILL to get 25 gallons of petrol for $90. It would be $250+ here (I think. I don't have a car - don't need one in London - but petrol is ?6+/$10 per gallon).

LVT - I'll have a look back to see the cemetery pic. I liked your post a while ago about wanting to get the cemetery looking good for busy weekend. It's lovely that you care about making it a nice place for relatives to visit.

Right, I have to dismantle a table. That's my evening's entertainment. My girlfriend is moving in tomorrow permanently (yikes!) and she's bringing some furniture over in a van tomorrow. I need to get rid of the dining table to make way for her sofa. We can eat in the kitchen instead

Have a good day/evening all.

[Lavande]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

OK,
Passed my medical appt with flying colors today - B/P 120/82 despite the increased stress......
of course I am on 2 meds (good to know they're still working)
YB is at a different hospital today getting his steroid/pain injections. Waiting to hear from my daughter who was elected to transport him.

Hi Uni, hope you are not roasting too much in the sun but having a good day!

DG, you might like the trip to Jim Thorpe we're considering. Have you ever heard of it?

Marshy, good luck with moving things around. Can you put a TV in the dining room & eat while sitting on the sofa :H

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Marshy!!! Congrats on the ever closer moves with XNGF!!!! :h:h:h I'm relieved that we won't have to be running back and forth all the time trying not to spill our popcorn. I'm glad she's bringing her sofa so there will be more room for all of us.

Lav - I CANNOT WAIT to hear what YB thinks of those injections. I hope you have a pacifier ready for him.

Had a really good lunch with with the guy from the treatment place. What a good man with a kind and gentle soul who for so many years has just done his best to help addicts in our community. He tells me the largest growing problem right now is heroin addiction. In years past, it was common for 5 - 6 people to die of heroin overdose in our county per year. Last year 26 people died of heroin overdose and this year, it's trending to be more like 50. So many of these are high school kids. Very scary stuff. Of course alcohol addiction has always been a major issue and still is. Heroin is the fast growing problem right now.

In my 2nd school year there is interning. I can intern with him if I want to, and if I get my paperwork in this fall. I guess people start really early to get the good spots.

I'm very happy I'm doing this. It feels right. I hope I survive the return to college! CRS and all that (Lav! )

DG

[greeneyes]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Hallllllllooooooo.......

Goodbyeeeeeeeee........

That's all I have for the moment. :new:

[greeneyes]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

OK so I open the mail and my homeowner's insurance co is dropping me because of the bathroom leak. That's my only claim. Feckers. That is all.

[ItsJustMe]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Wazzzz up Dudes and Dudettes?

Got another AF day past me. Seems to be getting a little easier but AL is still on my mind starting about 3PM. I made an interesting observation this afternoon. For years, when I leave work I want to do one thing ? GO HOME. If I had to stop someplace on the way home it really pissed me off. If Mrs. IJM called me on the way for a stop at the grocery, Wal-Mart, PetCo it would fly all over me. I attributed this to a stressful day and just wanting to get home. Well this evening on the way home I already had one stop I had to make. Mrs. IJM called me with another stop. I went along with it ? no problem. Then it occurred to me ? Previously I was not rushing home to get away from stress. I was rushing home for cocktail time. If I had to stop then it was interfering with the time I could spend at cocktail time! As DG would say ? this was an aha moment. Most of you probably figured it out before I got to the end ? but it never really occurred to me until about an hour ago. It sickens me that I let AL have that kind of hold over my life! How many other things did AL control that I am not yet aware of????? That is freaking scary to think about. If AL was a person I would open an entire can of Georgia Whoop Ass on him!

Greenie ? that totally blows. I have State Farm and they will not even up my rates as long as I don?t make more than one claim in a three year period. I got that from the horse?s mouth ? my agent. They paid $16K for a new roof several years ago. Last fall I had to have our hard wood floor replaced due a water leak ($10K). I was concerned that SF would drop me. Because the roof claim was 4 years prior, they not only would not drop me, my rate stayed the same. Might want to check them out.

DG ? you must have the biggest heart of anyone I know. The fact that you recovered, volunteer, and now are going back to school to do this as a profession. That is total dedication. I want to be you when I grow up. Seriously, I don?t know anyone that is that dedicated to helping others.

AA ? thanks for sharing the article. I found it really really interesting.

Treya, Lav, and Uni ? thanks for all the advice. I really do value your opinions.

M3, I am still standing at the end of my driveway. COME ON AND PICK ME UP!

Marshy ? If I had to pay $10/gal for gas I would lose my mind! I drive a full size pickup that gets about 12-14 mpg and my round trip to work is 60 miles. I just can?t give up my truck. When setting in 6 lanes of traffic I feel safe in the truck. When I drive my wife?s little Volvo I feel like I could be squashed like a bug.

Ok, it?s time to open up the IJM kitchen and get busy. Have a great night everyone!

IJM

[Lavande]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Really Greenie?????
That certainly sucks! I wonder if a call to the insurance commissioner would make any difference

DG, I recommend large does of Ginseng (to help our CRS situation). Actually, my STM is not all that bad when I am interested in something.......it's the rest of the BS I just tend to forget :H

I loaned my daughter a car today to take YB to his hospital appt. His pick up truck is filthy these days & I thought they would both be more comfortable in a car. I'm nice
She said he did OK - that's all she said!!!! I'll just stay quiet & observe from a distance, right Greenie??

I wonder if I'm going to find the 4 young chickens roosting on the roof rafter again tonight. I almost had a heart attack when I found them up there last night. Apparently they had no problem getting down when the sun came up this morning

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY WEDNESDAY JULY 27th

Greenie, that sucks and that is all.

IJM, I suspect you will have many of those "aha" moments. When i look back at how I prioritized my AL time over absolutely everything, I can't believe I didn't really see it that way! DUH!!!! Cunning, baffling, powerful. I am not among the most giving in the recovery community here by a very very long long stretch. If you decide to get involved in more face to face stuff, you will be positively amazed by some of the people you will meet and how much of themselves they are giving. I do want to be more like them but I'm a long way off!!!

Lav, you have a few gymnasts in the flock! I am right there beside you eating popcorn and watching from afar. I imagine there are a few of us by your side. I hope you have a big sofa. :sofa: And lots of popcorn.

I have to say I am really proud of myself for staying calm through the rent o dump oops I mean investment property project, so far. Mr. Doggy is having fits multiple times a day, and I have remained calm and actually made a few suggestions that he later thanked me for. Not remodeling suggestions mind you - more along the lines of "getting along with people" and "hang onto your peace" type suggestions. In the old days, this project would not have been possible if both of us were to remain alive.

One thing is for sure...

Where is everyone today? Jenny? Loppy? Bear? Inchy? All you other fabbies???

DG