Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I'm writing this a day early, as we're housebound due to the Hurricane. So far, we haven't lost power (obviously).

The week w/our son, Jimmy, & his kids was really great. He got sober (through his own will & a DUI) 3.5 years ago & stopped smoking pot a year before that. While he's still a very shy guy, his whole personality has changed. When you put down the drink & joint, you start to think clearly & communicate better.

I read the AA thread from last week. Much of the discussion was about the difficulties that beset us & our fellows, just because that's how life is. My sponsor was just diagnosed w/lung cancer. She's going to fight like heck & really doesn't quite fathom the treatment ahead, which is probably for the best. But, she has an incredibly big support system & strong program. It was the uncertainty of life that drove me to drink...not that drinking makes anything better.

Patty continues to thrive, though cancer & a double mastectomy has changed her, us, & her relationship to her family/friends. She's going back to school on Tues. & spent the better part of last week getting herself & her classroom ready...something she enjoys & takes pride in.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Hi Mary. I'm glad you are safe in the storms and at least for now, still have power. It sounds like you and your family are doing well - that is awesome. Your mention of the changes in your sone since he sobered up make me think of something...

There is a guy I see a lot at meetings who nearly always says "I suffer from a disease of perception..." When I first heard him say that nearly every time he spoke, I really didn't fully get it. But alcohol really does change our perception of ourselves and of everything around us. And we *think* it changes things one way, and it actually changes things a different way. Good examples include things like:

When drinking...

I think: I am more interesting and social
Reality: I am loud and probably slurring

I think: I am fine to drive
Reality: My reactions are slow and I am NOT fine to drive

It's easy to see how this perception problem was at the heart of so many of my consequences.

In school we are learning more about the actual ways that the brain physically changes both in the short term and the longer term under the influence of AL/drugs. Seeing the medical evidence that is much more available today with modern imaging technology just reinforces what the "old timers" figured out a long time ago.

DG

[lucky 2.0]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

I have been going to AA mtgs often and enjoy the mix of people. My favorite mtg is the one with dykes on bikes (motorcycles) and nuns. Some mtgs are like a comedy show and some are more serious. I like them all, esp. those by candlelight.

One thing I have noticed is that only the newbies have cravings. I have asked others about this who did have cravings in the beginning and they said they asked God to take them away and eventually, they were gone, or sometimes they were gone quickly. I find comfort knowing I will not always be craving a glass of chardonnay.

Read about a member getting a DUI and arrested. Those are the messages I need to hear over and over and over again. There but for the grace of God go I.

Thank you all for sharing your experience, strength, and hope.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

lucky2, I really love the mix of people too. I will never forget the first discussion meeting I attended where the meeting is small enough so everyone has a chance to speak if they wish. room is set up with tables in a rectancle so it's like we sit around a big circle. There were men/women in suits/dresses, there were construction workers, and there were a couple of homeless people. All around the table with everyone's voice being equal. That was so shocking to me after a lifetime of career related meetings where there was ALWAYS a pecking order and NEVER was anyone's voice "equal" to everyone else's.

Your post also reminded me of a meeting I walked into one time at the club where I normally attend meetings. I happened to be driving past later in the evening and just popped in. Turns out it was the "biker and street people meeting." I think I was the only one there without a tattoo and something pierced besides ears. :H I was of course treated with respect and treated as an equal around the tables.

My sponsor is a nun. She's a hoot too. Sometimes I think I should be smacking her fingers with a ruler!

And yes. Those awful cravings WILL go away. Keep following your path and it will happen, I just know it. The promises are all coming true for me, and the compulsion is gone.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

I too love the cross-section of people at meetings: from me, a grandma, retired teacher to the young guy right out of jail who doesn't want to go back there. We're all the same.

My brain on alcohol:
-I need it to get through this tense situation.
-I need it to feel comfortable at this party.
-I need it to get through this fight w/my husband.
-I need it to relax after a difficult situation.
-etc.

I'm finding out that I don't "need" it at all. I can get through anything w/the help of the program & my AA fellowship.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

PS: The forecasters seem to have created a "tempest in a teapot" w/predicitons about Hurricane Irene up here in MA. Whew! No power outage so far.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Last night's meeting was a BB story about a black woman who used AA to get sober. She declared that AA knows no color barriers. It's an equal opportunity for all.

It turns out that many of us, myself included, feel "terminally unique." I didn't see any "late-bloomers" like myself when I first went to meetings. I now know I was wrong. There are plenty of older-aged newcomers. Bottom line: I learn something from everyone...even if their story is entirely different from mine.

M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Mary, that is one of the things I really love most about speaker meetings. I really does open my eyes to how much I have in common with so very many other people. I too suffered from the idea that my problems were unique, and therefore I needed a unique solution. Not true. What a relief.

DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Hi everyone !

Mary glad that you had a great time and that you are safe,
Dg, it intestresting what you are learning in school about the brain, it takes a long while for the brain to settle down. one of my friends from group got brain damage from drinking. It really is sad it effects people in different ways...
Lucky, it good to see you on this thread the craving for me took a while for them to go away but i do know for me (talking for myself) is that when i was 7months and i started my 12steps somewhere in the middle of doing the steps my obbession was removed wish i started the steps early. I still have the thought sometimes that come in but not that often.

Mary you mention communitcate = that played a big role in my life as a child i isolated from fear which made me not communicate so well in school. Drinking seem to make me feel comfortable which give me confidence in myself. Today am trusting my fears !
Letting go i have to be careful not to use this in the wrong way i catch myself out using it in the wrong way by not taking charge of my responablies as a adult. My old behaviour can creep back in unware......sometimes i know am doing it which then i call it the (Fu*k it button ) dont care and let it go over my head !! Hmmmm

Take care all x

catch22 x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Last night's speaker meeting was a 50th anniversary of the group. Yes, 50th.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Doggygirl;1170197 wrote:

There is a guy I see a lot at meetings who nearly always says "I suffer from a disease of perception..." When I first heard him say that nearly every time he spoke, I really didn't fully get it. But alcohol really does change our perception of ourselves and of everything around us. And we *think* it changes things one way, and it actually changes things a different way.

DG

No wonder it's so hard to quit! I think that is really it (or a big part of). Even when our lives are disasters over and over and over, we still convince ourselves of things like "I'm not that bad," "I'd still like enjoy to my glass () of wine in the evening," (and honestly meaning it and intending it about "the glass") or "I don't remember parts of the day, but I'm sure it was just a senior moment." Our perception is just plain warped! I know mine was and it wasn't real obvious to me until I got alcohol out of my system (and then started the real work :H)! If I look back, I had many, many "bottoms" before the final one dawned on me. If I was rational, any of those should have been more than enough to face up and 'fess up, to yeah, I'm an alcoholic (not a "future" alcoholic, not "just" a problem drinker, or "just" a hard partyer - a "on the downside of middle age" partyer no less! Now that's real appealing.).

To me this is why it is important to look at and listen to what those with some long term sobriety do and say. I did get sober here at MWO (by doing that), but I something I did (and do) like about AA is the fact that "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Not drink less, drink like a lady, enjoy a glass of wine, or whatever (though there are are quite a few who came in for that reason, or thought that's what they would be taught!).

I went to the Sunday BB meeting (I haven't been in awhile since I usually have to work on Sundays). I was glad I made it - the longtime chair - the guy I call the old barroom brawler - had recently stepped down due to advanced cancer and cannot often attend. He did show up this week! I was so happy (and grateful) to get to see him again - I had feared I might not ever get the chance. He is one of those old timers who live and teach (by example) the program so well, and whose meetings were always some the best I've ever been to. I will always be grateful for what he has given me and so many others.

I loved reading everyone's posts this week and last - this is just like a live AA meeting - getting so much insight even when I don't know I need it. Have a good week everyone!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

dance: There's so much in your post I can identify with. I certainly suffered under the misconception that someday I could drink normally. I still have to take the first step every single day & admit my powerlessness over alcohol. Counting my drinks, rationing myself, trying to cut down, etc. is, for me, more obsession. Been there, done that.

I too had many bottoms before I hit the bottom that brought me to AA. Thank God I didn't need a judge to tell me, as so many AAers did. A trip to the hospital w/an alcoholic overdose did it for me.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Dance, great post! Like you, I really did not GET, at all, the true level of my problem - alcoholism. Addiction. According to the DSM-IV, Substance Dependent. Funny - looking at the list of criteria in class yesterday, it only takes meeting 3 of the 7 criteria to be clinically diagnosed as Substance Dependent (addicted). I met 6 of the 7, and that was true for many, many years. The only criteria that I didn't meet, and that was only by sheer luck, was having repetitive legal problems. I sure didn't see it though.

I still chair the meeting on Thursday morning before I go to class and I'm looking forward to that tomorrow. I hope it's a good reading! (well, they are all good!)

have a good day all,

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Greetings all,
If I was ever going to drink again, today would have been the day. An exchange with my manager got me so angry I was shaking. I held my tongue and made it through our presentation. At the break he pulled me aside and apologized for "losing his cool". I guess I was still feeling the anger, because I told I had nothing to say at the moment.

I made it through the day by repeating "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done." I kept reminding myself that in the past 634 days, my brother and mother died and I did not drink. Why should I allow a work situation end my sobriety?

On the one hour drive home I called an alcoholic that is struggling with the program, unemployment, etc.
I have no desire to drink, I have my serenity. Thank God for y'all and AA.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 29 - Sept. 4

Phil: What an inspirational story. It's so difficult to see "jerks" as sick people, but that's just what our program asks us to do. Also, the fact that you called another alcoholic who needed your help is exactly what the founders of our program would have had you do. When I first came into program, I was told:
-Trust God.
-Clean House.
-Help Another Alcoholic.

That's just what you did.

Thank you so much for sharing that story. I would hope that I could do what you did in a similar situation.

Mary