AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

[shueaddict]

Good morning Fabulous Abbers,

Feeling even better today after yet another early night. Lesson learned from the holiday fail – I just need to look after myself a bit better and allow myself to rest. In that spirit, yesterday I turned down a new work project. I had to rein in my workaholic self, but I thought about how much energy this takes out of me and decided that I have enough on my plate.

The French press is full, decaf is on the side and I have some fudge for those who need the sugar kick.

On with the work now. Have a wonderful hump day.

[DizzyBee]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Morning Shue and those to come

Thanks I'll take some coffee and fudge and run as I've got to finish five policies today. I may be doing well on the drinking front but my procrastination habit is still raging in full force.

I dunno, ever since I went AF this time (and the Topa rewired my brain, it really did change my life) I went from a very calm introverted person to this buzzy extrovert and now I want to run around and make sprouts, not sit in front of my computer and write...

I really do feel like a new person and even though part of me is waiting for the bubble to burst and for the old Dizzy to come slumping along another part is shite scared. I freelance so I can do translation and hippie-dom.

But I'm not sure I want to be in my relationship anymore. I'm supposed to move in a months time and I used to think of that as my salvation but now I'm so happy that I don't need a nice guy with money (not that thats the point) to *save* me. I guess I'll just have to look deep into my heart on this one. I think he's just very busy trying to build a home for me there and I'm really scared, so its not fair to me to say this out loud.

Its a bit like being reborn, innit?

Have a fab day everyone and thanks for all the words of encouragement yesterday. And yes if everyone is ever going to toss alcohol away, the compost heap is better than the sink. Lots of yeast and bacteria to help the stuff decompose.

[Almostfamous]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Good morning Sunshines!

Shue- I am sure it's hard for you to say no, but well done! It's not worth your sanity and health to work yourself into a frenzied state. I do love NYC though!
My last job I loved but it was all consuming. My current job is well, just a job. I'm trying to figure out if I want to go back to my former career self once we move. Lots to think about. In the meantime my "job" is perfect for my current stressed out self.

Dizzy- Can do both jobs for a while to see where it leads you? If the sprouts job takes off and you really enjoy it, then go for it! Don't wait for "the bubble to burst!" Embrace this even better version of you!!!
As far as your relationship, only you can decide what is best. Have you spoken with him about your reservations? You could always buy a little time by saying that you are working on yourself first. I believe in just having an honest conversation with him. I know its uncomfortable but you want to be fair to yourself and to him.
Sometimes that old phrase "when in doubt, don't " is with it's weight in gold. Just keep plugging along in your sobriety. Things WILL fall into place for you

Momof3- you are almost at the 4 year mark????? That's just amazing! Big hugs to you!!!!I almost choked on my coffee when I read about that jewelry party. I got derailed at one of those damn things years ago too. ARGH!

Hi to all the rest of you that peek in. Happy friendsday Wednesday!

[ThreeDogNight]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Good morning, Shue, Dizzy and all to come!

Shue, I think it's great that you turned down the big project! Your sobriety is the most important thing, and you just don't need any extra stress. Thanks for the coffee--I'll pass on the fudge fo now
Dizzy, seems to me that you are growing emotionally and spiritually, and that's why you are questioning the move in with your BF. It's good that you can "talk" about it here, and I'm sure you'll do what is right for you. Must be a little scarey, too, since it involves such a long distance move.
Yesterday I got a ride home from the flower shop from the part time delivery driver, whom I like a lot. He has never said anything about my DUI, but I felt awkward having him drive me home, and I had this odd sensation that I had just been living in some kind of dream (nightmare) for the last year. Like "No way an intelligent woman like me could have lost her license." Hard to describe, and it didn't make me want to drink, but it is an uneasy feeling. I'd had a phone message from a former customer who became a friend --third time in the last four months that she's left me a message that I haven't yet returned--telling me that she had spoken to a regional manager for a pet food company about me, as they are looking for a rep in the area. Maybe that is what brought on this feeling. Driving was such a huge part of my life for so long.
Also had a call form the owner of the store I am going to be working for, and she wants me to go in on Monday with the assistant to start cleaning and unpacking the boxes that have already arrived. Supposedly she or a manager of one of the other stores will be in on Tuesday to help us and give us some direction. Also said I should plan on weekdays until we are ready to open. No mention of the trip to ME yet! Need to tell my flower shop friend, who had been counting on me for Mother's Day/Prom and neighbor who wanted me to look after her shop when I could while she and hubby are away.
Have my kids' group today, and it will be the last time, as they are on vacation next week, and the following week is their last and i'll be working! No cake pops today, so Girl Scout cookies will have to do:H
Hope you all have a great AF day!!

[ThreeDogNight]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Cross post, Almost--seems to happen all the time! Glad to see you here. You are always so positiev!

[Almostfamous]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

TDN- we are the cross posting pair aren't we???? Thanks, I'm glad you're here too! We tend to worry about things that we need not have ever worried about in the first place. I've tried to work on not borrowing problems until I actually need to. I'm glad your ride worked out. You'll do great at your new gig!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Good morning Abbers & happy hump day,

Shue, non-stop stress is what finally got me to hang up my scrubs forever. Nursing is a great career but 27 years of tension really wears on a person. I ended up almost hating what I was doing. It took a long time for me to wind down after that & that's when my drinking career began
Take care of yourself now

Dizzy, rebirth is a fairly accurate description of what we're doing here!
Hope everything works out in the best way possible for you.

Almost, are you in NYC?
I love a visit there but couldn't live there. I'm actually sitting right between Philly & Baltimore so if I need a city day I can have one

TDN, you are about to embark on a brand new job, be happy & confident with yourself, you deserve that much. Your flower shop friend will be OK

OK, I'm off to Curves & expecting my daughter & granddaughter this afternoon.
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Wednesday!
Lav

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Wow,

Busy morning morning already. The energizer bunnies are up.

Shue. So great that you are creating space in your life to heal. It is amazing to me that once we get some distance from alcohol, we become much more proactive and insightful.

Sugarbeat. Continually amazed by the transformation of you that is unfolding in front of our eyes. I too had tons of energy once I got through the "My life is a mess and I feel so fucking deprived because I cannot have my daily dose of alcohol" stage. I still find that all of the energy I have is sometimes hard to contain. Like I am making up for lost time. I have to remind myself to make conscious decisions about what I choose to change or take on. You are doing great. Keep following your heart.

TDN, I would imagine I would feel the same if I had a DUI (and lord knows it was pure luck that I didn't). Hope you can see it as a huge lesson learned and move on from there. One of the things that I have been really working on is "instant forgiveness", i.e.,, acknowledging when I have screwed up and then moving forward from there. Growing up as an Irish Catholic, shame is a huge thing. Doesn't do me or anyone else any good.

Almost Famous, Go figure with those jewelry parties,, huh? I will never attend another jewelry, tupperware, or whatever party again. Had to drop out of my book club too because it was an excuse for a bunch of moms to drink wine and get drunk. Most of the time, we never discussed the book.

:l to all,
M3

[Almostfamous]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Lav- no but I do love to visit NYC! Pavement and me agree.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Hello friends,

Everyone is doing so well! Please excuse me for my inability to remark on everyone's goings on, it takes me awhile to remember who is who and who is doing what!:H I used to take notes, but trying to cut down in my Internet time so....

Fly--congrats on 60 days--huge milestone!

Shue--I think it must be pretty common in the early days to do what you did with the champagne. Before I committed to AF I went to an out of town family wedding with the big drinkers and did have 1 glass to toast the bride and groom, but I managed to forego any other alcohol, so still felt good about that. What I didn't feel good about was the time my in-laws that we only see once or twice a year and used to party with all the time--came for a visit, it was stressful--I drank too much beer and smoked a few ciggies. If it weren't for that my quit date would be 4 years ago June 1st--the last time I got really drunk--but instead my life without alcohol started in September. It is a learning experience.

I'm so proud of everyone that has so much insight into themselves! I've come to realize and admitted it to my husband the other day that I am a slob. The house is almost always a mess. I blame the boys, but I'm pretty sure a lot of it is me. He said he has known this about me for a long time. Sometimes I think I may be too hard on him. I think there must be so much about me that bugs him, but he doesn't say much.

Thank you Kaslo for the info on the trees! Gosh, there is just so much I don't know about stuff!! I would love to go back to school in Horticulture. It really interests me about the types of trees, etc....I know nothing much about trees. My BIL was the one telling my hubby all the horror stories about cherry trees. I talked to another friend and she loves hers. I'm going to plant at least one of the Bings in the front yard, the other one might go in back.

I'm debating about what to tell Terry's husband about his GF visiting for her memorial. I talked to my other SIL about it and she doesn't care for the situation either. I'm ok with the decision to not go to the in urnment (One funeral is plenty, thank you) but when he mentioned that he might have her help go through my sister's things--I just can't let go of that. I don't want some other women doing that--I want to do it, and I've told him that--but I think I better be a little more blunt so he understands why I feel the way I do.

Well, I better keep moving. I started cleaning out the mess under my kitchen sink yesterday until I ran out of time, so it looks like a bomb went off in there. It probably is amazing that my hubby hasn't had a stroke by now--he used to be a clean freak.:H

Lovely crocus Lav. The trees are budding, but not many real signs of spring here yet.

Have a great af day all!:h

[shueaddict]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Dizzy ? I love the ?sprouting? buzzy extrovert you are ? as for the Irish lovin?, only you can tell.

ThreeDogNight;1299273 wrote: I felt awkward having him drive me home, and I had this odd sensation that I had just been living in some kind of dream (nightmare) for the last year. Like "No way an intelligent woman like me could have lost her license." !!TND, you are such a kind soul! Stop beating yourself up!!! Prance in front of Barney fife and know that MANY people cannot drive for a variety of reasons. Don?t let that steal any joy from what you have right now.

Almost ? how?s the house holding up?
momof3;1299329 wrote: Shue. So great that you are creating space in your life to heal. It is amazing to me that once we get some distance from alcohol, we become much more proactive and insightful.
M3

Lav and Mo3 ? I had a rare ?light bulb? moment, realizing that despite how much I love my work it is taking its toll on me. I actually got loads of kudos from my boss for passing this up and focusing on what I do right now.

Now where is Sugar (bragging about herself in another job interview ?) fingers crossed.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Fabbies!

You guys are doing so fabulously!

LVT, there's enough space for everyone to navigate the process of sifting through their feelings (and Terry's things) in their own way, even if it is in the company of others. This person may be a gift of healing opportunity for everyone. :l

Det, I HAVE to learn to sharpen my knife. I watched two videos using a rod. Each used an opposite direction of stroke. Which one do you use?

Dizzy I may just start sprouting again.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

momof3;1299329 wrote: I have to remind myself to make conscious decisions about what I choose to change or take on. You are doing great. Keep following your heart.

THAT is one good piece of advice. Just :h that M3!

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Good morning Fabeens, what a lot of stuff going on here. Shue thanks for the pull start on the Evinrude 350 boat motor of MWO daily AF thread. I love it here and think of everyone of you as I go about my day! It is so cool! Shu, I used to be the type of CEO that took on WAY too much and stress the hell out of myself and staff to the point where I drank like a fish on down time to cope, NOT cope that is. I am glad to see you take care of Shu first.

Diz, Im with M3, do what your heart tells you to do.

Diz, I LOVE the extra energy I have, and can find no end of ways of making a nuisance of myself in my garden mostly.

Almost, I love your aphorism, "when in doubt, don't" I have a similar one "when in doubt take it out" for my sci tech writing. Diz can you just go for a visit, to try adn see how you feel about it. As opposed to putting your life in a container and shipping it. My oldest brother (Troll) put his entire entourage in a container and shipped it to Costa Rica, grand piano and all, lived there for 6 months till his teen age daughter said...I dont LIKE Costa Rica, so he put it all back and now he lives in Red Deer Alberta, as I kind of penance I think.

Lav, you seem to do an awful lot for your GKs and Ks and I am not sure I could keep that up Well, I know I couldnt. You are a very fine person, Lav.

TDN good luck with your job....I will be very forward and say I think you need to let the DUI go, and just tell people "I cant drive until XX date" If the person you are talking to is so rude as to ask why or say do you have a DUI, just say "I have a restriction on my licence, and Im dealing with it". That way you are honest with people, but you are not telling them anything more than what they need to know. Its no ones business. A DUI cessation of driving priveledges is there for a reason. Its to force people to realize they MUST stop drinking before they kill themselves or someone else. I know its harsh but its been very effective. And you only have to worry about what YOU think about it. Other people can think what they like. You have done SO much to improve your life and your health, and you deserve a huge pat on the back for finding a suitable job, helping so much in the community in which you live. You are a fine person who has dealt with an addiction. That makes you very accomplished, in my view. I do think you need to put this matter to bed and wait it out till you can drive again. When is that?

M3 you are so together. That is all.

LVT... I wasnt sure if posting a big essay on flowering cherry trees was appropriate for this site! But I am glad it helps. if you have two trees and they are only 100 meters apart they are likely to cross pollinate (bees mostly), so you may get fruit. But maybe not as much. They are beautiful and stunning when in bloom, and the bark is beautiful in winter. Go for it re horticulture studies! There must be a college not far from you.

Well folks I have a pile of equipment to put in the truck. Will post some photos if I can later.

Xpost Greenie, got my kayak on the truck too.
Kaslo

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 18

Dear LVT,....Having read the Green ones post, I have to add to this.

My sister died of suicide and my BIL would not let us near her things. He had a cute little GF then who was then responsible for all of what happened after that. It was excruciating for my mother.

I can see how you might not want your BIL and his new gf to go through your sisters stuff, completely. Be thankful you still have a speaking relationship with the man, because really, its HIS job to do this and maybe Greenie is right. This new person could possibly be a great help to EVERYONE. Maybe try to get to know her and take her for what she is. Give her a chance, LV. She may end up being a huge friend to you in the future, she has a big job taking up where your dear sister left off.

Btw, my BIL was dead within the year of heart failure, and he died alone. None of us know now where her things went and when it comes down to it, it doesnt matter thant much any more. That was 31 years ago.

Kaslo