AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

[shueaddict]

Good glorious morning, fabulous abbers,

I managed to get my 45 min cardio at the crack of dawn again and feel fantastic. I love waking up this early in the morning, feeling great and ready for action, getting everything done in the house before the heat.

As always I crave coffee like crazy this time of the morning so the French press is full to the brim. Come and have a mug or two, I promise I’ll refill.

I have another day packed with work but before I get into my day … here are a few pics of Transylvania ( I am no Kas so some pics are not mine but I did see everything).


Sibiu’s main square – we had to eat dinner down in the old cellar, even in the evening it was roasting outside … about 34 Celsius / 93F .


Sibiu – “Liar’s bridge” – from where the soldiers were leaving for the 1st world war – this is where they were saying good bye to their sweethearts ; the men promised they’d marry them when they came back, the girls promised to wait …


The monastery next to my dad’s village – the nuns here made a mean veal & smoked sausage stew ... oh, and a green bean salad with so much garlic that would make even Det blush.


Village museum Sibiu – houses in this area were painted blue – the richer the man the darker the blue. The poor peasants that once held this cottage had to dilute the blue paint – hence this lovely hue.


Village museum Sibiu – the village still - where men came to make their “fire water” from the very sweet plums and pears that grow here.

[shueaddict]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

LillyE;1348537 wrote: I'm single, having divorced some years back, so feel that stage/possibility has slipped by me and that having spent the last few years wallowing in resentment over my divorce fueled by the booze hasn't helped..

Lilly ? never say never, life is full of surprises. Love yourself and look after yourself. Some people here are superfine examples of positive thinking.

Fly ? oh my, you surely seem to have had your share of bad luck when it comes to ?medical help?. Yes, I travel quite a bit for work ?2 nights away every fortnight but it throws me out of my routine. There is nothing glamorous about travelling for work (unless you have your own jet ?) Yes, I get to see some cool places, but that is in stolen evenings, after 10-12 hours of nonstop meetings.

[JackieClaire]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Just dropped in to say those photos are magnificent. Thank you so much for posting.

Have a great AF day,Shue.

J x
:l

[ThreeDogNight]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Good Morning, Shue, and thanks for the coffee and the pics! What a magically beautiful place! I would love to see it someday!
Have been dreading coming on this a.m., which would be Day 7 for me, but I slipped yesterday. No big drunken thing, nothing like that at all, but a slip. I have been feeling so positive and strong and all of a sudden I start thinking that my dog is dying and I go back to something I don't want to go to. Makes no sense, I know, and as soon as I did it, I thought of MWO and having to 'fess up. I have a colleague/friend whom I realize is toxic, and she had the remains of the wine I'd had last week. Not blaming her by any means, but need to keep my guard up. I hope that it's okay to post here, as this is where I feel the most comfortable with people I've come to know so well.
Lilly, your posts are so insightful, and you have a good understanding of this whole mess. Reading and posting here is a good way to ward off the demons. I have the MWO CDs and am using them again, too. Some of the books on the reading list have been helpful to me in the past, and i am re-reading HOPE, the story of Geraldine Owen Delaney by Dick B. Mrs. Delaney founded Alina Lodge in PA, and the book is inspiring. I originally read it in rehab last November.
Fly, I always freeze blueberries the way you do, and it works great. haven't done the raspberries in a while, but once i get them this year--maybe today or tomorrow--will try again.
Thanks for listening. Today will be a better day.
TDN

[LillyE]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Shue, it would seem you are firing up the French Press right as I am sipping the chamomile tea; the problems of being in another time zone. wonderful to see your pics - what an interesting trip that must have been. And, you are right re 'never say never' - was just having a pity party moment. Well, day really. But it will pass.

Three Dog, Thanks so much for the nice compliment And the tips. I will totally check that out. I Love new book suggestions, cheers. I'm sorry to hear about your slip. It's so great to have the support and accountability here but it does make it painful when we fall. :l

Great that you're right back here and posting though. What did you learn from this encounter with Al?

[Mick]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Shue pictures look ace..looks a smart place

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

YAY! Coffee & pics to start off with! Thanks shue!

TDN, You know there will always be something that you feel will allow you to justify a drink to yourself. Put those big girl pants on and say no! And try not to spend time with toxic people ~ life's too short.

Hi JC! XO

Lily, shue is absolutely correct in that you have no idea what the future holds for you. I think you do play a part in that though. Thoughts and words are important. So is perspective. It may be helpful for you to look for your silver linings and practice gratitude. You, just as being yourself, are the greatest gift you have to offer the world. Letting go of resentment can allow you to reclaim your power and be that shining light that you are. That's not exactly easy, letting go of stuff. Have you explored ways to help you do that? :l

Mick I believe you have an AF week to celebrate? Well done!

Gotta get a move on here. Maybe I'll try water class this AM, my knees bother me a bit from all that yard clean up, but maybe I'm using that as an excuse.

One thing's for sure!

[LillyE]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

greeneyes;1348670 wrote:

Lily, shue is absolutely correct in that you have no idea what the future holds for you. I think you do play a part in that though. Thoughts and words are important. So is perspective. It may be helpful for you to look for your silver linings and practice gratitude. You, just as being yourself, are the greatest gift you have to offer the world. Letting go of resentment can allow you to reclaim your power and be that shining light that you are. That's not exactly easy, letting go of stuff. Have you explored ways to help you do that? :l
!

Hi Greenie,

Absolutely I have been - through reading, therapy, journalling and reflection. I'm actively working on it with my therapist at present - appointment tomorrow in fact - who I've been seeing since last October. Probably what made me mention it - all those things have helped me realise recently just how much I've been holding on to some past resentments, how it's affected me, and how much I need to forgive, move past it, let go. But it's a process and ongoing...

Mick, a week? that's fabulous!!!! Well done you. The first week is tough - it gets easier and better so keep going

:goodjob:

[porqoui]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Hi Lilly
Day 13 AF for me and I was really glad to see resentment in the thread this morning.
Dealing with an unruly sibling reguarding the care of my incapacitated father. All the issues over the years are front and center again. The resentment is building ten fold!

TDN - Where else can you come to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and have tons of support to steer you back in the right direction. MWO is a life saver.

Good Morning to everyone and have a great AF day.

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

well...seems I am still on never-never land time....

I posted a nice long reply to something Lily wrote on yesterday's AF Daily...so here it is in cut and paste style:

LillyE...You're making some crucial progress even though it is not always easy for you to see. This addiction is tough to break because it directly impacts the area of the brain that controls decision making. This is why it is so critical to seek out and absorb information about drinking AND get support and guidance from others. You are doing that. And you're doing that consistently and diligently. So now, you ask....how to go beyond this?

For me, the life changing moment came when I realized my body just cannot tolerate any amount of alcohol. Not a drop. I don't know if I was born this way or became this way. It doesn't matter because I AM this way now. Initially, I was afraid of acknowledging this and what it would mean. But interestingly enough, once I accepted this....I felt as if I had wings. I love being free. I have my life back again.

Healing takes time. You have started that process. And, as you look around this forum and at other support groups or programs, you'll notice that those who are truly successful and secure in their freedom from addiction are successful because they embrace sobriety. It is not a struggle....it is a joy to be free.

Beyond the high-concept talk...the concrete steps I took to final freedom came down to these basics:

* I acknowledged to myself and then (later) to others that I no longer drink.

* I surround myself with people who reinforce, support, and strengthen AF living.

* I help my body heal more every day. I eat whole, healthy foods. I supplement to help speed the biochemical repair that needs to take place. I exercise to help the brain get the dopamine and serotonin mix back into proper balance. And I retrain my brain by immersing myself in an attitude of gratitude. In those early days, sometimes the only thing I could feel sorta grateful for was that I was still breathing - even though I was so depressed and sometimes thought death would be the best thing for me.

I read something quite wise around here that went something like this:

We don't choose to become addicted to alcohol. But we can choose not to take the first drink.

And for those of us who have faced the hell of addiction, it is the ONLY choice. And a choice that is more than worth it. AF life is limitless.

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Shue-B-Dewdrop.....Bee-YOO-tee-ful pics of the homeland...thanks for posting.

TDN...sorry to hear about your struggles. I am glad you're back. What can we do to help keep you out of the hellhole?

Porquoi...nice to meet you...glad you're here. I hope you stick around. There are a lot of good people to learn from around these parts.

Jackie...I just read about your major milestone....Congratulations! You inspire us!

Greenie...you're another one I always learn so much from...hope your knees are recovering from yardwork.

Lav...haven't seen you yet here today...but I must tell you all about my brief, but wonderful chicken adventures of late. I love those little cluckers.

Mick - way to go on your AF time....keep chocking it up! AF living is really wonderful.

[Mick]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Hi folks..yep now starting second week with an af day 8.how are you all doing? was a "bit" tough (understatement) but hey no one said it would be easy Lilly E, Greeneyes and everyone else thanks for your support
Mick

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Hi everyone

Back from my trip away, had a great time despite the awful constant wet weather here in UK. Didn't drink although I must be honest and say at times it was tough. I'm hoping it will get a little easier again now I'm home.

Need to catch up on what's been happening on the threads and I've so much washing to do! Off to bed now as very tired. Will look in properly tomorrow.

Sausage x
Day 139 AF

[LillyE]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Turnagain, I missed your wonderful response to my post on the last thread at first. (It gets a bit confusing for me being in this hemisphere because when I am posting generally you're all asleep then the new thread has started by the time I wake up.)

Anyway, I am REALLY glad I didn't miss it altogether because it really resonated with and encouraged me - thank you!!! It helped me feel like I am on the right path because I am slowly, slowly doing and focusing on precisely all the things you mentioned - acceptance; holistic health; reaching out more for external support; gratitude. It has taken me a year of 'trying to quit' to begin to really accept I can't drink and that acceptance is still a rather fragile thing so posts like yours help tremendously. I completely agree that the gratitude approach is key to long-term success.

You'll all come to learn that I frequently draw parallels with my process in quitting smoking, which also was a 20+ year habit and also took me a year of 'trying' to achieve (over 15 months now!), and that was key to that too.. Eg. Viewing it as a positive, not a deprivation. As was a more holistic approach to health. With alcohol it's way harder even because even smokers these days give you credit for quitting, whereas people give you grief for quitting drinking and alcohol is SO glamorized in our culture. It's amazing once you start to see it for what it is.

But I digress?

I'd love to hear more about what supplements you take too as that is something I'm slowly exploring and learning about too. And/or any book/sites you've found helpful in learning about that. And thank you again for all that! I have copied your post and saved it to my file of inspiring posts here that help me when I need a bit of encouragement.

The other thing you brought up that I am beginning to address is surrounding myself with people who support me in sobriety and cutting ties with ones who don't. I found myself mentally tabulating that exact thing in bed last night in a fairly dispassionate way. I feel very lucky that I have a lot of TERRIFIC friends who have been really supportive even without fully understanding it all - as I haven't been that open with many of them about the depths of it - yet. But there are a few who I am realizing are not supportive, are essentially drinking buddies, and one in particular who I have come to feel is downright toxic and our friendship was really just based around our mutual alcoholism.

The good news is: It's fairly easy to cut out these people when you know you have lots of other great friendships. I don't feel I need to say anything to these friends but I am gradually distancing myself more and more from them and gravitating more and more toward those who support me, which is great, cause those are true friends.

It would be soooo hard if your whole social circle revolved around booze and was unsupportive. Likewise, when I read about people - like you Sausage - whose partners drink and aren't supportive... I would find that SOOO hard, even just to have booze in the house all the time (so I think you're all the more amazing).

Porquoi, I have come to feel that resentment is a key thing tying me to addictive, destructive behaviors - not the sole reason by any means but rather a major trigger so therefore something I really have to deal with. It sounds like you too. I completely relate to your situation (I had to deal with crazy sister during mother's long incapacitation and OMG what a nightmare); it is SOO stressful and SOOO something that can drive us to drink. I'm so glad you realize that - being aware is so key in fighting those triggers. I hope you are getting some good support for all that too elsewhere??

[LillyE]

AF Daily - Wednesday, July 11th

Turnagain, again (heh), I also just read your awesome 'Gratitude, Acceptance, Freedom' thread. Love love love!