Simply Sober September

[itsmytime]

Simply Sober September

Hi all,
Quick check in on my lunch. Having a craving day today out of the blue and had to come here as sharing on this site really helps me. I am on Day 51 and wonder and know that I am still at the adjustment phase and the bargaining mind will pop up once in awhile still. I was riding the "Pink Cloud" the past weeks and did not have one craving whatsoever, so when this started today I was floored.

I am reminding myself why I choose not to drink and will ride it out and meditate later after work. There is some stress popping up as I am planning a huge party and buying booze etc for it and there will be lots of ppl there who do not know I have stopped drinking. My subconcious is working overtime.

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

cyn - wonderful to hear from you
I hope you can get some rest now - geez, you have been a busy tree!!!!

IMT, some meditation right now sounds like just the ticket
Is there any chance of putting someone else in charge of the booze for the party? I still refuse to go near the stuff.....haven't made a purchase since before my quit.
Go back to my post from yesterday (or the day before) where I posted a link to some real interesting online (free) speakers coming up next month. The topic is brain science & what we can do to rewire our brains. Perfect for all of us I think

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

If you like Eckhart Tolle (thinking of Dill & Chill)
Sign up for his 'Uncourse'.
You can work through it on your own time, at your own pace

https://www.eckharttolletv.com/uncourse/login/

[dill]

Simply Sober September

Thanks for thinking of me and for the link, Lav. I'll check it out.

IMT, I'm wondering if you aren't biting off more than you can chew. Only you can know that though. I can imagine this upcoming event is challenging your determination. I agree with Lav about enlisting someone else to handle the booze, if possible.

Cyn, so glad to see you! I hope you take it easy for awhile and put your energies towards self-healing. I also hope you will be able to check in more often now. I have missed you.

Star, I absolutely agree with Chill and can't really add any more to the discussion than she and Lav have already offered. I know that I have tried repeatedly to moderate, only to wake up the next morning wondering what I had done the previous evening and feeling defeated and remorseful. The physical hangover isn't really the problem for me. It's never more than dehydration and sluggishness. But the phsychological/emotional hangover is killer.

[Rusty]

Simply Sober September

Good Evening Sober Ones,

Cynwow, your life has been hectic lately. It is so good to see you, and I am glad the Lyme's Disease meds are helping you. Do you miss your husband when he's gone for a long time or do you like having time to yourself?

Star-I think if a person is truly dependenton AL, then it would be impossible to moderate. Before I became a daily 2-glass a wine drinker in my late thirties, I knew a few people who were able to moderate (as in a glass of wine or a beer 2-3 x per year) after several years of being AF, but I know it's not the norm. For them, drinking was not something their bodies needed or required, but they had become habitual drinkers. Not to start yet another debate about moderating vs. abstinence or ruffle anyone's AF feathers, but I wanted to answer your question honestly. I'm bound to get slaughtered for that statement, but that's ok, I'm used to it.:H

IMT-I am with Lav....isn't there ANYONE else who can be responsible for the booze? I know it would have been wayyy too dangerous for me to try something like that. Good for you for coming on here when you were feeling vulnerable.

Dill-I am glad your son is close by, and I hope he finds a job soon. He must be relieved that you're truly present for him if he needs you.

I was lurking on the other threads last week and I think it was MWO member Supercrew who said he used to hate Sundays, as it meant the start of another stressful week at work. So, he used to drink on Sundays to try and numb the anxiety of the week to come. But now since he has significant AF time under his belt, he loves Sundays, because Sundays give him one more day to celebrate being alive and enjoying life. I feel the same way now, too. I love Sundays, and through the help of everyone here, with huge thanks to Lav, I am learning to live in the moment, instead of anticipating misery in the upcoming work week that usually never happens.

Rustop-your cruise sounds like it was so magical. I'm glad you're home safely, and I laughed when you talked about 2 wks. of houseguests. Ah, you must have a halo over your head.

Chill-I am so glad the weather has been nice in Suffolk. I cannot imagine living in the climate of Scotland, where it rains non-stop. I would get very depressed. I am glad you and Mr. S. are getting along so well. More stories for the Daily Mail. Also, I am reprinting what you posted on 2/12/2011 from Wayne Dyer's " Change Your Thoughts, Change You Life. It's from the chapter "The Love Equation." I've been concentrating on this today:

Low energy attracts low energy. Low energy thoughts, such as anger, hate, shame, guilt, and fear,weaken you. And they attract more of the same. By changing your inner thoughts to the higher frequencies of love, harmony, kindness, peace, and joy, you?ll attract more of the same, and you?ll have those higher energies to give away.

Big hellos to everyone: Lav, Pap, LBH, SD, Fly, Mick, Chef, and anyone I may have missed....hope you're enjoying the simplicity of a sober Wednesday night. I am.

[Chillgirl]

Simply Sober September

Happy Thursday everyone

Cyn - :welcome: back! Its lovely to hear from you and some quiet time with the dogs sounds perfect after a hectic summer, I hope you include us in that 'you' time.

Rusty - thanks for the Wayne quote, what beautiful words to begin the day with. I agree with Supercrew re Sundays, I did the very same with mine for years and now having them back is like winning an extra day of the week. I love them and love waking up clear headed and happy.

Dill - it was the phsychological abuse I gave myself that I too could no longer tolerate, loving ourselves and behaving in ways we approve of instead makes life so much better.

IMT - 50+ AF days is a wonderful achievement and one to be very proud of. I dont know your personal circumstances re this party but please tread with extreme caution. I kept well away from any social activity for at least 6 months and even then I usually arranged to leave early. My sobriety was the most important thing in my life and I treated it like you would a delicate and precious possession, I guarded and protected it at all costs. I wouldn't have put myself in a position to be buying AL and if you can get someone else to take this over, it would avoid unnecessary pressure.

Lav - thanks for the info on Eckhart, I'm a fan but usually dismiss his emails as they are usually charging for the courses. I will check this one out. I did my unpacking the other day to the audio of Radical Forgiveness but realize it needs to be replayed a good few times to properly refresh my thinking.

I have studied all this stuff for many years and it's all good and well applying it to myself, that's the easy bit. Now I find myself in a close relationship I'm being challenged to see if I can really put it into practise! Not quite so easy..... Mr S is a very loving guy but has a certain neediness I find difficult having been on my own for so long and used to pleasing myself. I'm seeing exactly what they mean when they say relationships are like holding up a mirror and showing us what we are and I have so much to learn. However I see this as a chance to grow which I really couldn't do if I continued in the solitary way I was living with little interaction with anyone.

I have been further exploring the village and we have a beautiful lake with an abundance of birdlife. The village church is simply amazing and has a thatched roof. I have images of walking to midnight mass on Christmas Eve through the snow then back to a roaring fire. This place really is utopia and I wonder how on earth I landed here?!

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Good morning kids,
Up by 6:30 with Matilda the farm dog

Greetings Rusty & Chill!
The Eckhart 'Uncourse' is free Chill. He is one odd little character to watch & listen to but in the end he makes the most sense to me
I hope you can find a way to deal with Mr S's neediness without compromising yourself. Honestly, I ended up feeling YB needed a mother, coach, personal cheer leader more than he ever need a wife. No wonder my emotional needs have never been met where he is concerned. I wanted a loving husband, partner in life & friend. He needed a Shrink, still does. I'm left here wondering why I accepted so little

I sure wish this weather would improve....getting boring. Dark, damp, hot & humid again, yuck.
I'm ready for that clean, crisp & fresh air of Fall

Have a great AF Thursday!

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober September

Good morning to all...

Thanks for the great responses to moderation versus abstinence. It is good for us to reflect on our own experiences and for others who may be lurking to read our views...

Rusty, you are entitled to your views, and really, no one knows what works, even in the addiction treatment community...AA has a horrible relapse rate and so do all treatment programs. It is always good to be open to everyone's views.

Lav, I agree with your feedback on RJ, she did research and hoped that the combination of a daily pill, supplements, and hypnotherapy would allow her to moderate. Maybe she just decided alcohol was just not worth it. I often wondered when she first started the program and described a night when she ed pour a glass on a week night and then did not finish i;, why would you drink on a weeknight, working and having kids to care for? Maybe it was just a process for her, over time, that she was done with alcohol. I can tell you are just done with alcohol, find no positive reason to even consider drinking it, buying it or serving it. It just may have taken RJ longer to come to that decision. It would be cool if she would give us feedback.

Cyn, great to hear from you, what a busy life you have. Please come and visit with your thoughts and beautiful writing style.

Chill, your feedback was pure you...straightforward, direct, and backed by your experience. I am on the same page with you regarding what we put in our bodies, food and alcohol, effects us and determines our thoughts, feelings and health. Alcohol consumpton kills so many, and yet it is minimized by everyday people and the media. However, we on MWO know a different reality.

Hey,I have to get ready for work so have a good day and I'll communicate tomorrow.

[cyntree]

Simply Sober September

Thank you everyone for the welcome back, you are all so patient with me. It's blissful to come here and have a 'soft landing' that someone described.

Chill, I think you ended up in Utopia because you created it. I so admire all the work you have done. And yes, probably there is now another layer of life to uncover with this new relationship. Gently stand your ground, but you can also be patient - he's probably wondering how he ever attracted you into his life, and is worried that you are a dream that will disappear!

I must say that I am thrilled to be by myself for a few weeks. My partner is a wonderful guy, a real partner, but also very high maintenance, and it brings up my karmic issue - for me to claim my space. (Hmmm, I guess the universe decided that I could use daily practice). But a break is kind of nice - plus, it has been an intense 'people' time these last few weeks, and that is always tricky for me. I am reading an interesting book (downloaded it on my laptop before my August trip) called "Quiet". It's basically a defense of Introverts, which I surely am, and it makes me feel that it is OK to say 'enough' to the constant pressure to be productive in the way that western society seems to expect...

Anyway, today I'm sending wishes to all that we will each honor ourselves and our bodies and our minds - I greet everyone -

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober September

How good to hear from you Cyn, I can certainly relate to the long sigh of finally being "alone with the dogs". Even I am busy (for me) these days, considering I am like a reed in gentle water much of the time. There is always a time for industry. Star, we do have a beautiful Fall, the mountains go well above 10,000 feet, and below the timber line there are huge bands of wonderful climate zones? a favorite is one with golden aspen, red oak, blue spruce and mixed pine, the views seem endless, astonishing, impossible. I did read over the discussion of abstinence on this thread and the Daily one. It may be a little confusing for some people as this is a section for thirty day Goals rather than Long Term Abstinence per se. For me I had to achieve thirty days, sixty days etc., more than once to figure my way out. It took me a while to see how different my experience was with and without alcohol onboard, that probably sounds absurd, but I had never tried to quit before, let alone had enough alcohol free time to really clear it from my body, mind, and spirit. Making an informed choice at this point is a no-brainer. Hello to everybody. Dill, I am so glad your grandchildren have you and that you know their mother is not necessarily lost, people get better. Love, Ladybird.

[itsmytime]

Simply Sober September

Hi everyone,

I am doing much better today after I realized that I am going through another episode of Post Acute Withdrawal Symptom and once I addressed why I was feeling like I was the thoughts of drinking went away. I just need to ride these waves when they present themselves and be stronger after each one conquered.

I know it's probably the stress of the party and to be honest having alcohol around isn't tempting me, it's the anxiety of planning etc. that is starting to stress me out. I am having the party at our house, it's my hubby's birthday and there will be lots of ppl, so I am just getting the pre party anxieties. I will be fine once it's here, it's going to be a great time and I have lots of family and friends helping out with food, etc.

This journey is like being on a roller coaster and no matter how positive you are, as I am a very positive, spiritual person. This addiction is tricky and I am prepared to do whatever to remain sober and that means getting through these emotional days.

I feel I am truly free from wanting to drink, it's just that my body and mind are still recovering. I need to remember this and accept it for what it is and not dwell on it.

have a great night,
IMT

[ChefRobaire]

Simply Sober September

Hey Everybody,
Just stopped by to say hey, and I sure am glad I decided to become AF....I feel like a million bucks! AF, diet and exercise...it works...much rather do this, than throw back 20 AB products every night, what took me so long?? Lav, you're fall air is right around the corner, I smell it!! Chill, I followed your threads many moons ago at a different point in my life. You were then, and still are a positive energy magnet...you did create your own Utopia....good for you, and keep the positive vibe coming!! Everyone have a fab day/night wherever you call home. I will arise early in order to feed the masses their porridge, et al.. Chef

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Chef, I'm glad to see you here as well
Are you getting any of the DNC foodies?? Do they like porridge? :H

Greetings LBH, cyn, Star & IMT!

Glad you are feeling better today IMT. It takes a while to learn what to do with all the crazy thoughts & feelings that pop up when you start this journey. The best thing for me was to remind myself that thoughts are just thoughts & I don't have to act on them Push the unwanted thoughts right out of your head & move on to something else (aka distraction), really works!

Preparing to tune in the DNC.......
Gotta love poliics!

[Chillgirl]

Simply Sober September

Good morning guys
Happy Friday!

Lav - I signed up for the Uncourse and it looks a fun format, will need to wait till I have more till at my main computer as I can't get flashplayer on my iPad which is the old iPad 1. There is no danger of me putting up with any BS from Mr S. I didn't create this sober strong independent no nonsense Chill to be compromised. Although at times I could perhaps be a little less unbending. :H I think I your Lavantitude has rubbed off on me.

Chef - thank you for your kind words. Porridge is how I start every day! I make it with soya milk and a ton of blueberries and I swear it makes me feel amazing!

IMT - it's great to hear you feeling stronger. Yes a rollercoaster is how I would describe the AF journey. I would go from extreme highs to lows and surfing them is key. One of our favorite quote on this thread is "and this too shall pass", keep it in mind on the rocky lows because an up is just around the corner.

LBH - your description of your world sounds like Utopia too! There are no mountains here and Suffolk is virtually flat.. Its where the artist "Constable" painted his famous landscapes. We are enjoying an exceptionally warm September and the weekend promises us sun and 77 degrees!

Cyn - your book "Quiet" sounds fascinating. I have gone full circle in life, from a socialite girl who was married to a man who never paused for breathe and found the need to fill every waking minute with speech to now someone who loves solitude and comfortable silences. Were you always an introvert? I may need some advice on dealing with a high maintenance partner!

Star - you always provoke such great discussions. I would love to meet you face to face as I know you would be such a wonderful conversationalist. It's such an attractive quality to converse with someone who is interested in other points of views.

The day awaits, have an fruitful fun Friday everyone.

[ChefRobaire]

Simply Sober September

Good Morning All,
Have a great day, off to make many culinary masterpieces...be well...Chef