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**lushy** · March 13, 2007, 09:54 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

HI Rocky, I am not an abstainer but it sounds like you are going through one of those "phases" I hear about from some of the long-termers. I am sure they will come around with pearls of wisdom. Perhaps you are moving from the "I am so excited to be making this change in my life" to "I am now mourning the loss of my so-called friend". I hope it gets better for you. 45 days is so great.

And you made me laugh at the new avatar pics!!!

**Ripley** · March 13, 2007, 10:09 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Hi Rocky

always thought you had a bit of a "strong and silent" thing goin' on...

well, my husband told me last night (he, of the vile temper and famous mood swings) that since I had been sober his life had been, and I quote, "a living nightmare"....

I do think this may be a trifle overblown, given that he has his health, three beautiful and also healthy children, works for himself, we are comfortably off, have a lovely home, living relatives who are for the most part tolerable etc. As for me: I look pretty damn good for (nealry) 40, put up with his tantrums and wholly unreasonable demands night and day and only go beserk with PMT for 4 or 5 days a month (the last week as it happens.)

Nothing to do with being sober Rocky, Tell them to get over it.

K x

**southernbelle47** · March 13, 2007, 10:49 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Oh Rocky! I live with Grumpy already so you can't have that name!
He has the T shirt and cup!

When he is drinking add to the "list" hateful and nasty after the "fun" guy goes away!
It is so hard to be around people who are drinking when we are not, isn't it?
Try to remember that YOU are a better and nicer and healthier person now.
We will be your "family" as long as you need us.
I find that having MWO helps to tolerate the rest...
I find inspiration, acceptance, understanding and yes love from you guys.

Do something fun for yourself. Go fishing or take in a kids baseball game or something you enjoy. Do it every week so that you will have something to look forward to.

:l Nancy

**Rocky** · March 13, 2007, 11:51 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Thanks Kate, lush and southernbell...I appreciate the feed back.

**Beaches** · March 13, 2007, 12:15 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky,
I can relate because I too am pretty quiet until I start drinking then I become "fun". Some friends actually tell me they prefer me when I'm drinking.
Well the fun me quickly turns into the other me that caused me to find this place and get help.
I am not a long or short term abstainer but want to wish you the best

**Breez** · March 13, 2007, 12:34 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Aw Rocky....I don't like to see you sad!
I guess I gotta pull out that cheerleader from the closet that you & IAD lusted after again....

smile...know we all go thru it too. Congrats on 45 days!

**Guest** · March 13, 2007, 12:38 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

I have been called worse! LOL.... They can't have it all....once you're over the BIG hurdles, you will even out emotionally....at lest that is what I am telling myself....

**AAthlete** · March 13, 2007, 02:12 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky, first of all congrats on the 45 days!!

It has to be tough to come home to family that continues to indulge in the one thing that you are trying to stay away from. They can say lighten up because they are already 'lit' up; their version of fun comes in a bottle - and I can easily see how that might cause some resentment on your part.

Would your wife be open to trying to find other activities (besides drinking) to do with you? Maybe if you had another outlet and didn't have to come home to that situation all the time you would feel better.

Best of luck my friend - I am pulling for you.

**changing** · March 13, 2007, 04:01 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky.....I can really relate to your post and I am cracking up laughing at grouch and grumpy....could be me at the moment so you are not alone....I am sober and very sober at that for two months and 14 days now....Feeling great on one level and seriously grouchy and grumpy at the same time....Take it easy....keep up the good work.
45 days is a great achievement. BTW if someone made my dinner I would be thanking them and not telling them to lighten up..

I always think meal times are difficult as there is an association between alcohol and food etc...at least that is the way it is for me.....and thanks sea breez for the laugh....exactly what I needed tonight...Keep the heart up Rocky. You are great.

**YoungAtHeart** · March 13, 2007, 07:38 PM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Hey Rocky,

I wish you had more support for your sobriety at home, but heck, you do have us--quite the motley crew of ruffians, but so be it!

They're lucky they have you being somber--if I opened my mouth, they'd get an earful! LOL!

Take care, and congrats on your 45 days! It's a real accomplishment. I'll bet you make them nervous about their own drinking.

Kathy

**Bella** · March 14, 2007, 04:46 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky, drinking makes us lose our inhibitions so you feel happier initially and more relaxed and care free. I'm with AAthlete on this one because as he said your family had already had a few. Its so easy to say "lighten up" when your half-cut, they should "lighten up" on the booze! You are doing fantastically well to be 45 days AF. And soon you will feel more relaxed NOT drinking than if you were drinking. Anyway thats what i think. B

**ScoobyDoo** · March 14, 2007, 06:48 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Hmm... I couldn't agree more with what everyone else has said.

If I were in your shoes, and my partner and inlaws said that to me, I'd probably take it personally at first, but then realise how unthoughtful and careless the comments were.

So here you are, coming in from work while they're all getting sloshed - you cook them dinner and then have a comment like that throw at you? Grrrr

Your wife married you for who you were back then, which is most likely similar to the sober man you are today. Maybe you need to have a heart to heart with her, and tell her what you're feeling. You are who you are, and everyone quite clearly thinks you're absolutely fabulous here!

Raising my Mineral water to you for 45 days!

Doo

PS I read somewhere that it takes 43 days or so, for the brain to break the addiction cycle, and speaking from my past experience, I returned to drinking around about the 49 day mark, so just something to bare in mind. Stick with it

**stillcrawling** · March 14, 2007, 06:50 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

I am back and need that push to get going ...

**AAthlete** · March 14, 2007, 07:56 AM

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Consider yourself pushed, stillcrawling..

The hardest part for me was always that very first day. Getting rid of the hangover, getting into the right frame of mind, (for me) getting back into my workout routine.

Just give yourself that one day -- then you'll be on your journey again. Welcome back!! We're all pulling for you and and here for you when you need us.

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