December Determination ~ week 4

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ week 4

Hi Dill ~ cross post

[dill]

December Determination ~ week 4

Hi Lav! This is the second day in a row we've been posting at about the same time!

[Rusty]

December Determination ~ week 4

Hi Everybody!

Wow-we are all online at the same time.

Dill-thank you for your lovely post in response to mine.:h You and Mr. D are going on an Alaskan cruise, WOW!!! I am so happy for you. You have earned it, my friend. My aunt and uncle took that cruise last summer and the pictures they took! I would not be able to imagine such beauty. You were wise to not drink and drive, even if it meant isolating yourself. I did drink and drive, when I should have stayed home, many times. UGH. So glad those days are over.

LBH-I echo Dill's words in saying that I also could not have spoken so eloquently of the joy of a peaceful presence alone. It was a relief to get back to my condo on Christmas night and just sit by the fire.

Star-I also did not know much about Bronson Alcott until I read your post. I learn so much on this thread.

Rustop-regarding the holiday eating....I'm too chicken right now to put on any pants that have a waistband.:H Sweat pants will have to do until New Year's.

Pmom-do you have to go back to work on Wednesday? Do your co-workers know you're leaving. Ah, we are all so proud of you.

Lav-I don't know where you get your energy to take care of your grandsons and granddogs, but they sure are lucky to have you.

Well, must run now. I'm having a dinner party tomorrow night and I want to get the grocery shopping out of the way.

Have a fabulous AF Friday, everyone!

[ThreeDogNight]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning, everyone.

I am getting ready to leave for the flower shop, and will be glad to be out of the house after the snow day yesterday. Have to fax documents to the sttorney I chose to go with--more on that later--and am hoping the copy shop is open.

Will be back later to post. Thanks for making me a part of this wonderful group

TDN

[Rusty]

December Determination ~ week 4

Hi TDN!!

Good to see you! Let us know how it goes. I might send you a PM later in the day. Have a good day and best of luck to you.

Rusty

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ week 4

Dill an Alaskan cruise is a perfect retirement trip! It was one of my favorite vacations of all time, I took the "long" version through the Inside Passage and across the Gulf and went on the very last sailing of the year (to save money as usual)?it was stormy and wild but I loved it even though one event required some hindsight. A pricey splurge of a "pilots choice" four hour helicopter excursion only got to fly because there was no flight plan (probably not a good thing) and we had food for three weeks (three weeks?) in case we ran into trouble (and were still hungry). The pilot was a bit maniacal, he had spiked pink hair and a gaunt, spindly frame, not the usual bushy bush pilot. We blew all over the place in a blinding scary blizzard...my pictures are a thick snowy blurry moonscape, I could have saved money and just gone into any old storm in South Dakota on a bus. It was fun in any case (to land for the third and final time) and then go back to the ship and dress up for dinner as if nothing had happened. I am actually all dressed up at the moment after a formal luncheon that was LONG. ZZZZZZ. I should look quite out of place (but fabulous) at the Apple Genius Bar in a bit where I have an appointment to see if there is a fix I haven't tried for my suddenly ailing older iPhone 4 or if it makes more sense to get a 5 with my carrier discount. ZZZZZZ. All the complicated smart things on my phone work perfectly, I just can't hear the people who are calling me, you know actual phone stuff. Lord, I wish I was cuddled up in a chair at Rusty's. Love to everybody, stay safe in the storms. Ladybird.

[Chillgirl]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning guys

It's early here but we have strong winds which woke me and we are in for a stormy day.

Rusty - I loved your story so much. You are an inspiration and a great reminder how we must never allow silly pride to get in the way of good friendships. How wonderful that you reached out and how wonderful that your friend accepted.

Dill - an Alaskan Cruise! What a fantastic way to celebrate your retirement.

LBH - you do make me laugh :H I have a vision of you in long black evening attire floating into the Apple store.

Guys we have a powerful full moon tonight and it may cause us to feel more emotional than normal.

It's my friends funeral today and as I can't be there I will be lighting a candle in her honor. Although there is the awful situation as to who will look after her children, somehow that will get figured out and I just have this sense of relief that it's not her problem anymore. After a very troublesome life I see her with not a worry in the world. The very next day after she departed another friend gave birth and I was reminded of this circle of life.

[Stargazerlily]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning to all...

Lighting a candle for your friend is a meaningful way to honor her, and you are right, she is at peace. Hope you are doing OK.

LBH, interesting trips you have and at low rates too. I heard in your other comments that the beauty of life is in the contrasts: dressing up and socializing, then coming home and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Dill, great you have more time to visit on the thread, what fun, an Alaskan cruise!! Lots of time for the anticipation, which is part of the enjoyment of a trip. Thoughtful post about isolating when drinking and it being priority. It sneaks up on you, till you realize one day, or night, that it is the main activity in your life. YUK, no way to spend your time.

Rusty, how fun, a dinner party, I am sure it will be a great time. What are you serving? Your posts indicate you are in a relaxed and happy place, with time off and no traveling. You needed it! We all need time to relax and just be.

Lav, what a special time in your life, spending it with grandchildren so regularly. I know it is alot of work, but the relationships with your grandchildren will be strong. I had that and it made such a difference in my life: to be loved by so many adults.

Rustop, I don't want to weigh myself, just trying to eat less for right now. Hope your holidays are going well.

Struggling here with feelings of emptiness, not being enough, having enough activities, friends, and not feeling good about many things. The anniversary of my mother's death is always hard, and winter is such a closed in time. The holidays are over and looks like I will not be having grandchildren for a long time, if ever. It is just the time for that and it will not be happening. It is weird because as I was reasoning with myself, I realize that financially, right now, we are fine, healthwise, we are in an OK place (need to lose weight) and there are so many blessings. Does anyone else every get like this? I know it will pass, just like all moods do, but I hate to feel like this. Would love a little feedback.

Hello to TDN, Papmom, Cyn, and all. Have a great Saturday.

[ThreeDogNight]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning, all.

Loved Rusty's post, too. It's really amazing ho the whole thing worked out, with the friend calling. Reaching out to people and making amends is a great thing to do. I think that I need to make more of an effort there, myself.

Star, I can SO relate to your post! Feeling empty, not being enough, not seeing enough people--all is true for me. Yesterday I fought back tears while at the shop, but came home and cried off and on until I fell asleep at 8:00. I try to stay positive and focused, but feeling trapped here is very difficult. And knowing I am not in a good marriage is very painful. Tired of being the "strong one." Being strong for husband and many others contributed to my descent into Alcohell. I know that resentments are to be avoided, but just can't seem to stop them these days. This is not where I envisioned myself to be as I approach my 60th in February. Also was really missing my one dog who left us in November. Anothet thing I had to handle. Mr TDN thinks he is the one who is suffering from the loss, but I, too, am sometimes overcome with this. And I have the portrait I had painted of him over my desk. And Mr TDN has placed the urn ith his ashes on one of my small cabinets next to my desk.

Maybe that full moon is causing this, as Chill noted. And maybe it will pass soon. I hope so, Star

Only working until 1:00 or 2:00 today, then a few errands and back home. Sigh. Don't even have any friends here who might call and ask me to go shopping or to lunch, etc.

TDN

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning kids,

Waiting for the snow to start, it seems to be taking it's time getting here!

Dill, an Alaskan cruise sounds so nice, enjoy
That does sound like the perfect way to begin your retirement.

There are so many things I wanted to do & places I wanted to see but never got YB interested. I've taken several trips to Europe with friends or my daughter which were nice but not the same as taking a trip with your spouse. Star, those feelings of emptiness & not feeling good about things really hit me hard at the beginning of the month. Is it really too much to ask to just feel 'normal' once in a while? What is 'normal' anyway?
I know that I don't have the things I have always wanted ~ stable, close & loving, non-judgmental relationships. All of the material stuff is just fluff & unimportant to me TBH. I'm trying to keep my thoughts positive because I know what happens to me when I start feeling sorry for myself & I'm not going into that darkness again. I keep coming back here day after day to suck up enough strength to keep me going - thank you one & all

Chill, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that your friend is at peace now :l
Do her kids have their father in their lives or any other close relatives such as grandparents?

Rusty, have a terrific dinner party

Papmom, I guess the snow will hit your area tomorrow?? Are you as excited as I am? :H

TDN, we have a lot in common - holding everyone else up....who the hell is holding us up, huh?? Another reason I come back here day after day!

Greetings LBH, Rustop & everyone dropping by today.
Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday.
Lav

[nurdl]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good morning! I'm trying to catch up on all the news. Lav, please send some snow my way. I do miss it. I'll always be an upstate New York gal. Have a nice AF day everyone.
~n

[Rusty]

December Determination ~ week 4

Good Morning AF December Friends,

January is going to be quickly upon us. Any ideas for names?

Chill-I will light several candles for you today in honor of your friend. I have several Yankee candles and they will all be lit today and through the evening. Thinking of you at this sad time.:l

Star-Yes, I have had that emptiness and not enough feeling before....and I still do get it from time to time, and I just wanted to add that you may be suffering from the post-holiday blues. Even before I started drinking, I would get this HUGE letdown and depression after New Year's and it would last through January. I would compare my life to my sister's (she's married to a great guy with a great job and 3 great kids-an enviable social life) and I would feel like such a loser. I have Christmas trees with white lights on them and I find white lights to be very soothing, and I would leave my Christmas trees up, and all my decorations, until March. One huge thing that helped me was when my friend convinced me to update my condo...replacing brown, dreary hollow doors with white doors and trim. Now I love staying in my condo because I have truly made it a lovely and comforting environment. It doesn't look outdated and tired anymore, it looks lively and refreshing. Any chance you could make a few inexpensive changes to lighten your mood? As far as realizing you might not ever have grandchildren, that must be so very disappointing for you. Do you like animals? My friends who have just the one son who has Tourette's/Avoidance Disorder/Chronic depression are devastated because they will never have grandchildren so they got a miniature schnauzer puppy. They are both retired and don't do any volunteer work so the puppy takes their minds off their heartbreak about their son's neediness and hopeless situation. As far as what I'm serving for my dinner party, oh, dear, Star....you will not like my answer. My sister's beef stroganoff, salad, and fresh asparagus with Hollandaise. I can see Lav going "Eeeewwwwwww" right now to the beef stroganoff!!:H

TDN- I feel so badly for you that you are so unhappy in your marriage. I can see why you drank....to escape. Makes perfect sense to me. I will send you a PM later in the day.

LBH-I have the perfect chair for you to snuggle up in, and I will PM you a picture later.
I loved your story of going to the Apple Store in a formal dress. I hope you didn't leave a trail of sequins behind.:H My dinner party will not be formal. I'm going to build a huge fire, and we're just going to have hearty appetizers, food and good conversation.

Papmom-where are you? Are you ok?

Nurdl-hey great to see you back here.

A shoutout to Rustop, Cyntree, Jolie, and anyone I may have missed!

Ok, I must get going....lots to do before the party: dusting, vacuuming(sp?). I'll be back later, though. Have a great AF Saturday!!!!

[papmom3]

December Determination ~ week 4

Blech. Sick papmom checking in. Fever, head clogged and achy, cough, super tired. Blech.
And this was supposed to be my week for catching up and starting the new year with a clean slate. Blech.

My dear friend's son (the one whose hubby has brain cancer) texted me to tell me her pilot sun had crashed his plan in the southwest. Engine failure. He walked away with minimal injuries but you should see the plane! I can't believe he is alive!! She and her hubby flew out to El Paso (they had just gotten back!) right away to take care of him and help with the paperwork. They are coming back home tomorrow. He's staying at his new job as a corporate pilot. I don't know how he can fly again.

Hugs to Chill

Good eats to Rusty and her dinner companions.

Light and hope to Star

Exciting travel news from Dill!

Busy granny Lav!!

Hi Nurdle!!

TDN-I wish I had some good advise for you. At least you know the triggers and can steps to avoid them. Tough decisions ahead.

Time for tea and a nap.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ week 4

WELL IT'S SNOWING NOW :H :H

Crap ~ I could do without it......

Nurdl, I will package it all up & ship it to you

Rusty, I used to make & love beef stroganoff. The problem is beef stopped loving me
I've given up red meat & dairy because I absolutely had to to avoid being sick all the time....yuck.
I hope your dinner party is awesome

Papmom, almost everyone I know is C/O some sort of cold/flu/respiratory funk. Lots of fluids & Tylenol for you today. I'll check in on you later

[nurdl]

December Determination ~ week 4

Thanks Lav. It has arrived but looks like you mixed a little rain in with it. I'm sure the rest will arrive later. ~n