Joining the ranks

[truthiness]

Hi Monthly Ab's!

I have been stalking this site for about a month after I bought the book, cd's, supps and got an rx for Campral but wasn't truly ready to start. I thought I could cut back but soon learned that was not a possibility, at least not now.

Of all the different forums, I have to say that this one has the most positive, funny, real posts I have read. I realized this was the place for me because I needed to try the monthly ab's and not fool myself into the monthly moderation. So glad to be hear as you all are such an inspiration and look forward to adding to the positivity.

I am committed to doing it. I think I can do it. My question is, if i fail, can i keep posting here? My goal is to do 30, come hell or high water. I tried this back in feb, went one week w/out, one day w/, one week w/out etc...etc... Want to make it through straight this time and hoping y'all can help.

I love hearing about how good it feels to wake up sober. Waiting to feel that again. Thanks for all your wonderful postings and here's to a new week...:happy:

looking for truth,
truthiness
:fingers:

ps- will have lot's of smilies as still such a novelty to me. they crack me up...

[weemelonhead]

Joining the ranks

Mornin Troothy.......

Good to hear that you have a plan my friend.......use the cds and meds that you have bought....with the right thought processes in the old grey matter, they will help you along with this.
Its a good idea to go abs for a month to clear your body and brain of the booze, then you can start thinking about whether you would like abs or mods to be your healthy lifestyle choice....

Good to see you.....waking up sober IS the best......and if you think you are gonna have a problem with smilies...wait til you see a post from Jude....she is the smilie QUEEN!!!!

xx

[cassy]

Joining the ranks

welcome truthiness

I like you have tried on and off to get a grip,,didnt work. But guess what today i woke to day 35 of being sober... a fab feeling, off to pub...3rd night running for a pasta and soft drink... a walk by the river and home to bed Sober!!


i would never Have thought i could get this far... have to say not on willpower but using ..theis programme, faith / prayer ..with self discipling of carving time out to do the praying and spiritual reading, getting hubby and a mate on board..they are also 35 days into this...amazing.

Then there is filling the bewitching hours with activities other than boozing... I have to plan in some detail how i am to spend the bewithcing hours of 9pm onwards otherwise i will not remain AF for my goal of 40 days(the period of Lent) i started a few days before Ash wednesday.

a little scared where i am going with this when Iget to Easter Sunday ...day 40.
i expect i will panic big time as really want to moderate but reading the posts makes me realise that probably isnt possible for 99 per cent of people on this site....

so i will face that on day 40!! for now Its lvely to be all happy and guilt free...so why the niggle that i cant say NEVER AGAIN

good Luck... i figure more days AF is better than how I used to Be hope you can get going on AF too one day only at a time otherwise the task looks too big to handle

Regards Cassy

[truthiness]

Joining the ranks

Many, many thanks Melon and Cassy. I am blown away by those who can even go one week, so to say you are an inspiration is an understatement...

I know what you mean about the bewitching hour as mine starts around 2pmish, just as I'm sobering up. I suppose the worst are after i get home to an empty house and feelings I haven't dealt with lingering around the corners. I usually ignore them and go for the wine and the couch.

My new plan is going to be walking the dog for an hour, making a nice diner and snuggling into bed for a good long read. Your 35 days is inspiring to me. Great job!!! I will keep you in mind.

What do you do to fight that point when you start to feel good again and start forgetting how sick you used to feel? 'it couldn't have been thaaaat bad'...etc.? it gets me every time.

go 40!

[Determinator]

Joining the ranks

no Truthi, if you don't do perfect you have to pack up your computer and move at least 300 miles then try again. not! you won't find a more welcoming bunch of rascals. Yes, it's weird restructuring our "new" lives but so grand, your first 30 days will change who you are. I'm only on day 18 but can feel it happening. it's true that we start to feel cocky after we feel good again and think about stepping off the cliff again, so do what you can to remind yourself. I have notes that I've made in my shaky handwriting (during withrawals) that brings me back to that dark awful place as a reminder. Sounds like you are on the right track. Happy Sunday all.....

[Breez]

Joining the ranks

Hi Truthy~
Welcoming you here! I'm almost at 100 AF. I make monthly ABS my home as I make each month my goal to be AF free.

In those almost 100 days I did have 1 drink. I did reset my counting clock back to 0 (I was at like 67 days) but found it very depressing since it was only one drink and I had so many days that I eliminated that day & just kept counting. So as you see-Deter didn't make me move! I'm still here. LOL!

It's the first month that's the hardest and for some of us (like me) who just want to keep trudging along AF month by month - I like it here.

Welcome!

[Arial]

Joining the ranks

Hi Truthiness

Great to see you here too! - Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I ended up having a few drinks over the month, but I don't want to speak too loudly incase D packs me up and ships me off! :H

Have to say I did the same as SeaBreaz (wow, 100! way to go! ) and just knocked that day off my total count as it was just a glass of champagne on one occassion for my birthday and a couple of beers on the other - I counted them as learning experiences becasue both a) taught me more about myself and my inability to control moderated drinking and b) made me realise that abs is my route to go. I'm loving being AF (day 28 now) and am just not worrying about when/if I may try moderation - I love not facing the constant will I/won't I dilemna - It's been far easier to stop drinking now I've made the decision just not to drink.

As to how to get over that hump when you start forgetting how horrible it's been, for me I've found that the more days under my belt the greater my resolution. I've also found that keeping a store of memories (and write them down if it helps) describing in detail the feelings you have when you wake up hung over -again! - and also the wonderful feelings you have when you succeed, wake up with a clear head and feeling great. The motivator for me is the focus on what I want, not what I don't want, ie I want to be there for my children, I want to be healthy, I want to keep my job, I want to feel great, I want to feel the joy of just being alive and participating in life and I know I can't do this with drink being part of my live - it therefore again takes the choice away.

Other people have different motivators or strategies, so try everthing and you'll find what works for you - your obvious desire and determination to change will ensure you're half way there, and there are no 'failures' - just learning experiences if it helps move you that bit closer to your goals! Look forward to hearing how it all goes, so keep posting!

Congratulations to all for your increasing number of AF days - this forum is definitely one of my greatest motivators and source of inspiration so :thanks: and I'll see you all soon!

[Newyear]

Joining the ranks

Hi Truthiness - I love the name!

I started here in June last year. Drinking at least a bottle of wine a night. I tried and slipped and tried and slipped and tried again...and slipped. Everyone here was great..kept saying - ok, so try again. And I did. I have not had a drink now since Oct 27th.
Your plan of walking the dog and getting to bed early to read is a Great idea. Going to the gym has helped me tremendously - joined up for a trainer on Oct 28th

Glad you found this place - just keep the goal in mind and try not to get too discouraged if you slip here or there. You just have to try again. It is so worth it!
Wish you the best!
Lisa

[Newyear]

Joining the ranks

Seabreeze.....:rockon: Congrats on the 100 Days!!

Lisa

[rivergirl]

Joining the ranks

So Sad

Hey to all,
I am so sad today. I have just come back from our trip to Europe and my son's girlfriend now hates me. I am trying to learn from what happened and part of what I am feeling is that she is a selfish, high maintenance young lady. I do not want to feel that way - Never is anything one sided. I can be impatient and insensitive - and I tend to isolate if I feel that way - which can be very annoying.

A good thing is that I did not choose to drink throughout this trip = so I am now at 86 days. I sure idid have three separate times when I thought a drink would be a pretty darn good idea.

All this has made me feel so far from a state of grace - lost and vulnerable and confused. I am writing to try to find relief from these feelings and because you are all such good listeners. I am trying to say that all this will pass and I will feel much better if I let it pass without drinking.

I am listening to the CDs again - I did not bring them on the trip.

Thanks,
Rivergril

[Breez]

Joining the ranks

Rivergirl-what happened?

The point is that you were very strong and you didn't drink. You should be very proud of yourself. Many people would have buckled but you didn't. Good job.

[rivergirl]

Joining the ranks

Oh Seabreez, thank you so much. I also read with new eyes your G. elliot quotation. What happened. Heavens it is partly a miss match of expectations. The young lady has not traveled outside of our small state and does not speak Italian, does not like to walk much or quickly, does not like many foods that are prevalent in Italy and does not know much history. Her expectation was that the trip would be a relaxing, romantic and glamorous trip with my son. So well my presence was considered an intrusion I was the one who had the money and who spoke italian. She was increasingly upset with the long walks, the bad weather and the lack of comfort, I was impatient with my perception of her complaining and grumpiness. I know she would say that I has mean and lacked compassion. She did not speak to me for the last day of the trip and she had her Father come to the airport and pick her up the airport. It has been my sons intent to marry this girl - She now believes that I am evil incarnate. I tried to give them a trip they would enjoy and instead I may have permanently alienated my future daughter in law.

I believe that we have the ability to influence the events in our lives and to change the outcome if we exert the right energy. Perhaps right now I am too tired (Got home at 2AM and got up 5:30 AM went back to the airport for a business trip) Tonight I will listen to the tapes - take a hot bath - have a nice dinner and read a light book before sleeping - Perhaps tomorrow I will feel stronger and more together.

Thank you so much for listening!
River

[Breez]

Joining the ranks

Isn't it usually the girlfriend who wants to impress the mother of her boyfriend? Geesh!

I wouldn't give her another moment of your time. She seems like a real prima donna. It was a trip that just didn't work out. In time you can work out the differences. If she couldn''t see that you did this trip out of kindness, well it was her loss. I'm sure your son took notice.

Pamper yourself -enjoy your bath-tomorrow is yet another day!

[Determinator]

Joining the ranks

ditto what SeaBreez said

[Newyear]

Joining the ranks

Hey Rivergirl- welcome home! I would have loved that trip ( can I come next time)?
Travel can be very trying. You can get past this with her I'm sure. If she does become your DIL, then parhaps,,,,maybe....in a few years, you will have the story to tell over Thanksgiving dinner. You never know how things will turn out.
It is hard not getting irritated in situations like that even when everyone has the same idea aboutwhat is fun. Don't stress too much about it. Learning experience for her - apparently she would rather take a cruise than a walking tour of (insert any country here)-and now she knows that about herself.
Relaxing bath sounds great - take it easy.
And a big HUGE Congratulations for doing all of that sober. You are a Godess in my book :l
Lisa