af Tuesday 7 May

[TheSunFlower]

af Tuesday 7 May

So much good stuff going on here!

TT-its really hard to learn and not get caught up in things....and then to not have your mind snowball into things. I've been working hard at holding my tongue.....so I don't add fuel to fire. Not always successful!

Porq....Multi-Quote....really??? Amazing what technology can do.

Learning.....no you don't get off that easy....I doubt we really eject anyone from here....or I would have been gone long ago. We are here for you.....and stop beating yourself up. It really is a journey.....one I made the extended route on.

YAH....I really believe the date is the one you feel in your heart. Its the one you choose....I don't believe in rules. But again....I don't count days or even care about the specific date. I don't care to celebrate "the day I decided to stop being an idiot".

Verbal Abuse does take many forms....I was one to dish it out. But, it really was a reflection of the bullshit I was telling myself.

I am going to post this....then tell about my day....I lose too many posts!

[TheSunFlower]

af Tuesday 7 May

Yesterday....I got an amazing massage from a friend....work and school.

You really would not know that I was in Massage School.....as right now....the classes are truly a journey into the self. I may have been really good at reading about some of this stuff (even in therapy) but, never truly internalizing it.

Each class goes deeper into yourself. It is an amazing process. And they give you "homework"....that truly gets you feeling. Today for some reason.....I really felt the veil lifted....I could see my life as it unfolded....and what a beautiful thing it is. Even swarmed with addiction.

I could also see why some therapies did not work for me.....as they did not resonate with my true self.

All that stuff is great. The change in me really shifted in a meeting with my boss. As we are droning on about corporate stuff that he has to drill me on....and really drill me on. He said to me....."If you just squeezed people another 25% for the sale, you could make so many more sales and MAKE MORE $$".

My response was.....I will never "squeeze someone for a sale". "Why you could make more $$".....as we talked (at least I was talking....he was directing). I looked at him and said....."You are asking me to cross a line with a core value of mine and I will not do it."

As he was telling me....'what would be perfect for a prospective client".....I asked him....have you met them? Do you know their goals? Do you know their personality? He had to answer no....then how could you know anything about what is perfect for them?

I simply told him I would not do what he was he was asking, explained why.....and he agreed! Because I never "squeeze someone for a deal".....I look for long term clients I can actually help. I would not lower my standards to get "deals" to fit a corporate mentality of churn and burn in 3 months.

All of the clients I have.....have signed long term deals with me.....and they do not cancel. He just looked at me and said...."I think I have alot to learn from you".

I feel like I am evolving and being able to speak my truth. I like who I am today.

[YoungAtHeart]

af Tuesday 7 May

Oh, Sunflower, I am so proud for you! Isn't it great when you can just speak your truth? Well done, my friend!

Lav, I am sorry to hear about your cockatiel. I grieve with you. I love birds in the parrot family. They are special little friends.

[porqoui]

af Tuesday 7 May

LTLW...nope, no ejection seat on this thread. As SF says, it's a journey and we're all taking it together. :l

YahYah...I would just leave your signature alone. They're just numbers. What really counts is how you feel and judging by your posts you're doing great.

KY...yup, will pm the info. Question: Does the relapse date have to be exact?

Lav...sorry to hear about your Cockatiel. :h Life on life's terms. Looking forward to seeing the pic, it'll give me an idea what to expect. That is if it actually shows up. Spoke with Parks and she said she's waiting for "Operations" to place the order. Oh the joys of organizing.

SF..."I like who I am today." Now that should go in the Signature Line. I too am proud of you and what a great response from your boss. You must have felt on TOP of the world. :h

[kuya]

af Tuesday 7 May

A quick hi to say 'high five' to SF

I have spent my career unwilling to compromise my integrity for money. Whilst that currently creates a problem, having opened my practice at the beginning of a recession, I have had a career which has been rewarding emotionally and professionally.

SF keeping your integrity is priceless, both for your own well being and as guidance to your children, colleagues and friends.

Truth and sincerity can NEVER bite you in the arse !

[Determinator]

af Tuesday 7 May

Ahoy Aberoooos!

Turn, what a lovely post yesterday and I'm reeling with envy.

Lav xxxx so hard to lose a pet, sorry to hear.

if yer having trouble finding L-Glut on its own you may find a better quality whey protein that has a significant amount in it. I find most folks don't get sufficient aminos anyway so it's a shotgun approach to better nutrition all around.

still getting caught up. keep up the great work everyone!

ps.. been getting some great results with hypnotic regression therapy lately...will post a note on that soon.

be well everyone

[TheSunFlower]

af Tuesday 7 May

Kuya...thank you. My integrity has kept me intact....but has put my family through many trials.

I have always done the right thing....but, the push from corporate America has cost me a job.....losing my job over it. Putting my family in a bad place.....

[Catbuddy]

af Tuesday 7 May

Mae, all.

SF, what a wonderful post, and congratulations on finding yourself. When you say internalize, it reminds me of tonight when I was thinking the opposite. When I step away from myself lately, and see the whole situation in my life, the things that need to change or that are succeeding become obvious. It's quite a relief.

LTLW, of course you don't get ejected, and never quit quitting (nod to K9). Lav is right, though. It's always a decision. I think an AF life is scary/unappealing early in the quit, and may remain so. If that is the case, you will always choose to drink again. I think embracing the lifestyle is the real key.

Of late, I've been thinking about how wrecked my life was becoming when I drank. So for me, I think it was easier to walk away from that disaster and toward a better life. The power of seeing rock bottom.

Today my colleague made a joke in our staff meeting, "yeah, well you (meaning anyone) would do that with a glass of wine." Without even thinking, I turned to him and said, "I don't drink." This is a man I've broken bread and shared wine with many times. And since quitting seven months ago, he has never seen me drink since. He looked so shocked I wish I could have taken a picture. The good part - I was proud, not ashamed, of the statement.

Quit dates - I don't know why they are so important; with all honesty, I do track and want to celebrate mine. I think embrace whatever date feels right. If I was sober for five years, drank one weekend and got back to sober, I think I would still say five years with a slip that I recovered from. Isn't that what's important? You recovered your senses! Well done.

Compromising and boundaries. I'm starting to erect mine. Too slow it seems, I'm buried with work, chores, etc. I'm a single mom working full time in a demanding job with a commute and a disabled ex. How's that for a run-on sentence. Crap. This is going to be an overcommitted time in my life. But I can challenge myself to prioritize better. I'm just eager to clean up my life now that I see it from sober eyes, and find it hard to not do it all at once. But not as hard as quitting AL. So I can. More to come as I shed my knickers from above my pants. So Mick, I think my ambitions for a garden will have to go.

Lav, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Kuya, I will send you my details. I'm interested in what you learn!

:l

Cat

[learningtolovewinter]

af Tuesday 7 May

Lavande;1502675 wrote: Good evening Abbers,

LTLW, drinking AL is a choice, never an accident or necessity. When we really & truly understand that concept then things change. We always have a choice to handle stress in a different way. It takes practice but you can do it ~ I did

Lav

Hi Lav- gosh sorry to read about your birdie. I have a bad habit of adopting elderly pets to give them a 'dignified end,' but boy is it ever not fun when that end comes. I feel your pain, we have lost 3 pets in the last 3 years. The next dachshund is gonna be a puppy. I said I would never do that again, but they just pass away too soon!

And you are right on the money saying AL is a choice. Yup. It takes practice- very good words to have in my mind. Drawing and painting is the same, practice, practice, practice. Thanks!