july week 2

[Stargazerlily]

july week 2

Good morning...

Wow Lav, your weather sounds extreme! I was so happy to finally have some sunshine as we have had more than normal amounts of rain this summer. A nap sounds like a good idea, I took one yesterday and felt really relaxed.

Dill, glad to hear your grandkids are enjoying the outdoors and you too. It was just gorgeous yesterday. I turned another friend onto Kristin Hannah and she is reading a book I have not even read! I hope to have time to read today.

We are going blueberry picking today!!! Then a farmer's market. Hopefully pool this afternoon and an evening bike ride. Could never do all this if not AF, it would just not happen. Life is to be lived, not nursing a hangover.

To all, have a great day.!

[Lavande]

july week 2

Good morning friends,

Still dark & damp here, yuck!
There's been some much rain all around the PA, DE, NJ & MD area large trees are falling over causing all kinds of problems. There's been a building collapse or two in the Philly area. My chickens have the muddiest feet I've ever seen

Glad you enjoyed your day Star - sounds nice
The nap thing never happened for me - oh well.

The 4th heat wave of the year is on the way next week. So even when it does stop raining I won't want to go outside - boo hoo. I really resent feeling like a prisoner to the weather :H

Have a great AF Saturday everyone!
Lav

[dill]

july week 2

Morning!

Star, I finished Night Road. Hannah really tackles and portrays well the complexities of human emotion and relationships! I'm reading another book right now that is very good called Best Kept Secret, by Amy Hatvany. It's the story of a divorcee, single mother who turns to wine to help her cope. It describes the nature of this addiction and how it pulls one in and slowly destroys everything in its wake. It's very well written and I recommend it highly. It is sad, of course but in the end it is about human triumph over adversity.

Lav, I am so sorry you are having such horrid weather. We've been having some glorious weather here, so I'll try to enjoy for the two of us. I'll pull a weed or two in the style of Lavanitude! I got your PM and will reply when I have some time to myself. Right now I'm watching the g-daughter and sitting with Mr. Dill on the deck.

Hope to hear soon from Cyn, Rusty, Pap and Witts and anyone out there who would like to join in!

[Lavande]

july week 2

Good morning friends!

So humid here can't see out he windows - they're all steamed up
No break in the forecast either!

My brother's passing one week ago & the family being divided on what happens next has served as reminder to me to let go of what we cannot change. I am choosing not to internalize all this & just let it go. My family will be forever changed & that's the way it has to be.

I am going to gather some supplies for the coming week, probably won't be able to do much of anything outside today. I tend to melt down quickly in high heat & humidity.

Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday!
Lav

[Rusty]

july week 2

Good Morning Everyone,

It's been a good while since I checked in, and just wanted to let you know that I am here and well.

Last week, I was in a depressed funk, but I think I am on the mend. I was with my new client 4 days straight last week, and our days were very intense...no time to think of anything else. I made a mistake with my new client...but have learned from it and have moved on. He told me not to lose sleep over it, but I always beat myself up. I am enjoying our 14th straight day of fabulous weather, and today I will run along the lake path, swim until I grow gills, and do some housework.

Lav- I hope your weather improves. Are you going to have a relaxing day or are you on family duty? Sorry your SIL is choosing to do nothing for a funeral, service, etc. GEEZ. You were in my step last Saturday as I was with my closest friends, celebrating their birthdays and our 25-year friendship. They have always been highly cynical people, and Saturday night, after 4 hours of non-stop negativity, I blurted out, "UGH! I just want to go home and jump in my pool!!" I thought of you because they are a lot like YB. I've given them articles, suggested books, etc., that SPEAK RIGHT TO THEM, but they don't see it, and won't accept outside suggestions. So, I've decided to set some emotional and physical boundaries. They will never change, so I must change my take on them. I learn a lot from you, Lav, and thank you for always giving us resources to make our lives better, rather than let us remain in a state of inactivity and ineffectivity.:l

Last Saturday night was the major reason for my funk, and I think last week I was grieving the acceptance that these dear friends pull me down, and I really have to limit my time with them. Well, it was a lot like giving up AL. An acquaintance of mine who has been sober for 11 years told me the reason people get depressed about giving up drinking is that they feel they've lost their best friend, because they spent so much time with IT. I know I haven't lost these friends for good, but I will not be making the first move in getting together. Thanks for listening, Lav, and everyone here!!:h

Dill-I am going to order Best Kept Secret immediately. I thought of you, too. One of the companies I do contract work with is putting on a Gluten-Free seminar in August in Dayton. How I wish we could hook up and go together, but I do not have a spare day in August. I think even for a carnivore like me, it would be helpful, as I am seeing the health benefits. I sure admire you for taking all the grandkid duty in stride.:goodjob:

Star-I hope you enjoyed the blueberry picking. Yes, I love enjoying the summer weather and waking up hangover free. I remember wasting weekend days like this, drinking.

Pap-hope you're having a fun weekend with your friend. Run, doggies, run.

Has anyone heard from Perse? She started her own thread in the General Discussion forum a few weeks back and she sounded really down. I will send her a PM today.

To anyone I missed: Cyn, Perse, and everyone else, have a splendid AF Sunday!

[Rusty]

july week 2

Lav, sorry....cross post. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.:l I have no words, other than than to say you are SO right about accepting what we can't change. I needed that today.

[Stargazerlily]

july week 2

Good morning to all...

Lav, that good weather has to come your way soon! I just took a morning bike ride and it is HOT already. But, that's summer. I love the way kids just don't let it bother them. It would be hard to have no service for your brother, some people just cannot deal with grief and it will eventually have to be dealt with. I second Rusty in saying thanks for sharing your ideas and links. You are totally right, you, me, we, us, all have to accept what is, what else can we do? Some days are easier than others.

Rusty, wow, it is too bad that your friends are so negative, but I totally understand. I also find it hard to find individuals who are easy to be with...but negativity for an entire evening? No way. Do you think that sometimes we outgrow people? Just a thought.

Dill, I will definitely see if the book you recommended is at out library, sounds good. Glad you are finding time to read and liked Ms. Hannah.

To all, have a great day.

[Rusty]

july week 2

Star-yes, I think we outgrow people, and these friends are 66 and 67, and have a "poor me" and "life's not fair" attitude....although they will not admit it. They have infinite resentments that have clouded their prospective for years. I've tolerated their attitudes for a long time because they have been SO good to me...stuck by me through job losses, comforted me when my dad, brother and best friend died, and did not desert me even though my drinking almost destroyed our relationship, etc. As far as the evening being ruined, I cut it short at 8:15 p.m.:H We've had more many more good times than bad over the last 25 years, and I hope there will be more good memories to come. Thank you for responding so quickly, Star. I appreciate it. Thank you for bringing me ENTIRELY out of my funk.

Witts-Belated congratulations on your new grandchild!! I am sooo happy for you.

Perse-we haven't heard from you...hope you're ok. And now onto your PM, as promised.

I'll be back later....it's been a heavenly AF Sunday so far.

[Lavande]

july week 2

Hey kids,

Just checking in before bedtime.
Had another 3 H day today......getting boring! At least I remembered to run some frozen veggies & ice out to the chickens

Star & Rusty, I do believe we outgrow some people even relatives.
I have worked damn hard to haul myself out of the hell of depression, drinking & acquired negative thinking pattern. I am not about to allow anything or anyone drag me back down into all that. I don't know about you guys but I am sure that I do not have anymore quits in me
I have to do what I have to do to keep myself happy, healthy & functioning at this level

OK, wishing everyone a good night!

[Rusty]

july week 2

Lav, you are a night owl! Glad you're up! I've been working for my biggest client for the last two hours and needed a break. Thanks!

You're right. I had to CHANGE my thinking and you were KEY in helping me do that, and so was this thread....with the caliber of bright, educated people we have on this thread, everyone here helped me to change. But I had to get to the point where I WANTED IT SO BADLY. The friend that I mentioned won't even consider an online support group! Your situation with YB convinced me that even loving friends can't help a person who does not want to be helped....it took me YEARS to accept this, and now finally, I can. It's a relief, ya know? Why should I be a co-dependent?

Last week was so stressful, so emotionally draining, that I cried, and I just allowed myself to feel sad, and it felt soooooo good NOT to have that craving, that previous habit, of drowning sad/uncomfortable feelings in booze. Part of my sadness was seeing my mother and knowing she won't live forever, and she has been 98% of my free time/social life for the last 8 years or so since I broke up with my long-term beau. I just thought today....she's a perfect reason to remain AF because I've proven to myself that I CAN handle stress/anger/sadness without leaning on AL, and when it is time for her to go...I will be in a much better place to deal with it, process it, react to it, and act when needed. Although sad earlier in the week, I was SO happy today, as my mom feels good enough to go to Maine and visit her family. She and my sister leave on Tuesday.

Off soapbox now and off to bed.

See you in WEEK 3.

[Rusty]

july week 2

Lav, I'm gonna text you at midnight and see if you're still up. HAHAHAAHAHAHAH. Go to bed, will you?