Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, I know you are going to kick my ass!

J-Vo, nice to let your feelings out.. Hey, the drunk sex thing....I was the same way. I will post more about that later, ok?
Pav, you are kickin butt! What a strong woman you are!

Dottie, that is so nice of you to rescue this dog.

NS, thanks for your great posts.
LB, yours too.

Goodnight sweet ladies.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, I think it's just a random quote for each day. Hope everyone is well. Nar, sounds like you've gotten some clear understanding after this last bit of wine. Dottie, I admire you and wish we could do the same. There are so many needy love-filled animals out there. xo all

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

blimey

ive read the last three pages and promptly forgotten most of it.

but. no sugar, yes, it retrospect. it was obvious. and i still believe i write shit, but its MY shit!!

ava, hope you feel better. must have been something you cooked.

j-vo, sober crabby is better than drunk crabby! there, pearls of wisdom just keep coming :H

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Rox i dont cook, maybe thats the problem. Son is learning to so maybe it is him.

Hope you are doing fine and dandy!

You talk a lot of good stuff.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone; so grateful to be sober today - last night was the closest I came to caving! It is unbelievable how the feeling can almost overpower you.......and also the fact that my first 20 days went relatively smoothly.
So glad I rode it out and even sitting here now, relieved and happy, I feel like I was taken over by something; all logic out the window; I will take what happened yesterday as a valuable lesson.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Narilly I am glad you're home. And glad for your renewed determination. It doesn't take long and then you are right back where you started out. I remember very well.
Ava hope you are better today. Your son is learning to cook? Good.
Dottie I hope all goes well with your new pup.
Daisy I well remember that overwhelming urge to drink. I have fought it a couple of times since quitting. Whew. I do think I am stronger for it though. Good job. It can be done and the sense of pride afterwards is rewarding.
Roxy I enjoy reading what you post.
I'm off to work so I will catch up with everyone later. Have a good one.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Daisy
So glad you didn't decide to drink and that you had tools in place for dealing with how you were feeling. Did you consider coming on MWO? Posting what you're going throughbefore you drink can often be just the brake that is needed. Anyway, it is something to consider if the situation comes up again for you.

Welcome back, Nar
I'm sorry your trip didn't go as planned in terms of drinking but it sounds like you had a good vacation. Being in the warmth must have been wonderful. It didn't seem like being AF at home was too much of a struggle for you so maybe you'll just need to work on handling vacations.

Glad you came back so quickly, too, Roxy.
Maybe you could post your plan for dealing with those feelings of boredom and get some feedback.

Thanks for the CSL quote, Humble. It is so true that surviving temptation does make us stronger. It is tough to go through those events but they are so empowering and then similar things that come up are so much less scary. I feel kind of silly now about what I worried about early on --- as if most people notice or care what or how much we're drinking. Believe it or not, our drinking really wasn't the center of the universe, even though it felt that way at the time .

Have a good MAE - NS

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well, this morning they cancelled school after I took a shower and dressed. We have lots of make up days! So I undressed and went back to bed. Oh, so easy for me to do. Anyhow, I must have been thinking about DS, as I had a really bad nightmare. I dreamed I first caught him smoking cigarettes, then pot, then drinking. In my dream, I was distraught, then screaming at him, crying that I didn't want him to grow up to be like me, an alcoholic. I don't know of any time that he's done any of that. He has asthma, and plays basketball, and I've never smelled anything funny on him. And I've never smelled booze on him, as I would be able to smell it now, He's a straight A student in honor's classes. But that doesn't mean anything. Anyone can become addicted to anything at anytime. He's 16, and I guess I'm afraid he will have the gene that lacks a switch. What an awful nightmare. I was pretty shaken when I got up. I don't want him to go through what I did. Ever. And so, why would I ever want to continue putting myself through that hell? I deserve better, and I will look at it that way. If I wouldn't want my son to go through it, whom I love more than life itself, why would I want that hell for myself anymore? I love myself and I will not do that to me anymore.

Welcome home, Nar, although you were much closer to me when you were in Orlando. I'm glad you had a wonderful vacation and enjoyed the break from ice and snow. And NS is right. You've got the AF lifestyle at home, which is where we are 99 percent of the time, and so you know what your trigger will be. Vaca still scares me a bit, but that's going to take lots of work. We missed you!

Roxy, you're such a valuable Loamer here. You fit in like a glove. Please post when you're feeling down, lonely, bored, or whatever. I know I'm so guilty of not asking for help when I need it most.

How are ya feeling, Ava? Did you piss your son off a bit and he tried to poison you? I'll kick his ass! JK!

Daisy, that's true. All logic out the window. Brain out the window. But as Humble's quote said, keep resisting temptation, and you'll get stronger.

LB, did you recover from the doggie parade??

Hi NS, Humble, and all Loamers!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning, Loamers:

J-Vo - I have those vivid dreams, too. I HATE how jarring it is to wake up from them and to shake off the terrible feelings that dreams like that bring. One thing about dreams - supposedly the characters in our dreams are versions of ourselves. Maybe all of the concern and love you were feeling for your son in your dream is actually meant for you right now - the feelings of fear and anger can strengthen your resolve to take care of yourself and stay sober!

Thanks for all of you who commented that I sound strong. I am by nature a stubborn person, and once I set my mind to something and tell people that I will do X, I tend to do it as I don't want to prove myself weak. I think that is in some regard the opposite of strong - I rely on outside opinion a bit too much. That is why it is important for me to tell my therapist, my husband and you all that I will not drink - you are all giving me the external motivation when I am lacking the internal motivation. So far, every time I have been tempted I have managed to get to the point where I am asking myself why? Why just a drink? Why not just no drinks? I know it wouldn't take me long until I was up to my old ways, and there is NOTHING good that can come of that.

NS - about early worries. A drinking buddy who moved out of town came to visit yesterday and brought me a bottle of vodka (normally we would have cracked right into that). I told her that I hadn't had a drink in more than 2 months (!) and she was amazed. She kept saying how great I look and how she would try to use me as inspiration. I have yet to encounter someone who tried to goad me into drinking - maybe I am at an age when we all are contemplating our health and can see that alcohol in any kind of quantity is not good for us. It also tells me that people maybe saw more of a problem in me than they let on, and more of a problem in themselves, perhaps.

All of that, plus I don't want Ava to come kick my ass.

OK, back to my book and lazing on my couch. I need to get some external motivation to get up and clean house, but I'm not sure it will come today. We'll see!

Ava - WAY TO GO on 80 days. I hope you are feeling a lot better (an I hope your son didn't spike the food!) Only 20 more days to that coveted three digit number and "long timer" status. Whoot!

Take care, everyone. Happy Tuesday.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

New puppy, Maddie, is doing well all things considered. He got acquainted with the "girls" today and we went for a little walk in the back yard..still snow covered but we were fine..I need new boots.
Heading out later to a dinner at the hospital. All the folks who worked on the train display over Christmas are invited. DH and I like to do this...the little kids are so much fun....at a distance..
Ava congrats on 80 days!!!!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers hello, well i am feeling better today,dont think i lost an ounze of weight though, starting to get love handles like Maddison so if its not raining this afternoon when i get home from work we are both going for a walk.

Daisy i am so sorry i missed 7 whole days, gees i would be peed off if someone got my days wrong. Congrats girl and so glad you did not cave and drink, we so dont want to go back to day 1. I cannot let my children down either and that is a great motivational factor to get through not drinking and you girls on here. I think i may have to start knitting a scarf also, they are easy and a no brainer really which is great for me!.

Dot sounds as if Maddy is settling in really well and great excuse for hubs not to move, i would be right onto that one too. How old is he?

Pav glad your vacation was af, gives me a definite postive with my holiday. I am positive i will not drink and there are not al thoughts creeping in of just "the one". I always wanted to go to jail for a rest Pav, i dont mind the laundry just dont put me in the kitchen. I just imagined laying in bed and reading though dont think its like that for some reason. Not that i wanted to go to jail for anything major, just a rest. I will tell my mum i am not drinking when i am 3 months af so not long to go. I am preparing myself for the negative though i hope there are none. I like you Pav am very stubborn, tell me i cant do something and watch out off i go. I think that is a good trait with giving up al. I cant fail at this, failed at a lot of things but drinking wont be one of them.

Jvo sorry to hear about the loss in your family. Funny how things just seem to happen week in week out and none of them good. I like you get sick of winter then we get summer and i get sick of the heat. We cant win can we really. I do love autumn and spring though!

LB hope you had a good sleep, there is nothing worse than being tired. I think i have slept more in the last few days than i have in months and it helped definitely.

Nar so glad to have you back and arse kicked swiftly and with force! I just cant imagine a hangover anymore. Why the hell would i want one of those to wake up too. I can imagine they are not fun. I do vaguely remember but its like childbirth,we soon forget and go back for more. I stopped at four thank god and i dont want anymore or hangovers for that matter. Happy though you are back here where you belong.

Humble great post, loved it and temptation is always there its just how we choose to deal with it really. I feel proud in myself saying No and actually carrying through with it. Glad you are well lovely.

Well i have ran out of time and need to get ready for work but will finish posting at work, if i can breath that is. There is a fuel shortage atm so i am hoping i can get some petrol to get to work. God i would be in shit if i could not get there.

big hugs to all and glad we are all posting again.
xxxx

[Marylou123]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, Pav, thank you so much. Today is much, much, much better. I had a long, soulful chat with my hubs last night and we were able to clear a lot of air.

Ava - big congrats 80. Seems like only yesterday it was 70. Does life travel faster when sober? Or is it that we have so much more time to fill with important, fun, frivolous, interesting stuff? Either way, I love it!

I bought a book on knitting, needles and yarn yesterday. Time to learn something new to keep me occupied and hands busy. Pot holders for everyone this Christmas. :H:H

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

80 Days Ava!! Yip! Yip! YIPEE!!

Dottie, I wish I could see your puppy.

Yes, girls,(as SL pointed out) vacation is a tough one for me. I guess I like routine way more that I thought. It is hard for me to be away from home and I guess I always feel a bit out of sorts on vacation. I am much more settled at home. I knew this was happening when I was on vacation and I still caved. I do feel bad about it but I did not get too out of hand so now I can just move on. I will have better strategies in place next vacay.

J-Vo, you guys get lots of days off! I know it is scary thinking of your son being prone to addiction like you. I am sure my son is also. He drinks like I did, I can see it. I tell him "don't be like me". My counsellor said not to tell him that too much because he will just say F.it and drink like crazy because he is like mom. Instead she said to tell him "I am proud of how you handled your liquor" OR "Its great that you are so responsible drinking" or something like that.

Daisy- good on you for not drinking. You are a strong woman!

Rox, keep posting.

LB, I could totally see me sliding into my old habit. OMG, it would be so easy. But there is no F'n way that is going to happen. I have been feeling hungover since Saturday (most of it is jetlag) but I know on Sunday I was hungover. I am am really being aware of this feeling and just letting it serve me as a reminder of what I DONT want to ever feel like.
I want to be the beautiful lady that NS posted before I left. That Picture looks exactly like my daughter. When I saw it I thought it was her! So neat. She is a beautiful girl for sure.

Anyway, back to work...actually I have to go pick up my hubby who just got a colonoscopy. He is always getting checked for the return of cancer. I am sure he is fine.
They are always checking him. MRI's, CT scans, Colonoscopy's, it is amazing the care he gets and we don't pay anything.

Talk to you later beautiful ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava,
Cross post. Thanks for the ass kick. I needed that! No fuel shortage here in Alberta. I work in the oil industry and we are doing pretty good these days.

Mary Lou, i love knitted dish cloths. Please make me one

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm posting I'm posting!

Though I have nothing to say.....