Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jvo, teenagers you have to love them. I got up to a messy house with bourbon cans on the coffee table and i left them there and had a chat to my son that if the mess cant be cleaned up and respected then his friends are not allowed over. I didnt yell or lose it like i would have done hungover. Its funny but today i feel truly grateful that i am af. Funny how our mind goes from being depressed and anxious to happy and euphoric. Blah!

The one wine thought also, hey you cant buy one wine so it would be a bottle, god i could not stop at one bottle and would have to buy two just in case. My daughters 1/2 bottle of wine is still in the fridge and she now wont drink at my house as she knows it will be too tempting for me. I keep it there to show how strong and determined i am to not drink and it seems to work this time around.

Cant believe i have already vacuumed and done some washing. Before i would be popping paracetamol and laying in bed thinking why did i do this to myself again and then at 4pm go to the bottleshop to start the whole vicious cycle again.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, isn't it amazing how we are so much calmer and can deal with situations better with a clear head. I'm so glad you're feeling grateful! What a wonderful feeling. But yea, the roller coaster thing is real for me now. But you know what, it can only go up from here.

Oh, the wine, when I sent my hubby on a wine run, he'd asked, "little or big bottle?" I would say, "If you're having any, (meaning two glasses) get me the big one."

Productivity, AVA! As I sit on my ass!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I love the way i can actually want and have a conversation with my boys without yelling and trying to remember what i said the night before and the boys not saying "gees you were pissed last night mum".

I was the only wine drinker at home so it was the 2 bottles all for little old me. I'm feeling for you that you had to share, i hated when my girls came over and i would look to see how much they were having and how much would be left for me. That was so sad and pathetic. Now i go off at the boys for drinking my iced tea and other drinks. Nothing is sacred!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh, Ava! There wasn't too much sharing, believe me, dear! When I got my "big" bottle, I'd make sure that hubby only drank two and the rest was for me. Oh, the sad nights that my son knew I was drunk. I hate the thoughts of it. Hate it. But I love laying around now, just us three, watching TV stone cold sober! We chit chat back and forth, get on my hubby's nerves (so fun!) and relax after a hard day's work. So, Ava, write your name on your ice tea! Write on the bottle, "back off my sweet boys or I'll beat your bums!"

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I agree with you girls. Wow, it is so much better being sober around my kids. I would just sit here watching tv, pouring wine in my glass until the bottle was done. I tried to tell myself they didn't notice.

Well, it ain't happening now. AL can suck shit!

Oh my, we are hilarious!

Avail- maybe buy extra ice tea...J-Vo- your big bottle days are done!

Hugs,
I don't drink

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh, by the way. I went to an after work party in the bar and we had free drinks and food. I drank 2 big glasses of cran soda, ate some food and left. No problem. These people are easy not to drink around anyway but it was still good to go and be AL free.

Talk soon,

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good for you Narilly!!!!!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

Sharing my post from the Nest for those of you who don't visit:

Slightly tough night tonight. Another work party - the hostess was making cosmopolitans (a former fave of mine). Then I got home and my son (11) had a melt down because he had forgotten to do something very important to him - and he was SO mad at himself. It was heartbreaking and sad to see him like that - a time I would normally want to numb myself with a drink. Then I was driving my other son to his guitar lesson and a song came on that took me right where I heard it last - a yearly trip we take with other adult friends. The trip is to a river and we spend a lot of time laughing and getting silly with no alcohol, and then a lot of time laughing and getting silly with alcohol. Every night we enjoy the sunset sitting in the river with beers. These are our best friends in the world, and if there are any friends with whom I will "come clean" (other than my bestie who already knows) it will be them, but I did get nostalgic for those good drinking times. Of course, there were a couple of times when we drank too much and were hungover the next day, but it didn't matter much because we all did, and then we all just went hiking in the clean mountain air and swimming in the river to revive.

As I mentioned before, you can't have a friend who is sweet as peaches every so often, but usually kicks your ass, ruins your self esteem, tells you how to live your life, bullies you into doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. I know I can't go back to that beer on the river - ever. That memory is a lie - clouded by the warm sun, cool river and good friends.

What I am doing to snap myself out of it:
1. Remembering ODAAT - that trip isn't until summer and I have a LOT of growing to do between now and then. Each day I am away from alcohol makes me stronger. Each time I face feelings like this, I build my sober muscle. I do not drink.
2. Posting the whole story here - I am not thinking I want to or can moderate. I am sharing my sadness - all part of the roller coaster of recovery (thanks to Gambler for that analogy). I do not drink.
3. I am eating. Boy, am I eating. I do not drink.
4. I am making plans for what to do instead of drinking. I just made a plan with my sons and husband to watch Elf tomorrow night, and I will be cooking a delicious and healthy meal to go with it. I also have a good book to read, an all-day hike planned for the first day of vacation, and ice skating on Christmas eve.

______________________________

I never really liked wine but DH and I liked our mixed drinks. By the end it was Vodka. Less hangover than anything I could find. I would also take a drink out of another bottle now and then if I thought my bottle was disappearing so fast that DH would notice. I guess he thought he was drinking more than he was as the bottles disappeared... He's the type of drinker who would make a drink and then lose it in the house!? WHAT? Never would I lose a drink. Or leave on half drunk.

Narilly - you make me laugh. Very subtle and edgy sense of humor. Love it.

NS - I was feeling weirdly strong until the last couple of days - these were the days I figured were coming, but you're right about declaring strength making it so. That's part of what I took from J-Vo's post that I quoted last night.

Avail - sorry I feel asleep on you last night, but it was 11:30pm my time. I am 8 or 9 hours behind you depending on the time of year - I can't remember which is which.

K9- Let's see that 'do!

Ok, all. Another epic Pavati post. Stay strong, and keep helping me stay strong! I think this next week is going to be harder than I thought, but I will not drink. I do not drink.

xo

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar it isnt that hard is it to not drink al, i said i had to drive which i did so did not have anything. I think it is the thought of being around al but once in the situation it is okay.

All good Pav, I must put people to sleep ha ha. Its hard when we are in a different time zone and i grab every convo i can get at night time.

today I decided to start cleaning and everytime i got off my butt i would do something so two toilets cleaned, one shower, dishes done, floors vacuumed, washing done and went shopping with my daughter and had a coffee so a good day. My day with Al would definitely not have achieved much at all, maybe the dishes and a load of washing.

My sons friend was going to bring around a bottle of wine for me for xmas and my son told him that i was not drinking and would probably hit him over the head with it. Good boy i thought to myself. I do not need any form of temptation.

I'm so glad we are all doing so well, not drinking definitely is achievable with support from you guys.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
NS, what you say rings so true that while drinking we were liars and cheats, but no more, so we can begin to trust ourselves and be confident and not scared. Thank you. J-vo, I know what you mean about stepping into new territory like this, so I'm going to consider it an adventure. That might help. I know an alcoholic (dead now, burned himself up and his house down smoking while drunk) who quit for a year. Everyone said he was the sweetest man during that time. When he was drinking the rest of his life away, he was an angry, pained soul. His story scares me.

K9, I'm taking a lesson from you on the shoe thing. I almost stopped at the bargain store yesterday for a pair of tall boots since I already have a great pair of shorts ones, but stopped myself! How's the Halle do?

Available, so great you have your daughter to text you through those hard times. At times, we all seem so close to each other here, and yet your talking about the heat points up our distance--it's snowing in the great Pacific Northwest. I woke up to an inch or more here and it's still coming down. About the wine in the fridge, I knew a guy who kept one beer from his last bender in the fridge for years. It's probably still there.

About how much we had and who bought it, the only time my husband bought me alcohol was after my son died, when I didn't leave the house for 3 weeks and drank until I slept, then got up and drank and smoked pot until I slept again. He bought me big bottles. What a horrible experience. My poor son must have been beside himself watching me doing that!

Nar, I love reading about others' success at gatherings. Good for you. Pav, thanks for the flexing the sober muscles analogy. I think about that all the time, and I appreciated your repost here, good one.

Well all, it is early here, before 7 am, but I think I'm going to take the dogs out and enjoy the snow while it lasts. In typical Pacific Northwest fashion, the rain is coming right on the heels of this beautiful white blanket.

Have a great AF MAE all!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning, Folks--

On my way to work, but I wanted to share this post from Sunbeam in the tool box: 101 Things to do to Keep Yourself Clean and Sober. It is a great list (scroll down the page to Sunbeam's post), but she cut and copied it and made her own list, deleting what she didn't want to do and adding what she did.

Happy Friday. I will see you here tonight!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Girls,
Last day of work until Jan 2. Woot! Woot! I've got plenty to keep me busy, plans in place and no alcohol is in these plans because I don't drink!

Pav, I loved your post. I like the fact that you don't just tell how you feel, you state specifics of what makes you sad or irritable. That's really getting it out of your mind so you don't need to think about it. Then you list your plan. Excellent role model!

Ava, wow girl, gimme some of that energy! Your kids are so wonderfully supportive.

Humble, my heart breaks hearing about your son. That had and has to be the most difficult thing for anyone to endure throughout their lifetime. A friend that I graduated from high school with just lost her daughter a few months ago due to an eating disorder. Very sad. The daughter was in her last year at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh. A few days after she started her final year, she passed. You're a strong woman, and I pray for you and for all who have lost loved ones right now.

I have to work concession stand this evening, then son's basketball game. It's going to be a tough team! Have a good evening ladies. I'm sleeping in tomorrow!!!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Awesome ladies,
You all sound great!
J-Vo "the concession queen", have fun tonight at the game. I am off until Jan 2 too J-Vo!!!!

Pav- yes, lets all get together tonight, we can have a fun AF party Thanks for sharing the tool box. You sound pretty in touch with yourself. Keep on working that sober muscle!

Ava- I gotta clean my house too. I am excited to cook a whole shwack of food tomorrow which will be good.
We are going to Banff on Sunday which is a Mountain Resort over here. It will be really nice and even nicer not to drink AL. Everytime I go there I drink too much wine at supper and afterwards and am hungover in the am and can't get up in time for breakfast. It just sucks because they have really neat breakfast places there. This time I will wake up bright and early and go for a yummy breakfast with my daughter, NO HANGOVER!! My son and hubby are going snowboarding. Daughter and myself, going shopping. Oh yeah! Burning calories like crazy - shopping is hard work!

Humble, rain in the NW and snow here in the North! Have a great sober rainy day sista!

SL- I am thinking about you. Hope all is well.

I don't drink.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1600928 wrote: NS, I was thinking about supplements. I know you're an expert in the nutrition area. Well, women our age do need certain supps, and especially after we've probably neglected our bodies by drinking so much AL. In addition to a good diet, which I'll get there after the holidays, what supplements do you feel we should be taking on a regular basis, based on our age? Thanks!!!!!!

This is a tricky question, J-vo, because in addition to age and activity level, the type of diet you consume normally makes a huge difference. If a person eats a standard American diet (appropriately designated SAD :H), there are deficiencies in several nutrients that likely would require supplementation. It is much better to get required nutrients from foods, though, wherever possible.

The data are unclear about whether supplements are beneficial, neutral (and so a waste of $), or in some cases, actually harmful. Lately, data have been appearing suggesting that calcium supplementation is not all it was cracked up to be and may in fact be deleterious. Part of the problem is that other nutrients that Americans at least tend to be deficient in also are needed for bone structure and we don't routinely supplement with those (e.g. Mg, vit. D, vit K).

Anyway, it likely is a good idea to get your nutrient levels checked and identify whether any of your levels are too low before you buy and take supplements. Two sources I feel pretty good about are Chris Kresser – Health for the 21st century and Perfect Health Diet - A diet for healing chronic disease, restoring youthful vitality, and achieving long life | Perfect Health Diet in terms of many diet issues. I also like Authority Nutrition - An Evidence-Based Approach but I'm not sure supplements are addressed there.

I take fermented cod liver oil (vit A,D,K2), kelp (because my salt isn't iodized), fish oil and glucosamine/chondroitin sulfate for arthritis, and a "woman over 50" multivitamin. I used to take several other supplements but am coming around to the view that at best, many of them are a waste of money if you're eating a nutrient-dense diet.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I really believe that the best advice is to get your nutrients from foods. I try not to take too many suppliments.
They say a multivitamin is a waste of money.
I take: vitamin D, iron whole food sup. (I am low in iron), and a multi vitamin B (really makes me feel better, my herbal friend says it is the 'gatekeeper' vitamin) I am not sure.

Milk Thistle is supposed to be really good for the liver. I have taken that before.

I have a really good diet though. Every morning I make a smoothie with protein powder, ground flax seed, chia seeds, berries, yogurt, spinach, and almond milk. That is a really good way to get some nutrition into the diet.
And it tastes DELISH!