Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

giraffe1234;1651543 wrote: Back from the weekend breakaway with loads and loads of filthy laundry. There were so many al temptations to resist this weekend. I managed by trying to shut my mind to al altogether. It was not easy though. When does it get easy? When will not being able to drink not be an issue for me? Omw let me stop waffling and start sorting the laundry.

Pav, fantastic 140 days, that is just super. Im so happy for you.

LB and Jane, sorry to hear that you have had a less than wonderful weekend. Hugs and kisses to you.

Have a good week all.

Giraffe you're doing brilliantly. Have you heard of PAWS? No Sugar posted about it (sorry if I got the poster wrong). Also, changing 'cant' to 'don't' drink?

Think how a hangover feels.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, I am telling it from daughter's point of view. I am sure if you talked to my SIL she would have a WAY different perspective. I know they have had their issues but I try and stay out of it.

I love little dogs by the way but please don't whimper

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi,

We had a great Easter - food, weather, companions. I was very lucky to be with many family members who were all very happy to be together. I'm so glad to hear that everyone who has posted made it through with their AF "streaks" intact although it doesn't sound like it was an easy holiday for everyone. I hope things are looking better for those of you as today goes on. It was fun to hear what a good day so many others had.

Today is back to real life for me and I'm trying to get ready for an upcoming business + pleasure trip. I'm a horrible packer -- I always want to have options . To make it harder, the forecast sounds like the weather is going to be variable and we need fancy, professional, and casual clothes. Needless to say, I'm not even trying to make it in a carry-on!

I listened to a couple more of the Bubble Hour podcasts. I agree that the segments aren't professionally produced or the hosts very polished but in some ways, I kind of like it. I think those ladies could be Loamers -- I can kind of envision us sounding much like them if we sat around chatting. Anyway, I think they make the information really accessible and I'm much more open to it than I would be with a lecture format. Talk about being Recovery Carriers! Those ladies are really putting themselves out there to help others.

I really hope the non-posters and lurkers to this thread are doing ok. I realize that isn't my problem or my responsibility but I'm just kind of down thinking of people being so unhappy and knowing there is a different and better way of living but being unable to "make" them do it (as if any of us have that kind of power ). The change just is not as awful as it seems when you're in the clutch of an addiction. Anyway, I'd love it if some others joined us on this mission. There really is strength in numbers and with social support.

Hang in there, Loamers. xx, NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, that is really neat about the Bubble Hour podcasts. I was thinking the same thing. last night I was listening to the Bubble Hour while in the tub and I thought the same thing. I thought, I bet all of us loamers sound just like these ladies and I wonder if there is a way we could all chat? It would be so neat and probably very helpful. I think we have our own sort of Bubble Blog right here really.

hmmmm....I wonder if we could do that somehow. Either we could just get together through some sort of technological/visual medium and have informal get togethers or do a mini bubble hour where we talk about issues we face in recovery. That would be so cool and would really help us I think to stay on this bumpy road to recovery.

Have you ever tried packing cubes? My friend travels probably 300 days out of the year, she is a high level executive at an oil company, and she used packing cubes. She Loves them and swears by them. Just something to check out.
I was thinking of getting some myself.

xo

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Busy thread today!!! Just checked in to say hello,. and there is almost a whole page! back to the old grindstone, so can't stay long - this much I know, I go to bed with a smile on my face - each day I get through makes me smile - I was thinking how different I feel going to bed at night, how settled and content I feel - then it dawned on me that I am feeling, not just falling into bed due to drink! It took me a while to work out what had changed!
Jane - I also like to be liked too - always wish that I could be one of those people who didn't have such a need, but there you go!! Sorry you are struggling with so much....
Narilly - yikes! and you slept thru it too - agreed, pretty crazy:H
Pav - I am nearish to Mt D, I just love the coast, so want to head over to my happy place I think - maybe I should just start with more locally and I might just do it instead of talking about it!
Good luck with your meeting j-vo - I never have the courage to do a rebuttal!! Well done for that step.
Hi to all other Loamers!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers

Well Jane you have been busy lol. My feelings being single and quite happy to be this way is that when and if i get into another relationship it will be with trust, love, respect and communication. i will not settle for less and therefore will probably be single for the rest of my life. Everybody is different, if we were the same it would be a pretty boring farking world we would live in so you need to accept that they are all different or try and change hubs (he is the main person you need to concentrate on). None of us likes change, i for one was very resistent to the not drinking al and changing, huge step, impossible i thought but one day at a time. If you can get him to go for one walk with you, one anything to get his butt moving as i feel his health issues are worrying you immensely. I now put all the too hard to deal with stuff in a box in my brain and when i am ready pull one thing out to deal with. Otherwise it is way to overwhelming and i am in recovery and nothing and no one is going to make me drink. I am probably talking out my arse but thats just my observations. My ex MIL hated me for the first few years but i grinned and grinned on family occasions, after all i married my ex, it was his family and i had to do my part to support him. We love each other now but the older people get the more set in their ways they become (my mum for example) and this holiday has taught me that i need to listen and respect her the way she deserves to be respected as her life has been a hell of a lot harder than mine and her tolerance level is way lower than mine. I did not get on with my ex's brother, nor did he so we seen them family occasions and that was it. I was not putting myself in a situation that i was not comfortable with, they were more well off than us, fantastic jobs, blah blah blah and i do not tolerate people like that at all so removed them from the equation. Ultimately at the end of the day it is hubs choice to do something about his diabetes just like it was your choice to do something about your drinking, only you made that decision to stop and if you were pushed to do so how would you have reacted? My advice is to focus on you still, it is early days but maybe focus slowly on one family member in changing your mindset on how you feel about them. We cannot chose family but at the end of the day we are a long time dead.

I slept a good solid 12 hours and woke up fine but now slowly turning to crap again. looks like another day in bed and its raining so i am going to just recover. Glad i had that flu needle that mum nagged me about getting before we went on holidays is all i will say, and not to her haha.

Jvo i am thinking the vodka drinker may be a tad under the weather and doesnt it feel great to wake up every single day without a hangover, anxiety, depression etc. I went to the shops yesterday with Tye and seen a friend of his who wished me happy birthday, he was also holding a basket with 5 bottles of wine in it. I said "oh are those for me", he looked shocked and i said i was just kidding. I find it most amusing now to tease his friends and they all say i would be pissed after one glass and yes i probably would be but it would be the others that followed in the days that followed that would be my downfall. You my dear are distinguished in everything you set your heart too so dont put up with their crap and good on you for standing up for yourself.

Giraffe, i noticed 165 days, big neck hugs for that one girl. Oh the laundry, my boys saved a lot of theirs also for me. Me on the other hand at $2 a kg for a wash, well who needs to bring dirty clothes home! Be grateful that we dont constantly think of al, remember those early days where it was 24/7 well its definitely better than that now isnt it?

Nar i had a chuckle about the dope and kids, my boys still smoke but i figure it is way better than any other drugs out there. God i was the biggest pot head in my younger years then it gave me anxiety so stopped it though i still like a smoke occasionally, very occasionally. Must have been strong cookies though! Thats funny that you slept through it sober ha ha. Way too many times i slept through pissed also. Now i dont hear a thing either. Tye said he came home pissed the other night and asked if he woke me and i heard not a thing. He would have known big time if he did wake me though!

NS glad you had a good easter with fam, Mia asked me where the easter eggs were and that was after she got all the presents from o/s. She got the look i must say! Packing drives me nuts, pack everything and wear not much. I did not think i packed much but next time it will be a pair of swimmers, knickers and a couple of dresses and pj's and buy the rest. 40.5kgs of luggage i bought home and i took 15kgs. lots of shopping i must say. How long will you be gone for? When do you go? I too think of the lurkers and wish they would come back.

SL congrats on your 60 days and keep it up and up. Falling into bed, i like that and thank god those days are gone, mind you i used to have the bottle next to my bed but did have to run into a few walls to go to the loo. These are the memories i dont want to forget.

Glad everyone is keeping sober and i for one am glad i dont have work this week. Its going to be a struggle next week but thats next week so will worry about that Sunday. So looking forward to being told what i have done wrong and how things need to be change on the desk by my dickhead boss. That is going to take a lot of smiling on my part to get through but hey he might just suprise me and say he missed me. I dont believe in miracles though at this stage even sober!

xxxx

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies!

Had to catch up on a few pages of reading! It's been a really long, busy day. So tired but happy. The day started of with my principals requesting that we meet earlier in the day as they were called to a meeting by Superintendent. I wasn't prepared to meet with them that early, but I took a few deep breaths, as this was always a scary thing for me - being evaluated by supervisors. Well, I had planned to take a .5 benzo for my meeting, but didn't have time as it would not have taken effect. As I was sitting there, I was calmer than I ever have been. I was able to counter a few comments they made, as I don't agree with the new evaluations. They want the kids to basically create the lesson, assessments, and have as many choices as possible. They want all of the decisions made by them, and for us to be able to coordinate such a process. I can see this to a point, but it really cuts out a lot of instruction time and mastering skills. They changed a few of my "proficient" points to "distinguished" as they agreed with me. Overall, I had a great evaluation and they actually put me in a category with only two other teachers that had similar evaluations. This is the first year for these evals and the majority of teachers had some "needs improvements." They laughed when I made some comments about the woman that created the evaluation system - her name is Charlotte Danielson. I said she must have been high or drunk when she wrote the distinguished categories, as no one can possibly do some of this shit. Yes, I was myself, me! Not obnoxious, just being truthful and some of the topics need to be made fun of. "Yes, we want you to have the students create the rubrics (how they are assessed)." So I said they should make the test and take the test? Um, ok! But overall, it was a great eval meeting, and I'll be presenting next week to the faculty. They want me doing more in leader roles and I don't mind if I have something good to give the faculty. But, I have to say this. Having a good evaluation is a good thing. I've pretty much always had good ones. What is important to me is how I felt about myself in the meeting. I've always been hypersensitive. When being criticized for anything, I get defensive. When meeting with superiors, I get nervous as hell. When with those superiors, I freeze. That wasn't the case at all today. I was calm, confident, joking but serious. I was the jvo I've always wanted to be. Lately, I've had less "highs" and "lows" and more of a feeling of balance in my head. It's quite a new feeling for me and I love it. Just love it. I love feeling normal. Ahh! What a great feeling knowing that I am enough.

Jane, I hope your husband gets the help he needs for his diabetes. Maybe he'll be more aware of his health with this and begin to take small steps towards a more active life. He would have a great coach! LIke Ava said, you are working on sobriety, and maybe he'll need to set a goal for himself.

Giraffe, glad you're back and safe from the temptation.

Pav, happy 140! That's a lot of days lady!

Nar, what in the world is a packing cube.

Roxy, glad you're posting, How have you been doing with your goals?

NS, when is your business/pleasure trip? How long is the trip? Don't forget to pack a sexy nighty! That shouldn't take up much room in your suitcase!

SL, glad you're feeling settled and content. I'm feeling it too!

Ava, dear, glad you got that 12 hours. You've caught up now drink your OJ! Did you give DS a hug for me?

Ok, it's almost 9 pm and I'm gonna hop onto facebook for a bit. Have a great night.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in tonight. Whew. Boy am I tired. Clean, clean, clean.
Good job on your meeting J-vo.
Good to see you Giraffe.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo, thats huge - well done on the outcome, and so very well done for handling it the way you did, and feeling so great about it! I am happy you are feeling good about things. The way it all worked out is great, and you don't nneed chemical help to be wonderful - you rock:l:l

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, that was a great post! Sorry to hear you are under the weather. You know, it is anazing you did not drink on your holiday. Look how far you have come. I am so proud of you. I will follow your example.

SL, I know how nice your bed is, remember we helped you pick it out! Glad you are sleeping well these days, I know you have had trouble sleeping in the past.

J-Vo, your review sounded great. You crack me up with what you said to the reviewers. I love you
Just Google packing cubes!

Look at us Loamers, we have been doing so well. I think as time goes on we will all be old timers as far as being AL free goes. Ok ok, granted we are all getting older too.

Anyway, goodnight. Hopefully no cops are at my house tonight!

Xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening, Ladies:

J-Vo - you sound wonderful! Congratulations on your great review (as if we had a doubt), and I hear what you're saying about confidence and feeling like yourself. I get less defensive, too. It feels great. It is awesome to hear you feeling so strong.

Jane - Sorry about your DH. Mine has gained more than 50 lbs since we met - he has high cholesterol and NEVER exercised (I think he is actually depressed even though he is even tempered and happy outwardly). I tried nagging, pleading, offering to work out with him, offering getting a personal trainer with or for him, cooking good food (he always just had more pasta with the kids) - SO many things. Then he got his blood work back this winter and had pre-diabetes (he didn't tell me because he knew I would "use it against him" I found out from his sister). At the same time, I was focusing on ME - getting sober, re-starting yoga, hiking all the time. I also have been working on understanding and actually believing that I can't control others' behaviors - just how I react to them. Well - what do you know? DH started taking his clothes to work every day and hiking during his lunch time. Not the magical transformation overnight I was looking for, but Ii see it as baby steps. He's gone hiking with me a couple of times (even though I think of it as an infringement of ME time (and the Bubble Hour), and maybe, just maybe, he'll think about his eating habits next. I can continue to set a good example and focus on myself, hoping he'll come along. I hope he pulls it together so he can be alive to see his kids grow up, and to be with me in our dotage, but I really can't control that. What a relief!? OF course I worry about it - can't help it. But focusing on something else (namely myself) has really helped. I hope you can shine the light on yourself for a while and enjoy your sobriety. Try to let what the in-laws say and do roll off your back (BTW, I had that issue, too, but I've typed enough already here).

Ava - 12 hours sounds like a dream to me. I'm sorry you're still feeling bad, but good that you can stay in bed. I can't believe you bought 50 kgs of stuff. Yikes.

Nar - I want to know what a packing block is, too. Maybe I'll Google it?? I know we can meet up via Skype if and when we're ready. That feels like a giant step to me.

Giraffe - PAWS information is in the Bubble Hour and also at this link. I also suggest listening to the Bubble Hour podcast on relapse prevention - there are some of the same signs, and it seems that one has to continue to work hard on sobriety even (and maybe especially) after several months. Good to see you pop in.

NS - I would love for more people to post here, too. I LOVE this thread and feel like there is strength in numbers. I worry about everyone who has swung by and disappeared - I hope you come back. Sober life is indeed real life.

SL - I congratulated you on your celebration thread, but WAY TO GO on 60 days. I hear your next goal is 100 - we'll have the welcome mat out over on that other thread... You are sounding so strong and positive (and dare I say, grateful???) these days. Keep it up!

LB - Hope you get a good night's sleep.

Dot - How are you feeling today?

Marylou? Are you still around?

Roxanne?

Ok, loamers and lurkers - Good night and sweet dreams.

xo
Pav

PS - X post Nar! Good night.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And oh my goodness about your son. You seem to take it all in stride (you, too, Ava). I panic when I think of my kids and drugs/alcohol because I'm terrified one of them will have "the gene." I'll need you as the years roll on...

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks again for all your support - and yes Nar it is all your fault that I have a new loan to pay off monthly (courtesy of my new bed ) - it is fun some of the memories we have made.
This weekend when I was shopping, we stopped in at a gallery of local artists. I am a huge Ansel Adams fan, and have always liked his black and white photos. There was an exhibition of some colour photos of N Ca, and I loved them. I looked thru them and wanted one but decided not to buy - the gentleman managing the gallery mentioned that he was the photographer - and then I had to get one! I had a hard time choosing between three, all of places dear to my heart. I chose one and have been putting it in different spots trying to work out its home - I decided it is my reward for my progress, and realized it is of a dawn - it is a beautiful sunrise and will now symbolize the dawn of my renewed life!
So glad to be on this journey with you all:l

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

scottish lass;1651818 wrote: I looked thru them and wanted one but decided not to buy - the gentleman managing the gallery mentioned that he was the photographer - and then I had to get one! I had a hard time choosing between three, all of places dear to my heart. I chose one and have been putting it in different spots trying to work out its home - I decided it is my reward for my progress, and realized it is of a dawn - it is a beautiful sunrise and will now symbolize the dawn of my renewed life!
So glad to be on this journey with you all:l

Yo Loamers, s'up?!

Nice SL.

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, thank you for the advice on Photobucket - will register, upload and posts asap.
Have a good week!
xx