Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, take me next time!! That sounds so fun! We have beautiful weather here today. I am wearing a black skirt with a pink sweater and pink shoes. Fun!
I wish I lived by the beach. Enjoy that Pat. I have snow about 8 months out of the year.

J-Vo- feeling blah? Come on Girl! Oh YEAH, lets get excited, woohoo!!! Ok, maybe not.... well, just relax and rejuvinate and you know as soon as summer starts you will have a new outlook. This will be an awesome sober summer, right?!

Eloise- Hello. Glad you are here.

Lil B, Big hugs from me. OMG, that would be hard to deal with. Think this one through hon. (I know you will)

NS, love you, my recovery carrier.

Walking home now. Talk to y'all later.

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all. I've had a weird few days, so didn't have a chance to check in. Looks like I missed some good stuff.

Jane - your post about existing vs. living really resonated with me. Since I now find myself alone for the first time since I was a teenager (divorce, sons have launched, etc.), I have spent some serious time contemplating what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've complained to all who will listen (including all of you) that I am lonely, but recently I've had an epiphany. It's my choice. I'm lonely because I haven't reached out or joined in. So I am at a crossroad - I can choose to live fully or merely exist. I'm sure it will take effort and persistence but life isn't going to come to me...I need to go out and get one.

With that said, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to have a spouse die. But I have watched how others have handled it. I had an aunt who lost her husband suddenly, and she chose to "exist" for the next 50 years. It was sad. She closed the door every time happiness knocked. Then I have a friend who lost her husband to a heart attack at 32. She had two children under 5 and was pregnant with their third. There was no life insurance. She was a SAHM. I only mention this to illustrate the terrible situation she was in. She grieved. Oh my, did she grieve. And then she made the decision to live again. Her life has been hard, yet she is a very happy person.

I guess it's all about resiliency. Some people are resilient and other are not. I'm not sure how we learn to be one way or the other, but I have noticed that resilient people seem to do better in this world.

NS - I love this time of year too. The heat, the humidity, the light, the energy - oh yeah!!
J-vo - once they are driving, it all changes. Honestly, once I was sure that they were ok on the road, I really enjoyed the freedom from chauffeur duty. It's just getting through those first tense months. Hang in there.

Hope everyone else is doing well. I promise to read back a bit more tonight and respond more thoughtfully tomorrow. Tonight I'm dealing with an ex-husband issue. Seems he has managed to destroy his life once again. He and GF had a major blow-out and all I know is that the police were involved and he is once again homeless. Now he wants me to take the dog (can't), store his vehicle in my garage (hmmm...), help him financially, ad nauseam. We have been here too many times. He ignores me when times are good, and runs to me when his life is in tatters. Not a chance this time, ladies. He has played me enough for three lifetimes.

xx. Talk later.

edit: LB, I just read back. Oh no. SD is totally wrong and you have every right to feel hurt and angry. I'm glad you said something. This type of treatment is off the charts. Sorry, I don't know the back-story, so I don't have any good advice for you. But I'm here. xx

[myhappyplace]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies,

Sorry to barge in, but I'm stalking Daisy45 and wanted to tell her to empty her PM box so I can thank her properly for a gift she sent me. xxx Happs

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Definitely not barging in MHP. So nice to see you. How are you feeling? Been following your thread in the holistic section and I have learned a lot. Post here any time.

[myhappyplace]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks MossRose. How lovely of you :l and strange when I think I have my own thread. Its been great having a place to lay out plans and thoughts. And some recipes

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you for the loving support. I did need a little spoiling.
NS you are right. I am going t o have to teach her how to treat others respectfully and the only way I know to do that is to not take it, to stand up for myself. And hope someone in her counseling group gets through to her.
Mossrose I am so glad you aren't taking that. I hate when I get treated like that. When someone only talks to me when they need something.
NS that day out in the convertible sounds wonderful. Glad you got to do that.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MHP, I will check out your thread for sure!

Mossy, your ex sounds like a piece of work. Glad you are sober when dealing with his crap.

Lil B, I know you will figure this out.

Pav, cross post?

Xo
Goodnight

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening, all:

LB - I can't offer any more or different advice than the ladies have already offered. I believe your SD's actions score very high on the BS meter - hope her dad can step in or at the very least you can distance yourself from her. I LOVE your description of your day - Tulle, cat hair and a remodel. I think it has the makings of a first sentence of your novel...

J-Vo - I, too, have summer anxiety. I was talking about this with my counselor today - it seems that I get the most down and antsy on Saturday mornings. The frenetic pace of the job is over, and I have more time and mental energy to ruminate. I have decided that I am going to make three weekly goals - one household chore I have been putting off, one exercise goal (including big, long hikes), and one food goal - cooking healthy meals for me and my family. I'm going to write down the weekly goal, and maybe even go so far as to fill my calendar - Re-paper the kitchen shelves, 9 - 10 on Tuesday and 3 - 5 on Wednesday, or something like that. I am happy to be your summer quit buddy - we got this...

Moss - I think you have a great perspective. My sister was separated from her husband two years ago, and little by little she has been finding herself. She was feeling a little lonely so she joined a hiking club. She just hiked 20 miles over three hills! She has also met many new friends and has even been on a couple of dates. She feels lonely no more...

NS - A convertible road trip! Sign me up. The Loamer version of Thelma and Louise (with no cliffs at the end, but I'll take the Brad Pitt section in the middle...)

Jane - I get what you mean about starting at zero (or day 1). When I am feeling most anxious or antsy, it is a good idea to remember to hit "reset" by doing something meditative and healthy. As you are all probably sick of hearing me say, exercise is KEY in my sanity. I have been so busy at work that it has fallen off over the last two weeks, and I feel it! I like your idea of creating characters... Way to go on dinner with your dad. I remember the angst over the lunch well - so great that you're feeling so strong this time. I wonder what he'll say.

Missed you, Nar. Good night.

Patrice - some time on the beach with your son sounds wonderful, as does a few days away. Hope you're well.

MHP - I love the holistic stuff, too. Drop in ANY time - the more the merrier.

Eloise - You, too!

Ava! Hope you're working on a real gazette - we need it!

xo
Pav

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all, just checking in, I'm doing ok, 7 days today, so glad I started 7 days ago and not today...so glad I'm not regretting.......
Pav, my son is going away and I'm going to have a few walks on the beach! It's so hot here so can only do that around sunrise or sunset.. the beach is 5 mins away and looks really nice but it's the Sth China sea so it's really polluted = no swimming! a real shame cos the water is so warm
Hope everyone is well
Patrice
Xx

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pat I've got to figure out exactly where you are at. Congratulations on making it your first wholecweek. As Byrdie says there now isn't a day of the week you haven't made it through. Just rinse and repeat.
Pav first laugh of the day. Thank you.
J-vo I'm thinking about you this week. Hope you survive that last week. It is an emotional time. Jane said it best. I love you.
I have to run. Have a good day ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning ladies.

J-Vo, almost done this week! It will be much better after that. xo

Pav, I like your idea of 3 weekly goals. I might try that. You will feel much better too after this week I would think.

Lil B, Hope your flowers are looking good. My front yard is beautiful and I love looking at it,it makes me happy!

NS, good morning hon.

Well, busy today so I will talk later. Love being sober!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning Ladies,

Today we have field day for the kids. So we'll be playing outside all day. Yay! And after school, having a pizza party for whoever wants to help me clean up my room. Should be an interesting afternoon, and I'm almost positive nothing will get accomplished except a eating loads of pizza, drinking sugaring drinks, and playing some music. Another yay!

So, I appreciate all of your support. This is why this site is invaluable to me. When we're feeling wobbly, or aren't sure what to do with this crappy feeling or that one, we can come here and hash it out. I do feel deep down that it's the upcoming, unstructured change. I know what I don't want, as the last 25 years have been a drinkfest. Not happening. I'm so over that and ready for anew.

Pav, love your idea of three weekly goals. And yes, I'll be your summer sober buddy. Ava, move over!!!! I've got a plan in mind, and it's to stay close to MWO, exercise, and do some house things, and I'll be writing those things down, as I'm a list person. Maybe I should get more specific on times...I need a push to get motivated.

Jane, thank you for all of your ideas and thoughts. I like the boot camp idea. Yes! I need a kick in the ass, no doubt about it. And a brand new mind set is also what i need to make. I think I need to stop thinking of the past and move forward and make new memories. Yes, it's strange territory, but that's ok. I'm walking with you girls and I can do this.

Moss, I choose to live fully and not just exist. Amen to that! So glad you're not going to allow your ex to cause you the same trouble that he has in the past. That takes courage and strength and you've got it dear.

NS, I love that you played hooky! I bet you're lots of fun. I can see your curly hair whipping in the wind in the convertible. How great that is!

Patrice, a walk on any beach sounds lovely. And shopping...that sounds like a perfect weekend to me.

You know you girls are so special to me. Love you all.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB thanks for the chat...:l:h

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:hHi Pretty Nar!!!!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, Friends

I finally figured out something that has mystified me for a couple weeks. I went to an exercise class this morning and for the last few months, I've been very chatty, responded to the teacher when she tries to fire us up, and sometimes been kind of goofy and flip. This might not seem odd except for during the last couple years before I quit, I essentially said nothing in the class and made no eye contact (wonder why...). Part of my behavior is because I feel better about myself but today I realized that the teacher looks just like Ava and remarkably enough, is named Ava. After I said a particularly cheeky thing today, it just hit me: This is not THAT Ava!!! I really had kind of made them into the same person and I must say, Ava, you are an excellent instructor for someone who hates to exercise :H!

Way to go on those 7 days, Pat! Just don't ever cash them in, ok?

Glad to hear you're feeling better, J-vo. Putting a plan in place so you don't feel sort of bored and at loose ends sounds like a good idea.

Pav and Nar, the convertible only seats 4 so we'll need a fleet of them for our road trip. Now would that be a riot or what???

Have a great MAE, NS