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    Jane, I hope the doctor has a plan that will restore your health!! Mystery illnesses are not only physically hard but so psychologically draining.

    I'm still traveling and faced with family relationship drama that I cannot mediate. I've played that role for years - probably contributing to the difficulties in communication they're faced with right now. I see both sides of the situation but everyone involved feels like the victim. So, I'm completely stressed with a tight knot in my stomach. I have no interest in eating or drinking but in the bad old days, I would drink anyway to escape this emotional state. I'm pulling out my relaxation "tools". I must admit that they don't work as well as drinking in the short run, but they help, and I won't be faced with any much bigger regrets.

    Mostly I just wanted to force myself to put this out there and stay accountable.

    Stay well, Gloamers.

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      Playing the daily mediator in any drama but esp with family is so stressful. Sometimes you have to walk away. You can only take so much.
      Protect your quit NS - you said it all yourself and it drained so much of you n the past. Hang on in there! Travelling also makes this hard for you, sometimes we have too much time to think and worry when away from home. And it can be v lonely.

      Jane - good luck for the doctor and the plumber! I did get that combo right didn't I?

      Dots - its up to you but maybe don't worry about the gardening. Unless you enjoy gardening, or you have to grow food food for sustenance - you don't have to do it. If you do garden plant what is feasible and what you like.

      Its Good Friday here and I am going to be working at home today. MY partner is home for 5 days - which is always a bit irritating. Like I think Nar said, I shouldn't say this, but I find it much harder work when he is at home. He has to be organized by me to get off his behind, there is always much more cooking to do, and my routine gets disrupted a lot. I often end up taking to my room for my own sanity. I know this runs contra to my long post the other day about Easter and being grateful. Usually we go away at Easter but we can't this year - for various reasons.

      I think I will bake some hot cross buns though. Try out a new recipe.

      Lots of Easter hugs to everyone out that. I know for some this is also an important religious time.

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        NS, that really sucks. I know what its like to have family drama. Hang in there!

        Gotta go..very busy at work. I'm at my day job right now...not my porn star job (haha)
        Narilly

        "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
        "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

        AF April 12, 2014

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          Thanks, TT and Nar.

          The fact is, I don't handle conflict and stress very well. I didn't realize that before. But - now I do and I've just got to take the responsibility for dealing with it in a healthier way and accept that I can't "fix it". Everyone involved is an adult and I've somehow got to control how I react to the situation.

          Nar, discussing your porn star career was one of the funniest segues on this thread - glad you have a good sense of humor!

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            Just flying in - audit done, hopefully I can manage to read back more tomorrow.
            NS - :hug:"s dear lady - keep the mission foremost and hopefully the strife may settle.
            Jane - fun doing a snapshot look back - the strawberries died with no fruit, likewise the match.com foray! Luckily the af time went the other direction!!
            Pav - sorry about the ongoing youngster problems - I can so relate!
            LB - all ok? just a funk or something more? Full moon coming up....
            TT- Narilly had an exciting prior life as a porn star.....we had fun with it for a while!:congratulatory:
            Spring break next week - likely no homework nagging - I will work through Wed then a long weekend off! :sohappy:
            Really hoping for more time in next couple of days, we will wee won't we.
            Glad to see all checking in and staying the course - happy and proud to be a Gloamer....
            “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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              Went to an event at church tonight. I look around and see hubby everywhere. We were so active there it is really hard for me to do this but if I dont I will never be able to go back and I have so many good memories and friends there so it is a real issue. I cried all the way home.....
              Tomorrow I get my hair done. Made the appointment so I would look good for Easter but now I just dont care. But I wont cancel at the last minute so maybe looking good will make be feel better...who knows this whole thing has me in such an emotional mess. Counselor says I am doing all the right things but the right things hurt so badly....
              I will be glad to get back to the gym next week. I can really tell about the quality of sleep or lack there of and maybe that is part of my funk..I dont know......just sad....
              Dottie

              Newbie's Nest

              Tool Box
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              AF 9.1.2013

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                SL not really a funk, but more a total lack of energy. But today was better. I took the dogs to the dog park where they played or about an hour and I worked in my garden this evening. So one day at a time it is. Easter is a good time of year. Full of the promise of spring and evenings spent outside.
                Jane I'm laughing at you using the plumer's phone to complain about him. Too funny.
                NS i know about family stress. And it must be even harder to not be there. There were times I felt so trapped and like it was going to be that way forever, but it eventually did get better. For me. I hope you find a way to make it better for you.
                Dottie I'm glad you are going to church to be with your friends. Hard though it is now, at least you realize that you really need these people. Fresh hair will make you feel better too. And think of the wonderful message of Easter. Hugs dear lady.
                No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                  Hi, Everyone:

                  NS - I always think of you as calm, cool and collected. I am sorry for how you're feeling - I hate strife, too, but have found that facing it head on has helped. You probably are. My sister in law can be passive aggressive sometimes, and I get so worked up. Last night I just called her and said, "You think I would..." We ended up laughing - not that it is the same situation as yours, but making that call helped me at least know that I had done my part. When are you back home? That will certainly help you feel better.

                  Jane, that does sound like an I Love Lucy episode...

                  I have another sick kid. Calgon, take me away...

                  Good night. Hope we're all less "full" soon!

                  xo
                  Pav

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                    Off to get my hair done so hope it will make me feel better.
                    Nothing else on the agenda for the day. I will be glad to start the class next week. I need things to do so I am not sitting here moping and feeling bad.
                    There is a new chapter out there somewhere, I just need to find it.
                    Dottie

                    Newbie's Nest

                    Tool Box
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                    AF 9.1.2013

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                      Hey, Pav, I'm feeling much calmer today. I've never been one of the cool kids, though :wink:. LB, I think of you often and try to model you. I'm so impressed by how you deal with really big stresses.

                      It's pretty cool how we can use some of the tools we learn here to handle other issues of life. I don't think I ever would have explored breathing techniques, gratitude practice, mindfulness, etc. if not for this. And they can be very helpful in times of any sort of stress.

                      Have a good day, Gloamers. NS

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                        Jane - hoping for some answers for you!
                        NS - happy to see the calmer you.
                        DB - I am not sure that I read, what class are you doing? Happy hair do day.
                        TGIF and Happy Good Friday......
                        “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                          SL I am taking a class at the local police station called citizen police academy. Looks interesting and I might learn something and when I complete the 10 week course I can do some volunteer work with the police dept. This is something dh would never have done so I am branching out and trying to do new things. Nothing to lose except some time.
                          Dottie

                          Newbie's Nest

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                          AF 9.1.2013

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                            Dottie, that is awesome. It will give you something else to focus on.

                            NS, I don't deal with family stuff the best either. I take things too personally, especially stuff with my brother, Mr Judgemental.

                            SL, glad you can enjoy your weekend now.
                            LilB, nice to be able to think of gardening so soon. We never plant anything until after May long weekend because it Always snows in May.

                            Have a great sober Good Friday!
                            Narilly

                            "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                            "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                            AF April 12, 2014

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                              hi everyone,quick post, cat off to vet for his vaccinations and yearly check up,he always gets so stressed poor little man. Other than that,lunch out and gym - done nothing all week and yesterday I actually felt lethargic like I really needed to move.
                              Birthday tomorrow and just found out shops are shut as it's Easter Sunday so going to chill/maybe do gym cinema and food and trying on new jeans(always traumatic) on Monday.
                              Dottie - your perseverance is really shining through,you are being so strong and determined,even when it's so hard.
                              NS - I agree with you, the serenity prayer,and thinking about food and mood and what is my stuff/other people's stuff.SMART recovery tools - also helped hugely with depression and anxiety too.
                              one day at a time

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                                I am off to an Easter Egg hunt at a local park. We volunteered with our church to help with the event. It will be hard to be there without him but then again it is hard to breathe without him so I just have to keep moving forward as best as I can.
                                My friend has invited me to dinner tomorrow night. We would be there together too so if it is too hard I will just leave. I am not going to church either. Thought about going to a different church but I wont go alone. Really hard being a party of 1 when it has been us for so many years. Why I have been put in this situation is beyond me but here I am and I dont have any choice but to do the best I can.
                                Dottie

                                Newbie's Nest

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                                AF 9.1.2013

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