Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, we just finished watching the last episode last week too! It was so good. I loved the way it ended, I think it was a good outcome considering what was going on. I highly recommend it too. You just have to get past one gory scene in the 3rd episode (which almost made me stop watching), after that it is great.

Enjoy your Music J-Vo. I listen to the radio at work so when I am at my desk I can listen to music. That is nice.

No drinking for me this weekend. Yay! I am looking forward to that

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all ~ lazy again today as did it again last night. Such a bad habit! I know I need to bite the bullet and just do it. Be AF that is.

NS - yes, I have attempted 30 days several times. Get to 2 weeks and give in. Why? Major issue for me is to get some sleep. Is there something really different after 14 days or so? When do you start sleeping again? Loved the poem!

Ann - IMO, paxil is evil. Don't go there. Horrible withdrawal. Hope you get help, but really recommend you don't use paxil.

Nar - caught up this a.m. on here, wrote a response to you in shorthand and now can't read it. LOL. Sorry. Something about yoga, I think. Sorry.

Dottie - Colorado is beautiful! My last marathon was Pike's Peak. I love visiting, but get claustrophobic in the mtns, could not live there. You may take the train to the top. While up there you can look down at the Barr Trail. Think running up 13 miles, then back down. Having been a flatlander (MN) and being in the high altitude made for not such a great time. Still have fond memories of many run/vacation trips to Manitou Springs and doing the Pike's Peak Ascent.

Mary Lou - please accept my condolences on the loss of your dad. Glad he got to have taps and honor and grateful to him for his service. How are you doing?

So a lot of you came here hoping to mod and once you quit, you decided the sober life is for you. Admire that. Takes 30 days, huh.

Ok, it's Friday. I do not plan to drink tonight. I have an 8:00a Sat tee time.

TMH

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all
Just a quick check-in to say howdy and I'm glad to see everyone is doing well.
All fine here too; though hectic and I do not have internet access every day.
xox

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, TMH

In my opinion (just based on my experience and what I've observed around here -- no formal training in the area), it takes at least 30 days of actively becoming a non-drinker. So, I don't think a white-knuckle-30-day-long exercise in will power would do it. I had to learn about addiction, read the stories here and elsewhere of what happens with "just one drink" after a time AF, ask a lot of questions, post and try to help people who were on the same path I was, etc.... So, after about a month when I realized that it was fine with me if I never drank again and in fact, I was really excited and happy about that, it wasn't some kind of magic (although it felt that way). I was transformed but I don't think it would have happened without the effort I made to get through those 30 days.

People's sleep habits sometimes are better and other times worse after quitting. There are tools other than alcohol that help. I'm still a poor sleeper but at least now when I wake up, I don't have all the negative stuff that comes from drinking. Laying there and thinking for awhile doesn't bother me too much now that I'm not thinking about what a horrible person I am and that for sure this time tomorrow will be different .

Kind of a rule of thumb around here that I generally agree with is that if you can't go without drinking for 30 days quite easily, you might be a good candidate for giving it up entirely. A person without a drinking problem would be no more phased by that than I would be if I was told I had to not eat carrots for a month. Well, I'd rather have them but... ok.

This is what you get for "talking" to me while I'm avoiding work :H. All the best, NS

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I love it when you're avoiding work, NS!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

ToMyHealth I cant imagine running up hill...We are going to many places and it should be great trip. Going to visit a winery but by next year I should be just fine..they do have non alcohol juice I think.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

TMH- I am sure it was an inspiring post about yoga! I just came back from a great workout. Now only a few hours left of work. Yes!

NS, I agree. After 30 days I could see that life was much more enjoyable without drinking and that if I used some of the tools I have read about here it was not that hard to give up. A big thing for me was Gratitude for not being hung over or out of control all the time.
That is the problem with drinking, losing control. Losing control of your life.

I don't drink.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Being grateful for even the littlest of changes is part of what rewires our brains, I think. I mean what kind of Crazy Brain would not want the reason for all that goodness to become permanent ? I'm with you, Nar. I don't drink, either.

I was thinking (while continuing not to work ) and decided that carrots were a bad example above because while I like them, I don't love them, and I certainly don't eat them each and every day. However, I do eat cheese every single day and I love it -- all kinds.

If I had to give up cheese for 30 days, it would be a challenge. I would have to adjust many of my meals. I'd have to think of something that would fill me up as much as cheese does. I'd probably think about how I missed it every day and that I hoped that after whatever diet elimination experiment I was doing was over, that I would find that I could eat it again. So, it wouldn't be easy. But it I regained my health from not eating cheese, I wouldn't go back to it.

But the month without it wouldn't seem impossible like a month without AL did: I don't think I would cry about it, or avoid and be jealous of people who get to eat cheese normally, or join an online support group for giving up cheese, or eat fake cheese, or try to learn to meditate so I wouldn't miss cheese so much. I wouldn't have to start over not eating cheese again and again and again, feeling like a miserable failure each and every time.

My point is, the 30 days without AL is different for anyone who is addicted to it. For others, giving it up would be like giving up carrots because they don't care about it that much one way or the other and for other people, it would be like cheese - tough but doable.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi All,

Just a quick thanks to you all and especially to those of you who commented on AD's today-I really l needed to make a decision and get going with SOMETHING! ToMyHealth, not gonna do Paxil. While it has helped a couple of my friends, it has rendered a couple others more or less unconscious for a few days, til they quit! Ava, thanks for sharing about your success with Zoloft. And Jane, thanks for pushing me to do something ASAP!

Am going to start a small amount of Zoloft and build up. I am hoping over time that this will free me up emotionally so I can really join in here, and just feel more hopeful over all!

ooxx

Ann

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers

Well 2nd cup of tea and ready to take on the world, not really, but i wil give it a try.

Dot sounds like a wonderful holiday, what do you do with the 4 legged friends when you go away?

LB how are you lovely, sounds like the house is a mess but isnt it nice to have some extra money when a child moves out. i keep telling mine that i would save a fortune if they moved and they keep saying "no you would not". oh yes i would. funny no electricity used for 8 hours, water etc etc, they just dont get it.

Mary the funeral for your dad sounded wonderful. you and your mum must have been so proud of him. How was the wedding?

ND hello hello, i am on zoloft and yep the sex drive is not much but im single so not overly worried. have been on and off it for years and i am thinking in a few months i will go off it and i do feel great but then i seem to go for six months to a year and feel myself getting depressed again but that was during my drinking days so fingers crossed in time i wont need them. You are sounding great. Celebrex is used as an anti inflammatory over here.

NS what a beautiful poem and so damn true, i have given up on my past, it cant be changed even with best intentions so now i look forward to the future. i try and tell the kids to just enjoy life as we only get one but they are young and will learn. Hot foot sock,baths, now are you crazy NS that sounds like a recipe for pneumonia. i hate wet feet. I totally agree with the 30 day no drinking NS, i was gobsmacked that i could actually do it, well twice actually till i realised the 2nd time that moderation could never be in my vocabulary regarding al. I will eat carrots with you though raw ones, i hate cooked carrots.

Nar i so forgot to mention your sewing skills, that so made me laugh. did you end up telling DH what you did. when my ex left me, my daughter and i packed up all of his things and spat on them. i know but we had such fun and knowing he would not know and would have been too lazy to wash anything was just deserts for him. ive grown up a bit since then but emotions make us do funny things. Sending you some warm weather though its getting cool in the nights now, my shitzu is starting to get under the doona and snuggling with me. who needs a man and im not good at sewing at all. You bought back memories of going out hungover, oh god they were just awful times, the effort and the anxiety and the everything really. thanks for that reminder i needed it.

Jvo how are you lovely, you sound good and it has been a really hectic week for you, glad you came through it without too many hassles. I am taking breaking bad with me to thailand, the whole series so i will get into it there and keep you posted. enjoy your day with your sister, is she the one with the drinking problem? Hope im not prying but you did mention a sister that was going through problems.

TMY i think the thing is when we get to two weeks we think we can just have one or two drink and stop. I know i tried that a million times and failed dismally. After 30 days i was so suprised i actually made it that i thought why not keep going and see how far i can actually get. my goal was 4 months when i started and it will be 4 months on the 1st of April and i have no intentions of drinking now so planning for 8 months.

LC exercise, mm working on that one when i go on holidays, oh in 5 days time, today is the day i pack and clean my room as i think tyes friends are coming to stay which is fine as one is a girl and i know she will keep the boys and house in order. i know the house will be clean about 4 hours before i get home!

Giraffe neck hugs to you and glad you checked in. Where the hell do you live to have crap internet. I know with my mobile that i basically have to get on the roof to talk on the phone and i live in suburbia. Frustrates me no end.

Aca you can do this lovely, stick around here even if you are still drinking, we will pressure the hell out of you to stop, lol just kidding. I am on 100mgs of zoloft and it keeps me leveled, i am thinking of cutting down to 50 after holidays as my mood is so much better. If i could only learn to sleep properly then i am sure i could be on none.

Well time to clean. I had those al niggling thoughts last night, i think because i am going on holidays so i did not even contemplate leaving the house. Its not that i want to drink but i think it is due to leaving my safety zone (my house and country) and being with mum. Maybe that is why i am putting off packing as this is a big holiday and i am probably worrying more than i should. A bit like going out to a function where there is al. I do know i wont drink, Nar gave me a great reminder on those hungover mornings which i have not had for 4 months and how the hell could i possibly let you girls down or myself or my children. No al thoughts today and i know i have all my plans in place and i will be on here a LOT. The flight is a bit of a worry but hey i have lots of valium so i may knock myself out lol.

Pav hello my lovely, i only went back 3 pages so i missed you, but another milestone coming up for us shortly and damn that feels good being at 120 days or 4 months. I still shake my head in amazement that Linda the 20+ year drinker does not drink anymore at all. I did say to my son last night i felt like a wine and he just said "really mum?" and i said "no son i dont". I will be glad when that al voice farks off to some far far away land but i keep telling myself i am still in early recovery and to me that makes sense that i still have a long way to go and i still need to think of me.

Roxy how are you girl, daisy come and call in, pat, pat pat PM me. SL hello and hello. anyone i have missed please be safe.

Well better go and do some cleaning and coffee time now.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

ava I have 2 friends that hopefully can come and take care of the fur babies. They are roommates so can share the role and if they want to stay here so much the better. They are also much cheaper than a kennel. I sure hope they can help this year.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kennels are so expensive here too so i am glad the boys and mia will be looking after my girls though my shitzu does like getting out and going for a walk so the boys had better look after her, she has cost me a fortune in the pound.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1642857 wrote:
I had those al niggling thoughts last night, i think because i am going on holidays so i did not even contemplate leaving the house. Its not that i want to drink but i think it is due to leaving my safety zone (my house and country) and being with mum. Maybe that is why i am putting off packing as this is a big holiday and i am probably worrying more than i should. A bit like going out to a function where there is al. I do know i wont drink, ... I did say to my son last night i felt like a wine and he just said "really mum?" and i said "no son i dont". I will be glad when that al voice farks off to some far far away land but i keep telling myself i am still in early recovery and to me that makes sense that i still have a long way to go and i still need to think of me.

Well, Ava, I'm going to put on my Sandra hat (Sandra Bullock, the uptight stick-in-the-mud in The Heat --- Ava is the fun Melissa McCarthy character) and ask you to please pay attention to what you're saying here. Sometimes people express these feelings and then when they drink a few days or a week later, others say that s/he was preparing to fail or that it was the mental relapse preceding the actual relapse, blah, blah blah.

It doesn't have to be like that, though. These thoughts now, and handling them as you did, can be a dress rehearsal for next week. It is always good to practice! Plus, you won't be blindsided by that AL voice suddenly speaking up after a long silence - you've heard it, you know what it's up to, and you know how to shut it up. I don't think you need to worry but I do think you need to stay very alert to your mom getting under your skin, hot/humid weather, fatigue, new surroundings, missing your kids and dogs --- you know, HALT.

YOU CAN DO THIS - and have one of the best vacations in years. Just play out some scenes that might arise and really see how you handle them without the crutch of AL - our beautiful, sober heroine surmounting all obstacles with nothing needed but her commitment to her new life and her awesome self-confidence :l.

xx NS

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh NS that is why i said it as i recognise if they are at the back of my mind then that could lead to trouble with a capital T and i am not going to even go there with al but it helps to get them out in the open and expressed. Its getting so close but i know i will be fine.

Once when we went over there Mia had a birthday and she was being a bitch and then wanted to go on the net and i said no and my mother overrode my decision and said she could. I was so annoyed, i actually slept on the verandah for 3 nights and to this day they bring that up but to me she is not Mia's mother and yet again had the upper hand. Those days are gone for good thank god and she will NOT get to me, lol, if i keep saying that she wont although i have a feeling i will be sore from swimming laps or at the gym which is not a bad thing. I am looking forward to seeing her as i do love my mum but........she may suprise me she may be proud of my achievement. time will tell.

thanks NS

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1642878 wrote: Oh NS that is why i said it as i recognise if they are at the back of my mind then that could lead to trouble with a capital T and i am not going to even go there with al but it helps to get them out in the open and expressed. Its getting so close but i know i will be fine.

Just keep chattering here from now until Wednesday! You'll entertain us while you get everything all worked out. I'm glad you expressed what you did! Denying how we really feel buys a ticket to trouble. It would be weird if you weren't at all anxious but most of all you seem excited about having a break from normal life. You've earned it. Now go pack!