Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hang in there, RG!!
I am just going by what NS says, as I trust her and all the ladies here very much. Every day at this time--beginning at 3 at the latest, I'm going through a pretty difficult stretch. I don't have any alcohol in the house and I won't allow myself to go out until the urges subside. I've done damage the past few months by giving in and drinking when the cravings got to be too much to bear. And to be honest, I wasn't giving it my all. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I would drink again so I sabotaged myself. This time I am being 100% honest with myself. I KNOW what's going on in my mind and I will NOT give into the alcoholic voice. The cravings suck though. I will be very grateful when they give me a break--when they are least far and few between!!!!!
ramble ramble... off to play board games...

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC hang in there. It does get better. The cravings would drive me nuts but I knew they would pass. Come here and talk I am usually on line.

Off to volunteer at a yard sale for an animal rescue. It is supposed to be in the low 90's today. If I get too hot I am just not going to stay. They should have rescheduled....

Back later ladies...

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Holey smokes! It looks like a few of us are going through some big cravings!
I posted a big post last night- maybe in the wrong thread because I can't find it!

I am so glad I woke up with no hangover this morning and no regrets about drinking.
Last night I was just going to drink and part of me wished I did not know you Loamers because then I could just have a drink and not have to worry about telling you ladies. How messed up is that? It's like a little Devil sitting on your shoulder telling you something while the rational side tells you something else.

RC, Life, let's get through this crap together! Thank you Gloamers!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Life, I am reading about the kindling effect right now.
Thank you!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, I read what you wrote last night on the 100 day thread- I also felt like it was way too close. It really scared me, because it's like I lost my sense of reality--it was a real conflict. A real fight. I know some people have said it's better not to fight, and that once you accept you can NEVER drink again, the fights aren't necessary. I'm not sure if that's true. Or if the cravings really just become further and further apart the more time one has.?
How are you feeling today? Reading is good-- I would also like to listen to more of the Bubble Hour--I find it inspiring and full of good advice/information. Do you have any nice plans this weekend??

Dottie, :l

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I just read about the Kindling effect. Wow, such a good reason not to relapse. I can see how it basically becomes a black hole you can't get out of.

It's crazy Dottie, the way these feelings can come on. Thank goodness I have set up my life so I there is no AL around and my hubby does not drink much especially around me.i swear if there was any wine around last night it would have been Game Over! I even thought the Loamers were a pain because they made me accountable! Wow! Thank goodness I am back to my senses today. I am going to a concert tonight and will not drink. I think the feeling has passed.
Thank you, yes, The Bubnle Hour always helps.

I will be back. Off to a garage sale.

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

narilly;1697305 wrote: Life, I am reading about the kindling effect right now.
Thank you!

Plan on checking it out after running errands...DH is driving so I can simply close my eyes as we pass my old watering hole ( aka toxic swamp!)
Love you Ladies

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

One of the exercises we did in our home meetings was draw a picture of our addictive voice. Make it as real as possible. As ugly and as scary as you can. Then take it out and destroy it. Throw darts, target practice, burn it, whatever works best for you. I visualize stabbing it in that giant eyeball that's always turned to alcohol. It really helps me put it in it's place. Dead to m e. Not able to make me drink again.
Ava that 99 year old millionaire is MINE. And hubby says its ok with him.
I'm not giving up on this site. But I do think e-mails and texting is another great way to stay in touch and also a big part of my emergency plan.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Sorry to read of the cravings. I had a moment when I saw Patrick Stewart's ALS ice bucket challenge. He writes a check and then puts some cubes in a glass, pours in some Scotch and take a big sip. I can actually taste the flavor of the scotch when I see that. My dad drinks scotch, so that was a taste I am used to, and I drank my fair share over the years. Weird how that just happens. I am lucky in that I am rational enough to think through the drink. Any time I try to deny the extent of my problem (an exercise that, thankfully, is happening less and less), I am able to remember the feelings of the Saturday morning hangovers and regrets; the 2am wake ups; the last, terrible, awful hangover... In case I can't remember these things sometime, I do have them written down.

Nar and LC, so happy that we could be there for you, even if you were mad at us, Nar! I know THAT feeling. Like I've said before, I am very good at lying to myself - it would be hard for me to lie to you all.

This site HAS been wonky, and I hope it stays around. NS, I think someone mentioned starting a new Nest so that all of those pages don't have to load every time. Is that something you, Byrdie and Lav would consider doing? I think it is a good idea. We could still link to the first nest also so people can read back if they want.

VERY busy first week with the students back at school. I am tired, but am going to see music tonight, too. With my drinking friends, of course. All of my friends are drinking friends! They know I've quit, and two of them know some of the gory details, so it should be fine. I will have to eat a lot before hand as I know the smell of beer will be tempting (probably hard for you non beer drinkers to understand).

I have in my list of things to do to start meditating in the next two weeks. I have a hard time squeezing everything in, and got NO exercise all week (although I do walk around a lot in my job). That's not good either.

OK - off to hang out with my kid who asked me to do something with him. How can I say no???

xo
Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

This site HAS been wonky, and I hope it stays around. NS, I think someone mentioned starting a new Nest so that all of those pages don't have to load every time. Is that something you, Byrdie and Lav would consider doing? I think it is a good idea. We could still link to the first nest also so people can read back if they want.

Please let me know if you decide to do this so I can join?
This spam thing is weird. One of them, WilliamCags, was logged in just now... what is the point of writing all this weird crap in French? Are these spammers actual humans? Or someone's computer ? I don't get it, sorry.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well done LC, Nar and RG - this is the power of this thread. I KNOW that I would have broken my dream a few times if it was not for the thought of having to come on here and report out. I have thought about lying - well, cos none would know would they:H But seriously, lying to a group of anonymous people (not all so anonymous now) - what would that make me.
Speaking of your fears and then your realizations really does help. I love NS's signature about recovery being contagious - that is our tagline for sure!
Yes, back to school - my alarm goes off just a little earlier and amazing how I am always asleep when it goes off for school - I was able to wake naturally during break and what a difference.
Well school supply shopping and homework nagging this weekend - will check in later...

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE all,

Still fighting off urges today. It's so weird that this is happening - I haven't felt this strong of a pull any other time since I quit. I'm using all of my tools, playing it to the end, etc. But wow is the AL voice strong today.

To quote Jane, "Me no likey."

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, that cracked me up that you were wishing you didn't know us so you could drink without guilt :H. The thing is, our very good "group think" is part of you now so it would be really hard for you to do it and probably impossible to truly enjoy it. Plus, You made the Big Mistake of giving me your email and I will track you down one way or the other :l.

LC, the cravings still occur after you've accepted the fact that you can't drink but the scale of the "should I or shouldn't I" battles diminish. Most of all what you need is time.

LB, I love your idea of drawing and destroying AL!

I had thought about the Newbies Nest II idea, Pav but one thing I've noticed (and I'm almost afraid to put it out here and jinx it ) is that 2 of the larger threads - NN and this one - don't get too much if any of the ridiculous spam. I don't know how bots work (and these seem mostly to be bots), but maybe we are somehow protected by size. If the spam problem ever gets fixed, maybe that would be a good idea but I'm afraid to mess with it!

I checked out more at Soberistas - under 5 bucks a month if you sign up for a year so that is better than the $10/month here and hopefully would not exclude anyone if MWO failed entirely. We can hope it doesn't but ... that's not really a strategy to stay sober with friends.

I know you aren't going to drink, Wags, so I'm sorry you're having to put up with this stuff. It's the last gasps of your dying addicted voice (that LB stabbed in the eye for you!).

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

So, I just had an epiphany. Ok, maybe I just realized the completely obvious. I'm sitting here using all my tools, trying to surf this powerful and surprising urge to drink. I'm trying to understand where it's coming from, as that might help me choose the best tools. Suddenly I realized that I just don't like the way I'm feeling on the inside (combo of angry, mildly anxious/insecure, a smidge lonely, and probably tired, not to mention some other uncomfortable feelings). I am having more and stronger feelings right now than I have had any other time recently.

THAT'S my trigger right now - I'm maxed out on uncomfortable feelings and my AL-brain is trying to seduce me into alleviating that discomfort. It's a relief to simply get some clarity on what's triggering me right now. The urge has not passed, but at least now I understand where it's coming from all of a sudden, and I think I can try my tools more strategically instead of just pulling them out in random desperation.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, RG, good for you girls and getting through those tough cravings. Nar, yes, laughed at your comment too. YOu're a funny girl.

Wags, great way to analyze the situation and dig deeply to find out "why." I think that's the root of most of my cravings...anxiety, feelings of insecurity, depression. I want quick relief of that. But to use those tool is key, and the next time it ever does come to that point, I'm taking a half of the antabuse pills I have. That would save me as I hate throwing up and being sick.

LB, love your idea. That really feels good and relieves some of that stress!

Whatever you girls want to do. I'd love to get onto a site that is more secure and reliable. Lately, it takes a long time to log on.

Two baseball games and I got sunburned. Wasn't expecting the sun to be out as it wasn't suppose to be! Going to BIL's to check out his new pool. Have a great sober night.