Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

So what are you feeling weird about, Pav? (And whatever is going on, I bet it won't last for 10 years :smile. It sounds like you had a great, athletic day yesterday. I wonder if you could be a little tired out? I wish that chalkboard paint had been around when my kids were home - it seems like it would be so much fun!

At some point I got sick of my jeans having such a say in my self image so I've bought them only at resale stores for years - they're already shrunk and softened and I have so little invested in them, I get rid of them if I don't feel good about myself in them. They must be the most unforgiving article of clothing ever for anyone who isn't built like a boy!

Hope you're ok, Dottie. We all are thinking about you and holding you close. xx, NS

[scottish lass]

Got a great pair of jeans today - young trendy brand - but called 1984 jeans - hi waist and everything - they always say that things come back if you wait long enough!!!!
Pav - happy for you to do a wall for me too - what a great idea...
Just watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - it was wonderful - had a few tears, but there were so many wonderful quotes that applied to us here, or so I thought...

Everything will be alright in the end so if it is not alright it is not the end.

The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment

We get up in the morning. We do our best. Nothing else matters

Nothing happens unless first we dream

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing

The only real failure is the failure to try

Most things don’t work out as expected, but what happens instead often turns out to be the good stuff

We actually had a good day shopping and treated ourselves on the way home - treat for good behavior - Ghirardelli ice-cream and hot choc fudge sauce - should go for a walk now, but too busy enjoying ourselves!
Wish it was not Monday in the morning...

[narilly]

SL, for you I will move somewhere warmer. Tomorrow it is going to be -18C, which is totally disgusting. So is life here in winter, at least I will be UnHung.

I went Jean shopping when I turned 50. I went to a fashion 'consultant' and she helped me find a pair that looked pretty good. I had them taken in at the wais because they gaped. She said you never find a pair that fits exact and you just have to alter them a bit. I have been wearing them for almost a year now and love them. Usually Jean shopping is difficult for me but this worked out.

Pepper, stirring? Who knew! Next time I will say 'moving the liquid around with the spoon' lol.

I went to my neighbours tonight for supper and they were drinking wine. I had these stupid thoughts like "I am going to drin again after I am a year sober" and I really felt like I would drink again. That scared me because I am my best self when I don't drink. I do not want to drink again, one day at a time I guess. I will not drink today.
I am going to keep coming back here and posting because my sobriety is precious and you all are precious too.

Goodnight

[little beagle]

Nar I too am at my best when I don't drink. Honestly I'm at my worst when I do drink, so the choice is obvious.
A chalk board wall makes sense for us too.
Another day to try and feel better for me here.
Dottie I hope you are feeling less overwhelmed.
I feel like I'm going through another transition time. All scratchy and stretched in a way.

[bear73]

hey everyone,thought I'd pop in here and say hi - I feel your pain about jeans,I have a small waist and big bum so it's a bit tricky.Trickier now i have a tummy too and put on 4 stone!I have slim and shape jeans narrow leg from BHS - and they're ok,highish waist.Hoping I will like them a bit more as I do more exercise/eat more veg!

I'm on day 43 now and feeling good,anti depressants have been big part of this - and a big part of the staying sober too. I have a day off today that I was going to use for study but as I'm tired I'm just having a day off and cleaning/tidying and generally pottering about.

I hope you're all good and look forward to meeting more of you

[scottish lass]

Hi Narilly - I had very similar thoughts as I was approaching my year - sort of feeling that I was cured, got to the year now done....I did post and discussed my feelings - put it out there, and it hasn't happened....I do feel that speaking out loud is a huge help, hope you will feel the same as you come up to the one year line!

[NoSugar]

Hi, Bear! 43 days sounds like you're doing well on this mission :smile:! Are you in the US?

Nar, I kind of touched on your topic last evening in the NN - I pretty much feel like I'm fine and it would be easy to forget the "as long as I don't drink" part. I shared some of my embarrassing and hurtful memories in that post. Typing them out actually made me feel ill. It isn't pleasant but I need to do that once in awhile because I don't want to ever forget how far I've come.

LB, I think it's good that we continue to grow and change, even when it feels uncomfortable :hug:.

Good quotes, SL - makes me eager to see the movie!

Wouldn't life be easier if we just all wore skirts or knit pants :wink:???

[treetops]

Or kilts? I'm working at home today and although not wearing a kilt I do have a skirt on with my hiking leggings (its coldish today) and thick socks. Its a very enticing look:congratulatory:
Nar and other Gloamers - I think its really normal to feel edgy as you approach anniversaries - which is why I try to not make a big deal of them (although I always like to congratulate others). Maybe its my Kiwi culture rubbing off - but we are generally not big on huge celebrations here (although thats changing much to this old hippy's chagrin). Its an attitude of 'you do what you do' and just trudge on. Not very glamorous I know but its survival tactic of sorts for me - and helps me to not feel too disappointed when the accolades don't descend - and we all know, that after an anniversary - you wake up the next day and life goes on. As it does with one year of sobriety - the effort you put in that first year is phenomenal and a year AF is amazing - but we can't let up after that.
I witness sometimes people who do really well is walks of life and have great potential - and then as a deadline or a milestone approaches - they ignore advice and sort of give up. Its very disheartening. So my advice here is to be somewhat tortoise-like - and keep plodding along but enjoy the path as you travel along it. Which is what we try to do here! But as happens, LB - we do have down times, stuff happens, and its not always a bed of roses - as you know. Sometimes we just don't know why we feel so blah or out of sorts - but that is not the time to reach for AL. Communicating with others and absorbing oneself in something helps many people - but not always. My sister always says gardening is her solution - but that sure is not the case with me.

Welcome Bear, I am a newbie on this thread but these are a great bunch of busy people. Its great to share common stories and recognize a glimpse of - 'yes I know exactly why you mean' in someone else's words.

Have a great day/night everyone - Tuesday morning here.

[narilly]

SL, I saw the Grand Budapest Hotel and really enjoyed it. The Lobby boy was hilarious and there were so many 'stars' in that movie, very cool.

Thanks NS and everyone for advice on these damn thoughts that come up. What a pain. I wish we would just quit and be done with it forever but that is why we come here everyday and talk about it. We need our booster shots of sobriety. Lil B, I was not my best when I drank for sure.

Bear, nice to see you here. We are a good bunch of Gloamers (ladies and gents on a mission) There is lots of good support and advice here. This thread really helped me to stay sober.

It is freezing here. Like brutal cold, windy and -18C which means -30C windchill or something mental like that. A kilt wont keep me warm...but maybe a good looking man wearing one would! lol
I am so happy to be UN Hung on Monday morning. I was always hungover on this day. Gross!

I agree TT, I am not big on huge celebrations myself. I would just like to acknowledge the day and get on with it.

Talk to you later.

[peppersnow]

Nar, how close are you to a year? I'm a few weeks away but have been trying not to think about it. Don't know why but I should probably explore that at some point.

I LOVED both the Grand Budapest Hotel and the Best Marigold Hotel...two very different movies but both beautiful, I thought. The Best Marigold 2 is coming out soon, which I'm excited to see!

Welcome, Bear! NS, I deliberately relive at least one of those memories about once a day, I think. When something triggers a memory, I try to just go there for a few minutes, but not obsess about it -- I distract myself if it sticks around too long. I think those memories are like taking a vitamin every day...probably good for us, but too much of any vitamin stops helping and can make you ill.

After making those awesome chocolate paleo brownies, I had to do a quick overnight road trip and forgot to bring my 2 brownies (1 for each day) which I try to stash so that I have something delicious and chocolatey each day that's healthy as a treat. In the middle of a strange meeting with a room full of medical examiners (don't ask...fun bunch) I got this huge chocolate craving, and daydreamed about my brownies. Got out to my car to realize my brownies were at home, 2 hours away. For a split second, a big glass of red wine popped into my head. It wasn't a real craving, just some left over instinct and I was hungry and craving sugar. So Next, I went to the closest coffee shop and bought a giant brownie made with flour, sugar and loads of chocolate chips....everything that's NOT on my diet. It was SOOooo good! And way, way better than any glass of wine could taste.

Goodnight, GLOAMers -- have a wonderful new day!

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

NS - I am so moody these days. I meant I hope it isn't menopause. I think I need some more focus for my weekends - painting the wall helped. I read what you wrote in the nest - brave of you, and more information about your addiction than you usually post. Was there something that inspired that? I think it is good for newbies to hear the real stories of the old timers. I still consider myself a tweenbie, and they help me for sure.

LOVED the Grand Budapest Hotel.

Nar - I don't know if you remember, but I struggled a TON right around a year. It was a hard time for me. Keep posting here and let us know how we can help. I, too, am a better person when sober.

TT - I worked from home today, too. I stayed in my jammies until I had to go pick up my son!

Pepper - just reading about those brownies made my mouth water.

Feel better, LB.

Welcome, Bear! 49 days is awesome. Glad to see you here.

Jane, Ava, Pat, Dot, Cowboy - I am SURE I am missing someone. Happy Monday.

xo
Pav

[treetops]

Pepper - tonight my daughter is making chocolate chip cookies. What can I say? What can I do?
They will be full of butter, sugar (sorry NS) and flour - at least the cows that provide the butter munch on lots of grass and roam around on pastures outside doing the cow thing. And I think she purchased fair trade chocolate.

[patrice]

Hi all,
Not much to report, tired n busy really!
Hope you are all good
Xx
Pat

[available]

Hi gloamers

I just loved making a year, it was like xmas to me and really every month i am sober is still like xmas. I am doing something that my brother who died from al did not accomplish and i am so grateful that i am here and sober. It doesnt matter the amount of shit that happens in my life the most important is that my family are fine and i am sober.

I had a date last night with the guy who told me last time he could control my drinking. He first met me when i was on my downward spiral to now totally sober. He has changed his whole opinion and told me if i ever drink he will kill me. He realises that the drunk, email enraged, texting freak and all round idiot (me) was much more together sober. He asked how i felt not drinking, how i stay sober (mwo) and how good i looked and felt. Its hard this dating sober but at least i dont wake up in the morning wanting to chew my arm off and run away which i did on so many occasions.

Pav i am doing the menopause thing i think too, i am taking black kohosh which the ladies recommended on mwo and seems to work, well my moods are a bit more even. Most of the bloody women on here drank through it so thats another option lol. i passed that one though.

A nice mild 22 celcius at the moment but its dark later in the morning now and cool when i wake so guys we are getting cooler so you should start on some warmth soon.

Dot i hope you are okay.

xxxx

[narilly]

Yes, Pav, I remember your struggle and I am so glad you got through it. Of course you did! I am struggling now but I know I will have my moments.
I am just happy to be sober and Unhung. It is amazing what a Rock Star I am these days! Doing so well at work (even in this crap oil market) and I am really feeling confident.
Pep- I loved the Marigold Hotel and am looking forward to the second one. It was hilarious! My parents came from India so I really love these kinds of movies. Did you see The 100 foot Journey? It is hilarious, I loved that movie. Check it out, it is SO good. Makes you feel good. I really like feel good movies.
That Brownie was definitely better than a glass of wine, I agree.

TT, enjoy your kids baking for you while they are around. My kids are travelling and going to Uni. This is the first time my hubby and I have ever lived together alone. It is really weird. We actually have to talk and the house doesn't get dirty. Very strange.
I watched 12 Years a Slave and Wanted to run away and die after that (ok I am being a drama queen) I vowed after watching that movie that I will Never watch a sad movie again. I mean, I lived through Roots and really, how many times do I have to see the same terrible story over and over. I am done with those kinds of movies.

Ava, never mind the 22C! It is -18C here, actually it isn't that bad. It is very sunny outside. My son went to Thailand for 2 months with some buddies and it is +35C there. Lucky kid. I know he is going to drink his face off, he seems to be following the same path as me as far as drinking goes. At least he is more aware of it and has me as a role model.

Ava, I can't imagine what it must be like going on dates sober, I have never done that before. You go Ava!

Talk soon.