Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Dottie you sound really good. I can imagine how weird it would be to hang out with another man. It is nice that you can move forward and look to the future. You are one strong woman.

TT, you have some great advice for all of us and I really appreciate that.

Yes, I will try not to over think the drink. I am going to live the life I want and that means No drinking. I keep saying this to myself because I seem to be needing this reminder right now. Maybe because I am not working and don't have that to take up all my thoughts. Wow, I just thought of that! This website is great...just writing down stuff makes you realize what is going on.

Oh, and Jane, don't be so hard on yourself. You are trying your best!

I am going to go job hunting now. I went for a 14km bike ride with hubby this am and visited my mom all before 9am. Love being Un hung!

Talk later peeps.

[jane27]

Thank you TT, NS & Nar,

I ended up in tears at the shrink. If I'd been a spectator, I'd say 'she's trying to control everything and she can't'. And that's true. How do I learn to let it go? How do I temper my personality? I'm disgusted with all it. A1 didn't acknowledge or reply to either my card, text or email. Didn't thank me for getting him a job in a SNAP when he couldn't find one (at my old company), or bother calling in to say he wouldn't be there last Monday. When hubs left him a VM last night asking him to check in, he first texted me saying that he had broken his phone, was writing his from laptop, and would call his father later. As it turns out, I was charging my phone at the time so didn't get the text- about an hour after the text to me he called his father from his friends phone. When hubs got off and I asked him what had happened he mentioned maybe suggesting to A1 that he use one of our old cell phones, and I said, please don't do that. I know the kid threw his phone and broke it. I've seen it happen before.

Was told by hubs and shrink that the email I sent him was too long- and I 100% agree with them feel a little embarrassed about the verbal diarrhea. The problem is that I do not communicate as well talking as I do writing. I am so stressed out.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for and that's where I should be focused but lately I feel like I'm on a tight schedule to to get our shit together in time for his death, my alzheimers or both, and while I'm not thinking about suicide, the work involved in just living right now feels like a sweater priced at 50$, and I only have $25 in the bank. And of course within adopting the attitude of gratitude that analogy doesn't work out at all, so basically I'm feeling like I can't afford something that I'm lucky to have the opportunity to go broke over buying. Life feels like a strong current that I am constantly swimming against, and if I stop swimming against it, that bad things will happen.*

Apologies for bitching and being self absorbed. I know this will pass and I'll regret complaining so publicly. All I have to do is remind myself of each of my Loamer family members current challenges, and I know that I'm not alone- but how to calm the ruck down? I want things to be a little bit easier, a little more enjoyable, a little more WORTH it. Things that should be taking one step, are each taking 6 or 7 while new must be done things are popping up each day. All the while, people and dogs are dropping like flies. Time isn't going to stand still any time soon. I need to find a way to cope.

*Both of these things remind me of why I was drawn & became trapped in the drinking habit- to cope with unpleasantness and not enough good stuff.

[jane27]

A little levity....saw a great comedian this weekend- young girl about 28 and 5'11. many great jokes about her adventures in being tall.
One of my faves- "and spooning? tall girls NEVER get to be the small spoon; Its more like jet packing.."

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[little beagle]

Jane. I'm glad you can get that out. I too feel overwhelmed at times. Like I'm running around in a hamster wheel and can't get off.
Dottie you sound like you're starting to get out there. I am glad the gentlemen you've met don't drink. Good for you.
Narilly I do hope you are able to enjoy this time off work. It seems that when i have time, I'm don't have money. When I have money, I don't have time.
I have been really grateful that I've learned the skills to cope with life without alcohol.
No it is not easy, but all I could think of was how hard it would be to wake up at 3 am, full of anxiety, worry about the money I spent, and still hurt. I can deal with just the hurt this way. Lots of crap falling out of my closet right now, but at least I'm sober and hanging onto my sanity. And the underlying gratitude is still with me.

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Too late to say much. Hubs and I just had a great conversation about how the next few months will go for us. A lot to take on but I know we can handle it.

I am off to sleep. Graduation for my school is the end of this week, and then my job will get a tad easier until I get some time off in July. Phew.

Good night,
Pav

[narilly]

Pav, this is a good time to get close tour hubby and regroup. Of course you can handle it, you are a strong woman. Your hubby is lucky to have you there for him.
I am so glad you don't drink!
Well it's Tuesday here and a beautiful, hot, blue skyed day. I am sitting on my deck whic is decorated with plants, colourful cushions and bright carpets. It is like heaven. I got up before 7, went for a walk with hubby, saw my mom and now I am here on the deck.
It's amazing how much I can get done when I am Un Hung. Love that.

Glad your sober too Lil B.

Jane, good joke...I'm 5'2 so don't have that problem!

Have a great day.

[Dottie Belle]

Met another fellow for lunch today...there will not be a second date. Cant win them all
Going to a show tonight. I am the escort for a bus full of seniors. My friend couldn't go so I get to see the show free.
Plans to meet for 2nd date on Friday night....a Friday night date...holy crap....how old am I ?????

[jane27]

Well it's Tuesday here and a beautiful, hot, blue skyed day. I am sitting on my deck whic is decorated with plants, colourful cushions and bright carpets. It is like heaven. I got up before 7, went for a walk with hubby, saw my mom and now I am here on the deck.

Nar, I tried to find an image on Google that matches my minds eye based on your description, but I couldn't Wish you would post a picture! Colorful pillows make my heart sing. I'm sure this photo is no match for your deck.... I love fabrics in general but don't have an easy time when it comes to putting things together. White couches take care of that problem (anything goes), but its not a very practical solution for me. We're a bunch of spillers over here.




Just recently discovered the name for a colorful Mexican fabric style called Otomi (pic below)
I like it a lot. Do you spend any time on Pinterest? If so, would love to see your boards/share mine.



A better day overall, but haven't had time to sit down, read back and do my normal thing. Looking forward to catching up with everyone tomorrow.

If anyone would like instructions on how to post pictures using Photobucket, I wrote one for Byrdie and would be happy to pass it along. It has embedded images so I can only send by email.
xoxox to all

[little beagle]

Love those colors Jane.
Pav I know your hubby is grateful you are with him.

[treetops]

Hi there ladies. Quick check in and yes to the lovely cushions and no to the white sofas - doesn't work with most families. Hope all are doing as well as can be. Pav, hang on in there - its going to take a lot of strength for you and your hubs over the next few months at least.
SL -you must still be on vacation - so hope you are enjoying it.
Hi there Dot, LB, Nar, Jane, NS, Ava and I bet I missed someone - but you know what I mean.

I am doing really boring stuff today - its work and mostly checking and proof reading some of my stuff. Heaps of it. Collect daughter soon from a late class at school (optional for exams at the end of the year but she is keen). Light the fire - get dinner ready. Feed the cat. Open the door for the cat and spend 10 minutes while he decides if he is inside or outside - meanwhile the house freezes. Close the door. Open it again…..

Riveting stuff but its OK. Anyone else excited about True Detective Series 2 coming up soon on Netflix?

[jane27]

TT, Thanks for the tip. I hadn't heard of True Detective, and we are always looking for new shows. We are about 1/2 through Six Feet Under at the moment. We chase this with the Mindy Project. We like to have 1 long show and 1 short show cooking at the same time. Orange is The New Black starts up again this weekend...we enjoyed that show a lot. Then there's a long list of shows we watched complete and are hoping to see return (Transparent, Mozart In The Jungle, Black List, The Americans). We've become spoiled with full season releases. Byrdie had mentioned that Blue Bloods was good. I'm curious to give Nip & Tuck a whirl.

Dottie, Sounds like you've tapped into a good resource. I met my husband via Yahoo's very short lived dating match site. I didn't have luck with Match, found Matchmaker to be the most user friendly but encountered many guys with straight sex on the brain. I still remember one who in the field next to Greatest Talent wrote, the ability to balance a 110 lb woman on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to punch him right through my computer screen.

Nar, my wish for you is that you find a job that you like soon but that you also get to enjoy a bit of time off. 2 friends recently changed jobs with no time off in between. They didn't have a choice, but it sure would have been nice for them.

I'm feeling calmer. Maybe its the Prozac increase. Either way, I'm glad about it. The guy who cleans our gutters is going to begin coming to the house 2x a week to personal train hubs. (Personal training is his man gig). I'm relieved to have a new plan in place, and hubs is on board. We recently applied for long term insurance policies (provides care at home if you have a long illness). Hubs was rejected. It was upsetting to us, but we learned a little bit about the way that industry works. Had we understood all the things that can go wrong, we would have prepared for it better. The company that we used lacked a defined , systemic process for evaluating applicants. Because of this, we got screwed. We'll prepare better next time.

Wishing everyone a bewdie.

X's & o's from Jahmaycah, mon (AC is busted and I'm melting over here)

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and this just in....
Had the pleasure of speaking with 2 of my favorite MYOers on the telephone today (LilB & Rahul). I feel so darn good inside. The power of the connection us MWO'ers share is so special. :love:

[narilly]

Jane,
I love the cushions. My deck is not quite so fancy but it is pretty good.

I am enjoying my day today. Went for a bike ride with hubby- about 12 kms. Took momma to the doctor, had lunch where my daughter works with my hubby and my daughter served us. We had some delicious ramen soup. It is a beautiful hot day here today. Funny how our weather is opposite eh Ava, TT and all the other Aussies and New Zealanders out there.
I really hope my hubby gets a job soon so I don't have to worry about it so much.
I had a soy chai latte today. I called it a choy latte. I think that is a great name, chai and soy mixed is choi. You heard it first here!

Have a great un hung Tuesday everyone.

xo

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I LOVE the idea of a nice deck with colorful pillows. In N. California on the coast it is often foggy and cold, especially during the summer, and especially at night. I long for those long, hot summer nights...

I actually bought a white couch this year - cool, modern white leather. Already a taupe-ish shade of tan. What was I thinking?! I thought it would be easier to clean because it is leather, but I forgot that means I actually have to clean it....

Glad you're feeling better, Jane. I love Orphan Black - on Amazon Prime.

Nar - I do hope one of you gets a job soon just to take the stress of the unknown off. That bike ride and ramen sound like a lovely way to spend a Wednesday, thought.

Dinner is bubbling over. Must run.

Good night!
Pav

[little beagle]

Quick check in. Pav I'll share my long, hot, summer nights with you.

I too really enjoyed that chat today Jane.

[Dottie Belle]

Jane that is so funny....I have wanted to punch a few myself but none were that eloquent in their stupidity...
Gym in a few then nothing for tonight. I can just chill out..WooHoo.