Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Hi all - great night out last night.
Just posted on the gratitude thread that it was not until driving home that I realized I had not thought twice about arranging to do something during prime drinking hours that involved driving (and paddling!)- I did not even have to work it out. WE left at 5pm and got home at 11pm on a Friday night!!! LOVE IT! We saw thousands of bats taking flight (one got caught by a hawk for its dinner) then paddled around the river and saw huge grey herons, lots of otter and many other night critters - a really lovely experience..
Couple of years ago we tried SUP and I really wanted to like it, but I could not relax - I thoroughly enjoyed kayaking and may just try a few more times, might be a hobby for me...
Got my walk in today - not too hot here, so was able to get a little sun on my body...feels good.
Ca state fair tomorrow - nice summery weekend in 80 degrees - bliss
Good to see everyone....glad to be here....happy to be a LOAM :hug:

[peppersnow]

Good morning all...just doing a quick fly-by, as I'll be in the woods without any reception for a few days. Am picking up my 17 year old after her 5 week white water canoe trip in Manitoba. I'm very excited to see her, but she always goes through some withdrawal after these amazing experiences. It's 5 weeks with just 4 other girls and 1 counselor, and very remote. No soap/shampoo/deodorant the whole time, digging holes for toilets, everyone crammed into one tiny tent - apparently they stop smelling themselves or one another at a certain point (she's done this every summer since 6th grade, and each summer the trips get more intense and longer). They take a sauna when they get back to camp (tomorrow night or Tuesday morning) and clean up for the parents, then we attend a banquet and they tell us stories about their trip. They become very, very close during these trips. Sometimes I wonder if I'd done things like this when I was a teen whether things would have been different. I began drinking when I was 16 and from that first buzz, my primary entertainment goal was drinking throughout high school. I never would have considered this kind of camping experience to be fun!

I hope everyone has a good Monday, and will check in again later in the week. Happy Sunday!

[jane27]

Wishing all my Gloamers a beautiful day! Grateful for each and every one of your beautiful foot prints!

[treetops]

Hi there - great canoe/kayak stories. One of the things I like about this thread is that we share such stories but we are still aware of our common problem - AL. So its not just social media of the usual variety. I dont talk about my AL issues or past on FB - as I am sure you dont either!
SL - Thats great that you planned and enjoyed a special adventure - at a time that used to be your prime drinking one. Same is happening to me this week - not kayaking but I am going to a play with daughter & partner, and dinner before - during a time that once would have been earmarked for drinking. Its also on a evening when I have a heavy work day - and in the past - some bottles of wine would have been my reward.
Pepper - lovely story also about your daughter.
But I did lots of outdoor and indoors academic things when I was a teenager but I also managed to drink - so I don't know what predicts long-term AL abuse. My AL abuse was heavy as a young teenager (pre 16) - and then resurfaced in my early-20s. Lack of money and curiously undergraduate university studies inhibited my drinking from c 16 - 23 years. I did drink but not in the way I took up later on.

Good to see you Dot. Hi there to everyone else as well and I expect you are still enjoying/surviving the weekend. Its Monday morning here - frosty as hell. Might be a late start!

[Rusty]

Hello Wonderful GLOAMERS!:happy2: I am on the plane to Utah for work this week so I just wanted to pop in and say hi. My flight is a little over 3 hrs. and it feels wonderful to watch the drink cart go by and not desire a glass of wine. I am a very lucky woman. I have an amazing life. I am so glad AL did not destroy my dreams. :-) Happy Sunday, everyone.

[NoSugar]

I've always had extra respect for the people who free themselves from addiction while living alone or traveling often - and you do both, Rusty. That is true commitment and self-worth in action. I suspect my drinking would have been worse and my recovery more difficult if I'd had more opportunities to be alone - the sneaking around was killing me but the need to do it at least did put some limits on my behavior. Anyway, I just wanted you to know how impressed I am with what you've accomplished.

I agree, TT, about the strength of this thread. Sharing how we adjust our lives to accommodate not drinking or telling the things we're able to do now because we're not drinking is so helpful and inspiring. Pauly noted on another thread that there is a good success rate here. I wish it were 100% but she's right - the people who've stayed involved are doing really well. And some who don't post too much any more also still are not drinking. Go Gloamers!! There really can be power in a group. And HEY, IT'S NOT A CLOSED THREAD!! Anyone on a mission to gain and maintain an AF life is more than welcome to join in. We'd love to hear from you :smile:.

[little beagle]

SL tgat kayaking trip sounds truly enviable.
And tgat camping experience Pepper. Wow. That's so good for her. But I'm not sure I could survive that long without a shower.
Good to see you Dot. Sounds like you're doing ok.
I've had a pretty busy weekend. Had some time to think about some things. I have struggled with hubby's addiction so hard and done so much to help him. I finally realized that I have to let it go some. It's not my fight. He's got to get in there and fight for himself. We had a long talk. I told him that there is no magic pill, no quick fix. It takes time and hard work.
Inam so grateful that I found the strength and courage to put in that hard work and patience to wait through that time. This makes training that new monster puppy look like a walk in the park. LOL. Actually he's a very good little man. Already well loved and learning so fast.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Rusty - good to see you pop by again. I second what NS said - I think the pressure of my family helped me get help sooner - they didn't pressure me, but I was afraid of doing certain things in front of them that I had no qualms about doing when I was alone.

As a matter of fact, I spent this evening alone. Usually time for a lot of drinking. Thankfully, today I caught up on some Netflix, got some work done, and even gave myself some ice cream which I have managed to avoid for a while.

Pepper - that sounds like a wonderful trip. My son is away for 5 weeks but in a city. I texted him that we miss him and he texted back that he didn't miss home! I was so happy to hear that - I know he is on a good adventure. After he was gone for 5 weeks last summer it definitely took him a while to land, too. It is hard to watch them go, but SO wonderful for me to see them go as well.

Glad that puppy is learning fast, LB.

Hi, Dot. I admire your dating!

SL - Jealous of that kayak. I finally tried SUP last summer and really like it, but it is often pretty chilly here on the coast. Hope the fair was good.

STRENGTH in numbers, all. I agree with NS - this is an open thread - hop on by, anyone on a mission to stay sober.

xo
Pav

[Rusty]

I've always had extra respect for the people who free themselves from addiction while living alone or traveling often - and you do both, Rusty. That is true commitment and self-worth in action.

NS-I appreciate your kind words. It seems like everyone's plunge down the rabbit hole into darkness is different. For example, even though the automotive world in the last couple of years was a trigger for my drinking to escalate, on the flip side, I was working so many hours on-site with clients that I didn't have time to drink all that much during the week, and because it was a mentally demanding job, I was rarely obsessed with worrying about getting my next drink, thinking about drinking when I got off work, etc. As far sneaking drinks, I can't speak to that because when I would stay with my mother or be with other family members for a few days at a time, I didn't care about drinking. I was focused on my visits with them, and what a nice time we were having, the excitement of a new baby (I'm from a big, Catholic family-almost always, there was a new baby! Hahahaha LOL). I cannot imagine how awful it must have been for you to sneak drinks. :hug: I saw on another thread that you have been married over 30 years! That is fantastic! I know others are not as fortunate. I have a huge respect for people who are AF who are in marriages where there is physical abuse or the person's partner is addicted. In that situation, I absolutely KNOW I would be self-medicating with booze. In fact, my journey to become sober and STAY sober got a lot easier when I kicked two so-called friends out of my life. These toxic people, although moderate drinkers, fueled the anger inside me which was the biggest trigger of all the HALTs.

Also, thought I would share this with our lovely group here: Work Avoidance Behavior. My new client brought this up to me a few weeks ago. She was mentioning someone she had hired who found ways not to work out of fear of failure, and feeling overwhelmed by the task, etc. Wow, I read this and this was ME, exactly. I used booze to procrastinate and for me to "forget" the Herculean tasks I faced each week. I felt overwhelmed on a daily basis.

Anyway, Jane, and NS...aka Suge on the Army Thread :-), thank you for welcoming me here.

I have caught a nasty cold and I have pink eye besides. SHUDDER My eyes are red AND yellowish. I hope my new Mormon client doesn't think I jumped into a bottle of vodka before work. My prescription eye drops I got at the ER on Saturday are NOT doing the trick. I look like a rabbit with these beatty (SP?) eyes. I just asked my Iphone how to spell Beady, Beaty, whatever and Siri said, "BD-Bachelor of Divinity." HAhahaha

Have a great day, GLOAMERS!!

[Rusty]

Pav-thank you for the warm welcome, and thanks for your input:

I was afraid of doing certain things in front of them that I had no qualms about doing when I was alone.

I had very similar habits.

[NoSugar]

I had very similar habits.

Although the details vary among individuals, it seems we're all more alike than different when it comes to addiction, aren't we? It seems to drive almost everyone inwards and to disconnect from people and interests that used to mean something. Re-connecting with the world started here for me. I opened up, told the truth, and revealed the things I was so ashamed of to a bunch of online strangers (many of whom are now special friends including the GLoamers :hug who understood my problem. It took time, but real life connections started being re-established and in many cases, better than before because I'm done appearing to be "fine" and in control, large and in charge and needing nothing all the time. Turns out relationships are much deeper when you risk revealing your vulnerabilities. Who knew...

Today I'm grateful to be ready and willing to do anything anytime day or night. I was called on to babysit at the last minute this morning -- so glad to be clear-headed and able to truly enjoy some special time.

Hope you're all doing well. xx

[scottish lass]

Hi all - good to see everyone enjoying being AF and realizing what it is all about!

Hi Rusty, hope you hang around!!

Pav - I tried SUP at Capitola, and even though I enjoyed it I did not really relax! I did relax and truly enjoyed the kayak - a bit more stable. We are signing up for ocean kayak lessons - the one I found are from Richmond, so close to you!

The fair was really good - henna tattoos all round. Girls got some cheap and fun jewelry. They also got a couple of t-shirts and I got some fun pants! It was such a great weekend all round - and yes, those thoughts of so good, have to finish it with wine - driving home I started to invent all those excuses to stop and get something I REALLY needed so I could add a bottle - I did not and feel so great this morning - but dang those blinking thoughts for hanging around!

Just did a quick read and will go back for a better read - just felt so great that I had to say hi - even though it is Monday and starting 7 days of call - isn't that just great! (feeling good - not the call:applouse

Bought ingredients for hummus - youngest is volunteering this week (evenings) at a camp, so spending time with oldest and will learn to make hummus

[jane27]

SL, Thanks for your post. Its a lift to bask in the sunshine of your happy mood & I am glad that the kayak trip was fun.

Feeling a bit sick and down- mainly sick I think. Stupid sinus infection again. Reached out to Byrdie, my shrink & hubs for support and feel better for having done it; I dont want to let anything fester.

Love to all

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers--

Pepper - it is time for us to start our meditation series today! Anyone want to join? The theme for the FREE series is finding grace through gratitude. https://chopracentermeditation.com/

SL - Ocean kayaking sounds scary and exciting. I am looking forward to hearing all about it. Sorry about your thoughts - glad you overcame and kept driving. We just made hummus here - it was good, but a little chalky. Any hints, Nar??

And speaking of Nar - hope you are happy and UN-HUNG.

With you, NoSugar - finding the commonalities is what really helps. That's why I loved Anne Lamott's 29th sobriety post - "me, too!"

Hope you feel better, jane.

bye, all.

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

I ditto that. Hope you feel better Jane. Yucky sinus thing.
SL ocean kayaking sounds pretty scary. But challenging.
Glad you're here with us Rusty.
Pav I've been thinking about that Anne Lamott post. Me too! Kept running through my mind yesterday. And now we can say we found our way out. Me too!