mornin all...how are we today then ?all good hopefully..was out yesterday ..not too bad a day but frozen solid...not feeling too grand at the mo..havent been for a few days now,but cant exactly say how what or why,so gonna keep the post short for a wee while..no not gonna fall off the earth yet!!so heres a brew and a few jokes too....
I've always believed in a woman's right to choose.
Just the other day I asked my girlfriend, "Would you prefer a cheeseburger happy meal or chicken nuggets?
I was visiting my Granddad when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice, lad. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No, lad, you can't make an omelette," he said, scraping it into the bin.
I spotted my wife on the roof of the local supermarket earlier, with a large crowd below looking up at her.
"Please babe, don't jump!" I pleaded.
"I've had enough," she cried. "I'm gonna kill myself."
"No, you're not," I snapped. "Now get down and we'll go and find a higher roof."
When I was younger, I was always scared of the dentist.
One time, I was in the chair and he was drilling away in my mouth.
At the end, I was crying then he bent over and gave me a lollipop.
"Fck off!" I sobbed. "That's what got me here in the first place."
My gran always says that she never gets any phone calls.
So for her birthday, I put one of those "How's My Driving?" bumper stickers on her car.
I was in chemistry class today and the teacher asked me to name an element.
So I stood up right in front of her and shouted, "AHHHHH!"
Startled, she said, " what the hell was that?"
"The element of surprise," I said.
I asked this Australian bloke how far away I was from Queensland.
He replied, "It's twenty clicks away, mate."
Things must be bad if they've started speaking dolphin.
I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards.
And?
I've always believed in a woman's right to choose.
Just the other day I asked my girlfriend, "Would you prefer a cheeseburger happy meal or chicken nuggets?
I was visiting my Granddad when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice, lad. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No, lad, you can't make an omelette," he said, scraping it into the bin.
I spotted my wife on the roof of the local supermarket earlier, with a large crowd below looking up at her.
"Please babe, don't jump!" I pleaded.
"I've had enough," she cried. "I'm gonna kill myself."
"No, you're not," I snapped. "Now get down and we'll go and find a higher roof."
When I was younger, I was always scared of the dentist.
One time, I was in the chair and he was drilling away in my mouth.
At the end, I was crying then he bent over and gave me a lollipop.
"Fck off!" I sobbed. "That's what got me here in the first place."
My gran always says that she never gets any phone calls.
So for her birthday, I put one of those "How's My Driving?" bumper stickers on her car.
I was in chemistry class today and the teacher asked me to name an element.
So I stood up right in front of her and shouted, "AHHHHH!"
Startled, she said, " what the hell was that?"
"The element of surprise," I said.
I asked this Australian bloke how far away I was from Queensland.
He replied, "It's twenty clicks away, mate."
Things must be bad if they've started speaking dolphin.
I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards.
And?
could you imagine going backin time to 1977 right now? Let's see, I'd be 3 my mom would be 26, no cell phones, no internet, big cars,what else?hope your daughter has a nice birthday Lav,hi Pie,ugh,gotta go get some ginger ale, hello to all, back later
yes stomach was queasy this morning, yesterday too but I think it's something going around cuz Kell had it too,then Louie threw up this afternoon, sheesh always something, glad it was just an ultrasound and went smoothly
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