morn all...jack frost day odasy ..its freezing and whitened up!just let the rabbits out,defrosted madams car and with a cheery smile greeted the world for a new week..not a bad day detecting yesterday coupla Roman bronze coins,and coupla medieval silver ones too..Florida beckons closer,tho not looking forward to a 10.25 hr flight..
right brew time it is....
Det..it's odd... Bush, Obama and Trump have been militant about various nations in the middle east except for the biggest
human rights violator which is Saudi Arabia. Makes one wonder.......ermm nope
The Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority (SAGIA) has said that the United States is the largest trading partner of Saudi Arabia and the Kingdom is the largest market for U.S. exports in the Middle East. ..plus the $31 billion deficit which the US owes Saudi ...not really a head scratcher is it?
Did you get your bird pics???
hiya Lav...how are you today then?all good I hope...full house today or nokidz?if the latter applies then heres a peaceful brew ..if its the former ..then heres a destressor...
hiya pauly...big waves to you
rtx17ykk.jpg
too...nice pic on fb...did you have a good day?
hi snoopster how are you today then?all good I hope...nearly..with the superbowl..oh well look at the bright side ..Scotland won at rugby....
hi marathon............
hi Nora C...how are things with you...?hope things are going good with you ...did you do anything over the weekend?
hi pie ,ppqp,sam the man,starts sk tt and the rest ov the gang.......
Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, ‘K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better.’
Little Johnny's mother shouts, ‘Don't start your father's shit with me!’
Ed was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Ed loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, Little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty’s evening walks.Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: “Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?”
Well, Ed wasn’t sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old? Stalling for time Ed asked: “What do you think he’s doing Johnny?”
Little Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said: “I know! I Know! … He’s checking his P-Mail!”
Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.
‘Sixty is the worst age to be,’ announced the 60 year old, ‘you always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!’
‘Ah, that's nothing,’ said the 60 year old.’When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !’
‘Actually,’ said the eighty year old, ‘Eighty is the worst age of all.’
‘Do you have trouble peeing too?’ asked the sixty year old.
‘No ... Not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all.’
‘Do you have trouble taking a crap?’ asked the 70 year old.
‘No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30.’
With great exasperation, the 60 year old said ‘Let me get this straight.
You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap every morning at six thirty.
What's so tough about being eighty ?’
To which the eighty year old replied, ‘I don't wake up until ten!’
This guy was in a bar talking to his hand.
The bartender came to him and said, ‘I do not want weirdo’s in my bar. I might ask you to leave.’
The guy said, ‘I'm talking to my cell phone. I got tired of carrying my cell phone so I had it embedded into my hand.’ The bartender did not believe him, so the guy had the bartender dial a number and then talked into his hand. The bartender said, ‘How cool!’
As the evening went on the bar got more crowded. The bartender looked up and noticed the guy was gone but his drink and cigarettes were still there. The bartender got worried and went looking for him.
The bartender went into the bathroom and saw the guy on the floor with his pants down to his knees and a roll of toilet paper up his butt. The bartender asked, ‘Are you OK? Who did this to you?’
The guy replied, ‘I'm OK, just waiting for a fax!’
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
‘Why so little,’ she asked the pet-store owner?
The owner looked at her and said, ‘Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.’
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, ‘New house, new madam.’
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, ‘that's not so bad.’
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, ‘New house, new madam, new girls.’
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, ‘Hi Keith!’
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ‘Bring me my red shirt.’ The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: ‘Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?’
The captain replied: ‘If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid.’ All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted: ‘Get me my brown pants.’
A woman with bad breath had tried everything, mouthwash, mints, brushing her teeth several times a day, but nothing helped. She could never keep a boyfriend because of it. When she found a guy she really liked, she put her hand over her mouth when she talked, and avoided kissing.
What she didn't know was that he had a terrible problem with foot odour; if the relationship became intimate, and he pulled off his shoes, he knew she would be gone.
The two dated, with she practically holding her breath, and he never removing his shoes. When he asked her to marry, she said yes, but still didn't tell him about her problem.
On their wedding night, she got into bed and scooted close to him. ‘I have a confession to make,’ she said.
He turned his head, gagging, and said, ‘Don't tell me. You ate my socks.’
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, ‘I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.’
‘Very good, William,’ said the teacher.
‘My mommy had a baby,’ said little Esther.
‘Oh, that's nice,’ replied the teacher.
Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
‘I was watching' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns.’
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, ‘And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?’
‘It'll teach those Indians not to fck with the Lone Ranger.
right brew time it is....
Det..it's odd... Bush, Obama and Trump have been militant about various nations in the middle east except for the biggest
human rights violator which is Saudi Arabia. Makes one wonder.......ermm nope
The Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority (SAGIA) has said that the United States is the largest trading partner of Saudi Arabia and the Kingdom is the largest market for U.S. exports in the Middle East. ..plus the $31 billion deficit which the US owes Saudi ...not really a head scratcher is it?
Did you get your bird pics???
hiya Lav...how are you today then?all good I hope...full house today or nokidz?if the latter applies then heres a peaceful brew ..if its the former ..then heres a destressor...
hiya pauly...big waves to you
rtx17ykk.jpg
too...nice pic on fb...did you have a good day?
hi snoopster how are you today then?all good I hope...nearly..with the superbowl..oh well look at the bright side ..Scotland won at rugby....
hi marathon............
hi Nora C...how are things with you...?hope things are going good with you ...did you do anything over the weekend?
hi pie ,ppqp,sam the man,starts sk tt and the rest ov the gang.......
Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, ‘K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better.’
Little Johnny's mother shouts, ‘Don't start your father's shit with me!’
Ed was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Ed loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, Little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty’s evening walks.Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: “Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?”
Well, Ed wasn’t sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old? Stalling for time Ed asked: “What do you think he’s doing Johnny?”
Little Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said: “I know! I Know! … He’s checking his P-Mail!”
Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.
‘Sixty is the worst age to be,’ announced the 60 year old, ‘you always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!’
‘Ah, that's nothing,’ said the 60 year old.’When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !’
‘Actually,’ said the eighty year old, ‘Eighty is the worst age of all.’
‘Do you have trouble peeing too?’ asked the sixty year old.
‘No ... Not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all.’
‘Do you have trouble taking a crap?’ asked the 70 year old.
‘No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30.’
With great exasperation, the 60 year old said ‘Let me get this straight.
You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap every morning at six thirty.
What's so tough about being eighty ?’
To which the eighty year old replied, ‘I don't wake up until ten!’
This guy was in a bar talking to his hand.
The bartender came to him and said, ‘I do not want weirdo’s in my bar. I might ask you to leave.’
The guy said, ‘I'm talking to my cell phone. I got tired of carrying my cell phone so I had it embedded into my hand.’ The bartender did not believe him, so the guy had the bartender dial a number and then talked into his hand. The bartender said, ‘How cool!’
As the evening went on the bar got more crowded. The bartender looked up and noticed the guy was gone but his drink and cigarettes were still there. The bartender got worried and went looking for him.
The bartender went into the bathroom and saw the guy on the floor with his pants down to his knees and a roll of toilet paper up his butt. The bartender asked, ‘Are you OK? Who did this to you?’
The guy replied, ‘I'm OK, just waiting for a fax!’
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
‘Why so little,’ she asked the pet-store owner?
The owner looked at her and said, ‘Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.’
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, ‘New house, new madam.’
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, ‘that's not so bad.’
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, ‘New house, new madam, new girls.’
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, ‘Hi Keith!’
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ‘Bring me my red shirt.’ The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: ‘Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?’
The captain replied: ‘If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid.’ All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted: ‘Get me my brown pants.’
A woman with bad breath had tried everything, mouthwash, mints, brushing her teeth several times a day, but nothing helped. She could never keep a boyfriend because of it. When she found a guy she really liked, she put her hand over her mouth when she talked, and avoided kissing.
What she didn't know was that he had a terrible problem with foot odour; if the relationship became intimate, and he pulled off his shoes, he knew she would be gone.
The two dated, with she practically holding her breath, and he never removing his shoes. When he asked her to marry, she said yes, but still didn't tell him about her problem.
On their wedding night, she got into bed and scooted close to him. ‘I have a confession to make,’ she said.
He turned his head, gagging, and said, ‘Don't tell me. You ate my socks.’
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, ‘I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.’
‘Very good, William,’ said the teacher.
‘My mommy had a baby,’ said little Esther.
‘Oh, that's nice,’ replied the teacher.
Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
‘I was watching' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns.’
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, ‘And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?’
‘It'll teach those Indians not to fck with the Lone Ranger.
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