Windsday

[Samstone]

Morning all
Just realized it's Lav's 8th birthday!!
Congrats Lav and thanks for being such a steady and calming force heree

Sam

[Mick]

Re: Windsday

hey sam the man ....howz you today then?long time no see buddy...hope all is well in the soil n water game ....cheers for starting the fred...its been raining hard this morning but has faired off to a steady downpour!!!! rabbits are like ...well let us out then!!

brew time it is.....

Pauly ...the self tanner ?you mean a bath of gravy browning ...jump in ...job done!!!!as for today be positive positive positive!!! think future not past... big hug to you...

snoopster howz you today then?all good in your wureld?

ppqp...yep had a good day yesterday...and hit a masseeev traffic jam on the motorway..2 car smash shut it.. glad you got a bit more sleep...and the onion rings

hiya det...hows you ?so you watched the collapse of the bronze age?..its so weird that stuff..and seems so unreal...and yet I have got an axe head and part of a sword that was made then..

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you are doing well mate..sorry bout your group,but stay pos....

hiya Lav...hows the dog ?did you get any more sleep?heres a specially made noddin off brew for you....

right peeps big shout to yall...

I've lost all contacts.
So if you need to get hold of me I'll be wearing glasses.

My mate was rushed into hospital this morning suffering from a severe case of premature ejaculation. I phoned the hospital to get an update of his condition and they replied, "it's touch and go at the moment."

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it. The IRS agent is dumbfounded. The old man bets $3,000 he can bite his other eye. The IRS agent knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees. The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye. Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet $20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop." The agent knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees. The old man indeed misses, peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork. The IRS agent jumps for joy, but then notices the attorney over in the corner moaning. "Are you all right?" asks the agent. "No! On the way over here, he bet me $400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad! -

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"

[paulywogg]

Re: Windsday

Mae everybody, Sam thanks for the kick off Mick,funny jokes,I swear the surprise party joke is something that would happen to me haha,get we haven't had any bunny pics in a while we're due nothing new in my neck of the desert,except cold-warm back to cold and very windy! Need more coffee back later,much love and wishes for a wonderful AF Wednesday

[Determinator]

Re: Windsday

happy happy humpday ABerooooskies!

Sam, good to see you at the tip of the spear on this fine morn.

Mick, those are incredible artifacts you have there...if they could only talk.
ancient anthropology just fascinates me.

Pauly, you sound fantastic have an extra brew on the house.

no group last night but I'm not missing a stride. Too many things on my gratitude list and
too many positive things to do.

PPQ.... onion ring report?

otay, off to great the world

be well loves

[SKendall]

Re: Windsday

MAE. Great jokes Mick.

Good to see you Sam.

Still trying to heal here, I have dr's appt. tomorrow,think my stitches come out and that will reduce the pulling. Every time my knee swells after walking it's even more uncomfortable.

Had wild thunderstorms last night and Peggy becomes neurotic. I loved on her from 2:30 a.m. until 5:30 a.m. Trouble is she still wants the loving up and stands on the computer until she gets it!

Well, Friday is the spine surgery so Teeth - check, knee- check, spine on Friday - check. Apart from recovery and final dental work in 5 months, I should be okay. I'm a bit worried about the spine surgery, they told me to take Tylenol before I left the house. They had me do that years ago when I had a breast biopsy which was done by robot and once the freezing wore off it was brutal. We'll see.

Beautiful day after all that rain so took Peggy on about 1/2 of our walk. Mick, she's a Chihuahua/pug, better known as a chug. Lovely breed just a bit neurotic but I think that came from being months in a cage before I rescued her.:love:

[paulywogg]

Re: Windsday

I love chugs SK,glad you're feeling well

[porqoui]

Re: Windsday

MAE ALL...

Sam...thanks for kicking off the thread...I saved you some cake.

Mick...so did you let the rabbits out? Maybe it's the ducks bringing all the rain. I should talk we're supposed to get rain tomorrow. Bummer about the traffic jam but glad you had a good day.

Pauly...I agree about the rabbit pictures but it may have to stop raining before that happens.

Det...good for you not missing your strike. You sound really good. Onion rings were ace, they hit the spot.

SK...wow, talk about a new woman. Fingers crossed for the surgery on Friday. I think Peggy is a very lucky little chug.

Shout out to Pi, TT and Lav yet to come. Good to see you lurking on the thread GMan.
Tomorrow will hopefully see me wrap up the final details for the memorial on Friday. We're preparing for 300 but have contingency's in place for 500. I'll be glad when Friday's over and I can finally put him to rest. Hoping we all have a peaceful evening....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: Windsday

Good evening Abbers,

Hi there Sam, nice to see you
Yep, had my 8th anniversary on Sunday & am hard at work preparing for my 9th, thanks!

Mick, 'opten toad shoes', LOL
Everyone had a decent night's sleep last night because the dog swallowed a Benadryl tablet at bedtime, ha ha!
I don't mind doing what I have to do to take care of her in her old age but she's gotta let me sleep, geez.
We had a beautiful, blue sky sunny kind of day here. it will be raining the rest of the week I hear, ugh. I was outside earlier checking on the status of the trees & shrubs around here & things are definitely getting ready to bloom.

Pauly, since we get all of our weather from your neck of the country I was wondering if you had any of rain going on. I saw on the news that tornadoes are popping up too.

Det, sorry the therapist wasn't available last evening. Sounds like you are doing things just right

PQ, I hope your memorial plans are settled & you can relax a bit.

SK, just a word from this retired nurse - ice that knee when you exercise & it swells. It helps more than you can imagine.
I can't believe you are having back surgery so soon. Do you have someone available to give you a hand with things? I would be happy to lend a hand if we lived closer. Wishing you the very best :hug:

Hello to anyone else showing up & wishing a peaceful night for all.

Lav

[Determinator]

Re: Windsday

back from the salt mines, tired and sore but positive in general

SK, you're going to be the bionic woman when they get done! Hope it's all good and
painless as possible. Ditto Lav on the ice... it's your friend.

snow tomorrow! better leave a tad early in the morn.

better get back to listing my crap on ebay....

gnight loves

[Determinator]

Re: Windsday

PPQ, that's a huge memorial! all calm in prep?

[porqoui]

Re: Windsday

PPQ, that's a huge memorial! all calm in prep?

Yup...I'm a bit anal restive when it comes to details. LOL Actually just emailed the itinerary to the family and thought I'd pop into the thread.

So glad you're doing so good. :hug: Have a peaceful evening...:smile:PPQP