Anchored August

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

We were blessed with another totally decent day weather-wise
My granddaughter is here for two nights so I am happy. Supposed to rain big time tomorrow so I guess we'll find some indoor projects to pass the time.

Star, we have done SO much home improvement with our previous three houses that I no longer have much interest. I remember feeling quite proud of myself after painting a room or papering the kitchen. It feels good to make things look fresh & new. Enjoy your week & your accomplishments
What you mentioned about trying to learn to accept others for who they are - yeah, that's where I ran into trouble myself. YB changed so drastically between the ages of 42 & 43 I suddenly felt like I was married to a stranger. I didn't know what was going on with him & still don't know. I struggled until I was defeated then just sank into a bottle of wine. I gave up. Looking back on that I wonder why I chose to beat myself up over his serious depression....I don't know. I just know that I won't let that happen again, I learned the hard way.
I am more willing now to just say 'OK, whatever' when someone does not meet my expectations & just let it go. We are in the process of learning to be nicer to ourselves, right?

Pauly, I'm just glad that you were able to pull yourself together. We get no where by continuing to harm ourselves :hug:
Remember, I used the birth of my first grandson as THE motivation I needed to finally kick AL out of my life forever. You can certainly do the same & you'll never be sorry.
I don't blame you for wanting to stay out of creepy meetings. Use us as your support group, OK?

Hello Cyn!

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Pauly, I am glad you are back on the sober train and feeling better day by day. I don't like home improvement projects much, just the results. Wonder if there are any meetings just for women or any new meetings. Nice to take your hubby out for a meal.

Lav, it's important for me to be less judgemental, and if I expect people to be who I want them to be, well, it is not going to happen. I am trying to focus on myself. I have not lost the weight I gained on vacation, so today I am going to really start a week of eating less. I am meeting a work friend for lunch and will just have a salad. I care less and less about the people I used to work with, just not in that world anymore, and the thought of going back to the field I was in, yuck. At least not right now. I know it is really hard to be around depressed people, they are very self-absorbed, so I can see that you were desperate for relief from all that bad energy. Drinking alcohol was just not a good choice, but all the new strategies you have used over time are much better. Being good to ourselves by letting go, that is a great idea.

I have a somewhat busy Monday, the weather is cooler now so no pool. Darn, I hate to miss these least few weeks of pool time, but what can you do.

Have a good one.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends,Star this summer has seemed to just flyby! I think you're a year sober now though right? Can't remember the date but I know it was August,I think it was August anyways, I still can't get my eating right,I seem to do better on a high protein diet,carbs make me exhausted, I'm really glad the veg is working out for you,I think I'd die,I found that I use food for pleasure and thats not a good thing,I know but its just too much on my plate(get it?!) to try and focus on avoiding al,sugar,wheat,meat,cigs,carbs,dairy,etc when does Cyn come back? I'm missing her Lav,I'm trying to use the support here,its hard cuz sometimes if I'm craving al I don't like to write it out cuz it makes it feel more real,I tend to just let the thought pass,maybe I need to work on that,not sure what's going on with the daily thread too many peeps MIA makes it a lonely place,downloaded a walking app on my phone but man it drains the battery! Plus I never take my phone on walks+I have a fitbit anyways so I might delete it again,went to see Michelle for a bit yesterday, I don't know why I'm so tough on her and feel like I can berate her,I don't do that with the other kids why her? Maybe I expect too much out if her I dunno,she was high when we got there and I cussed her out,I feel like a damn hypocrite!! Anyways it turned out ok we went and got coffee,I posted a pic of her bf's super white feet on fb cuz he had worked outside all week directing traffic and got BROWN!at least his calves haha,anyhoo,wishing us all an easy AF Monday

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

Rainy Monday here but that's OK.
Entertaining a 6 year old is much easier than a toddler, ha ha! We baked cookies & used fabric markers to color in these placemats I made last summer with animal outlines stitched in black. Pretty cool looking

Star, I did so much reading when I started on this journey & the Buddhist teachings made the most sense to me. I have quite a few books in my Kindle app so I read & reread them often (especially if I feel I need a refresher). I just decided that if I want to survive & even thrive then I need to change the way I think about things & people. We can turn blue waiting for someone else to change, right? I look back now & see where I had gotten to a stage where I was feeling panic because I had waited & waited for things to 'go my way' & they never did, never will.
I felt so let down & so disappointed & really started feeling sorry for myself. That was a huge mistake & I suffered for that, believe me. Changing our thinking is a huge gift to ourselves & is the best self care, hands down
Don't be too hard on yourself about weight. I am at the point where I just want to feel good, the way I look & the # on the scale are secondary.

Pauly, taking control of your thoughts will help accomplish what you want. The best thing I ever learned was that we don't have to believe or act on every stupid thought have have - go figure!!!!
I don't step outside without my phone in my pocket. I won't even walk to the chicken house or my mailbox without my phone. We are so isolated here that no one would ever know if I tripped & fell or had a heart attack or something. Take your phone with you girl - you never know!!!!
What is Michelle doing with herself? Is she working or looking for work? Thanks for explaining those white feet in the picture, ha ha!!!

Cyn, hope you are well

Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Finally got a good night's sleep, I put my cat upstairs and shut the door, she has been restless at night and has kept waking me up. I felt guilty but when I opened the door this morning, she was fine.

Pauly, I would be upset too if I went to one of my kids to visit and they were stoned. I would say something too, like what are you thinking or something, and it would probably not come out too nice. You love your kids and want the best for them, period. Nothing wrong with that. I find I have different emotions all day long, that is just the way we are wired, and thoughts, geez, all over the place, but we don't have to act on them. Easier said then done I know. This summer, like all summers for me feels like it is ending or beginning to end now that it is August. In the midwest the bug sounds are louder, the color of the trees are a little different already, sun setting a little earlier, and you can feel the earth is changing. Regarding the daily thread, with Mick gone or taking a break, there is less action, but glad to see Determinator posting and doing well. MWO seems to have less and less activity, but still the regulars are here so I read what I can daily, contribute here, and appreciate everyone's contributions. In so many ways this is a sacred special site, we are all trying to improve ourselves, stay AF and support and help each other. Pretty awesome.

Lav, nice you and granddaughter had a good visit, I have my grandson again today for an overnight, oh boy, a three year old has to be entertained for sure. Not sure what we will do since it is a little too chilly to swim. I am reading about three books at the same time, they are helpful and keep my mind fresh with new ideas, so I like that. I am trying to be content with just being who I am. My lunch with former co worker went well, the same old BS there, and the guy who was back stabbing me is now doing my job, what a little rat he is, oh well, I have had a great summer and have been able to spend time on myself, something I needed. It still hurts though, I look back and know that my time there was up without my boss's support. I have this extra weight and it does not feel good on me, so that is why I am focused on shedding the pounds, it is uncomfortable to be this heavy. I think I just have to eat much less, it is hard. I love food and to cook. Tonight, salad, veggie pasta and red sauce, with bread. I will be feeding three males so they need lots of food.

Have a good one.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends,for some reason monthly abs isn't showing up on my homepage? I had to press your avatar Star just to get here,that's weird,I know all my girls smoke weed and there's nothing much I can do about it and tbh I don't think its that bad I'd rather them do that then drink,i certainly cant smoke it...ive tried and it was creepy!but Michelle acts too goofy on it and I get irritated, she is working though,after they made it legal here jobs aren't so strict on the drug testing,Lav I can't believe you carry your phone to the chicken coop haha,I understand why though,my brother and his wife had their baby boy yesterday, just thinking of all the things Jon's missed out on in just a couple months of not being here I got 20,000+ steps yesterday I just was a walking machine and I loved it gonna try it again today,work was busy too my coworker and I did nearly 20 haircuts each by 11 am,can't do any of this stuff while drinking! Barely walk from my couch to the kitchen,do the dishes all shittily, throw something in the oven for dinner for Brady and hubs,back to the couch and be stuck in my mind on a loop,no bueno! Wishing us all a happy AF Tuesday(did you know on other forums,magazines, etc AF stands for something else? Hope lurkers don't think I'm saying that haha)

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

Much different at home tonight without Miss Happy here, ha ha! It was nice having her for two nights I have to admit.

Star, just wait a few years & everything changes with the kids. The past two nights she read to me instead of me reading to her The school district requires at least 10 minutes of reading each day over the summer, such a good thing. We pick up books cheap when the libraries have sales so we always have something of interest for the kids.
I am so grateful that I am no longer dealing with work related stress. The day to day mood swings of coworkers was exhausting & even worse when you're dealing with mostly females, Lol
Then when you're in a position where you have charge duties & have to be responsible for the actions & inactions of your team....... Just so happy to be out of all that.
I'll bet that you know you're not really missing anything, right? Enjoy what's left of the summer, enjoy your family, enjoy reading, cooking & taking care of yourself.

Pauly, none of us in our family ever got into pot primarily because of our jobs. Even our kids are subject to random drug testing in their jobs too & would not take the risk. My biggest concern is the $$ spent on buying pot. It's not cheap & there's always bills needing to be paid & futures to be concerned about. I wasted plenty of money on smokes & wine, I am hardly sinless.
I do have a growing interest in medical marijuana & know quite a few people who would likely benefit (like my nephew's wife with MS).
I am a much happier person not having any of that stuff in my life any more, honestly. I am always seeking ways to increase my energy & productivity (think good nutrition, supplements & exercise). Congrats on the 20,000+ steps - nice!!!! My Fitbit is sitting on my bathroom counter these days....

Hello to Cyn, hope we hear from you soon.

I think we are going to head down to a National Wildlife Refuge in Delaware on Thursday called Bombay Hook. I think we can purchase Lifetime passes there for $10 (they are going up to $80 the end of the month). They have a nice FB page if you want to take a look.

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Lav you strap that bad boy on and get your steps in haha I agree on the mood swings of coworkers, I always tell hubs I don't need theirs I have enough of my own

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Very busy day yesterday, took my grandson to eat outside, feed the ducks, park, library and later swimming. Whew, it was so fun and I slept like a rock last night, but since I went to bed around 9:30, up early. The weather here has been perfect, sunny, low humidity and around 80 degrees, really loving this time of year. Today possibly the zoo then drive grandson home. Very grateful and thankful for lovely summer days spent with loved ones.

Pauly, drinking alcohol just drains us. I was talking to a lady at exercise and she was saying she was anxious, then admitted she has been drinking wine almost daily, but is not ready to stop yet. She knows it is making her anxious, but continues. Sounded familiar, hope she can stop, it is not as easy as she thinks, the habit becomes part of the daily schedule. Whew, you are rocking and rolling the hair cuts, sounds kind of fun! Hope your day is great today. I have not had problems with this site lately, but have in the past.

Lav, it is a different dynamic once the grandson leaves, so quiet and kind of boring. He was wild yesterday, I bought him new pajamas with a cape and he was flying around the house. My son came over and he is doing well thank goodness. Had a great vegetarian dinner, tonight brushetta and corn on the cob, grown on the farm a half mile away. It doesn't get better than that for me at least.

Hello Cyn, to all have a great hump day.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends, Star,when I first came to mwo and got my al consumption down to maybe one beer a night I still had anxiety, headaches and dizziness,I figured it's just how I was and never assumed it could possibly be the one or two beers,,duh! It was only after longer sober streaks that I realized it wasn't me it was the booze even in small amounts go figure,hope your friend gives up the wine,we hear so much about how great moderate drinking is for our health horseshit! I'm tired of hearing that, I posted in steppers about a new sparkling spiked seltzer that's obviously marketed toward women cuz the can has pink writing on it,it has 6% al in it but...its gluten free! Says so on the can,I thought that was absolutely ridiculous, I'm glad you had a nice visit with your son and grandson and his cape jammies haha,sounds just like Lou and I'm always scared he's gonna get hurt cuz he likes to jump from couch,to ottoman,to other couch,coffee table aaah! Lav,not sure what's gonna happen with the daily thread,I think nobody wants to post cuz Mick's gone? I just couldn't find it yesterday, only got 17,000 steps yesterday cuz I was tired from lack o sleep and had to try and nap after work hopefully today I'm less of a zombie, wishing us all a wonderful AF Wednesday

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

I have to remember to charge up my Fitbit tonight. I will wear it tomorrow when we go to the wildlife refuge tomorrow & see what happens, ha ha.
Speaking of capes, my granddaughter showed up here Sunday wearing a cape & matching mask. She had just come from a birthday party & all of the kids went home with those things in their goody bags.

Star, I'm glad you enjoyed your grandson time. Being tired after a day with them is actually a good thing, means you had a great time
I put together a dairy free vegetable quiche for dinner, easy & yummy. I don't eat eggs often (YB eats them daily - too much). His cholesterol #s are rising & he won't listen to my advice. His choice.
I had three embroidery orders to do today so tomorrow I am taking the day off, Lol. I am done working full time, been there & done that. Keep enjoying your nice weather!

Pauly, I read something yesterday that reminded me that I likely made all the nasty peri-menopausal symptoms a whole lot worse by drinking
I am glad that I can finally look back at all that with a clear view & know for sure that I am in charge of my thoughts & decisions. There will be no more drinking for me, not ever.
Alcohol marketing is a damn disgrace & needs to stop. There is absolutely nothing glamorous or 'pink' about ingesting poison, ugh.

Cyn, we are all missing you!

Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Dont forget gluten free Lav haha

[Determinator]

Re: Anchored August

Heya ABerooos!

i can't post on the daily thread since I'm having trouble navigating the site...? I can only post where the last post was made. again...?

anyhoo, hope all are good and well. I've got a phone interview for a possible new job tomorrow so fingers crossed there.

Pauly, pink gluten-free poison... sounds lovery. not.

Lav, what are you doing at the wildlife shelter?

just plugging along here trying to figure out the money mystery and just very grateful to be struggling with 'normal' things
and with a clear brain.

be well loves

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Det,I had to go to the "our goals" little section for monthly abs to show up,try that, man I've been driving around since 2 cuz Michelle's car got towed cuz they let the temporary tag expire,hour and a half sitting in my car at the tow yard,then DMV,then took them back home put a fork in me I'm done for the day zzzz

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Pauly, capes and flying around the house can be risky, my grandson has crashed into furniture many times, but running is his way of getting around! It was fun to have him, I was tired last night. Yes, the media that says drinking moderately is good for us is BS, just like alot of the other gov't info on food like dairy, meat, etc. I am cynical now, not believing much.

Lav, have fun today exploring the Refuge. Sounds fun. We went to the zoo yesterday and it was great but got hot as the day went on.

Det, stop by any time to post, we love to hear from you. Hope you interview goes well. Good to hear you are doing well.

Have a good one.