w/c 14th

[Mick]

hiya all...well 5am ...just loading the van...hope all are well.......off detecting ...just outside Lincoln...

sk ..yep you would know Heywood

feeling bit better today Lav

Pauly best of luck with Kell

hiya ppqp hows the culinary skills doing?

hiya det

hiya sam ,tt ,

sorry if missed anyone ...take it eazee


The guy who found a trumpet growing in his garden- he rooted it oot

Who's the coolest guy in hospital? The Ultra sound bloke.

Who's the second coolest guy in the hospital? The hip replacement guy!

Guy walks into the pub with a giraffe on a lead. Leaves it sitting at a table and goes to order a pint.



Barman says, you cant leave that lyin there.



Guy says, its not a lion its a giraffe.

Dog walks into a bar and orders a pint and a packet of crisps." Wow" says the barman, "You should be in a Circus"



Dog, "Why" "Are they looking for Electricians"

Two pieces of vomit walking down the road, one says to the other " see that shop doorway?" Aye says the other, what aboot it? "That's where I was brought up!"

Two monkeys in a bath



One turns to the other and says 'OOO AAHHH AHH AHH!'



The other says 'Put some cold in then'

Why don't pirates have any painkillers?



Because the parrots-eat-em-all

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 14th

Good Luck with detecting Mick. Yup up late tonight but heading to bed now....:smile:PPQP

[Samstone]

Re: w/c 14th

Dang, got some early birds here

good luck 'tecting Mick. Cold your way today PQ? chilled off here, from 60º to 15º this weekend.

Waves to all!!

gotta meet someone about a survey, later.....

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 14th

Mae everybody,Mick have fun hi Sam and PQ,ugh my nerves are a wreck. Just need to keep things in stride and know Kell and the baby will be fine,I'll be happy and calmer once he's here though,,much love to all and wishes for a great AF Sunday

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 14th

MAE ALL...

Sam...we're flirting around 32F so can't complain. Going up to 45F by Tuesday. Veying on a Sunday! Sounds like you're over the "yucks".

Pauly...lay off the caffeine this morning and keep those nerves calm. Trust in the Doc's, everything will be fine. Will be checking back in for updates. :hug:

Shout out to all to come....:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 14th

Its tomorrow PQ but I'm just super excited and ready for him to be here

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 14th

Its tomorrow PQ but I'm just super excited and ready for him to be here

:hanging: We'll be hanging in there for you and Kell.

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 14th

Good evening Abbers,

I am retriever free now so I am smiling, ha ha!!!!
My son came to pick them up around 7 pm, quiet here now!

Mick, glad you got out to detect, hope you found something worth getting up super early for

Sam, it's cold be we didn't get any precipitation this weekend, did you? Hope you are close to being all mended now.

Det, a possible move to HI? Wow, that's big!
Glad you have found some mutual sober friends in the meantime, that's great!

PQ, forgive me if I scared you out of your shoes on FB today!
I get scared when I see recipes posted that are potential sodium bombs like that The average person cooks for taste, not necessarily for health & nutrition, I get that. We simply cannot cook the way our ancestors did, they didn't have the knowledge that we have these days. All 4 of my grandparents & one of my parents died from heart disease........I'm not going there if I can help it, you know? I just want all of us to be happy & as healthy as possible!

Pauly, we are all with you in spirit & can't wait to hear the baby news

Hi there SK!

Have a peaceful evening everyone!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: w/c 14th

hiya folks howare we all ?I tried to get on here earlier this mornin...and hmm cant seen to find the page is not the reply you want to see at 6am....so anyways here we are at last ..

right pauly where are we up to with Kell?has she had the baby yet?is it congrats granny..?lots of goohing and aaaahing on the way...

hiya Lav ..how are you ? was out yesterday ...cold was the main theme of the day...found a couple of bits and pieces and a silver coin from the 1300s..could def have done with a brew or some soup yesterday..it was baltic..and the weather today its hammering down with rain and we are forecast snow this week!so lets get a brew on.

hiya ppqp...what kind of temps are those ..you are well up on us ..that cant be right?you had a decent weekend?what is on the cards for you today then?

hey sam....hows you then today? you good? has the dreaded lurgy gone? I hope so

pretty short today but not a lot to report on......


take it easy folks..

I took my wife to Scotland to see if we could spot the Loch Ness Monster. We were only there for a couple of minutes when I noticed something in the water.

"There it is!" I shouted. "There's something fcking horrible looking right at us."

"That's my reflection," said my wife.

Where does a baby ape sleep....................


..................In an apricot

What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?



You can't wash your face in a Buffalo

What kind of dinosaur always had difficulty sitting down ?



The Tyranno sore ass.



What kind of cheese is made backwards?



Edam.

A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price.

He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the negligee home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - do the modeling naked - return it tomorrow and get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'. So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.

The husband says 'F*** me, it wasn't that creased in the shop. What's happened to it?'

The funeral is next Friday



The new proposed council tax-evaluation policy will mean reassessment of current house values based on living in a nice and desirable areas.

That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas.

There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leads. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked.

Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for racist comments. A shopkeeper blamed him for arranging the murder of his son and his son's girl-friend, but nothing has been proved.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thinks is gay.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. It is not known if they have the same father. They are out of control.

I hate living near Windsor Castle.


There was a height challenged man down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.

The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors!

Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc" he asked?

The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots".

'Are the tablets doing you any good?' asked the doctor.

'Well, to be honest,' said Murphy, 'I haven't started taking them yet.'

'Why ever not?' asked the doctor.

'Well,' said Murphy, 'you told me to swallow them after a hot bath and I haven't finished swallowing the hot bath yet!

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 14th

Mae everybody,last night was shite! Kell left for the hospital at almost 1 am for her appointment,called hubs at 1:10 with a flat tire! So he had to get out of bed and drive clear up there to fix it,meanwhile she had called the hospital to let them know she'd be late and they had no record of her being induced that night,they had the 17th! So no babe until Wednesday now I gotta peel my arse up to work cuz I hafta take Wed and Thurs off instead,I'm tired but I'll make it,irritated by this fiasco and poor Kell was crying sooo hard when I called her at 2 am poor thing,much love to all and wishes for an EASY AF Monday

[Pie]

Re: w/c 14th

Checking in from Flu land. Grabbed a hold of me Thursday night and won't let go. Crawling right back into a hole now.

[treetops]

Re: w/c 14th

Hi there. Oh that's pretty awful for Kell. She will need to rest now. If its any consolation Pauly I had an emotional day with my daughter yesterday although she is not about to give birth! Just lots of life stuff but we talked and hugged and I think it's Ok. She's not even 20 - that's next month but feeling pressured to know what she wants to do with her life. We caught up with family in the weekend which was nice but they asked her the usual questions about jobs, boyfriends etc and she just doesn't know. I want her to get a good education and she is doing well in that department. I also want her to be happy of course.
well Hawaii has certainly been in the news, I have friends there - like what do you do when you get the missile alert and only have 15 minutes left? Thank goodness it was a false alarm.
Hope folk are keeping warm as it's about 30 degrees Celsius here. Not very cold!!!
Catch you later and keep breathing Pauly. Oops that's what you will tell Kell.

[treetops]

Re: w/c 14th

Sorry about the flu Pie.

[Determinator]

Re: w/c 14th

oh my Pauly... hang in there dear. it will be smiles soon!

Mick, no treasure? I'm following your lead and spent some time in the dentists chair today as my medical coverage ends at the
end of the month and good thing I did as I have some work to do, and back tomorrow. weeeeee

Snoop and Treegirl, great to see you both

SK, sorry didn't hear whats up?

Lav, dogbreath free at last! hopefully your routine is back to normalish.

I'm going to a Darma Sang meditation class tonight...should be interesting.

Did another hike yesterday morn with friend. at this rate I'll be ready for the 'extra special' olympics soon

ciao for now loves

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 14th

Greeting Abbers,

Cold, dark & w@iting fir snow - ho hum!

Mick, a coin frim the 1300’s sounds pretty cool
I’ll make you a pot of soup in tge 8nstant pot & ship it over to you for your next outing!

Pie, so sorry about tge flu. Take care of yourself, lits of liquids :hug:

Pauly, I’m sorry about the hospital mixip. That should just not happen, ever! Hang in there.

TT, it’s not easy deciding what you want to do as a career. My daughter changed course a few times but now seems settled. Most people do change careers a time or two during their work years. She will find something, I’m sure.

Det, good you are using your benefits wisely. Good luck with the dentist!

I’m doing some work for my daughter’s scout troop but it’s fun stuff so I am happy.

Hello to PQ & anyone else popping in tonight.

Peace to everyone!

Lav