Freedom February

[Snoopy56]

Re: Freedom February

Good morning...

Hello to everyone, I am doing better, happy to be AF and working with a group of people who have years of sobriety and appreciate the face to face help.

Lav, love the craft work you are doing the book pillows are so cool, I want one. What a great idea.

Pauly, glad you are back.

Cyn, your trip sounded great.

Skendall, your family issues sound extremely difficult, if I could move to Canada I would. I am upset about where our country is currently with violence and is going with an idiot wanting to arm teachers and make all of us walk around ready to kill people rather than sensible gun control. I was happy to see you would not bow down to being treated poorly by your daughter, I would not either. Our health care system is such a mess too, we need good government to guide all these systems, and we don't have it and will not for the forseeable future.

I will be stopping in from time to time, the purpose of this site was for help and this has not worked out this way for me, but I do feel that you are friends and care about you all deeply. I just need more in a different way and will do anything and everything to maintain my sobriety as it is a life and death situation for me. MWO is not enough for me. We are all different and have to figure out what works for us.

Have a good one.

[treegirl]

Re: Freedom February

Morning all,

Pauly, great to see you! I hope you and the fam are doing well, and the new baby is thriving. Hope to hear more!

Star, thanks so much for the update and letting us know. I am glad you hope to pop in now and again so that we can hear your 'voice', and so glad that you are getting face-to-face help that is working for you -- you go girl!

SK, what a nice thing that you have found a dog sitter (close by - ha!). What a funny story about the woman cutting your hair. There are so many micro-cultures in our lives, aren't there?

Lav, I love those projects, what fun! Funny, I seem to remember granddaughter's birth - you had a shower with a diaper tree, right? How time flies...

Yesterday after doing my daily guided affirmations I saw a link to something that caught my eye, an explanation (from Gaiam) on the pineal gland - many think that it is the physical body gland that is represented in so many cultures and art with the "halo". It is literally a third eye inside of our brains, very sensitive to real sunlight. It's not a long video, if you are interested. On this iPad I can't seem to copy the URL, but you can just search "the secrets of the pineal gland" by Collective Awakening.

TO THE LIGHT!!!

[Lavande]

Re: Freedom February

Chilly greetings friends!

Rain & dropping temps, Brrr. I will get this fireplace lit shortly
Picked up my dozen chicks today, so cute as always. They are in my laundry room for now until the garage is a bit warmer. I have to keep the door closed to keep the nosy dog & cat away from them. Half of them are Australorps - a new breed for me Australorp | BackYard Chickens
I think they will go along well with the Buff Orpingtons Buff Orpingtons Chicken Breed Information Pictures | BackYard Chickens
Both breeds are large but docile, lay large brown eggs & are nice to the grandkids (which is a big deal for me). So far, so good

Star, so good to see you & glad to hear you have found your local tribe, that's great!
I don't think it matters how we get to be AF as long as we get there. We need to be AF to be happy & healthy. I am very happy for you!
I imagine that we will all be here for quite some time to come so do stop in & say Hi!

SK, are you still feeling chilly in TX today? I know you get fast changing weather there as well.
So you have personal experience dealing with someone in manic mode as well? It's certainly not easy & for a child it must be pretty scary at times. I purposely do not ask my grandsons anything about their mother. When they mention her I listen & occasionally respond but always in a non-judgmental way. They know what to expect when they come to see me, they are comfortable here. I need to keep myself in top working order so they never get disappointed in me & are never afraid to come here. One of the many reasons I remain AF.
I hope your 5 minute walk to the dog sitter is working out better for you

Cyn, one of the guided meditations I use talks about the third eye I will look up your video as well.
I am playing around with more designs in my head & will get some stitched out this weekend, I hope. I like doing this fun stuff after 15 years of corporate logos, one after another after another. Boredom set in a while ago with that so I needed a new direction.

Pauly, hope you are well today!

Wishing everyone a nice night!
Lav

PS: Here's the link for the youtube video Cyn mentioned: pineal gland youtube - Bing video

[treegirl]

Re: Freedom February

Hi all -

Lav, just you and me here so far, eh? So glad the chickens arrived safely - what an interesting name! I had no idea that different breeds had different behavioral characteristics, fascinating. Thanks for posting that link - somehow I can't grab urls to copy when I am on the iPad... probably user error! Wishing you a happy day today embroidering.

SK, what a story about your growing up years, gracious. Glad that you survived and are such an excellent person. My step-daughter spent her childhood with a mother who was abusive and completely unpredictable, so I often congratulate her on bringing herself up well into the world!
Hope you get warmer and have some sun today.

Pauly, how's things - truly?' Hope you are doing OK.

Star, thanks again for the message, so good to think of you with a helpful 'tribe' as Lav says.

Dark and cold yesterday with rain and snow. I am enjoying a few rays of sun right now before they disappear. I awoke with seemingly every muscle in my body cramped, and a am working through a massive headache - brought on by what? Who knows... I think that despite all the lugging of bags and backpacks, all the activity during our trip was really good for me. Yesterday I was at the computer all day, and I fear this was the result. Oh well - off to feel better and work out all the kinks!

Enjoy the light, all ---

[paulywogg]

Re: Freedom February

Morning friends,Cyn,I'm ok but now back to the sleep issue that's probably the only thing good that came out of my relapse,I could sleep through the night but that sleep came at a price cuz I couldn't function through the day anyways,got a haircut and I absolutely hate it! Oh well hope it grows fast,waves to Star,SK and Lav,hope we all have a wonderful AF Saturday

[SKendall]

Re: Freedom February

Pauly, so glad you're back in the house! I wish I could help you sleep.

Star, how nice to see you and being sensible regarding your support system. We'd love to see you once in a while to see how you're getting along.Lav, the chicks sound sooooo cute. The picture you posted looks like a very elegant hybrid.

Cyn, I am definitely going to research the pineal gland. I knew that it controlled light/sleep but didn't as the third eye.

Please don't focus on trump and arming teachers. It is just his hysterical reaction to the latest indictments because Mueller set a signal yesterday that he wasn't just focused on the Russian influence but money laundering! Trump is now a scared rabbit. I did some research on his plan to build a hotel in Batumi (sp) and The Silk Road Group. Also his casinos that were used for money laundering - "ouch". Like Lav says, not going to happen. This guy was scum in the 80's, his friends are low lifes. Manafort's new indictments are all about money laundering.

The thunderstorms started very early this a.m. so I'm pretty tired. I'm not going in the bathroom with you Peggy. That's her safe place and if I put on the fan it blocks out the noise and she can't see the lightning. I just cannot stay in there because it's very uncomfortable to sit on the john. It's painful to even take a full breath. So I'll stick to her music. It's brightened up now. I had to take Uber to 7-11 to get milk. I lost my car keys AGAIN, and I was out of coffee creamer. I threw out a lot of garbage yesterday and I'm worried that's where it is. Stress has an impact on memory, lol according to an article I read in the NYT. That explains a lot.

I may pop in later.

[SKendall]

Re: Freedom February

Remember In Roberta Jewell's book she recommended the Calm's Forte for anxiety coming off the booze? I found some today that I bought in wahlgreen's. I remember I used to take about 4 or 5 to get some effect.

Andrea is denying Vivian coming over for 4 weeks in a row. I think an appeal to social worker/court is necessary.

[Lavande]

Re: Freedom February

Good evening friends,

Damp, dark & chilly here but I know it could be worse!
I don’t care what the research studies show, I definitely ache more in this weather, ho hum.
Other than that not much else going on here. The chicks are settled in & happy. So far I’ve been able to keep the dog & the cat away from them, ha ha.

Cyn, I love my ipad some days, like today - Other days not so much. I tend to make more typos on the ipad & not notice them, oh well.
The little girl from across the road came in to see the chicks today, she was thrilled. She’s my grandson’s age, about 9 or so.
I picked up more fabric today to continue on my reading pillow journey
I hope we both get rid of the aches soon, they are not nice.

SK, that’s such a shame about your visits with your granddaughter. Why would anyone do that? It’s just mean spirited.
I hope you find your keys, they can be expensive to replace these days. Did I mention that I lost a pair of glasses last Week? First yime I’ve ever done that, geez. Luckily I have old ones or I wouldn’t be able to read.
I hope you find some relief for your discomforts too. We all seem to be keeping each other company in the pain department

Pauly, keep searching for healthier ways to sleep. You know AL cannot be a long term answer.
I sm relying more & more on different hypnotic recordings. I’ll always stick with the herbal sleep aids, don’t want the Rx stuff. I’ve been dealing with this lackluster sleep situation for 22 @#$& years now & I don’t think it’s going anywhere soon.
So why don’t you like your hair cut? Too short? How’s the baby doing & his big brother?

Hello to Star!

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[SKendall]

Re: Freedom February

Found my keys!
I know Lav and I used those same words in a text. She is using Vivian to hurt me. A lot of people enjoy the fact that their kids are loved. aka it takes a village...
I've been googling this today, and didn't realize how many adult children cut their parents off for seemingly no reason. I am allowed to see her at their house on Wednesday for 30 minutes. She wanted the perfect mother, so she hasn't forgiven me for my drinking issues. Should be fun visiting after the blow out.

I learned today that keeping the door open is good, but don't lose confidence or blame yourself. A lot of mothers are too embarrassed about the situation, so keep silent. I feel a lot better having read about it and realizing she has become my MIL, who despite her sour demeanour I got along with. It was difficult at times, but I persisted

Anyway maybe it is the weather Lav, but today was all about pain. I couldn't wait for the dog walker to come. Well, he didn't so I went to his place and he was playing with other kids, so I asked him if he was sure about taking her and he said yes. I turned around to go home and he just sulkily walked her back to my door where she was straining. He then walked her across the parking lot. I had planned to vaccum while she was gone and I hadn't even plugged in the vac and he was back with his head bowed. Today was his seventh day and he hasn't shown up for 3 and hasn't bonded, or made an effort to.

If that were Vivian she would have walked her a half mile chatting to her, and would come back to borrow a hammer so she could build you a house and put the $15.00 into a bank. She told me she wants to open a 401K, but has to wait until she is 16! Tamundo and her are the same age. There were a lot of kids wanting to walk Peggy and I'll choose someone else.

Well, that's me for today. Good night.

[treegirl]

Re: Freedom February

Hi all -

Pauly, how great to hear from you! So sorry about the sleep issues... I know you are working hard to find a solution... keep at it, you will figure it out. Yesterday I realized that when I did a little meditation and yoga regularly it started to really change my life, but I let them drop away. Now because of sleep and other issues I am starting up again, even if it is just a little bit. I don't do classes, but listen to guided meditations and some simple poses that I learned. Yesterday I realized how out of touch I have become with my body/mind... so I will carve a little time out each day now. I am always wishing you strength and the best in your journey. Stay close!

Lav, I am just remembering back -- did you go to Longwood with your daughter and granddaughter? I wish there was a beautiful place close by here - it would be great to walk into a rooms full of bloom and that earthy scent. I am good with snow and winter, but not crazy about this cold rain and wind business - though it will be nice to get the sand off of everything. But ice!? No thanks. Maybe I will get some fresh flowers for a couple of rooms in my house - we just got some nice candles yesterday... Enjoy your embroidery!

SK, you continue to crack me up with your descriptions of things. Vivian sounds like a live wire! so sorry that DD is playing these ridiculous games. I admire your perspective, and congratulate you on staying the course - I hope you get some nice time with Viv soon. No, sitting in the bathroom for an entire length of a storm is not a good idea, lol! I hope a combination of your 'fixes' gets Peggy through the next storm. Finding good dog walkers/caretakers is a challenge and takes some time - don't lose heart! I also must say I admire your tenacity in face of pain... just one day of struggle with that was a big reminder for me - congrats on keeping your spirits up.

Star, sending you lots of support. I thought of you yesterday listening to my Guided Affirmation meditation with the words "I'm not my past, I am creating my own future." So true for each and every one of us! I know your future is bright.

Well, I am changing my eating again - back to the SIBO diet for awhile. I ate lots of stuff that I shouldn't have while away, and sheesh are carbs habit-forming! My body is definitely telling me that I have taken a wrong turn, so I need to retrace my steps and get back on a better path for my issues. No food is worth feeling poorly...

Sending all virtual flowers �� today --

[paulywogg]

Re: Freedom February

Morning friends,sorry to keep whining over my sleep issues,its just that it interferes with my life,decision making,energy at work,etc and I'm baffled that it was all of a sudden,last night I tried tryptophan supplement and that made it worse! My mind was awake while my body was exhausted,ho hum,very strange experience,its just time to get healthy and strong especially when it comes to AL,I'm fed up with the starts/stops and even if I don't do anything super crazy it still kills my faith in myself and I'm tired of that! I really wish I'd have stuck to my Dec quit I wanted this year to be a blank page as far as AL and I'm having a hard time not being pissed at myself,anyhow,waves to Cyn,SK and Lav have a great AF Sunday!

[SKendall]

Re: Freedom February

Evening.

Today was a gorgeous spring day! About 68 and sun shining.

I watched this movie called Breathe, not the series, but the movie. It was a magnificent move that was so inspirational and moving based on a true story. A bit of a tear jerker, but it had 5 stars and shows you what the human spirit can do, and love.

Pauly, sorry you're still not sleeping. I think you should go back to dr and ask for a 30 day dose of Ativan or Trazadone, your quality of life is suffering. Make sure you tell him what's going on, how long it's been going on. If you tell him/her that you are using alcohol to sleep I'm sure he would prescribe something. Trazadone is not addictive.

The dog walker didn't turn up, so he's gone. I went into apt. office today to tell them the gate was stuck and she asked me about the dog walker and I told her. She said a lady here who does walking is looking to walk a dog!, Serendipity! Also, had my garbage outside because it's difficult to put it into the compactor and paid maintenance to take it for me and they didn't. My splendid neighbor took it out for me without my knowing.

We are getting curbside pick up in April, an extra charge but so worth it.

I feel pretty darned good. Goodnight.

So, between the movie, new dog walker and my neighbor, my spirit is renewed and I'm grateful.

[Lavande]

Re: Freedom February

Good evening friends,

Still dealing with the chilly dampness here but it's supposed to improve this coming week. I sure hope so!
Baby chicks are happy so I'm happy, ha ha!
Tomorrow is my granddaughter's 7th BD, time is flying!

Cyn, yesterday you mentioned the baby shower I had here for my daughter. That was a diaper 'cake' I made for decoration with tons of little bitty newborn sized diapers.
I did meet my daughter & granddaughter at Longwood Gardens last week. It happens to sit about halfway between our houses so it's a wonderful place to meet up. Nothing like a trip there when you really need a color boost in your life.
I have been pushing the sleep hypnosis lately & I really think it helps. I doubt that any of us will ever regain the sleep of our youth. That's just the way it goes as you begin to age. I worked night shift for many years & I'm here to tell you that no one sleeps in a hospital, ha ha! I think we get more rest that we realize when we stick to a good bedtime routine.

Pauly, hang in there, everything will be OK.
All of my studies & work experience never prepared for these changes in midlife. Somehow I thought I could just BS my way through & be fine - that doesn't work. The trick is to keep making changes until you find what works best for you & drop the idea of sleeping like you did in your youth, that's over I'm afraid. You will learn to make adjustments & utilize your energy wisely. One of the main reasons women go on HRT is to help clear the brain fog! It did help but now that I'm off I'm having to make adjustments again. It's disconcerting but it is what it is, right? So ho's the new baby? Everything OK with him & his big brother?

SK, happy to hear you found your keys, yay!
I hope you find yourself a more dedicated dog walker for Peggy.
You'll have to go to your daughter's place on Wednesday with your bets bitch face on - that's my daughter's fav reference, LOL
You're there to spend quality time with Vivian so ignore the miserable one, right? Glad to hear you had a good day today

Hello to Star, thinking of you!

Not much else happening here so I'll just wish everyone a nice night!
I'll be ever so grateful to see the end of February & the 5.5" + of rain we've had & the mud, yuck.

Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Freedom February

Good morning...

Had a pretty good week, almost a month AF and that is what counts for me!

Pauly, so sorry you are not sleeping well. I use the meditation tapes almost nightly and they usually help, if not they put me in a relaxed state and take up some time in the middle of the night. I have to have no caffeine after my morning coffee, seriously, I am so sensitive to it, no chocolate or that will keep me up too. So I get where you are coming from, it is so hard to wake up, look at the time, and realize you have hours till wake-up time. I have known people who are addicted to and Ativan and have withdrawals from Trazodone, so be careful as you have shared you are so sensitive to meds. Me too, that is why I stay away from all caffeine, and religiously use the CDs, I have a variety of them. I still sleep poorly some nights. I had to do something different regarding sobriety, so I have done it, and we'll see if I can reach my goals of no more drinking. Right now focusing on each day and not being on my own. We tend to talk about our daily lives on this thread, and that is great, but not good regarding staying AF for me. We are all different. Thinking of you.

Lav, sounds like you are doing well, creativity for fun, grandkid interactions are going well. Here too.

Skendall, you are taking care of yourself and managing your life with integrity, your daughter's attitude is on her, she will regret being this way someday.

Cyn, I am anxious about my trip and not eating the way I should too. It can really throw off your system. I am going to eat healthy today, exercise and do my best to move forward. All any of us can do.

Have a good one.

[treegirl]

Re: Freedom February

Morning all!

Wow, banner day, so nice to hear from you both Pauly and Star! And we might be having some sun today, so I feel like it is a truly great day.

Pauly, the biggest hope I have for you is that you will love and approve and have faith in yourself ! And also that you have faith in yourself... that is an area that I am definitely working on. It is part of my daily affirmations meditations, and I'm really trying to 'activate' that neural pathway. I am realizing how much of my life is fear-based, not sure if I will 'be enough' 'do enough' etc. etc. The phrase "I have faith in myself" is a tough one for me, but I am keeping at it. I'm trying to move beyond fear! Wishing you all the best, and lots of self-love today.

Star, congrats on the AF time! So glad that you have found a pathway... for me, I am always ready to hear struggles, but I know that is best shared one to one sometimes. Please just know you are supported here every day. You are going on a trip? Think about some powdered supplements; I just received in the mail the product that I was counting on to get me though my trip, but it arrived late. Look at Amazing Grass - I have never found a powdered supp that I could tolerate, but this one works for me. They have lot of products and will send you samples. Good luck!

Lav, sun predicted here today - I hope that it gets to you also! Yes, who ever heard of a rainy dreary February, uuugh, climate change. I can hear that your daughter inherited your Lavanitude - love that phrase of hers!

SK, SO glad for a break for you, and a wonderful day. I like the sound of your spring! Great news on the dog sitter front, and a nice neighbor to boot. I hope it continues!

We actually took a break yesterday afternoon and went to see a movie - Peter Rabbit - go see it!! It is unbelievably clever, the writing is fantasticly sweet/satirical and hysterical. The animation is astounding. I don't know when I laughed so hard - I actually guffawed and gasped for air a couple of times. What a great feeling to laugh! Lav - you must see it; the portrayal of the rooster alone is worth the whole movie.

Wishing everyone some time for a light heart today -