W/c 19th august

[SKendall]

Re: W/c 19th august

Hey all.

Called in for RX refill heard nothing. These medical millenials can't relate.

Det, sounding great.

Lav, was totally creeped out when I saw the pic on f/b. That is one big snake! Do they eat the eggs? i know they aren't poisonous but they look dangerous.Glad yo're sleeping better.

Sam, I lived in Wa state and could see mt. rainier but didn't realize so much shale.

[Mick]

Re: W/c 19th august

hiya all ...fone still not sorted ,it cant pic kup the gps signal..he is getting another new part for it in the morning ,so apart from the camera etc its a new fone..if it doesnt happen tomorrow then it might be a new one required ...its a samsung note3 ,its got everythig for me ..so we shall see what happen
anyways how are we today then?hope all are doing good....
anyway here we go ..some jokies for yall..

I made a typing mistake when trying to upload a calendar app to my phone.



I ended up with a colander app

All it does is drain the battery


What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo

What kind of dinosaur always had difficulty sitting down ?
The Tyranno sore ass.

What do you call a cow with no leg

Ground beef.

Saturday 25th August 2018 - 02:08:24 All the Jokes Blondes Chuck Norris Crap Joke Central Favourites iPhone Groaners Joke of the Day Little Johnny Puns Sex Top 10 Snipers

Friendship, Men Vs Women


Friendship Among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. Not one of them knew anything about it.




Friendship Among Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.


A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you: that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."

The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate."

The preacher said, "No sh*t?"


The Doctors Attitude to Rudd’s Proposed Health Care Legislation

The Australian Medical Association has weighed in on the new Rudd healthcare proposals.


The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.


The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.


The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.


Ophthalmologists considered the idea short sighted.


Pathologists yelled; "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"


The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it.


Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."


The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.


The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.


In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to all the arseholes inCanberra.

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.


The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first"?

The girl says, "I'll go first". She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life". He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that"?

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there".

Things I Learned in the South..........

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jaw-P? means "Did yall go to the bathroom?"

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You dont PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

No, Jew? is a common response to the question, "Did you bring any beer? "

You measure distance in minutes.

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You know what a DAWG is.

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tonys, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.

You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin or off to Wally World.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather. ------OH! YEAH ! ! ! !

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

[SKendall]

Re: W/c 19th august

Hi all. remember when we had the f*&% thread? I need it! it was going fine until i had to deal with people! I've had an hp computer and i stopped using it b/c whener i hit enter the drop down menus came down. it's less than a year old so I trudged back to best buy temp 98. It wuldn't accept my p/w and none of the keys worked. he looked up my name and number and I didn't exist. He offered to reset the p/w for
$40.00, i told him you've got to be kidding. they make a lot of money off people who aren't techie.

Of course the dr's office are practicing their godly status. if i could type i would be typing a large report. i've never set eyes on hm since he shouted morphine,,morphine and dilaudid i thout they were going amputate for crying out loud.

I will insist on a face-to-face. Ispoke to surgeon step son and he thinks they are cruel. He also said many docs are facing burnout at his age and really don't care what happens. i will hunt him down. i've got raw blisters inside the cast and raw skin around the edges. i've been putting gauze into the edges, but now I need tape. none of these suggestions came from the office, btw.


Also i could throw this chromebook out of the window any minute of the day, tired of the scrolling issues.

Misty has taken to lying on my keyboard.

The yahoo engine has crept in enlarged screen and is crap. i've asked how to fix it, chromebook doesn't have control panel.

[Lavande]

Re: W/c 19th august

Good evening Abbers,

Mick, I think I would be happier with a new phone, ha ha! I am not an extremely patient person when machinery doesn't work right

Det, you sound good, that makes me happy!
When you get back to photography I'll gladly send you some huge black snakes ~ they seem to like having their picture taken in my chicken house, ugh.
I didn't see one today but I'm sure he'll be back!

Pauly, what is Kell going to study?

SK, you sure have had a rough day, sorry!
Tech issues drive me nuts, I just don't know enough of that stuff.
As far as nasty & uncaring doctors - they can & need to be replaced!!! They are useless & potentially dangerous when they get to that point.
Have you asked anyone about cutting a 'window' open in that cast? It would help relieve some of the pressure & skin rubbing. You don't want to develop a skin infection under the cast.

Grateful to be getting up with much less pain & stiffness in my lower back. Now I don't have to hobble around for 2 hours until things loosen up enough to move normally.

Hello tp PQ, Det & anyone popping in tonight.
Still watching the single Insanity Twin - she hasn't been bad at all, lol
Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: W/c 19th august

Morning all how are we today then?all good ..or goodish..going to see about phone in a little while and sort the van out ..we are detecting tomorrow...my turn to drive ..Im in the middle of downloading all my dvds to an external hard drive ,..up to number 247 now!!its a lovely morning here ,yho you can definitely see the seasons are changing ..

good morning Lav ...still got the snakes? tell the foxes they taste like chicken..yes as for techie stuff Im not the worlds best ...mechanical yes I like and understand that .but mumbo jumbo gadgetry I aint got a clue ..you know its funny how it takes over our lives ,Julie has an app on her phone about water intake ..She says to me this morning ..Ive just been told off for not keeping up with my water intake ..by a phone with an app???Id happily smash it ..and yet we use them instead of maps everything...Glad the back is ok ...youll be running marathons next!!brew time..

hiya sk ...lets set up a techie site me and you ..you dont need to no anything just be able to say yeh is fkd buy a new one ...and then we need to rope someone in who sells the kit and we skim a % See my 25 years in jail wasnt a waste of time!!!ha ha in uniform and not an arrowed one either ! you seem to be struggling a bit with that cast,can you get it sorted ?I hoe so ..hows you and misty doing?you take care

hiya ppqp,howare things with you then? all good ..when are you back in work?looking forward to it? not..I just want to get on with the next projects!have a nice weekend



A few years ago, while I was part of a drug study.

I suffered an accidental placebo overdose.

I nearly died from a severe lack of symptoms.


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for North Korea..

Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.

1. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.

3. If walking and/or cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.



...and you want me to exercsise????????????


It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life"?

The professor gently smiles at him and says: "Of course not - if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's"!

The taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here.

The first guy gave him money, second guy said thanks, but the third guy slapped him.

The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car hadn't move an inch. So what was that for, he asked.

Don't drive so bloody fast next time, you almost killed us.

Paddy had been waiting patiently for two hours in the the maternity hospital. Eventually he picked up the internal phone and called the doctor saying, "Hello, this is Paddy Murphy. What's the latest news on my wife"?

The doctor answered, "You're the father of a fine baby boy but hold on because it's not all over yet".

After about a half hour, Paddy called the doctor back and asked, "Hello, this is Paddy Murphy. What's the news on my wife"?

The doctor answered, "You're the father of twins, a boy and a girl but hold on because it's not all over yet".

After another half hour, Paddy called back and asked, "Hello, this is Paddy Murphy, what's the latest news"?

The doctor answered, "You're the father of triplets - two boys and a girl. It's not all over yet but it's slowing down, so why don't you go get something to eat; I'll be here all night".

So Paddy went to a pub and got himself six shots of good Irish whiskey which he washed down with six pints of Guinness. He then went over to the phone, somewhat unsteadily and called the doctor at the hospital - or thought he did.

Actually Paddy misdialed and got the local cricket club instead. Paddy asked, "Hello, this is Paddy Murphy, what's the news on my wife"?

The voice on the other end of the line replied, "All out for a hundred and one and the last one out was a duck".

[paulywogg]

Re: W/c 19th august

Mae everybody,Mick fingers crossed on the phone SK,that cast sounds awful,listen to Lav and ask if they can do something so you don't get infected,Lav,Kell's going to school to be an ultrasound tech,she wants to get the full degree which is 4 years I think,waves to Det,PQ,Sam and Pie wishes for a great bf Saturday!

[porqoui]

Re: W/c 19th august

MAE ALL...

SK...appears you and Misty are bonding right along. Yes, this has been the worst year for BC smoke and I fear it won't be the last. Same rules here as far as declaring someone incompetent. With my Dad it was his second fall landing him in hospital again that had the Dr. declare him. So keep up the work on balance, I think Yoga is supposed to be good for that. The medical system can be frustrating, you have to be your own advocate all the time. I miss the )&E)(#$& thread! It was a great place to vent and you didn't even have to explain yourself. LOL I remember the drop down menu issues you were having and googled that. Appears you weren't the only one and the solutions offered didn't work. What I find frustrating is when phoning in for support I have to explain to the tech that his solutions won't work. I now start with I've traced the ping all the way to this IP address and it dies there. He immediately says let me put you through to the next level of support. Even if that's not the problem I get to the somewhat "smarter" support every time. LOL

Mick...you and your phones. Where did you drop it anyways? Off Mt. Everest? Hope they can get it sorted today. 247...where are you downloading them from? Not your phone I hope. Can definitely feel the change of season here as well, it's currently 42F this morning. Reality sets in again on Monday but have to say I've really enjoyed my time away from work. It was nice to have someone there so that I could just walk away and say you deal with it. Will see what has accumulated on my desk and just deal with it one email at a time. Good luck detecting tomorrow if I don't catch you in the morning.

Lav...glad the new mattress is helping. You made me laugh about the (hot flashes). It reminded me of my brother asking his wife if they'ed every have flannel sheets in the winter again. Even with the rain yesterday I swear the smoke was the worst it's been. For a laugh some of the radio stations were setting up huge fans to blow the smoke back to BC. Some people have way too much time on their hands. LOL How long will you have the single insanity twin? Do you think his presence has helped ward off the wildlife?

Det...you're sounding positively great these days and it looks like you've got all your priorities right. Your memory foam reminded me of a FB post with a guy lying in his bed with all these thoughts going through his mind...remember when...you wet your bed, lost your homework, got grounded for...etc. and the comment was I guess I should of thought through buying a memory foam mattress. LOL I'm glad you've got an assortment of support groups you can attend. Don't go overboard with the gym just keep it simple.

Pauly...bummer about Kell's job prospect, it might be an omen that it's not the right path to take. Just been putzing around since getting back and today I have a baby shower to attend so still have to get out and get a gift. Hope you have a good day at work.

It appears the coffee cup is empty yet again so must rectify that. Have a Super Sober Saturday all....:smile:PPQP

[SKendall]

Re: W/c 19th august

pauly, the sonogram techs was listed asa safe job for yrs.

PPQ. funny aboutthe memory mattress.


Det, sounding wonderful.

Lav, I might have nightmares about the snake, ugh!

Went and got 2nd young cat. Misty needs company. Pet person said she was scared. She is locked in my bedroom and still hasn't moved. She is white siamese with pink ears and a brown tail. Now Misty has gotten used to me she snuggles and compared to Hernione she is is a terrorist!

Hiya mick, good jles

[SKendall]

Re: W/c 19th august

Lav, never though of a window. I have 3 plates and screwss and when it happened my thumb was in the middle of my hand. tired. Later.

[Lavande]

Re: W/c 19th august

Good evening Abbers,

We had another nice not too hot, sunny day! I know the heat is returning next week so I am enjoying this cool spell.

Mick, I stopped wearing my Fitbit because it was zapping me for not walking enough every hour. Some days you don't walk as much as you should, oh well, ha ha!!
I hope your phone gets straightened out soon!

Pauly, ultrasound techs are in high demand, that's great that Kell has chosen that field. I wish her the best!

PQ, The hot flashes started 23 years ago...…
It's been a very loooong time trying to deal with these stupid things. No one knows why I'm still dealing with them. I was pretty much forced to go off the HRT last November after being on way too long. It's been a rough year, to say the least
I hope the smoke moves on soon, not good to be breathing all that. Only 1 snake appearance this week, 0 foxes, yay. My house guest Maggie just went home this evening, son & family are home from vacation. I like having the larger dog around, I may have to borrow her again sometime soon.
Enjoy the baby shower & the rest of your weekend.

SK, congrats on your newest addition
I imagine the two will share the territory, at some point, ha ha!
Maybe you can get someone to address the cast issue soon? Better safe than sorry.

Hello to Det, Sam & anyone else mssing.
Have a nice night!

Lav