w/c Feb 17

[Pie]

Hi Gang!

Going to grab some coffee, and read back, but here's to moving forward.

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Mae everybody, Pie,thanks for the startup how's things in Pieland? Off for more coffee too have a great BF Sunday all,back later!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c Feb 17

MAE ALL...

Pi...great to see you and thanks for starting this week's thread. If you're thinking of brunch today I'll have to pass. Frozen solid here but turn around is in sight.

Pauly...morning to you. I'll follow the suggested leads and get coffee as well.

Will check back later to see who's up and about....:smile:PPQP

[Pie]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Morning, Pauly and PQ! Nothing frozen here, just raining, but I'm sitting outside with my laptop under new patio cover. Why didn't I get one sooner? Dogs are loving their ability to come outside for a potty break, and not get wet.

Det, did you say, "resident funeral agent"?

Mick, It's on my list to get an indoor hyacinth too. Their fragrance is heavenly!

Lav, who is it that says there are two words key to a long life: Don't fall! You've got me heading to Google for, "spinach grown in hoop houses."

SK, just opted for a mani/pedi myself. $30 bucks plus tip.

Things in Pieland are decidedly medium, and frankly, dull. Without an engaging project, there's no spark. I ordered a beer at lunch on Friday. No spark there either. Feels like I'm just waiting to pass on. Not in a morbid, or sad way, just seems factual. Goal for today: get a start on Dad's taxes. Exciting, right?

[SKendall]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Pie, good to see you. I knew the price was too high!

Mick, no wonder Uppermill sounds familiar, as a girl we lived in Upper Mossley. My aunt had a dairy farm nearby on Strawberry Lane. I used to see the buses to Dingle and Delph thinking they were exotic fairy towns, ( I was only 5 or 6) . What are they like? I'm getting nostalgic, I think I would like to revisit. No cheese and onion pies here unless you make them and I want to but my old friend pinched sciatic nerve is denying my ability to stand, We left for Canada when I was about 12 and my husband was transferred from Toronto to Dallas area in 1990.

Hi Pauly, PPQ, etc. Will have to have a read back and get another coffee.

[Mick]

Re: w/c Feb 17

afternoon all..how are we doing then? all good ..early finish fro me ...not a lot happening ...found a lovely Roman bronze coin in great nick but apart from that zilcho of the highest order.Just phoned my brother ..Im going to see him tomorrow ..he has to go back into hospital.Im sitting here with a cuppa soup ..my own kinda bodge soup it started as golden veg ,but some chilli mushrooms etc in it have altered it ..

hiya pie ..how are you then ? you dont sound too good ..Did you enjoy the beer that you ordered ? I guess nt else you would have had a load more .Yep you are right ...we are all waiting for endex but....every single one of us.its what you do with yourself until that time comes .Personally Ive no intention of just letting it swamp me and thats it ..thatt is ..whilst I have a say in it..to apply that thinking is like saying why wash Im going to get dirty again .OK we all get downers and half empty glass sagas ..I definitely do ,but its a case of finding something that will spark your enthusiasm ..and you were always good at projects ,so why dont you start one?
As for the hyacinths ..Ive got 6 dotted around the house ...The smell is fantastic .


Hiya ppqp ...yep its the kids next door playing football ..The dad manges the local youth and kids teams..and yes ,they did get the ball back ..unknifed !So youre are all froz up? as we speak ..Im doing my impression of lying on a Hawaiian beach soaking up the rays..ok so Im exaggerating ..sitting with a cup of soup looking at the sunny day ..with the heating on...

hiya pauly ..hows the cold?you feeling any better ?hope so ..a sink full of dishes? paper plates ..theres the answer..mind you Im that tight Id wash them!!

hi Lav how are you then?hope all is well .did yb get the wiring done before the wanderers return? well done for the new dawg on the sidewalk! here you go ..this coin is at least 800 years old ,probably nearer 9

IMG-20190216-WA0002.jpg

IMG-20190216-WA0004.jpg

hiya sk ..yep you would see them ..heres a drone cam taken roughly from where I live over to Diggle

Early morning drone flight over Diggle, Oldham - YouTube

one of Delph ..that pub is exactly 3.5 miles from me

Delph Saddleworth 30 min walk - YouTube

and heres the whit walks ....do you remember them? this is 2011 with the bands in Uppermill

And Ashton for you ...

Sunday in Ashton under Lyne Town Centre - YouTube

big hiya to everyone else

NEWS BREAKING HEALTH WARNING


If you should receive an email from the NHS Direct warning of catching swine flu from eating tinned pork.


Ignore it.


Its just spam

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside" she asked earnestly?

"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet", counselled the therapist.

So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.

When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit".

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside" she asked earnestly?

"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet", counselled the therapist.

So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.

When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit".

Idle Thoughts if a Retiree;s Mind

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.


....I had amnesia once -- or twice.


....I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?



...Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.



...All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.



..If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.



...What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?



...They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.



...Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.



...Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.



...One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.



...My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.



...I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.



...The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.



...If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?



...Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.



...Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Dave was attending his 4X4 club's monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the camping trip scheduled for the next day because his wife wouldn't let him go.

After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow 4X4 friends Dave left to go back home to his wife.

When Dave's friends started arriving to set up camp the next day, who should be there but Dave sitting up in front of his truck, tent up, fishing rod in hand, camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.

"How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Dave"?

"I didn't have to" was Dave's reply. "When I left the meeting I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'"!

When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see - through negligee and she said, "Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want".

"So here I am"!

An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.

The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse"!

The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like".

Tom in deep thoughts is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom"?

"Please don't ask".

"I'm your best friend. You can talk to me".

"My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant".

"That's not possible".

"No, he did".

"How"?

"He punctured my condoms"!

Gentle Thoughts for Today

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.





When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.


There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .


Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'


The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.


Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved..


When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf


Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

[Pie]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Nice drone cam video, Mick. Thanks for posting!

[Lavande]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Hi kids!

Yep, the electrical work is done ~ for now
The travelers return home late tomorrow night & will be shocked at the temperature change, haha! Seems they have had a great time.

Pie, sorry you are feeling down. I understand about needing a project, something to keep you busy, creative & looking forward. How about traveling? Do you like to visit unknown territory? I love to travel myself & haven't been doing much over the last 10 years or so. I love seeing new places, new architecture, hearing different languages, sigh.
Anyway, here's what I was talking about. Some of these Amish guys have hoop houses that are 200-300 feet long or more. They heat them with special propane stoves so they can grow veggies all winter long. Pretty cool idea
hoop_house.jpgHello to Pauly & PQ! I hope you females had a good day!

Mick, that coin is in remarkably good condition, wow!
I liked the drone footage too. My neighbor has a drone & we had to threaten to shoot the thing down if he didn't stop flying it over our house. It felt creepy to me, like he was watching everything we were doing outside.

Hello to Cyn, Det & Sam!
Det, I guess tomorrow is a big day for you? Wishing you the best!

OK, going to watch some stupid TV for a while.
Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Mae everybody, yep really cool Mick PQ,I made hamburger soup in the crock pot yesterday, it isn't as gross as it sounds cuz its basically just vegetable soup that happens to have ground beef in it,I wanted soup cuz it's been chilly and I'm tired of chicken noodle so I googled this one,Lav,that's really cool they have those to grow in,excited to hear more details in their trip,I'm sure your granddaughter will have lots to tell you Pie,hope you can find a project to keep you busy,I start them but don't finish Det,good luck to you today,off to start my day much love to all and wishes for a great BF Monday!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c Feb 17

MAE ALL....

Family Day Holiday is made for sleeping in and sleeping in I did! Just got a text from Mick who is stuck in traffic on the motorway returning from a visit with his brother. I'm sure he'll check in when he can. Off to make a brew and wake up, will be back later....:smile:PPQP

[Pie]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Thanks for that photo, Lav. Hoop houses make perfect sense to me now. Looks like lotsa basil growing in that one. Enjoy your holiday, PQ!

[Determinator]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Happy unhung Monday ABerooooos!

Pie, thanks for booting us up and hope things perk up there. sometimes we just need to evaluate things and even shake-ups aren't bad.
With all the shakeups I've been enduring that's what I've been telling myself anyway

Mick, yay for Roman treasure! that lovely coin is in amazingly good shape.

our new Refuge meet location is fantastic so we have at least 1 meet per day every day of the week now.

Lav, thank you for the kind wishes... yes things will stabilize here for me.... finally.... they just have to right? lol

Pie, oh yes, 'resident funeral agent' is correct. Not digging graves etc. I'll be educating clients on the benefits of prearranged cremation
services. It's actually a great service and something I'd never pondered before.

Ok, y'all ain't gonna believe this one:
yesterday at the gym after my workout I depart the shower/locker area and walk out to the coed section that has the pool/sauna/steam room and proceed to
just walk around a bit deciding what to do next. i notice folks are looking at me and some are smiling. I thought that was nice and smile back. Then I walk to the
far side to the drinking fountain and see myself in the mirror. I'm totally 'al fresco'. not kidding. I very calmly turn around and march all the way back through
the facility and into the locker rooms. holy crap! Hi my name is Det and I'm an exhibitionist. LOL so basically I've had a childhood nightmare of appearing naked
in public actually come to life... and it didn't kill me. I was actually pretty calm about it at least.

ok, since there's no topping that one...

a hem..

forgot that today is a silly holiday so i have message out to new workplace to see if we are still meeting today. In the meantime
it's breakfast time.

shouts to SK, PPQ, Sam? , my neighbor Pauly

be well loves

[Mick]

Re: w/c Feb 17

hiyaall...just got back..whata nightmare ...there was a smash on the motorway so they shut it completely...there was a bad fuel spill so they will have to resurface it again.Icame up through where I used to live when I first came out of the army ,hasnt changed a bit..think the bins have been emptied but apart from that,up past Manchester airport ,Stock[port ,Oldham and home...weary now...Nice to see brother .I took him a haggis ..he was well chuffed.

hiya Lav ...so you like foreign languages next time Ill speak to you in Jockanese!!hoop houses ?we call them polytunnels ..but they are great for growing stuff in ..In case you didnt notice I like travlin too..next week we are supposed to have temps at 18/20 degreez..already the hottest Feb for a long time .

hiya Pauly ..howsyou doing then?good I hope ...hamburger soup ..sounds like a good title .

hiya ppqp ..you ok ..ta for posting message .You had a good day orf?hope so ..

hiya sk pie sam etc ...hope you are all well..I feel really weary /..need to go have a shower to wake up!

I went the pet store and saw this interesting looking device...

"What's this ?" I asked the salesgirl.

"It's a water purifier for your dog's drinking water ... Only 50 quid."

"No, he won't be needing that," I replied, "I saw him eat a poop this morning."

Caster semenya south african 2 times olympic women's 800m champion, has had a history of tests to prove she is actually a woman.
Today she is appealing against the I.A.A.F ruling on the levels of testosterone allowed in competing female athletes.

Caster said "if this ruling prevents me from running in womens events, it will be a massive kick in the nuts".

PPQP.....

I just ordered my colleague a ‘hope you get better soon’ card.
She’s not ill. Just rubbish at her job.

My father's eyes filled with tears as he held my newborn son for the first time.

"He reminds me so much of you," I told him.

"Is it the eyes?" he smiled.

I said "no, it's because he sh,ts himself every 15 minutes."

The attendant blew his whistle and shouted, "Get that dog out the pool immediately!"

"And where does it say I can't bring my St Bernard swimming?" I gloated.

"On the sign sir!" pointing."'NO HEAVY PET IN'."

When I was younger I had ambitions to make a lot of money and become wealthy.

I was online and saw this advertisment to order this book that would show me directly how to make a lot of money and guide me on my path. The book cost 40 quid and I figured it was worth it, so I ordered it.

When the book arrived in the mail, I eagerly opened it up and began reading it, and it basically said to me, "Now go and do to someone else what I just did to you."

Ireland Declares War on France
Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy, Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."


Actual Call Centre Conversations
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?”
Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France). "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: ”I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: ”Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?"

[caysea]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Hi All
Det you had me laughing
Have to add a funny story along those lines.
I was playing mixed doubles ( man teamed with a women) at an indoor tennis facility in the winter. Being cold we all had our warm ups on an took them off when we starting to play. I had my back to my opponents and turned around to serve and saw the other male standing there in his tidy whites. We normally have a pair of tennis shorts under our warm ups but I guess he forgot to put them on. I walked up to the net and signaled to him to look down. with that he sees what we are looking at and runs to put back on his warm up pants. It had always been a fear of mine that would happen and to see him and his face has me always checking. A good laugh for all but no harm done. But I do think your story tops that.

Det you are sounding great and adding the face to face might just be th Key you need. Keep involved and connected helping others helps yourself. I volunteeredred for 2 years at th start of my recovery. It was at the boys and girls club teaching tennis ( knee gave out) it didn’t allow me time to get involved with al.

[SKendall]

Re: w/c Feb 17

Mick, thank you so much for taking the trouble to post the drone footage. I don't remember A.U.L., except for the time I
was with mom and someone staggered out of a pub fell down and cracked his head like an egg. Mom was asked to make a statement. or maybe it was Ashton. Are Ashton and A.U.L. connected now? I don't recognize it but mostly just visited my aunt and cousins.

Pauly, actually that soup sounds good and I have heard of cheeseburger soup.

Det, that job is significant, and years ago our financial adviser told us to do just that. It's a relief to do it. Watch BERNIE with Jack Black, it's related. You naughty boy. The story is hilarious.

Something the Kardashians might do.

Lav, I can't respond specifically because when I go back, it wants to kick me out. I hope you had a great weekend.

Remember I was complaining about drop down boxes or pop up boxes, after much googling it appears there's a malfunction in this computer.

Pie, a covered patio sounds ideal.

PPQ - I'm having buttered chicken with basmati rice from Trader Joe's but Made In Canada. It reminds me of the President's Choice frozen entrees, which I miss.

See ya later.


Mick, that sounds like a heck of a drive, glad your brother appreciated it. Hope he is doing well.