hi all ..the hottest day this year ..fell today ...and is it hot ..hope everyone is good .
hiya Lav..hows the campers?did they survive the night without the black mambas ,groundhogs and any other skeery critturs you have ..bought some strawberries this morning "wonky strawberries" they dont fit the shape or grade or something so they sell them cheaper now ..they used to sling them.
take care and have a great day .
hiya teegee ...glad you got a wee hike in well done ..Im out for a bimble tomorrow with Julie and then a longer one on Thursday with my mate ..We have organised this and most of next years holidays and booked places..but I want to go out to islands off the north of Jockland..so we shall see parts of them are nearer Norway than London you take care ...
hiya ppqp ..how are you then? hope all is well with you..any word on the little gits that did your gardens over?identify them ,send the parents the bill ..if they refuse then send in the bailiffs to seize goods..You had a good weekend?
hiya pauly you ok?
The best thing about the internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in. It’s one of the reasons I invented it
If there is going to be a sausage war with Germany then we need to be prepared for the wurst.
I phoned the Weak Bladder Helpline about my problem. It's 1p a minute.
I bought a new SatNav it's really good,,,
Yesterday I drove past a Zoo and it said Bear Left .....
Now that's clever !
Q: What go's peck peck Bang, peck peck Bang...?
A: A flock of chickens in a mine field!
Knock knock.
Who's there.
Doorbell repair man.
Girl to her boyfriend: Just one kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Aboard an El Al flight from Israel to America, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears"?
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either"!
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.
If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout and as she was on her way out of the store the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much ...I only bought 5 items.."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
"Where did you get such a great bike?" asked the first.
The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. "
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; Her clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you."
Lowell, Massachusetts, is an old New England Mill town. Many of the Mills have been declared National Historical Sites and are included in a Federal Park.
The problem was what to do with the other mills, and how to attract more tourists to the area.
One bright young marketer pointed out that Germans like to travel with their dogs, and this was difficult in the U.S. "Why not make the mills into canine hotels?" he suggested.
The plan was adopted on a trial basis, but not without some skepticism.
Several months later, the skeptics approached the young man to ask how the experiment was going.
"Just listen!" he said, ... "The Mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous... or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
hiya Lav..hows the campers?did they survive the night without the black mambas ,groundhogs and any other skeery critturs you have ..bought some strawberries this morning "wonky strawberries" they dont fit the shape or grade or something so they sell them cheaper now ..they used to sling them.
take care and have a great day .
hiya teegee ...glad you got a wee hike in well done ..Im out for a bimble tomorrow with Julie and then a longer one on Thursday with my mate ..We have organised this and most of next years holidays and booked places..but I want to go out to islands off the north of Jockland..so we shall see parts of them are nearer Norway than London you take care ...
hiya ppqp ..how are you then? hope all is well with you..any word on the little gits that did your gardens over?identify them ,send the parents the bill ..if they refuse then send in the bailiffs to seize goods..You had a good weekend?
hiya pauly you ok?
The best thing about the internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in. It’s one of the reasons I invented it
If there is going to be a sausage war with Germany then we need to be prepared for the wurst.
I phoned the Weak Bladder Helpline about my problem. It's 1p a minute.
I bought a new SatNav it's really good,,,
Yesterday I drove past a Zoo and it said Bear Left .....
Now that's clever !
Q: What go's peck peck Bang, peck peck Bang...?
A: A flock of chickens in a mine field!
Knock knock.
Who's there.
Doorbell repair man.
Girl to her boyfriend: Just one kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Aboard an El Al flight from Israel to America, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears"?
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either"!
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.
If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout and as she was on her way out of the store the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much ...I only bought 5 items.."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
"Where did you get such a great bike?" asked the first.
The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. "
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; Her clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you."
Lowell, Massachusetts, is an old New England Mill town. Many of the Mills have been declared National Historical Sites and are included in a Federal Park.
The problem was what to do with the other mills, and how to attract more tourists to the area.
One bright young marketer pointed out that Germans like to travel with their dogs, and this was difficult in the U.S. "Why not make the mills into canine hotels?" he suggested.
The plan was adopted on a trial basis, but not without some skepticism.
Several months later, the skeptics approached the young man to ask how the experiment was going.
"Just listen!" he said, ... "The Mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous... or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
. 
Comment