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Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

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    #46
    Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

    AKgirl- I know what you mean. We are the ones (us moms) getting everyone toghether, making everything peacful, trying to make everyone be happy and everything running smoothly..... motivating everyone for the day ahead......and when we don't feel like it, it's too bad...we have to do it!!! (That's what I have learned anyway)

    Getting- Your morning sounds alot like my mornings too....I've found that cold ceral is best in the morning....buybuy BABY?Search I have one of these and when I prepare the cereal the night before my 7 year old can help himself in the morning...saves a lot of fighting over breakfast. I know this is gonna sound easier then it is, but whatever you can do the night before to make the morning go smoother is worth it.

    Peri- You said you liked the teen years the best...I have a 17 year old son, would you please come and get him?:thanks:

    We can only do our best. And just like when/if we fall off the wagon we can't beat ourselves up about it, we have to be strong and go on. We are good mothers, we love our kids, and we have each other to lean on. :l

    I am greatful that this thread is here. It is full of advice and it's a good place to vent. :thanks:
    :teeter:JAMMS

    "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

    "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

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      #47
      Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

      Peri... on your way to NY to pick up Jamm's 17 yr old boy please stop for my 17 year old daughter...wait a minute, no boys, forget it, I will just lock her in a closet.

      I'm tired, can't wait for bed tonight, still have 2 soccer practices and church to get through. I don't think there is any such thing as super mom, if they claim to be, they lie.

      Happy mothering
      Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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        #48
        Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

        I think the hardest part of being a mom is the worrying. I could always help him when he was little, and I didn't worry as much because I was in control for the most part. Now as he enters his teens......OMG I am just filled with worry. He is an only child that has had a few diagnoses (Aspergers was one) and because of it he does not socialize very well. He is very lonely and doesn't relate to kids very well. I just feel so helpless sometimes.

        I can take hurt and pain........but not when it's in the eyes of my son.
        :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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          #49
          Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

          AK, it is not easy to pull back and let them find their way. It would be even harder with an aspy. Sounds like you have good communication with him. Supporting him and making sure you stay in each others lives is all you can do.
          Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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            #50
            Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

            and on your way thru Peri, there is my 13 (going on 30!!) year old daughter you can pick up!!
            "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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              #51
              Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

              ak- Someone once said told me that having children was like taking your heart out of your chest and letting run free in the world. Pretty true analogy, ..I think. I do not know what it feels like to have a child with aspy. but, my 17 yr old boy had A.D.D. when he was younger but did grow out of it....I don not know much about aspy. so I'm not sure what to say about it. I can understand the feeling of helplessness. It sucks! The worrying never ends....it only gets worse as they get older, my son will be driving in the summer...:wow:
              I can't even think about that right now... Anyway, your supporting your son and doing great. Your a great mom!

              On my way-my daughter is only 18mos. her dad is building her an underground city so she can never see a boy by the time she is 12.

              Keep up the good work my fellow mothers.....:goodjob:
              :teeter:JAMMS

              "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

              "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

              Comment


                #52
                Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                JAmms, hubs says the girls are grounded until they are 30yrs old

                I like the underground city idea
                Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

                Comment


                  #53
                  Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                  Hey Parents...
                  In case anyone was confused, I have a new user name. I'm still getting better ( I hope ) but I'm not calling myself that anymore.

                  Thanks for the support after my lousy day. I feel better today, and have a surge of determination to get our lives in better running order.

                  It must be very painful to have a son with Aspbergers, or ADD, or any other special problem. It's hard enough just trying to raise kids who face the ordinary, every day problems. I have a nine year old who's incredibly sensitive and sometimes overwhelmed by frustration. He gets Speech and Occupational therapy at school... My seven year old is a wild little handful - not diagnosed with ADD, and does fine in school, but needs an enormous amount of exercise and activity. The five year old is the "easiest", but he's a hitter....They're all challenging in their own ways. And yes, all boys...So do lock up your girls! (But not for a few years).

                  Totally different topic...I want to lose ten pounds. But I don't want to suffer, and I don't want to starve, and I want to stay on an even keel emotionally. Oh, and I don't really want to excercise much either, so this could be challenging Anyone have the magic diet plan?

                  Have a good day, moms. Sara
                  "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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                    #54
                    Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                    Hi Moms,

                    Aspergers syndrom is extremely frustrating. It is basically high functioning autism. So he appears completely normal and healthy. But inside he does not understand social cues and in the beginning, facial expressions. You know, all the little thing people do to let you know how they are feeling without talking. There is so much he just doesn't understand. if yo said something like "take the bull by the horns" he would think, why would I ever do that? Very literal thinking. He has excellent verbal skills but is so focused on his interest (animals and video games) he often speaks in depth on these and most just don't understand. I have got to find a way for him to make friends. He is so lost and lonely. Outcast kids are the ones who have the most trouble in their teens. They need so much to be accepted.

                    Thanks for listening. It helps just writing it down, and getting it out.
                    :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                      Hi Moms,
                      Akgirl, I used to teach in a program for autistic kids. That's when I first learned about Aspergers. I remember one adorable little boy named Sam...He was so cute and so smart, and so literal, just as you said. Does your son see other kids with similar social styles? Sometimes two people who are very focused on a particular interest can talk to (or at least in the presence of) each other, and find a kind of friendship. If he's in a school with "typical" kids, could he benefit from an after school program for kids with Aspergers, or similar social needs? (Sorry, I've been out of that area of the field for long enough, I don't know what the politically correct language is). Now I work with children with a whole range of issues, as a therapist. A teenage girl I saw found great comfort and friendship in a social skills group she was in...The program director there said it was for "quirky, smart, hard to diagnose kids". She left public school to go to a vocational school, based on agriculture. She was plenty smart, but found her niche with other kids who had felt like "outcasts" in the school system. It is so hard to be a teenager...But even one friend can make a huge difference. Maybe another kid who likes video games a lot? Or maybe a volunteer job at an animal shelter? Does he have a pet? Sometimes the physical contact with an animal can help bring out the more connected side of a child. Just a few thoughts...Take care, stay in touch. :l Sara
                      "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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                        #56
                        Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                        Heya gals, it ironic how we all have a link. I have an 8 yr old son who is profoundly autistic. Every day is an adventure.

                        AK, I have an 11 yr old who is typical. He has a friend who is aspy. They have a common link; video games and soccer. I would seek out a same age kiddo that has some common interests as your son. You may even find some one thru a local support group. My kids ( i have 6 ) are very understanding of peers who are on the spectrum. They make an effort to engage them and will protect/watch over them while in school. We live in a small community so they are aware of who's who.

                        There are a few nice kids out there.

                        As far as the diet. I've had great results with the south beach diet. Lost 13 pounds in 2 weeks. Not drinking is key for me. When I drink, I eat and I eat like shi*. When I don't drink, I run every day and stay very focused on eating a good diet.

                        Have a great day ladies!!
                        Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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                          #57
                          Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                          Thanks, on my way...I've thought about South Beach...I'd miss the half and half in my coffee, but that's a small sacrifice I guess! I have the book...I'll look it over today. Drinking makes me over-eat, too. If I'm having wine with my pasta I can eat 3 large helpings (low-carb pasta, but still... When I used to over-drink, and get hung over, I'd comfort myself with lots of salty, fatty foods...Yet another problem with drinking!

                          I'm off to get my hair cut and highlighted...Can't really afford it, but I've just got to, you know? Sara
                          "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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                            #58
                            Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                            P.S. On My Way....6 kids!!!! I feel like a wimp, complaining about 3!!! :nutso:
                            "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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                              #59
                              Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                              Sara....about the half and half. A girl has to draw the line somewhere. I still had half and half in my coffee. I still had my regular coffee. I could not give up all the other things and not have my joe. So, I lost 13 # in 2 weeks with half and half. Not sure if you would have the same results. I think I lost about 20 all totaled after 6 weeks. Of course I have gained it all back. I will start again after the holidays. I feel like a cow

                              nat
                              Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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                                #60
                                Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

                                Wow! 13 1bs, with half and half! Maybe I could do South Beach!

                                I am sure you are not a cow.

                                Sara
                                "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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