I'm new - with a question

[mnorgard]

Hi Kids,

I'm new to this site and this program. I am picking up my Topomax on the way home from work today. I've read the book and the CD's and the supps were shipped today (3-5 business days away).

I've been indoctrinated for a year now in the AA way of thinking so this concept is a new mental model for me and I'm loving it. I just finished the book "The Truth about Addiction and Recovery" and was astounded by how many other ways there are out there for dealing with addictions.

My question is this: I've been drinking out of control for about a year now. I live alone so I've done much of it alone. And almost every time after 2-3 glasses of wine (you know the feeling - the one that takes the "edge" off - the one where you're all relaxed and feeling good) I would think "this is the feeling I want" but then I would proceed to drink the rest of the bottle - and open another one.

When you're in the moderation program - do you still get that feeling? Do the meds prevent that? I'm pretty sure I drank to chase that feeling and am afraid that I won't be able to stop once I get it. Maybe abstinence is the route for me.

Any thoughts? Advice?

Marcia

[MKR]

I'm new - with a question

I'm new - with a question

Welcome Marcia,:w

I know that feeling exactly. What is it about that third drink? I love that just gone feeling but have pushed it also over the edge. Still I find the 1-2 drinks in an evening after I have been moderating for awhile seems to relax me. Yes, I have gone to three a couple times and found it hard to hold the line on that unless I started late in the evening and needed to go to bed!

This is such an individual stylized program you kind of need to try it and see what works best for you. I have not taken topa or compral but do take the supps, use the cds and do an exercise program however lame it may be on some days!

RJ, suggests starting the program at 30 days abstinence so you may find that after that, you have a much better idea whether you want to go to mods or whether you are best on the abs program.

I have never been in AA but I have heard from this board - they count the days and drinks differently - over in this neck of the woods, if you screw up, it is a learning experience and a great time to get back on track having learned another trigger point to your drinking.
I wish you the best!

:l Mary

[Bookish]

I'm new - with a question

Hello, Marcia and :w

I have never been able to do an Abs program due to being happily married to a drinker and family and friends who are drinkers. I was just waiting for Roberta to come out with MWO to start helping me "fix" my confused brain.
Doing an Abs program seems to be helpful for a lot of the folks here, you will need to choose for youself. Lots of choices to make here!

About your question, does 1 drink lead to 5 to get and keep the edge off? It does not have to, but I did have to make a couple of rules for myself to address that issue. I do not drink more then 2 drinks close together and I do not drink before breakfast on Sundays. I don't drink on an empty stomach period, but that does not usually happen to me much anyway.
Don't worry to much about the "rules" I did not start the program with them, they kind of formed all by themselves and they are pretty painless for me.

Glad to have you.

Laura

[tawnyfrog]

I'm new - with a question

Hi all,

If I may jump in here - I made personal "rules" for myself. Being retired and not in the public workforce, I have all day at my disposal so rule No 1 was "Absolutely no morning drinks". (To help with this, I pictured my non-drinking mother's shock-horror reaction if she saw me having a gin & tonic at 10.00am - a HUGE deterrent!) I gave myself an "official" starting time of 4pm and a limit of 3 drinks for the rest of the evening. This is working well. The 4pm brandy and coke is the much awaited reward; I then drink a straight coke - that actually "feels" like 2 drinks providing it's accompanied by the correct ritual of nice glass, ice etc. Gotta keep fooling that old brain!

I then repeat that, or if I'm having a partiularly nice dinner, I will switch to red wine. Again, the ritual is important - the wine glass is set at the dining table - no carrying it around while cooking! I was amazed to learn that you really CAN sit in a glass of red for an hour. If I work the plan correctly, I end up having an alcoholic drink at 4,5 & 6pm. Absolutely important for me is to brush my teeth around 7pm because with a clean mouth, just the thought of passing more wine across the old Colgate is too horrendous to contemplate. Then it's time to start thinking about bed at around 8 (as I tend to get up somewhere betwen 4 & 5am).

Maybe down the track I shall lose the 4pm tipple - at the moment I'm happy. With a less booze-addled brain I am finding myself addressing other issues - issues which I had previously put in the "too hard" basket.

Sorry to ramble.

Tawny

[Mary Anne]

I'm new - with a question

Welcome

:w Marcia

Like all the others said, WELCOME!!! I have been there(AA), done that, got the Tshirt(many of them as a matter of fact!) .....tried for YEARS and years to go that route and felt like nothing but a failure!! I live w/ a guy who likes his beer, I love him, all the AAers were telling me I may have to leave him some day, etc etc....

I think it works great, the topamax helps tremendously!! I used to be the type who would wake up Sat AM at 7 and sneak to the fridge and have 2 or 3 beers before the house would wake up! THEN, procede to start my day, go to the store, stop at a mini-mart for a few more....that was my day..passed out by 2 EVERY SAT, then Sun was usually about the same, talk about a waste!!!!!! Have not done that one time since starting this, the thought of a drink in the AM is disgusting!!

I usually have a few beers a night, sometimes more, but nothing like the old days, and no more "white chips" and crying and feeling like a failure in front of a room full of people, just loving support from all you wonderful guys here!!:h :l

Keep coming back, whichever road you choose,

Mary Anne

[Saint Jude]

I'm new - with a question

Been there done that! More times than I care to count! ....Judie

Re the beer in the Am ... and the white chips...

[InnerStrength]

I'm new - with a question

Yup

Yup, I have been there and done that too - white chips, beer in morning etc.
My rules, so far, and I am continuing to build on them - 1) NO more sneaking drinks - all drinks must be visible
2) Try to do something active after work so I dont have a drink until about 8pm or so most days on work days
3) No morning drinks.
Quite painless so far and it helps
Jenn

[agapanthus]

I'm new - with a question

I am new too (joined in Sept but still feel clueless). The rules I have been trying to set for myself, and I admit I have broken some, are:

No drinking before 5 or 6pm
No more than 2/day
Some AF days per week
(These first 3 are hardest for me - I have had a bad habit of drinking beer throughout the afternoon, thinking I was maintaining a mild buzz, not realizing how drunk I was getting...not cool)
These next two I've had more success with.
No wine by myself
No hard alcohol, except a very occasional margarita or martini - maybe twice a year

[agapanthus]

I'm new - with a question

Best of luck to you, morgard.

[keepwalking]

I'm new - with a question

I think the setting of rules is crucial to success! Have a look at the thread I started called NO matter what? a few of us are trying to adopt some rules that NO matter what we do not break!! Mine is no drinking tues/wed/thurs and never before 6 on the other days and half a bottle of wine two nights and no more than one on the other two. If i cant follow this for 3 months then i intend to give up for good as it will be quite clear that drink controls me not the other way round. That said i never get drunk or have hangovers and live a very healthy lifestyle in all other areas of my life i(including lots of walking) in which i practice self discipline without any problem! If i do manage it then i will increase the AF nights to0 4 for the next 3 months and so on. I do not want to give up completely as i do love quality wine with my meals at the weekend but if i cant do this then I will! I do not want to kid myself!!! I guess it no different to folk who cant resist cream cakes, crisps, chips etc but the problem is alchohol is a drug, chips arent! and they do not rot your liver! good luck and keep us posted on progress and what your plan is?

[Heliodore]

I'm new - with a question

Hello, I'm new too. I'm really encouraged to be here. I'm wandering about the site, reading threads, getting drawn in here, and there. I love the idea of re-writing the narrative: moderation not abstinence; No Matter What rules. I don't drink in the mornings but my thing is to drink alone. I always thought it was romantic but now I'm not so sure!