Monday, October 16

[dilayne]

Monday, October 16

Hi Brian..I kind of wanted to come back and clarify the thing about the success and the creativity..it's sort of a paradox..at least that is what I'm learning..partly with the help of an awesome therapist..he says that in order to create, there are two conditions that need to be met..one, you have to be in that present moment state (my words)..and two, you have to be totally who you are...for me to get to who I am (true self)..I have to be willing to go through all the feelings that I've suppressed (and leave the false self behind)..so every time I face an empty canvas..there is a part of me afraid of the unknown..that journey from here to there is uncharted territory..the only way to get rid of the distance is to go through the feelings...does that make sense...the part of being afraid of success...that is because being successful would throw out my whole identification with 'not' being successful..then what would be left? Crazy, I know...but this is one reason I chose MWO..because I hoped that I could manage my drinking without exerting that control mechanism I've used before..yes, I could stop drinking for long periods of time, but I also stopped feeling..I'm making progress, but I'm far from being 'there'...Good Luck to you!!!

[lushy]

Monday, October 16

Mike, what is your line of work? And if you tell me you are a baker I will die!!!

[Guest]

Monday, October 16

Hi everyone... better late than never!

I havent had the first chance to get on the computer today -- it was nuts. My husband hired a housecleaner about six weeks ago when I broke my wrist to come in and clean for me. My cast is now off, but it hurts like heck to bend it still. Anyway, the housecleaner called in sick, so I decided it would be good "physical therapy" for my wrist to do it myself. So I spent five hours on the house today and really got carried away. Even did the baseboards. But I will say that I LOVED having so much energy with staying on track with the mods and the supplements. I had not been taking my All One everday, and have now gotten religous about it, and it makes a huge difference for me. I just love that stuff (once I can get it down anyway).

It was crazy -- last night I didnt take the topa at all, and by 9 p.m. I had just poured *one* glass of wine and fell asleep before I finished it. I was in bed watching a movie, but just couldnt hold my eyes open . This SO reminds me of the days when I didnt drink. I didnt start until I was 24. I remember I used to wake up really early, stay really busy all day, exercise and then be exhausted by 8:30 p.m. and would go to bed with my kids. I have actually caught a glimpse of that life again. Oh to have it back! I am beginning to really see it is possible, and not too far away anymore. Even now, it is 8:45 and I am ready to go to sleep. I love it. I poured one glass of wine to take with me to sit at the computer and can hardly drink it. I feel like I am in somebody else's body! I really think for me getting up early, staying active and exercising, taking the supplements religiously is the key for me. The topa is an added boost, but I am finding it is not the main thing for me anymore because I stay at such a low dose and then dont take it every day.

Oh Dilayne -- where are you from? St. Mary's is only about 30 minutes from me... cant believe you were so close over the weekend!!

Becca -- am considering joining you in Durango... what are the dates? Ya know this Puerto Rico trip I just took? Well, hubby's company takes that trip every year and next year its in Hawaii. Just know I wont be missing that , but it will probably be sometime in early to mid-October. Send me the dates, okay? Oh.. and you Canada people, is Quebec near anyone? I am making a trip in a few months with my husband there for about five days... would be so cool to hook up with some of you!

Have a great evening..
Allie

[Allie]

Monday, October 16

Sorry... that was my post above... forgot to log in! LOL

[eustacia]

Monday, October 16

:nutso: Hi, all--

Let's see--the last time I posted anything of any note I was going to my breast surgeon to see if a lump was another tumor. It seems that I am in another "we'll watch it" situation because excavating the thing would destroy my breast. So I've been watching it. And drinking. Drinking REALLY BAD. I've consumed up to one bottle (I almost typed "gallon") of wine each day for the past ten days. If that were not enough, my girth has increased accordingly and most unbecomingly.

I've been picking fights with my husband. No one with any brains willingly steps into the ring a with former trial attorney. I am truly out to lunch!

My job is driving me nuts. I spent several days rescuing a colleague from a horrible situation not of his making, one that could have cost him his license. Then I dealt with Dad's complaints about his new home ("where are all of the beautiful women?"):durn: . Dad is over 100 but remains lucid and highly articulate, particularly when expressing his complaints. Then my wild sister decided to take a "vacation" in a part of the world that isn't hospitable to Americans and was nowhere to be found for a couple of weeks. She did something similar about a year ago. What is the word for sibling murder? Fratricide, or something like that? Let's see . . . what else? I guess this is minor, but I am also feeling so old . . . my nine-year-old went away on a four day class trip and came back spouting profanities whose meaning I can only try to infer.

UGH . . . so this is what a bender is like. I cannot remember ever drinking so heavily and consistently. How do I get off this carousel? ????????????

:heart: E

P.S. to Allie: Do you have an extra "foreign" body for me?

[Mary Anne]

Monday, October 16

AF and loving it!!

Well it is going on 10 and I am still AF!! YEAH!!!:H :H

Thanks to you guys!! Didn't even go to an AA meeting which was my game plan if I really felt weak....went to the gym and had a decent workout,then home WITHOUT stopping at the store (what a concept!!) Heard that somewhere before! Anyway, thanks gals and guys for being there, hope I sleep, but who cares there is always TV!!

Love ya,

Mary Anne:l

[lushy]

Monday, October 16

Mary Anne, 10 Days!!!!!!!!!!!???? Is that a record for you? I am so proud, like a mother peacock. E, I am sorry you are going through a rough patch. We have all been there and there is little that can be said because you know you need to work through it your own way. But I hope you know we are here, if for anything a good laugh and a place to vent. Hugs! Hey muffs, time to add to "the story".

[eustacia]

Monday, October 16

:good: Mary Anne--I'm WAY proud of you, too!

:heart: E