Friday, Oct 20th

[Allie]

Good morning muffin people!
I came on and couldnt believe there wasnt a thread already started for today! Probably will be by the time I post this. Had a great night last night again... I am loving this. I never thought I could enjoy life so much again on a CONSISTENT basis. I was used to having little stretches of doing really good, then blowing it bad to the point of hangover at least once a week. Also, I tend to do worse when my husband is travelling, which he has been all week, so I am amazed. I had two glasses of pinot grigio (sp?) last night and after chatting a bit with some of you in chat, I went and took nice long bubble bath while I finished the last glass of wine and when I crawled in bed at ten, I feel right to sleep. Woke up again super early and am anticipating the best weekend that I've had in a long time!

I dont have any grandiose ideas for a topic for today... so Jenneh? Got any ideas??

Have a great Friday everyone!!

Allie

[lushy]

Friday, Oct 20th

Good Morning Perky Allie and all of you lovely muffs and muffin man! I have had a pretty good week as well, Allie, and really proved to myself what I already know last night; that I need to stay busy. I was so busy outside the home doing things that a drink never crossed my mind but the minute I got home I wanted one. I stuck with 3 for the whole night and feel really good this mornign. Okay, not as perky as you because I would have liked to have slept more, but I feel good. I am learning to put off having a drink, which has been discussed around here a million times, and drinking a lot of water in between. Hope all of you have a wonderful weekend. I actually have the house to myself, which will be a real test for me as far as moderating goes, but I think I will crank the tunes, dance a lot and clean the house from top to bottom.

Jude, great picture of you and gran. Made me miss mine so much. You are so lucky to still have your family. So lucky.

Big hugs to all of you!!!

[Mary Anne]

Friday, Oct 20th

Happy Friday too!

I don't have anything profound to say either!

BUT, I actually feel great, kudos to you Allie for doing so well for so long, wish I could be there, but it has been a whopping 4 days AF, yep, did it w/ my hubby and his dad drinking beer right in front of me without even caring!!! What a miracle! It didn't really bother me too much, but I think I may have a few glasses of wine tonight....I just have that fear that I will not be able to get back to AF again like the past few weeks ???

Oh with all your help and support, I bet I wil do it! That is what we are here for and I am going to keep upping the topa, so eventually I will be able to just not give a sh*t about drinking(?) Does that ever happen?? I hope so.......

Oh, I just hate this problem!! I worry and worry that I will go overboard and not be able to stop!! I am soooo happy that I have done 4 AF days, maybe, who knows, I will go for it again tonight! I will try it, wait til tomorrow night for the wine, it is my son's 15th birthday party, so an appropriate occaision and cool (we are having a bon fire and everything!)

OK, I am babbling!! Don't usually do that, but enough for now, thanks for letting me do that!


bye for now , love all you muffins!!!

MA:h

[lushy]

Friday, Oct 20th

Mary Anne, YAYY!!!!!!! 4 days! That is awesome. I need to commit to some of those soon. And with people drinking in front of you? Talk about strengthening your non drinking muscle!!! Do well this weekend. You will be proud.

[Guest]

Friday, Oct 20th

You are NOT babbling Mary Anne (that's MY job), and congrats on 4 AF days!! Have fun at the bonfire!
Eustacia, you are worthy of every pebble that ever goes beneath your feet and every molecule of air you breathe, and don't ever forget it. I have loved getting to know you better and much prefer the spit-fire post of yesterday afternoon to the earlier quandry. I know what you mean, though, with feeling crappier about yourself with the drinking, but when you can see clearly, it is very powerful! Keep it up.
Allie, you know your husband and mine are creepily similar... thanks for the reminder to treat him nicely...Mike, you reminded me too. Just because we have had our rough patches and I have gripes every now and then (some deservedly so, some not), we are in this together. I've put him through some sh*t.

Well, we're here in San Fran! What a gorgeous city. We met a lovely couple, John and (I forget his ...er...companion's name...we're in SAN FRANSISCO) and they were more than happy to tell us all about the local bars, shops, restaurants, sights...so much to do! We went to an awesome French inspired Asian restauraunt last night. Had oysters, yes, some wine, ahi tuna, scallops, and a serrano ham/watercress/parm/asparagus flatbread pizza. Heaven!! 3 story tall wine wall. The place was gorgeous, and I behaved myself! Went to bed at 10pm Cali time which was 1am our time. I'm kind of screwed up because hubby and I were both awake by 4:30am! We've been sitting in the hotel lobby with our laptops ever since! I've switched to decaf cuz it's almost 8am now. I'm thinkin a nap will be in order this afternoon.

Think I shall go paint my jersey for race day now. To answer your question, Rach, I chose this race because it was one of the 5 or 6 offered with the Team in Training program. When deciding, I could go do the Chicago one, or Columbus Ohio... or a few others, or OOOOHHH LA LA : San Fransisco?? Heck yeah! sign me up for that one!! That's how I chose! Plus, the finishers (hopefully me!) get not a medal, but a Tiffany & co. necklaces with the miles completed engraved, and the Nike swoosh, or something like that. There are actually butlers with silver platters and those turquose Tiffany boxes standing at the finishers line!! Cool huh? There's a Ghiradelli chocolate mile too... I think mile 11 or so. Yummy! Something to look forward to. My sister in law sent me the link for the Durango thing that ALLIE IS DEFINITELY PARTICIPATING IN. You should too!! Run/walk the half! It's only 13.1 miles...
Oh, and I run most of it. My goal is to walk thru the water stations which are every 2 miles. So that will be every 18-19 minutes or so, I'll probably walk for no longer than 2 minutes. I time it. Walk longer and it's hard to get my a** moving again!

That's that!
Have a great friday everyone.
Jen, hang in there with the Friday boogie monster. (who wants to boogie.... ). Is your plan to stay AF? Then DO it! You can. LOVE the Will Ferrell avatar!! Hubby thinks that's hilarious (I showed him). I'm standing in the background cheering for ya!

BTW, lost my cell phone on the shuttle on the way from the airport and had a minor meltdown yesterday. Some good samaritan guy heard 2 kids talking about trying to sell it on EBay and took it away from them! Called "home" from my cell phone, got my M-I-L who called hubby... anyhow, we've located my cell phone.
Good Lord. So if I'm not answering my phone... that's why:H

LOVE!

[jerrybear]

Friday, Oct 20th

Ok, I've posted about eight of these now, and checked into a rehab resort in Florida, but I would rather save the cost. $$$$$$$ If that's what its gonna take to bring me back to the good person and mother that I was, then I dont care. I know Im angry, as does everyone else on this site by now. You're all so damn happy I wonder if you even have a problem! Sorry---being drunk for 2 years doesn't exactly make my life roses, even for two days. I'm tired of the games... I want someone to talk real to me about this disease. Not about the specifics, I'm a medical professional for christs sake, just about what it does to you personally, what it does to our kids more importantly. How Im going to get through the DT's........Anybody familiar with those, or just the mall? Sorry........I've just been trying to find some help that I can deal with at home, stay with my kids, but all anyone wants to discuss is their social life. email me personally if you have anything encouraging or usefull to say. sorry for being a bitch, im just at that point.

jerry_bear8@yahoo.com

[lushy]

Friday, Oct 20th

Wow Jerry, gotta admit that was a little harsh. I am certain I could beat you in the who is angrier department because I am the Queen of Angry, but coming here has made me less so. If you have looked around here at all you will see we are not all sunshine and roses so please do not judge us like that. We all struggle and are still struggling, but through that struggle we have come to make really nice friends on here and we are truly interested in what is going on in the lives of others. If this program is something you are interested in, then perhaps you should start out on the General Discussion board before deciding which path you are going to take, abstaining or moderating. Otherwise a more nicely worded post would be appreciated. It sounds like you are in a bad place and there is a lot to learn from this place so I hope you find what you are looking for.

Now, getting back to the socializing. Becca, your dinner last night sounds AWESOME. I would give anything to have somebody bring that to me right now. Good luck on the race tomorrow. I have always wanted to go to Colorado. Something to think about. I could never run it, but could consider walking, or better yet be lazy and sit on the sidelines on cheer you guys on. Enjoy SF. It is a great place.

[dilayne]

Friday, Oct 20th

Hey jerrybear..hang in there..I'm thinking about what I can say..I've not had any experience with DT's personally, but know what alcohol can do to one personally and to the kids..having been around an alcoholic father.

Forgive the light chatter...don't be fooled by it..we all have our depths and there is a real need to balance the light with the dark..we do a little bit of both here.

Thanks for reaching out..go ahead and feel that anger..you'll probably be feeling more of it..we can handle it..remember, you've been drinking to avoid feeling it..so that is one thing you can expect.

I've got a huge deadline to tackle in the next hour or two..but will be back..

can anyone else address jerrybear's questions?
Namaste!
di

[InnerStrength]

Friday, Oct 20th

Jerrybear
I also have not been through the DTs you speak of. Ill tell you this though - even though we are all good friends, this isnt all fun and games by any means. we all know the pain and anger you are talking about. It goes hand and hand with what we are struggling with.

How much are you drinking? You have dealt with detox before? You are a nurse yes? I am concerned about you doing it youself this weekend...even though I know you are a medical professional.
You say yourself you have seen people not make it through detox and this is in hospital.
Guys, I will address everyone else - but I am concerned about this person.
Does ANYONE have any personal experience with detox/DT's? I am posting this inquiry on the general board too.
Jen

[dilayne]

Friday, Oct 20th

Thanks Jen!
I did want to report 3 days AF..and congratulate MaryAnn on 4 days! Woo Hoo!!! Becca, how exciting! Good luck girl! You are inspiring me on a daily basis..I want your energy! I want MY energy back! Hey Lucious and everyone to come later...

I'm on my own this weekend. My husband has gone to LA to help with the Katrina recovery with his 'Men's Team'. I'm in good shape..getting closer to a commitment to Abs...if I do that, can I still hang around here??? Funny thing about that is I look at my wine glasses in the cabinet and think, "ouuu, you mean I have to get rid of my wine glasses? whiiiiiiinee"...how sick is that? I mean after all the energy and pain and grief that the A gives me...And the other night my husband asked me the question, "What's the big deal about drinking anyway"..of course..I didn't even answer the question he asked..I answered a completely different question...what is the big deal about it? Why hang on to it if it's such a pain is the ass?

OK, I REALLY do have a deadline...I have to do a brochure...in Chinese!!! It's a first..I've done one in spanish but not in Chinese..kind of fun.
Oh, and I've sold two paintings! OK, my aunt bought one and my mom bought one..does that count? :0) I'm mailing out postcards next week..if you want one, email me your address and I'll stick it in the mail!

ta, ta

[iia67]

Friday, Oct 20th

Becca...I did Rome, Italy

Becca,

I raised $$ for the Diabetes Association. I can't remember how much cash it took. I think is was about $4,700. I chose Rome, Italy to run my marathon. Its was awsome !!. I can still close my eyes and smell the food. The wine tweren't bad either. I remember running through the beautiful city and when I turned a corner...BAM...I saw the Trevi Fountain.. Its huge...It totally blew me away. The 26.2 miler ended at the Colosseum. The architecture is soo awsome...and old. We amercians think something is old at 200 years....Over in Europe 2000 years old means something.

Anyway...I hated raising the $$...asking friends and family for a donation. It was funny to me that the peope who have the most...gave the least. The folks that just get buy tended to give more than they should. It made me feel kind of guilty...but it went to a good cause..right !!

Good luck to you..it sounds like you are totally psyched !! Bitchin man !! Run for your family...Run for us drunks...Run for those who care...but mostly don't forget to run for yourself !!

Brian

[InnerStrength]

Friday, Oct 20th

Holy - wow mods - everyone is doing great with the AF days and the moderating!!!! We are so great!!!!!!!!
So, what should today's topic be??? Hmmmmmm.
Well, let's see....
Let me think for a few mins.
Happy Friday all
Love Jen

[gypsi]

Friday, Oct 20th

Mornin' all you beautiful, wonderful, awesome people :heart:

I was reading my Chicken Soup for today, and it seems to fall in line with a lot of what we were discussing yesterday -

The fragility or strength of the motivating force behind your will determines the success of dreams and the distance they travel. As we live our lives we run into successes or failures; our choosing makes the difference in the two.
Ideas originate in the hallowed hallways of the mind, from feelings and beliefs, and are spurred on into the heart where they meet up with will and determination, or die from apprenhension. It is when the soul grabs hold of dreams and refuses to release them until they see fruition, that a person truly knows the joy that imaginings can bring.
-Betty King

Pretty powerful stuff, I think. Reminds us that whether or not our dreams come true are entirely up to our selves. Of course, reading this week's posts on our mods board, I think that quite a few of us already 'get it.' Becca, you go girl Dilayne, three days AF? Awesome!!!! As are the rest of you; you all are such an inspiration to me. By the way, did you know that all of you were with me last night when I went to play on my steel-tip dart team? Yep, I had my own set of cheerleaders, egging me on to not overdrink last night. Only had four beers -
And now it's the weekend. I think I'm ok with not drinking this weekend; don't know yet. Hubby and I were supposed to have a runaway weekend and go down to Kenai, but I ended up at the doc's yesterday for pain. I'm having an unltrasound done on Monday as they think I may have had an ovarian cyst that burst. Since it takes over twelve hours to get where we were gonna go and I can't sit that long, the trips out
So that's my ramble for the day. Sorry if it was long. I hope that all of you have an astounding day -

[Quiescent]

Friday, Oct 20th

jerrybear wrote: Ok, I've posted about eight of these now, and checked into a rehab resort in Florida, but I would rather save the cost. $$$$$$$ If that's what its gonna take to bring me back to the good person and mother that I was, then I dont care. I know Im angry, as does everyone else on this site by now. You're all so damn happy I wonder if you even have a problem! Sorry---being drunk for 2 years doesn't exactly make my life roses, even for two days. I'm tired of the games... I want someone to talk real to me about this disease. Not about the specifics, I'm a medical professional for christs sake, just about what it does to you personally, what it does to our kids more importantly. How Im going to get through the DT's........Anybody familiar with those, or just the mall? Sorry........I've just been trying to find some help that I can deal with at home, stay with my kids, but all anyone wants to discuss is their social life. email me personally if you have anything encouraging or usefull to say. sorry for being a bitch, im just at that point.

jerry_bear8@yahoo.com

Jerrybear,

Sounds like roses and sunshine doesn't it? We're all a bunch of alcoholics when it comes right down to it.

I'm taking 250mgs of a drug called topamax that causes me to grasp for the right words, misspell, become a bitch to my faimily and have to deal with reality instead of hide behind the haze of a buzz.

When I need to reach out to people here they surround me with positive support and a good ass whoopin if I need it.

Stick around you will see it's not all roses and sunshine.....you will get the support you need, to deal with your problem, if that's what you came here for.

:welcome:

[jerrybear]

Friday, Oct 20th

To everyone, I'm so very sorry. this is not me. im just so very scared. lush, I didn't mean to offend you at all, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to find someway to do this and not embarass myself in front of the community (and, no, I'm not a prep). If I survive the weekend, I'll have enough energy to tell you who I really am.