Monday November 6

[Waves 2]

Monday November 6

:H Yes . Last time I wanted to join chat I remember it was the middle of the night and I hadn't been able to sleep.:H oh well. next time I can't sleep I know what to do!! Have to go pick up hubby from work now. Thanks for taking TIME to answer.:H

Love Waves.x

[dilayne]

Monday November 6

Lush, I'm laughing reading your post about your husband..mine is the same way. Even when we were talking ot my therapist, he says, " I don't care if she drinks or not"...this is after I don't know how many times I would wake up feeling like crap and how many times I would go on and on how we REALLY need to moderate...of course he can sick there with a fish bowl glass of wine and eat chips and a cup of cream cheese...not thinking for a minute that maybe a CUP of cream cheese is a little bit excessive! Thank goodness he did stop when I needed to...It would be much harder if I didn't have his support and willingness to do this together.

[dilayne]

Monday November 6

MKR Mary...just read your post more thouroughly...BIG Hugs!!! My husband was like that for a year and a half while I was trying to moderate...it really wasn't until we had that 3rd party (our therapist) help us with the conversation...what my husband heard him say that he wasn't hearing me say is that he was different than me and that stopping after 2 or 3 glasses was a far different thing than for him..But what he really heard was that for someone with a drinking problem, it is extremely difficult to manage it when the other partner is still drinking...something about my husband hearning that from someone other than me helped him see that he was in fact making something very difficult to do virtually impossible...the whole converstation started when i asked them both what right did I have to ask my husband for support in this...my therapist told us that I had every right...how could he not resist that? Once he stopped hearing me try to control him...that is how he hear's me..he's so afraid that I'm trying to tell him what to do that he won't even think about it (such a little boy sometimes)...I don't know if any of this helps, I just wanted to share that we did go through at least a year and a half of my trying to moderate and figuring out the relationship part of it and how to deal with it. BTW...sorry to hear about the In Laws...thank goodness ours live hundreds of miles away...suits us fine, God love em'!!!

[iia67]

Monday November 6

Well I blew it this weekend ! Drnk mor than I wanted to Friday night...because of course it was Friday night. Saturday went to a hayride/bonfire. It happened to be my friends 40 B-day party. It was a surprise, including to all the guests (which was a little weird) I had a ball, but went way overboard. The kids had fun...even my wife had fun. I had to have a couple drinks Sunday just to help me cope with the kiddos climbing all over me. But...its a new week and I really want to try and do 7 days in a row AF and I have decided to cut out fried foods...I do this from time to time, but its been a couple years. Becca talked me into this run in May and I need to get my sorry a$$ back in shape.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Brian

[Guest]

Monday November 6

Hey Waves, I made an appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon for Friday. He's hubby's rugby team's doc and I hear he's HOT:H (like this has anything to do with my leg...). Anyhow, it could be a shin spling. I do the majority of my running on a trail though--pressed gravel and softer surface, so I don't get it. Not like I'm a freakin speed demon. We shall see.

I'll contribute to the hubby topic. We're finally not clashing with the drinking anymore. He was the one (for those of you who don't know) who insisted I get help with the drinking, or get the He** out. yeah. It was REALLY bad at the beginning. He was so sick of me getting so drunk and missing out on the end of every social outing, embarassing myself and/or him, him calling from out of town and having to say "exactly HOW MUCH have you had to drink??" because he could tell I was hammered and alone with the kids. Now, he still likes to drink and will encourage me to do so every now and then , but since I have cut out all that above crap, things are so much better. He used to watch me like a hawk and it drove me NUTS. Like you said, Lush, I would think "OH, you're gonna watch me? Police me?? WATCH THIS..." I was brutal.
Goes back to the whole " You have to do this FOR YOURSELF" thing. Sure there are important issues (most importantly for me, the boys), but to do it for someone who's pushing you? Forget it. I had to dig deeper to understand that even though he was pushing, I had to seek out how this was affecting me and my life and my children, my health, my marriage. And then I had to find a WAY to fix things. Wow. Back to the beginning!
Tumadre, I hope you are feeling better. Can you get away for a bit? Maybe telling a close girlfriend or two who aren't in your every day life might help. Like someone a little more out of the loop who can just support YOU.

Will anyone be chatting tonight? This wk? Hubby planning to be gone many nights this wk.

[Guest]

Monday November 6

Brian,
Sorry to hear about the wild weekend (maybe not sorry... but ... you know). Glad everyone had fun though. No fried foods, huh? That's smart. I gained a pound at that wedding!! hee hee.
Good luck on the 7 AF days. That is ambitious! nice job.

[MKR]

Monday November 6

Becca, I was afraid they may be shin splints. Lance Armstong was in the NY City marathon this weekend, said he has developed shin splints. Good Grief what kind of shape do you really have to be in?!!!

Brian, sorry that happened, you know today is a new day! Good for you thinking about the AF days.

For all who responded on the husband thing thanks! Mine has always been and probably always will be quite a party guy. He had no intention of quitting or cutting back and truly ladies had NO IDEA how much I drank with the hiding going on and my own money buying it, never saw any of it. I never expected him to quit or really slow down but once he saw the tapes, I told him what I was up to. That is when he went out and bought all that rum, which was my favorite not his. He drinks tons of beer which doesn't bother me as Patti mentioned one time, I can really ruin even a light beer with ice and limes. Long story cut a bit shorter -

You guys know how hard it is to manage this whole thing and how well I have done, I was getting sick of saying, I am allowed a drink when I want it. He doesn't ever make me want to drink more, I just didn't at first to prove I could to myself but promised myself I would not be really righteous about it around him. I was and it sort of paid off in him leaving me alone about drinking the occasional drink after I threw the ABS gaunlet down.

Hugs and Love
Mary

[tinkerbell]

Monday November 6

Thanks to everyone who wished me luck, I think the interview went OK, well - apart from the surprise maths test at the end! UGH!

please send me good thoughts guys and girls.

Managed an evening meal with my girlfriend without any wine, and she smoked a joint and I didn't have any. Well done me. A few hours later she drove me home as I have an early start tomorrow, I need to sign on for state benefits in case this job doesn't materialise. I know it sounds snobby but I never thought I'd be claiming benefits. I've always been self sufficient, since leaving home 10 years ago accepting help is hard for me. Perhaps thats why the escapism of alcohol appeals so much....

Well, day 4 completed. I know I'll be drinking tomorrow as I'm out with the girls and they are buying the drinks. I'm going to try and stick to 4 glasses of wine. It sounds like so little to me but its not is it?

xxx

[Quiescent]

Monday November 6

How do you avoid shin splints?

You can do it tinkerbell!:l

[lushy]

Monday November 6

Tinkerbell I agree four does not sound like a lot but the medical community would say it is. Hope you got your job. A math test??!!! Geez, I would have been escorted out the door after finishing that. Math is not a strong subject for me. Okay, ladies, I made a confession over at Once Upon A Time. I think it is time to resurrect the story again. It has been a while..................

[eustacia]

Monday November 6

Hi Muffs!

SM-Mary--I'm so glad to read that your husband is on the mend. Be gentle with yourself. You've just been through h@ll.

Gypsi--You're not posting and I'm really worried about you. Post or PM me, ok?:l

Allie--I know about the depression. I wish I could offer more than soothing words but take good care of yourself. Your husband sounds like a sweetie.

I'm not doing too well. I'm very, very depressed. I'll climb out from under this rock but in the meantime, getting out of bed is a struggle. Hence, my limited goals for the month of November:

Remember to take my supplements.

AF for 7 days (ANY 7 days!!!)

Moderate the other days.

Exercise at least three hours each week.

Care enough about myself that I take the time to wash my face before hitting the sack--this dirty admission will probably increase my e-w-w-w factor. Sorry.

Learn how to attach a photo to an email.


GO, ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL RUNNERS!

:heart: E

[lushy]

Monday November 6

E, We have been missing you. If it makes you feel better then we are twins in the Ewwww factor as I rarely get my face washed at night and not just from drinking; because I get tired and lazy.......

I am sorry you are so depressed. That feeling is like no other and is hard for people to truly understand unless you have been there. If there is anything I can do please feel free to PM. I would think reading my confession on Once Upon A Time would be enough to lift your spirits!!! Please keep coming around here. Sometimes this place is the only thing to provide sanity in my days.

Gypsi, you are in my thoughts often as well. Hope you are okay.

[lushy]

Monday November 6

Rachele, are we buddies enough that I can tell you your new avatar, while very artistic, scares the shit out of me every time I see it?? Eye balls make me scared. Please reconsider!

[Quiescent]

Monday November 6

I don't want to give the Mollster nightmares:H Sweet dreams.........

[lushy]

Monday November 6

LOL my friend. Very nice.......Thank you.