Monday 11th December

[InnerStrength]

Monday 11th December

Good afternoon, all
I think what many of us seem to be going through is really common this type of year. We have to consider that this is the month of "festivities" and preparations, and famly - and often, what goes along with that - drinking. Its bound to be tough for people who like to drink, so i dont think any of us should be down on ourselves for feeling that slippery slope right now. I mean, of course we can feel/see the slippery slope - at this time of year, its right in front of us, shiny and slick and inviting in many ways. Remember, we are dealing with a powerful thing here and there are many emotions/habits tied into the holiday season in particular. Some people i work with - who as far as I know, dont even really drink otherwise - have been groaning to me about all the "holiday parties" and all the drinking they have been doing. Now, I am not saying use this as an excuse to be sloshed - but we have to recognize that we are HUMAN and that this time of year is HARD. So lets prepare for it, not beat ourselves up. We all know what that can lead to...
Anwyays all - Luschy, thanks for thinking of me, my darling. I went shopping on Friday and - bam - got all my Christmas shopping done! Hooray. Now I dont have to go to those awful malls with tons of people until the new year (hopefully).
Gypsi- thinking of you
All - i love each of you, - i have to go catch up on the rest of the boards! PHEW!
Love jen

[Mary Anne]

Monday 11th December

good afternoon

WOW, you guys(gals) always have such powerful things to write about, feel like I definitely don't belong here w/ my whining and complaining about not doing well, etc etc.............:upset:

I may have to go abs (?) Don't think I am moderating too well, and I am on 100mg of topa! Not good, but I will definitely wait til after the holidays, unless it kills me!

Just feel like I will never make it right now!! Can't even get one AF day in!!! Sorta don't want to, if anyone can relate (?)

Enough of my whining, Gyspi you arer still in my prayers, couldn't even imaging going through what you are!

Love to all you wonderful women, and men:h :l

[InnerStrength]

Monday 11th December

Hey Mary Anne
Just so you know, when i was on 100mg of topa, I might as well have not been on anything (I thought it was helping at the time - i was trying to convince myself) but it wasent until i hit 200mg that I felt the switch go off. Just so you know.
Hugs to you
JEnneh

[dilayne]

Monday 11th December

Mary Ann, I agree with Jenneh, I could really tell the topamax was working when I got to about 150mg..of course, i did go almost the 30 days AF while I was first titrating up, so I don't know if that made a difference or not..also when I was taking the Topa, I took someone's advice to take it a little later in the day, which did help when I needed it the most, when i got home from work. I totally get the not wanting to..I'm dealing with same thing with food right now...I haven't gotte on a scale in over a month and my muffin is growing, I'm afraid..i say I would like to drop a few pounds, but really...I DON'T EVEN CARE right now! So, I'm not sweating it until I can actually care! I do miss the appetitie suppresant with the topa..have even considered going back on it just for that for a little while but someone said that the benefits are a one time shot...anyone have any experience with that?
d

[Mary Anne]

Monday 11th December

thanks guys!

So maybe I will start upping to 200, I need something to help, cuz nothing is now, not the supps, not the topa....................But thanks for the advice, will take 125 today and titrate up to 200, see I thought 100 was the miracle #, but was getting frustrated cuz I am now drinking more than I was back in May when I joined!!

The holidays don't help either!! ?????? should be festive, but I find myself slipping into depression with so much to do, it being dark when I get out of this place, depressing to me!!!!! Well, gotta get back to work,

Love to you , hugs too!!:h

[dilayne]

Monday 11th December

Mray Anne..you are doing well..I've had to make a real commitment to keep things simple during the holidays and to pace myself so that I don't get overwhelmed..make some time for yourself if you can..I bet you notice a difference with the 125...it always amazed me how just 25mg can make such a difference!

d

[MKR]

Monday 11th December

Manifesting Reminders for Masters

Reminder #1 - When dreaming, know that anything can happen. In that magical state, the only price to be paid is with imagination. Having "it all" costs the same as having nothing at all.

Reminder #2 - You're now dreaming.

Dreaming of you,
****The Universe

-----------------------------

Gypsi, thanks for touching base. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Know we are all so sorry this has happened and here for you to talk with.

Rachele, I mean Martha Rach, wonderful candles and lovely soaps. Yes, we can get your web store up and running in no time!

Judie, sorry you are still feeling rotten. Harder to stay on mods when you feel like cr** and you want to feel no pain and sleep.

Waves and E I do hear you!! LOUD and clear. I was doing what Ivygoodluck decided was best for her, don't buy it, you don't drink it. Like Allie with her wine, our liquor cabinet has been filled with some nice spirits since Thanksgiving - It calls, it even yells to me. It has been much tougher on my mods to have all those lovely choices around. We can have all the cases of beer or wine in the house and that just never bothers me, bring in the heavies and I hear a battle in my head . . . after all these months!

MM and any worrying about the empty nest syndrome. Thought I would die two weeks before the youngest was scheduled to move out and both hubby and son, wide smiles and dancing around the house with their can't wait for freedom songs ringing in my ears. In a couple months, I found it was really rather relaxing as we use to have tons of kids in the house, driveway full of cars and who is that one in the corner over there kind of thing. Now it was just 2 for dinner not an army to cook for this evening or does you mom know you are here? Just didn't have to be that responsible for any of that any more. It is a time for reflection and remembering why you two got together in the first place. I love it and loved it much sooner than I expected.

Hawk, MM, Beth, Dilayne, PP, Jen, Laura, Soccermom MM. Mike and Allie, and some I am forgetting, you have interesting insights and a deep understanding of the slippery slope. I appreciate all of you so very much, thanks for sharing.

Dove did I say welcome? Nice to have you here!

We had a wonderful anniversary, closed out the whole world for a day, no phones, no answering the door, no anybody . . . just the two of us. Went to our favorite restaurant for dinner. It was romantic and touchingly sweet day all the way around.

Lushy your majesty, sloooooowly but surely I am crossing some items off the "to do," and "to buy" lists. Still not caught up to a bunch of you. Yeah kids cost a lot more as they get older, fact of life. Gone is the time I could get away with a big red ball and tommy tippee cup . . . stuff I gave them their first Christmas . . . pretty cheap huh? They didn't know any better, they loved the wrapping paper as much as anything else.

Gotta run have a client from hell's project today,
Mary

[Mary Anne]

Monday 11th December

good going Mary

I think you are such an inspiration, as alot of others on this site!! you sound well, lots of love!!!

Postitive thoughts are my mantra today, whether I drink or not, I will stay positive and make tomorrow a good day instead of feeling guilty and bad for what I have done!

Love you,

MA