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    New here...

    Hi all. I came to MWO a while back, but didn't notice the Moderation group. I'm so glad I saw it this time because being totally alcohol free just isn't going to work for me. But, I'd really like to be part of a group to have some accountability.

    Although I would like to drink a lot less, I'd feel like an idiot going to an AA meeting because I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic. Why - because I don't drink every day or even every other day, and sometimes I have only one or two drinks when I drink. And, my drinking has not caused me to miss work or crash my car or neglect my child or any of that kind of thing. The problem is that I really like to drink, and I really like drinking to excess. I find it totally fun, so I sometimes drink an entire bottle of wine for no good reason. I do this about once or twice a month. I also drink far too much in social situations. So, it's not like I drink all the time, but it's not like what I do is "normal" either.

    But, there are a ton of reasons NOT to drink so much. For example: it is making me fat; it can't be good for my liver or my brain; it's an unproductive way to spend my time; sometimes I embarass myself while I'm drunk; somtimes I fight with my husband when I'm drunk; even though I don't drink every day, I find myself wanting to which is annoying; and hangovers suck. Plus, I just feel like I'm too old to be getting drunk. It seems like a juvenile thing to do, and I feel bad about the fact that I'm still doing this well into my thirties.

    Of course, this is a terrible time of year to try to drink less. I have holiday party events to attend this Thursday and Saturday nights and on Dec. 29 and 31. Or, maybe I should say this is a great time of year to try to drink less because if I weren't trying, I'd probably make an ass of myself on one or more of these nights!

    So, for now, I want to committ to drinking a maximum of two drinks at the parties this Thursday and Saturday nights. I might only have one drink at each party. My plan is to start with a glass of water, have my one or two drinks and then leave and go home and have a huge cup of mint tea and go to bed.

    I will let you all know how it goes.

    #2
    New here...

    Welcome JW,
    It looks like you have a plan in place and that is a good thing. I, too, have trouble in social situations. I decided, after a terrible outcome to a party we hosted, to go AF for awhile. I went 22 days and then decided to mod. My goal was to be AF at any social situation but to have a couple glasses of wine with my hubby on the weekends. He does not drink much, therefore it is easier for me to only have a few with him. I let my guard down this last Sat. when we had family over. I drank way too much and feel horrible and embarrassed by my actions. I had become too complacent. I am now going to be AF for the rest of the month. Our children are coming home for Christmas and I DO NOT want to drink around them. I can't trust myself. In your third paragraph you list some very good reasons to not drink. I think it's important to remember those reasons and keep to your goals. Good luck in your journey.
    "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding." Elvis Costello

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      #3
      New here...

      Okaaaay, let's talk about the good and the bad, 'cuz there's both...

      Thursday night, I failed miserably. I was on plan in the beginning, I had my glass of water and my two glasses of wine over the course of two hours. Then it was time for me to go home. But, I said to myself, "Gee, I'm really having fun. I think I'll stay." Hmm, how do you think that ended? It ended with me falling down the steps outside the party at the end of the night and not remembering getting home. Needless to say, I blew off my plan, drank too much (I have no idea how many) and was in the dog house with my hubby the next day. Horrible choice. Not much else to say about that, so let's move on.

      Saturday night, the hubs and I went to another party that had hardly anything for non-drinkers to drink. I ended up drinking three glasses of Sprite mixed with cranberry, ate loads of cheese and ended up feeling a little sick (I usually never drink soda). But, I was really proud of myself. I had a good time and I saw a few work associates and did not make an ass of myself. Good stuff!

      Sunday, our neighbor had a holiday "open house" in the afternoon. At that party, I drank three cups of hot apple cider and ate loads of cheese. Although I felt like a tub of lard afterwards, I was very happy that I didn't drink any alcohol, especially the available champagne, which is my all-time favorite drink.

      So, now I have to get through a Christmas Eve party, a New Year's Eve party and a two-day trip to Vegas without repeating my performance from last Thursday. The good news is this gives me three more great opportunities to practice my "moderation" skills, which clearly need sharpening.

      I'll keep you all posted.

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        #4
        New here...

        Good luck JW rooting for you
        Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
        If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
        November 2, 2012

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          #5
          New here...

          Great job JW. Two out of three ain't bad. You now have some experience being at parties and not drinking. You have to be able to learn what your triggers are. I know for a fact I CANNOT drink in any social situation. I was like you Thursday night many times. Just one won't do it for me. I am modding now but will only drink with my hubby which only means 2 glasses of wine and only on the weekends. I did have a mess up last weekend when we had a family member over, not realizing that even though it was one other person it still caused problems for me. I am learning this and it may be the hard way but with each time I learn a little more about myself. I went to a party Sat and had nothing. It felt great! I also find being on here and reading helps tremendously. It doesn't allow me to forget why I am here and what my triggers are. It is a constant reminder to remain vigilant. We seem to have a lot in common. After 2 glasses for me at a party I want to stay too and then it all goes downhill from there. The only answer is to not have any. Try to have a plan before your other parties. Decide before you go what you are going to do. Do you want to repeat what happened last Thursday? Stay vigilant and keep to your goals. Let us know how you are doing.
          "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding." Elvis Costello

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            #6
            New here...

            Thanks guys.

            Right now, I'm kind of feeling like it is easier not to drink at all rather than to have only one or two. One or two makes me want to have more because, frankly, I like being drunk. So, it is kind of pointless for me to have one or two drinks at a party. One or two won't get me drunk and it will just make the craving stronger than if I had none. Anyways, I'm still sorting it out...

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              #7
              New here...

              Hi Moderating Peeps,

              Just wanted to check in and say, so far so good. I just survived a trip to Vegas where I did not get drunk at all. I moderated as planned. Yeah!

              Now, to do the same tonight...

              JW

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                #8
                New here...

                Happy New Year JW,
                Great job on your trip to Vegas. That is probably the toughest place to stay sober. How did you do last night? I actually only had 1 1/2 glasses of wine and was in bed by 10:00. I am not big into NYE these days. Those days are long gone and I thoroughly enjoyed our quiet evening. Woke up feeling great and got to the gym as well. What are your goals for the NY? Hope you are doing well and have your plan in place. Let us know how you are doing.
                "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding." Elvis Costello

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                  #9
                  New here...

                  Hi all,

                  Just checking in again. NYE went well. I had two or three small glasses of champagne and was home by 10. Overall, I've been moderating well. I had one drunk night when I went out dancing with my girlfriends, and I cannot recall the cab ride home. Otherwise, I didn't do anything too ridiculous. Nevertheless, I was a little down on myself the next day for not moderating.

                  Incidentially, my doctor gave me a new anti-anxiety drug and I'm feeling much less interested in drinking now that I'm taking it. My husband and I went out to dinner with friends who we usually drink a lot with and I only had one glass of wine. I just didn't even feel like having anything more. So, that's a new feeling for me, to say in the least.

                  Best,
                  JW

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                    #10
                    New here...

                    Long time after NYE, lol. I actually was wondering what is NYE?? haha:H

                    How are you JW?


                    "I like people too much or not at all."
                    Sylvia Plath

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                      #11
                      New here...

                      Hi all,

                      I am seriously considering taking meds now to curb my drinking, that has recently become a lot worse due to upheaval in the last 6 months.

                      I am also considering seeing a doctor about it - I was always concerned about taking meds to stop the cravings, but who am I kidding - I am taking a worse drug each day :upset:

                      What has worked for all of you?

                      I'm in Australia.
                      Time to whip AL's Ass :b&d:
                      :h ya
                      Trix

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