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**SKendall** · June 1, 2012, 11:31 AM

Toying with the idea of modding

Hi. I certainly understand the feelings of wanting to mod. At some time, we've all had the romantic myth of sitting with a glass of wine laughing with friends, etc.

Unfortunately this disease allows us to "forget" the bad times and as someone recently pointed out it's like childbirth, once you get what you want, the bad feelings go away.

I believe that when you look at why you came here in the first place and re-read those posts, that it will be a much better reality read instead of where you are now trying to romanticize drinking.

There are many posts here of people who went back, causing more pain and heartache, etc. I suggest you read some of those and give the tool box another read.

Good luck in your "new thinking".

**RingingCedars** · June 1, 2012, 09:41 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

briseus;1326936 wrote: Hello everyone!
Someone suggested to me to come to this forum. I have been back and forth between the idea of abstaining and moderating. When I am feeling crappy in the first few days of abstaining I KNOW then that I don't want to drink again but as soon as I start feelin good then I toy with the idea of modding.
I have been drinking for a couple of years now. The last year heavily and the last 6 weeks I have had about 4.5 weeks of sober time. So it is possible to mod but I am being pulled in too many directions with regards to my thinking.
I have a counsellor appointment at the end of June. Should I try modding (only on weekends) until I see him and figure out a plan from there?
Any advice or tips would be great! Thanks.

It all depends on your definition of modding in my humble opinion. From there you make choices and are responsible for them. If you cannot bear the responsibility then you need to modify your choices. There can be no freedom without responsibility. Be what you want to be not what someone else wants you to be. I wish you well.

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 04:02 AM

Toying with the idea of modding

RingingCedars;1327360 wrote: It all depends on your definition of modding in my humble opinion. From there you make choices and are responsible for them. If you cannot bear the responsibility then you need to modify your choices. There can be no freedom without responsibility. Be what you want to be not what someone else wants you to be. I wish you well.

Briseus, this forum doesn't really get used so you can go to the long term moderators board below.

I think ringing cedars has hit the nail on the head about modding. For me modding is largely about harm reduction and working on reducing my drinking as an alternative to abstaining (which I couldn't succeed at). It's not an easy way out because you still have to work at it, and work at making long term changes. If the only choices are abstinence or continuing to drink to a self destructive level, then I'd be screwed. Modding/harm reduction has given me a third option that has really helped me make progress to a more positive outcome for the future. Good luck with whatever you decide.

**paula** · June 2, 2012, 04:13 AM

Toying with the idea of modding

I thought I could moderate my drinking so many times, wishful thinking, I am an alcoholic and for me there is no such thing as moderation, if we need to ask ourselves such a question we really need to listen to the answer. Just my opinion.

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 05:25 AM

Toying with the idea of modding

I think it's a case of different strokes for different folks. People use all different approaches here at the boards, some people go to rehab, some quit cold turkey using sheer willpower, some use moderation/harm reduction, some use meds, whatever works for each person is the best way. I've tried abstinence many times and it didn't work for me, in fact it started to have even more of a negative impact on how I felt about myself and my drinking. That doesn't mean abstinence doesn't work, it just didn't work for me but based on that I wouldn't try to talk others out of trying it, just as modding will work for some but not for others and maybe different approaches work better for different personality types.

**Supercrew** · June 2, 2012, 06:16 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

drinkingal;1327584 wrote: I think it's a case of different strokes for different folks. People use all different approaches here at the boards, some people go to rehab, some quit cold turkey using sheer willpower, some use moderation/harm reduction, some use meds, whatever works for each person is the best way. I've tried abstinence many times and it didn't work for me, in fact it started to have even more of a negative impact on how I felt about myself and my drinking. That doesn't mean abstinence doesn't work, it just didn't work for me but based on that I wouldn't try to talk others out of trying it, just as modding will work for some but not for others and maybe different approaches work better for different personality types.

No offense drinkingal, but the reality is if you can't abstain there is no way that you can moderate successfully. I understand the idea of harm reduction, but you are only fooling yourself if you think it is possible for someone who obviously doesn't have enough control of themselves to quit pouring poison down their throats for a couple weeks to be able to control their intake of that poison once they are under the influence of it.

If it makes you feel better to say you are practicing "harm reduction" by continuing to drink, more power to you, by I am curious what you consider "drinking moderately" means. If you can drink moderately and stop at 2 drinks a night then you probably don't have a problem.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but if youy keep drinking and you have a problem now, it will only get worse.

**RingingCedars** · June 2, 2012, 07:32 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

Supercrew;1327930 wrote: No offense drinkingal, but the reality is if you can't abstain there is no way that you can moderate successfully. I understand the idea of harm reduction, but you are only fooling yourself if you think it is possible for someone who obviously doesn't have enough control of themselves to quit pouring poison down their throats for a couple weeks to be able to control their intake of that poison once they are under the influence of it.

If it makes you feel better to say you are practicing "harm reduction" by continuing to drink, more power to you, by I am curious what you consider "drinking moderately" means. If you can drink moderately and stop at 2 drinks a night then you probably don't have a problem.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but if youy keep drinking and you have a problem now, it will only get worse.

BS--get into the forum that suits you please. Stop trying to lord it over those that don't fit your model of perfection. You've tried to bully me and got a posse together over it as well--

Just be sober and well ok?? Stop pushing your "ideals" on others especially with your assumed authority on the whole subject.

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 07:45 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

Supercrew;1327930 wrote: No offense drinkingal, but the reality is if you can't abstain there is no way that you can moderate successfully. I understand the idea of harm reduction, but you are only fooling yourself if you think it is possible for someone who obviously doesn't have enough control of themselves to quit pouring poison down their throats for a couple weeks to be able to control their intake of that poison once they are under the influence of it.

If it makes you feel better to say you are practicing "harm reduction" by continuing to drink, more power to you, by I am curious what you consider "drinking moderately" means. If you can drink moderately and stop at 2 drinks a night then you probably don't have a problem.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but if youy keep drinking and you have a problem now, it will only get worse.

i posted on the other thread so I won't repeat what I said here because it was pretty lengthy so I'll just post a link https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...e-2-64981.html

If it makes you feel better to say you are practicing "harm reduction" by continuing to drink, more power to you, "

it doesn't make me feel better to say it (and that's a tad condescending), it does makes me feel better to practice it and it has improved my day to day life. What I don't get is why that would bother you just because I'm not doing things "the right way" according to what you believe. I'm a grown woman and I can make my own choices.

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 07:59 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

RingingCedars;1327961 wrote: BS--get into the forum that suits you please. Stop trying to lord it over those that don't fit your model of perfection. You've tried to bully me and got a posse together over it as well--

Just be sober and well ok?? Stop pushing your "ideals" on others especially with your assumed authority on the whole subject.

wow, I had no idea this happened ringingcedar, that just sucks. I totally agree though, there's no need for people to get all righteous and militant, I think supercrew needs to learn how to respect other people when they disagree with him instead of beating them over the head with his opinion.

**Supercrew** · June 2, 2012, 09:01 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

My argument with RC wasn't about drinking, it was about her continuing to bring up conspiracy theories into the holistic forum. And it wasn't even an argument, she posted bad info and I corrected her which hurt her feelings. I'm not militant, but if you are an alcoholic, yet you want to tell people that you your way of moderating, (drinking 5 drinks a night 5 days a week), and you can't stop for more than 15 days, I don't think your method of harm reduction is really reducing any harm. You are killing yourself with alcohol. Not militant, not my orders, not even a judgement, just fact.

**RingingCedars** · June 2, 2012, 09:13 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

Supercrew;1327983 wrote: just fact.

I'll decide what is fact for me and defend others' rights to do the same. You do not have the market on it. Ok? ok... sharing information is one thing...jumping on someone's post and shoving your opionion down their throats? well that's not acceptable... share your valuable information with those who ask for it or you are welcome to start your own threads sharing what you want. OK? ok

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 09:57 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

"I don't think your method of harm reduction is really reducing any harm."

wow, you had a quick read of my posts at the forum and now you think you know me so well. I noticed you didnt post what I used to drink for comparison

How convenient. Your comments about harm reduction are so ignorant I'm not even going to respond to them. Trying to have a discussion with you is just painful, gah, and seriously life is just too damn short. I got it, you have all the answers and everyone else who disagrees with you is just too dumb to see how right you are. well done, you're a legend in your own mind.

RingingCedars;1327986 wrote: I'll decide what is fact for me and defend others' rights to do the same. You do not have the market on it. Ok? ok... sharing information is one thing...jumping on someone's post and shoving your opionion down their throats? well that's not acceptable... share your valuable information with those who ask for it or you are welcome to start your own threads sharing what you want. OK? ok

Well said ringing cedars, you have such a way with words!

**LibraryGirl** · June 2, 2012, 10:06 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

Supercrew;1327983 wrote: My argument with RC wasn't about drinking, it was about her continuing to bring up conspiracy theories into the holistic forum. And it wasn't even an argument, she posted bad info and I corrected her which hurt her feelings. I'm not militant, but if you are an alcoholic, yet you want to tell people that you your way of moderating, (drinking 5 drinks a night 5 days a week), and you can't stop for more than 15 days, I don't think your method of harm reduction is really reducing any harm. You are killing yourself with alcohol. Not militant, not my orders, not even a judgement, just fact.

I think it is 6 days a week.

**drinkingal** · June 2, 2012, 10:39 PM

Toying with the idea of modding

LibraryGirl;1327996 wrote: I think it is 6 days a week.

no it was 6 back in february.

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