Re: The Sobriety Experiment: Chapter Two
Tuesday, July 25th 2017 (Phoning Every Hour)
Barry the Bullet has been a little easier to reach ever since the escapades last Wednesday when I had to go track down his home address and post the phone he'd left with me through his door. Today has not been one of these times though. Today is supposed to be the only day for the rest of the week where we have workable weather too and so I'm a little on the grumpy side. Lindsay is at her placement all day and I'm sitting here doing very little. I'm hoping to reach Barry soon to arrange going through to his to collect all of the work related stuff he has so that I can just forget about him and keep myself right about work these next five weeks but he has yet to pick up his phone despite more than twenty attempts. It just keeps saying that the phone I'm trying to reach is unable to connect and this usually happens when a line is dead because the phone is switched off. The most important thing for today (in my world I mean) is getting an answer from him and then picking up the workbook and cloths from his place. I should have had them in my possession a long time ago. The time for giving him extra chances has long, long, long since passed. I'll try calling him every half hour throughout the course of the entire day.
If there was beginning within my brain a little lingering doubt as to my future studying it was to be relieved a little this morning when I saw the email from the college offering me an unconditional place on the radio diploma that begins on September 04th – five weeks on Monday – and so I have replied to that. I've accepted it and so its kinda set in stone, although I'll not say that it's definitely definite until I receive the confirmation email back from them in response to my acceptance. It's almost definitely definite......but just not quite. I have to sort out my funding and so get that done this morning also – the only issue being where to ask for these payments to be deposited. The Credit Union isn't designed for things like this, it's more a savings account kind of thing, and so I give them Lindsay's details. I'm heading down the town in a while to kill a few birds (this is a metaphor meaning that I'll do many things on this one trip) and so I'll pop into a couple of banks as well just to see if I have any options other than the Credit Union.
I'll be killing some boredom by doing this. I'll also be out and about as I haven't done nearly as much walking since the Moonwalk as I did in the weeks and months leading up to it. I've kinda just stopped walking at all unless it's necessary and this isn't all that cool. I'll also be checking into the job centre to have a wee look at anything that might take my fancy. Browsing through their employment ''opportunities'' can be a real depressing drag at times but my current work situation can't be much worse than anything that they may have to offer. Too much time off and I am becoming restless, irritable and discontent – the times AA warns me of. Keep moving forwards.
Lindsay has with her to the hospital today my passport application which is still needing a signature from someone in a privileged enough position in society and so one of her nursy pals is doing that at some point throughout the day. Either this evening (or at the very latest tomorrow morning) and the passport application will be winging its way to the passport application reviewing people. It's another step in the right direction although one that has seemed a little more time consuming and disorganised than it perhaps needed to be.
I keep thinking back to that counselling session last night. It's the only one I'm likely to get on my own – all the other times will be with both Lindsay and I. I think the fact that this is happening every week (except for next week because holidays get in the way) and my sessions with Dr. Bacon – my clinical psychologist – are only once in a blue moon, I find myself warming to it a little more. As a counsellor she seems quite good. I guess the fact that she asks so many questions suggests that we are still very much in the assessment phase with her too as I am with Dr. Bacon but with the appointments being every week we will get a glimpse into how things can progress beyond this phase sooner rather than later. Despite having lots of experience of sitting in rooms such as this (well – not THAT much experience really, but a bit of experience) I don't have much knowledge of the later stages of therapy. Once we have a clear outline of the problem what do we do to try to sort it out? The only experience of this stage of recovery and therapy is with the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Even though it costs us every week (twenty bucks whereas the psychology is all paid for through the NHS or only the God of my understanding knows what it might cost) it's the frequency that has me rooting for Monday nights to come around so that we can move forward with this and see where it goes next.
One thing the counsellor does say that I truly believe is that whatever happens in the future Lindsay and I will always have a special place for each other – we'll remain in each other's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, sort of thing – because this is a first for each of us. The first sober. That's what it's all about in the early years is it not!? Getting through all of those ''firsts'' unscathed!?
So far I remain unscathed.
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Stevie
Phone's still ringing.
1037
Tuesday, July 25th 2017 (Phoning Every Hour)
Barry the Bullet has been a little easier to reach ever since the escapades last Wednesday when I had to go track down his home address and post the phone he'd left with me through his door. Today has not been one of these times though. Today is supposed to be the only day for the rest of the week where we have workable weather too and so I'm a little on the grumpy side. Lindsay is at her placement all day and I'm sitting here doing very little. I'm hoping to reach Barry soon to arrange going through to his to collect all of the work related stuff he has so that I can just forget about him and keep myself right about work these next five weeks but he has yet to pick up his phone despite more than twenty attempts. It just keeps saying that the phone I'm trying to reach is unable to connect and this usually happens when a line is dead because the phone is switched off. The most important thing for today (in my world I mean) is getting an answer from him and then picking up the workbook and cloths from his place. I should have had them in my possession a long time ago. The time for giving him extra chances has long, long, long since passed. I'll try calling him every half hour throughout the course of the entire day.
If there was beginning within my brain a little lingering doubt as to my future studying it was to be relieved a little this morning when I saw the email from the college offering me an unconditional place on the radio diploma that begins on September 04th – five weeks on Monday – and so I have replied to that. I've accepted it and so its kinda set in stone, although I'll not say that it's definitely definite until I receive the confirmation email back from them in response to my acceptance. It's almost definitely definite......but just not quite. I have to sort out my funding and so get that done this morning also – the only issue being where to ask for these payments to be deposited. The Credit Union isn't designed for things like this, it's more a savings account kind of thing, and so I give them Lindsay's details. I'm heading down the town in a while to kill a few birds (this is a metaphor meaning that I'll do many things on this one trip) and so I'll pop into a couple of banks as well just to see if I have any options other than the Credit Union.
I'll be killing some boredom by doing this. I'll also be out and about as I haven't done nearly as much walking since the Moonwalk as I did in the weeks and months leading up to it. I've kinda just stopped walking at all unless it's necessary and this isn't all that cool. I'll also be checking into the job centre to have a wee look at anything that might take my fancy. Browsing through their employment ''opportunities'' can be a real depressing drag at times but my current work situation can't be much worse than anything that they may have to offer. Too much time off and I am becoming restless, irritable and discontent – the times AA warns me of. Keep moving forwards.
Lindsay has with her to the hospital today my passport application which is still needing a signature from someone in a privileged enough position in society and so one of her nursy pals is doing that at some point throughout the day. Either this evening (or at the very latest tomorrow morning) and the passport application will be winging its way to the passport application reviewing people. It's another step in the right direction although one that has seemed a little more time consuming and disorganised than it perhaps needed to be.
I keep thinking back to that counselling session last night. It's the only one I'm likely to get on my own – all the other times will be with both Lindsay and I. I think the fact that this is happening every week (except for next week because holidays get in the way) and my sessions with Dr. Bacon – my clinical psychologist – are only once in a blue moon, I find myself warming to it a little more. As a counsellor she seems quite good. I guess the fact that she asks so many questions suggests that we are still very much in the assessment phase with her too as I am with Dr. Bacon but with the appointments being every week we will get a glimpse into how things can progress beyond this phase sooner rather than later. Despite having lots of experience of sitting in rooms such as this (well – not THAT much experience really, but a bit of experience) I don't have much knowledge of the later stages of therapy. Once we have a clear outline of the problem what do we do to try to sort it out? The only experience of this stage of recovery and therapy is with the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Even though it costs us every week (twenty bucks whereas the psychology is all paid for through the NHS or only the God of my understanding knows what it might cost) it's the frequency that has me rooting for Monday nights to come around so that we can move forward with this and see where it goes next.
One thing the counsellor does say that I truly believe is that whatever happens in the future Lindsay and I will always have a special place for each other – we'll remain in each other's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, sort of thing – because this is a first for each of us. The first sober. That's what it's all about in the early years is it not!? Getting through all of those ''firsts'' unscathed!?
So far I remain unscathed.
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'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
Stevie
Phone's still ringing.
1037
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