It's my turn

[caysea]

Re: Its my turn

Hi All
Boyz you write that after 6 months your wife was falling in love with you again. This to me is the only way the ones we have hurt can ever love and trust us again. Day by day staying sober and rebuilding the bridges we have broken. For those at the start of recovery don’t expect forgiveness over night. It comes with time and is earned. This is one of the reasons that just having one or a slip is a big deal it erodes away all the sober days you built up. It not only starts YOU back at day one but also the relationships you have with your family. We all can rebuild our lives by staying sober
It is great to read about members who have found their key to recovery and the benefits they are enjoying.

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

Day 228
10%

10%...is that a little or a lot? 10% of ten dollars is one dollar, 10% of one dollar is ten cents, 10% of a dime is a penny and that is a little is it not? 10% of a million dollars is one hundred thousand dollars and most people would think that is a LOT!

It is a natural response to think to 10% as one tenth of something which is 90% less of something and in comparison, that is a little no matter how you measure it. What about 10% more? What is 10% more of a hundred dollars? That of course is ten dollars. Nothing to sneeze at and anyone can think of many things to do with an extra 10 dollars.

*What if* you were to add 10% more happiness to your life? 10% more happiness to your day? Like the ten dollars above, 10% more happiness may not at first seem like a lot, but if you really think about what 10% more happiness would mean to you in your day, your week, month or year and no matter how you slice it, that actually amounts to quite a lot.

Thinking in general terms, each day you are awake for 16 hours or 960 minutes. *What if* you were to make an effort (a 10% more effort) to do something that makes you happier for that 10% of your day? Think about it for a moment…that is 96 minutes of every day you could be happier for that amount of time may at first seem like a lot! Or is it small? 96 minutes when you really think about it is just over an hour and a half! WOW! A whole hour and a half of just being, thinking, feeling happier every day now can seem like a lot and most awesome as well!!

Your first reaction to finding something/anything to do for an hour and a half that could make you happier now may seem like a bigger challenge to accomplish. So…let’s assume you also work an 8 hour job and that may leave you with 8 hours of your day as ‘free time’ and 10% of that is just 48 minutes to fill. In that 8 hours of ‘free time’ think of 48 minutes that are mindless unfulfilled minutes and target those 48 minutes as they are the easiest minutes to trade up for the 10% more happiness. So now all you have to do is think of something that could make you a little or a lot happier each and every day. That could be a nice walk outside, 48 minutes of a yoga class, your favorite hobby, reading, writing or sitting and chatting with a good friend. It is easier than you might think and 10% more happiness in your life is a *LOT*!

**This story was inspired by the book titled 10% Happier by Dan Harris. Spend 10% of your day reading this book…you will be 10% happier when you do!

~Today I am strong and sober and I embrace all the good things I now have in my life all because I never want to feel that pain again and most import of all is… *I…Don’t…Drink*

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

HOLY CRAP! Feeling real good about my progress so far in my most recent foray into sobriety and recovery I thought a trip down memory lane was in order and I am ashamed, embarrassed and humbled that I have documented 15 day 1's here over the last 11 years. I said at my graduation night from my outpatient program in February that I wished I had known 10 year ago what I know now and I do feel strong in that I would have had far less struggles with my sobriety...or would I have?

[NoSugar]

Re: Its my turn

But, you've had your last day one, so you're ok now :hug:. I had innumerable day ones- I would swear each morning that I would NOT drink that evening and then I did anyway.

I'm sure we all wish we knew then what we do now - most importantly, that not drinking is not at all as bad or scary as it seemed and that every part of life is at least better and easier, if not perfect, without the burden of addiction. I'm not glad that I went through this whole experience but I like the person I am now much more than the woman who was primed to become addicted, so I don't regret everything about it and am grateful to have had my eyes opened.

Have a good day, NS

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

Day 250

The recovery roller coaster is finally starting to level out. Exercising an hour a day has helped keep my wheels on the road. Now only attending outpatient as part of after care I may even take on a role as an alumni resource for those toughing it out in their early days. Quite amazed that I am actually living the same life I have lived now stone cold sober. Not much has really changed other than there is a whole lot more room in our recycling bin. I also never fully appreciated the depth of tension in my family that my drinking caused. In a way I am not sure they new this much either as it took removing the chaotic presence of alcohol from my life and household for us all to realize just how much of a role alcohol and my abusive drinking played in all our lives. My wife especially. It is so joyful to see our relationship rebloom after all these foggy years but at the same time it comes with the pain of watching her re-emerge from her shelter, her safe room that she was forced to take cover while my war with alcohol raged on around her. How selfish I was and the cost in terms of love, time, trust, faith and happiness that my addiction cost us all is incalculable and why I embrace my sobriety all the more knowing I must never ever fall back into that abyss of addiction at the very least for their sakes.

Life now sober is a constant re-acquaintance with my life I really never knew. Sobriety has eliminated the emotional and physical pains alcohol so effectively neutralized which is allowing the true beauty of life to emerge. What comes with it as well is the emergence of the real pains and discomforts that life is also all about. The aches and pains of my aging body, the stress and challenges of a career, the day to day grind and chores all those annoyances I once obliterated with alcohol. I can now also see just how easy it would be to invite less problematic stimulants, legal opioids and even pot to take on the role alcohol once played...but I am aware enough to know the insanity of that rationale and instead work so very hard at embracing the joys, sights, sound smells and touch of life. Long embraces with the ones you love now provide all the reinforcement I need to add one more sober day and today will be another amazing day!

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

DAY 257

WHAT IF?

With every new day of sobriety I learn something about myself specifically about my fears and my passions. Though they are very specific and static in their nature, today I am able to see just how different they exist in my life and my mind when sober compared to when I was inebriated with alcohol so I am just going to come out and say it…I didn’t have a drinking problem….I have a mental health problem that I treated with alcohol.

Take a moment and think long and hard about ALL of the problems in our world that are deeply intertwined with mental health issues. Addictions, aberrant behaviors, inferior job performance, educational difficulties, relationship, family and social issues. Now drill a little deeper and it is very apparent that addicts and alcoholics almost universally have mental health issues they have to contend with. I will take it a step farther that I have yet to meet anyone in recovery who has not had assistance from the mental health professional community in their quest to overcome their addictions.

The question I have is, why isn’t our society addressing mental health and well-being BEFORE it becomes problematic for people? Just imagine the physical and emotional suffering and costs associated with fixing an addiction problem that perhaps could be avoided entirely by changing how we approach mental health in our society! Why are we always fixing the mental health problems of people instead of doing things that can help prevent mental health issues?

I am now sober for the first time in a LONG time because I addressed some serious mental health issues that helped enable me to let go of the alcohol I was using to self-medicate the underlying anxiety and stress that consumed me. What if we started to view mental health treatment as the preventative solution instead of holding it responsible for the problems that occur from the neglect of one’s mental health??

[Guitarista]

Re: Its my turn

Right on 4TB.

It was my thinking, not my drinking that was the problem. I'm told schools here in Oz have introduced mindfulness as a part of general education for kids. We aren't told or educated about the power and option of solid mental and emotional health strategies such as meditation, breathing, mindfulness. We only hear about this stuff when we're in trouble. Thousands of years of useful tools and info. But we have to seek it out. Such info really needs to be mainstream and everywhere.

Great job on 257! Right behind you my friend.

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

You must do the following...

No more alcohol or recreational drugs and only prescribed medications.
Total lifestyle change
Slow down, take it easier.
Change your diet
Exercise daily
Schedule regular therapy
Take up a hobby
Enjoy life

Congratulations!! You just survived your first heart attack! This is what my employee now faces after his heart attack Saturday. Sound familiar?? Crazy isn't it!

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

WHY?

Today at a Sobriety website the question of “What is you why” was asked. I myself have been asking myself that same question for over 9 months and my answer was that every time I answer why that only begged the question of why to be asked of me again. My own answer seemed evasive at best and of course I was curious to see what the others answered to this obvious yet perplexing question and here are a few representative answers:

My kids
I refuse to lose any more of the things I've worked so hard to maintain.
My life it’s to short to be dead
My kids and I deserve better than a drunk me. Plus Im needed, I have a responsibility to show up.
Wanted a life!
At the time for others , now for me .
Save My Life
Wanted to be better.
I didn't want to die a pathetic death.
I wanted to LIVE
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Living Life The Way, my Creator, Meant Me to Live..

There it is…could not be clearer…’LOUD and clear"…addicts want to live, addicts want to live a life that is NOT what life was when we were addicted to whatever. All my layers of my ‘Why’ onion are essentially the same as well. They all relate to living life the way it can be free of the bondage of addiction and all the pitfalls, problems and ultimately death it brings with it. Why we became addicted and why we want to escape from that nightmare is the single most import question you can answer and then gain insight and understanding that long term sobriety really does require. What is your why??

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

Message In A Bottle

DO YOU FAKE IT?

Do you ever fake how you feel in recovery? Sobriety most certainly puts us in unfamiliar territory. Everything we were intimately familiar with as addicts is suddenly thrust upon us in a whole different light. The path of sobriety is laden with all sorts of therapies, readings, sayings and actions that are centered on being positive and doing the right thing. I can think of a million things we have to do that are the “right thing” that are less than fun or enjoyable we have to do and having to go through our days one day at a time while struggling with our addiction is number one in the lives of anyone in recovery. Yet we hear the stories in meetings or read in forums of all the happy sober people with an over abundance of joy in their lives.

No question those moments of discovering just how different, even pleasant and surprising being sober can feel is the bonus we get for all our hard work. But these moments are often temporary and loose luster as the grind of fighting urges, battling triggers and longing of the “good o’l’s days of a carefree mindless high to make our days ‘easier’ flitter through our skulls.
Sobriety demands we rise above the fray and squeeze some joy out of our days. Some days it is a rain storm some days barely a drop. We nod and smile when we hear all about the rainbows and butterflies in others journeys in recovery. We can find ourselves wanting to say things are great hoping we will feel just like them.

It is very hard sometimes to say just how shitty we feel. We even go as far as faking how we feel. We might hide the fact that being sober does NOT feel good or just how much we really want to use or take just one drink. We long to feel just as strong as the other sober person next to us.

As long as you are doing the sober ‘thang’…it’s OK to fake it and just as OK to not let anyone know you are faking it.


~Today I am strong and sober and I embrace all the good things I now have in my life all because I never want to feel that pain again and most import of all is… *I…Don’t…Drink*
Jay
230 Days Sober

[4theboyz]

Re: Its my turn

A year ago I wrote here about my 15th day one at wanting to get sober....and I f'n did it! Day 365 ONE YEAR SOBER! By the grace of God it can be done! Thank you to every one that gave me words of encouragement. Took 10 years to get to this point...as they say never give up the fight! Wow! Feels freaking amazing! I love all of you! Really amazing! Wow!

[NoSugar]

Re: Its my turn

You are living proof that as long as you keep trying, there is hope. Congratulations and keep doing what you are doing !

[caysea]

Re: Its my turn

Hi All
Congrats on the 1 year. Certainly a big milestone in recovery

[Ginger999]

Re: Its my turn

Congrats on one year!! Here's to many, many more.

[abcowboy]