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I am 32 years old, and have been drinking to the point of blackouts, or I pass out, almost on a daily basis for about 8 months now. Before that, I had never really liked drinking except for an occasional beer or two with friends, but it has been years since I really drank socially, so how I started drinking as I do now has a bit of history behind it.
I smoked an "herb" for about 10 years, and one day I told myself I was going to quit smoking before I turned 30 because I was tired or wasting time, money, and my brain cells. I was able to quit almost effortlessly four months before turning 30, only having a craving to smoke for the first day or two after my last smoking session. I was surprised at how easy it was, and wondered why I had not stopped sooner.
One day (more than a year after quitting the herb), while thinking about wanting to have some fun and feel high, I considered alcohol. I went out to the movie rental store, got a couple of movies, and stopped by the liquor store and bought a six-pack of beer. When I got home, popped in the DVD, and started watching and drinking. By the time I got to the sixth beer, I had a light buzz, but it wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped.
A few months later (I had not drank since the movie and beer episode), I started thinking about how more potent liquor would effect me, so I went to the store, bought a bottle of rum and a 2-liter of soda. I found that this “rum” buzz was more of what I had in mind... and less drinking time required! What a miserable road I was leading myself down. At first, I'd only drink on my days off from work, and not to the point of passing out or blackouts, but I gradually added more days on, and soon, it was almost every day of the week.
What a miserable life to live. Now, all I do is work, go home, do any chores that need to be done, and after that, watch TV and drink, drink, drink. I am disgusted with myself. So now, I am going to put it to an end. I woke up today, as usual, still feeling a light buzz, and just crappy. I have been consistently 3- 5 minutes late to work every day for the past several months because I barely feel like getting out of bed. I am fortunate I have not been fired yet, but my reliability keeps me in the safe zone since I have only missed one day of work in the last 3 and a half years, and the occupation I hold tends to be hard to fill or hard to find people who don’t want to quit after working for a while because it is a night job (11p-7a). I am going to college, and thankfully, I have somehow avoided any problems in that area, but I am afraid that if I do continue to drink, my grades will suffer as I can barely manage all of my daily goings-on.
Well, thanks for reading, and I wish you all well, and good luck on your quest for clarity and pureness. I cannot wait for tomorrow. I just know I will feel better after ending this day without drinking, but I do not look forward to the cravings
I am 32 years old, and have been drinking to the point of blackouts, or I pass out, almost on a daily basis for about 8 months now. Before that, I had never really liked drinking except for an occasional beer or two with friends, but it has been years since I really drank socially, so how I started drinking as I do now has a bit of history behind it.
I smoked an "herb" for about 10 years, and one day I told myself I was going to quit smoking before I turned 30 because I was tired or wasting time, money, and my brain cells. I was able to quit almost effortlessly four months before turning 30, only having a craving to smoke for the first day or two after my last smoking session. I was surprised at how easy it was, and wondered why I had not stopped sooner.
One day (more than a year after quitting the herb), while thinking about wanting to have some fun and feel high, I considered alcohol. I went out to the movie rental store, got a couple of movies, and stopped by the liquor store and bought a six-pack of beer. When I got home, popped in the DVD, and started watching and drinking. By the time I got to the sixth beer, I had a light buzz, but it wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped.
A few months later (I had not drank since the movie and beer episode), I started thinking about how more potent liquor would effect me, so I went to the store, bought a bottle of rum and a 2-liter of soda. I found that this “rum” buzz was more of what I had in mind... and less drinking time required! What a miserable road I was leading myself down. At first, I'd only drink on my days off from work, and not to the point of passing out or blackouts, but I gradually added more days on, and soon, it was almost every day of the week.
What a miserable life to live. Now, all I do is work, go home, do any chores that need to be done, and after that, watch TV and drink, drink, drink. I am disgusted with myself. So now, I am going to put it to an end. I woke up today, as usual, still feeling a light buzz, and just crappy. I have been consistently 3- 5 minutes late to work every day for the past several months because I barely feel like getting out of bed. I am fortunate I have not been fired yet, but my reliability keeps me in the safe zone since I have only missed one day of work in the last 3 and a half years, and the occupation I hold tends to be hard to fill or hard to find people who don’t want to quit after working for a while because it is a night job (11p-7a). I am going to college, and thankfully, I have somehow avoided any problems in that area, but I am afraid that if I do continue to drink, my grades will suffer as I can barely manage all of my daily goings-on.
Well, thanks for reading, and I wish you all well, and good luck on your quest for clarity and pureness. I cannot wait for tomorrow. I just know I will feel better after ending this day without drinking, but I do not look forward to the cravings
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