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**scrubbly** · October 25, 2009, 08:33 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

:welcome: Cookie!

Boy, lady, you have a lot on your plate with your wonderful children! They are blessings but you are also dealing with a lot, you sound like a great mother to them.

Welcome to the site...have you read the My Way Out book yet? I highly recommend getting it and giving it a read....it will help you make a PLAN for getting alcohol...AL as we call it here on the site out of your life, other than just white-knuckling it day by day.

Here is a link to the page where you can order the book online or download the PDF.

Quit drinking today the easy way!

Good luck to you!

**Gold** · October 25, 2009, 09:55 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Hi cookie :welcome:

You've certainly had some challenges! It takes a very special courage to support your children through all that they have been through. We all want to spare them suffering. You must be a very special person for those babies to have chosen you.

I saw your post on the hate, loath and cannot stand about drinking thread, and how good intentions in the morning disappear by the evening, I can relate so well to that. Being sick and tired of being sick and tired is a good place to start, because there's no denying a change is wanted.

Scrubbly's suggestion of a plan is important, I think that is what helps to differentiate this time from previous attempts, and makes sobriety the highest priority. I expect you have read around the site a lot and you will have noticed that you are not alone, I found that in itself dissolved the shame and guilt I had been feeling, which makes it easier to forgive yourself which is a good start!

**Heavenly** · October 25, 2009, 02:55 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Hey welcome and don't worry, there is always someone around you can relate to and get support off, you have already shown strength and courage with the health problems of your children.

This is going to take a little bit more strength and courage, but like with your children it will be well worth it ...

I wish you all the best ..... xx

**Doggygirl** · October 25, 2009, 03:16 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

:welcome: Cookie! Sounds like you have been through a lot with your kids and it's really obvious how much you love them. I think you are wise to spot the problem now before AL robs you of even more in your life. This journey to sobriety is not easy, but I do not regret one single moment. It is SO hard, especially at first. But when I look at my life today compared to where I was just a few years ago - I'd have to be nuts to ever drink again. I've gone from slowly killing myself to finally LIVING. You can too!

Hope to get to know you better. Strength and hope,

DG

**Guest** · October 26, 2009, 09:43 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

I hope you had a good first day...wishing you much comfort and strength!

**hellocookie** · October 28, 2009, 07:35 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

:thanks:Thank to you all! I really feel I am in the right place. I have made it to day 4. Don't think I don't want a drink now

but I am trying like hell to realize how many stupid things I've done and said with AL. My husbands old group of band buddies are downstairs right now rockin' out and boy does that stir up the feelings to party. Instead I'll drink my tea and read more posts....and feel better in the morning!

**scrubbly** · October 28, 2009, 08:16 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

BRAVO Cookie!!! You titled this oost so tentatively, that you were going to try for just ONE day and here you are clearing day 4. That is an awesome accomplishment, especially with your husband having friends over who are drinking. Good for you for sticking with tea and sticking close to the boards!! Well done.

**mountaingirl** · October 28, 2009, 08:45 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Good for you Cookie! I definitely understand "stirring up the feelings to party". I can hear a certain song/music and want a drink because it has always gone together hand in hand. I will be going to sleep soon and when I wake up tomorrow it will be day 3 af. I have felt so groggy and irritated today, imagine that? I hope to physically feel better tomorrow. I look forward to reading more of your post- Congrats on making a great decision tonight and enjoy your tea

**hellocookie** · October 29, 2009, 06:17 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

I hear ya mountaingirl I was fine at work (happy, laughing) as the night went on after I got home I slowly turned int a "Major B***ch" according to my 16 yo son. I tried to keep myself busy but got aggrivated with everyone that I was doing all the housework. I have to learn to relax differently that having a drink. My concern tho is this weekend we have a party for Halloween and our friends are big drinkers too. The husband of this couple brews beer and it's always an AL fest. I want to go but I don't want to drink.

I also don't want to explain why I'm not drinking. I would just not go but it's an after trick or treating party so we will already be with them all. Any suggestions?

**mountaingirl** · October 29, 2009, 06:47 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Good morning cookie-

I know this weekend will be hard....but you can do it!!! You could tell your friends that you are not drinking right now because 1. you don't want to feel crappy in the morning or 2. it's fattening or 3. you have something important to do early in the morning or 4. You are on medication that you can't mix alcohol with...... just try to think of something so you won't feel pressured to drink. I certainly do not have all of the answers as I am in the same boat as you!
Also, make a point to stop by and get sparkling water with lime, seltzer water, diet coke, or something that you can sip on throughout the night. I hope this helps!!! Thanks for asking for suggestions. Now I can try to follow my on suggestions next time I am put in this situation. Have a great day and let me know how this weekend goes

**LVT25** · October 29, 2009, 09:18 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Hello, hellocookie!

:welcome: to MWO. I hope you keep coming back and posting. It seems like my posts to the new people on the site seems to send them running, never to be seen again!

Wow, you have had some major stress in your life. My first son was 8 weeks early, and the last 11 weeks of the pregnancy were pretty scary! But we were very, very fortunate that our son did not have any major problems! I've seen those little 2# babies, and it is truly a miracle they can survive!

I think in our culture it is so acceptable and so common to use alcohol as a relaxant, and stress reliever--and I guess it does work, for awhile. It is really hard at first to quit when all of your friends and your husband still drinks. I was, and at times still am a real bitch. AFter so many years abusing alcohol, it takes time to learn to live above the influence. Be gentle with yourself, and honest with your family. With my friends, I was honest with them too, they mostly looked at me like I'd lost my mind, but honestly, most of my friends either didn't drink as much as I did, or they've slowed down or quit too.

Halloween is a toughie. I feel like a real party pooper sometimes, but I can truly focus on my kids this way--and I am a better mom--even though they don't think so at times.

So, hang in there, it is so worth it--it really is!:h

**momma** · October 29, 2009, 01:47 PM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Hellocookie!
I just completed my day one yesterday. I've been married for 20years, have 3 kids, and my husband is my drinking buddy. This will be interesting to see how abstaining or moderating works with or against our marriages! I love my hubby and am hoping we can get better together. Good luck to you and lets keep in touch!
momma

**hellocookie** · October 31, 2009, 09:04 AM

Going to try for Day 1 today

Thanks :thanks:everyone, I will try your suggestions mountaingirl. I was really proud of myself last nite my friend and her daughters came over and we all brought our kids to a haunted house nearby. Once we came back I thought for sure I'd really crave a beer...well I did but it passed (even while hubby was have a couple). Right now I feel he would be my downfall, he talks about cutting down but doesn't act on it at all. He and I were drinking buddies also...hanging out by the firepit outside, etc. Lately I'm trying to avoid him (not a good idea)because I really don't want to be around the AL. Plus he starts to aggrivate me when he speaks (repeating himself or getting upset and bitchy about stuff that may have happened at work). Anyway about tonight at this party the major issue is an ex-best friend that had an affair with my husband will be there. I have dealt with this situation (it happened 10 years ago..iI forgave the two of them then she wanted to initiate a sexual relationship with him 3 years ago..this time something "almost" happened but my husband surprisingly realized this would be wrong and told me) but at one fine point of drinking at a bar my husband's band was playing at I was well on my way and decided to confront her (I've already done this before but you know being drunk and all I felt like beating the shit out of her) so, after a few choice comments I raised my fist to punch her teeth in and my husband's friend grabbed my fist from behind preventing my from punching her. Probably a good idea on my part I didn't need to get arrested

. Funny enough this is so not me. I rarely confront, let alone start fights with anyone (which is why I think my husband and she thought they could do what they were). Well, my husband knows my feelings about him, her and all the situations we find ourselves together in... (mutual friends parties, school-our children go to school together, extra curricular activities-daughters were on the same cheerleading team) so it SUCKS. I wanted to move out of this area but my husband say "I just love it here" . I have to say it is nice here but, it could be nice anywhere. Oh yes, I had to attend a party she was at over the summer and she acted like I was her best friend yakking away to me. Just a little more beerand a little more, and a little more.....and I got through the party..I don't want to have that lack of control anymore, I'm stronger than that, stronger than her and her feelings of superiority (the fact that she has something to hold over me with the relationship she once had with my husband, sometimes I wish I had said you want him take him he's no freakin prize

).
Ok I got most of it off my chest!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL!!!:banana:

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