Couldn't think of an artful title. Whatever. I'm 35, Male, from California. I'm a (feels like) lifelong drunk.
I've always been an awkward kid, made fun of a lot in middle school. Hung with the "outcasts" in high school. Goths, mostly. Wasn't fat then, am now. Started drinking around 17, along with drugs; LSD mostly, also pot, meth. I got past the drugs mostly, still smoke weed when I can, but largely do booze. I met my soul mate but lost her due to drink. I've started a lot of good things, but always failed due to drinking.
I drink at minimum 12 units a day, just to feel normal and bleed off the anxiety of the day. Once I feel normal, I usually run down to the liquor store and grab another 12 pack. Beer is my drink of choice, but I like vodka and gin as well. When I run out of beer, I will either pass out or drink from my hard liquor stash. The other night I drank 12 units of beer, then poured a huge glass of Bailey's on ice and fortified it with around 12oz of scotch. After I finished that, I smoked two joints, then passed out. I'm still surprised I woke up.
I hold down an IT job that bores the crap out of me, but keeps me fed and liquored, and it's loose enough that I can sleep in on days after a serious bender and not get fired.
I ran across this site from a random article about Dr. Amiesen and Baclofen. I was, to use the brilliant UK slang, "gobsmacked" that such a "cure" could exist. I have been reading and lurking on these forums ever since, and placed my order for Baclofen about 8 days ago.
Today, I came home from the bar, and my Baclofen was in my mailbox. I've been staring at the pills, and drinking beer. I am terrified. I am terrified to take it, because I bought it over the internet, and am not under a Doctor's care. I am terrified that I will have some adverse effect and .. I don't even know. I'm terrified that it will WORK and I will not know what to do with myself. The anxiety is overwhelming, and all I can do is sit here staring at the pills and drinking beer.
That is my story. I hope I will be able to post more.
I've always been an awkward kid, made fun of a lot in middle school. Hung with the "outcasts" in high school. Goths, mostly. Wasn't fat then, am now. Started drinking around 17, along with drugs; LSD mostly, also pot, meth. I got past the drugs mostly, still smoke weed when I can, but largely do booze. I met my soul mate but lost her due to drink. I've started a lot of good things, but always failed due to drinking.
I drink at minimum 12 units a day, just to feel normal and bleed off the anxiety of the day. Once I feel normal, I usually run down to the liquor store and grab another 12 pack. Beer is my drink of choice, but I like vodka and gin as well. When I run out of beer, I will either pass out or drink from my hard liquor stash. The other night I drank 12 units of beer, then poured a huge glass of Bailey's on ice and fortified it with around 12oz of scotch. After I finished that, I smoked two joints, then passed out. I'm still surprised I woke up.
I hold down an IT job that bores the crap out of me, but keeps me fed and liquored, and it's loose enough that I can sleep in on days after a serious bender and not get fired.
I ran across this site from a random article about Dr. Amiesen and Baclofen. I was, to use the brilliant UK slang, "gobsmacked" that such a "cure" could exist. I have been reading and lurking on these forums ever since, and placed my order for Baclofen about 8 days ago.
Today, I came home from the bar, and my Baclofen was in my mailbox. I've been staring at the pills, and drinking beer. I am terrified. I am terrified to take it, because I bought it over the internet, and am not under a Doctor's care. I am terrified that I will have some adverse effect and .. I don't even know. I'm terrified that it will WORK and I will not know what to do with myself. The anxiety is overwhelming, and all I can do is sit here staring at the pills and drinking beer.
That is my story. I hope I will be able to post more.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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